48 Hours

Elizabeth rolled over in bed and reached for Robert. Her hand came up empty and her eyes popped open. She scanned the room and noticed the light was on in the walk in closet. "Robert," she called as she glanced at the clock. It was early, a little after 5:30.

"Lizzie, it's early, what are you doing up?" Robert called back as he walked out of the closet and sat down on the ottoman.

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied as she sat up.

"I gave up on trying to sleep," he sighed. "Thought I'd run before I head to work."

Elizabeth nodded as she looked out the window. "Robert, you do realize it's drizzling out, right?"

"Yeah, I see it. I don't care," he muttered.

Elizabeth crawled to the end of the bed and motioned towards Robert's feet. He lifted them up and she tied his running shoes for him.

"Go back to sleep," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

"Be careful Robert," she said as he left the room. She wasn't thrilled about him running in the rain and less thrilled about him running in the rain before the sun came up. But she wasn't going to argue with him.

It was the beginning of Robert's last week at County. After returning from the Jersey Shore in September he had sat down with Donald and gave notice of his intentions. All Donald asked for was two weeks but Robert offered to stay until a suitable replacement was found. That process had taken longer than either of them had ever imagined. Two weeks had turned into nearly 2 months. But Robert had hung in there, doing his best to just get through the days. Thanks to some intervention by Abby, Robert and Carter had come to an uneasy truce. Elizabeth and Abby had all but given up on their men becoming friends but were happy they could at least be in the same room without killing each other, most of the time.

Robert had taken a teaching position at Loyola's Stritch School of Medicine. He was set to start after the New Year. Much to Elizabeth's surprise he was really looking forward to it. He was also really looking forward to have 6 weeks off with no work obligations.

Elizabeth peeked in to check on Ella and found her still sound asleep so she crawled back in bed and promptly fell back to sleep.

Robert had been running fairly regularly since returning home from Ocean City. He'd become comfortable with his new center of gravity and his strength and stamina were improving. The only time he really felt the least bit uneasy was on mornings like this, when the streets were wet. The fact that it was still pretty dark out only added to his uneasy feeling.

As Robert circled the pond in the park to start the trip back towards home his right foot hit a patch of wet leaves and slid out from under him. His right knee skidded along the wet pavement until he eventually stopped a few feet later. It took a few minutes to ascertain that he wasn't seriously hurt, just a little shaken up and muddy. With his teeth he pulled his right sleeve over his hand and used it to wipe the blood and mud off his knee, cursing his decision to wear shorts instead of long pants even though the temperature was hovering in the mid 50's. Walking the rest of the way around the pond he wondered if this mishap was just a foreshadowing to his last week. He took his time on the way home, jogging slowly and watching where he was going.

He was hoping Elizabeth would still be asleep and he could just hop in the shower to get cleaned up and warmed up. But as usually happened to him in situations like that it was not to be. As he rounded the corner he saw Gretel in the yard and he knew Elizabeth was awake.

"Robert, is that you?" she called as he came in the door that lead out to the deck.

"It's either me or Gretel's learned some new skills," he called back as he toed off his shoes and kicked them aside.

"Very funny. What would you like for..." Elizabeth started to ask, stopping short when she looked up to see Robert standing by the refrigerator, wet, muddy and bleeding. "Robert," she cried as she motioned for him to take a seat on the stool.

"I'm fine. I just slipped on some leaves. Don't panic," he pleaded.

Elizabeth looked at him warily as she wet a paper towel. She sat on the other stool and pulled his right leg up. Robert let out a little hiss as she tried to gently clean away the remaining dirt and blood. "Are you sure you're ok?" she asked as she motioned towards his left side.

"I'm sure. I fell on my right side," Robert replied as he kissed her cheek and stood up to go upstairs to shower. He peeked in on Ella and found her still asleep. He pulled the quilt up over her and kissed her forehead. Gretel followed him into his room and settled down by the window.

Ella was awake and knocking on the bathroom door the second after Robert stepped out of the shower. "Potty," she yelled. Robert threw on his robe and lowered the toilet lid while Ella pushed down her Pull-Up. Elizabeth found the two of them a few minutes later. Robert was trimming his beard and Ella was trying to wind the toilet paper back on the roll. "So, this is where the party is?" she asked with a grin.

"Looks that way," muttered Robert. He finished getting dressed while Elizabeth took Ella downstairs to feed her.

Twenty minutes later Robert stood in the middle of the kitchen, fidgeting, while Elizabeth fixed his tie and helped him into his coat. "Hold still Robert," Elizabeth chided gently.

"Sorry. What time are you on today?" he asked as he reached for his cup of coffee.

"I am on call this afternoon. Hopefully I won't have to come in."

"Yeah, that'll happen," teased Robert. "So I guess I'll see you by lunchtime," smirked Robert as he kissed Elizabeth and Ella goodbye. He heard Dorothy honk from the driveway and headed out the front door.

********************************

After a long drawn out trauma Robert stumbled out to the ADMIT desk to catch his breath.

"Dr. Romano, your patient left his watch. Care to go up to the roof to give it too him?" asked Frank.

"Give it to her," muttered Robert as he pointed toward Neela.

"I don't know how to get up there," she protested as she took the watch from Frank.

"Oh for the love of....didn't you get a tour when you started here?" snorted Robert as he pointed her in the direction of the elevator.

By the time the elevator was halfway up to the roof Robert had broken out in a cold sweat and was trying desperately not to hyperventilate. Neela was giving him strange looks and he wished he were anywhere else. He hadn't been on the roof since the amputation.

"Dr. Romano, are you coming?" Neela asked as the doors slid open to reveal the helicopter that had just landed. Robert was frozen to his spot.

"You go," he mumbled as he tossed her the bag with the watch and pushed the button to close the elevator doors. By the time the elevator stopped in the ER Robert was shaking badly and trying not to throw up. He all but ran out into the ambulance bay. He paced for a minute and then took a seat on the bench, dropping he head to his knees, trying to calm down. This was his first real panic attack and wasn't sure how to handle it.

"Dr. Romano," he heard someone call his name. Not having the energy to raise his head he just waved his hand a little and hoped who ever it was would go away. No such luck. "You ok?" asked Abby as she sat down next to him. She took a good look at him. He was shaking and sweaty.

"Do I look ok?" he snorted as he lifted his head up a little and ran his hand over his head.

"Not at all," smirked Abby as she took in his pale complexion. She reached for his wrist to take his pulse. Robert thought about pulling away but he'd learned over the past months not to underestimate Abby's determination.

"Yeah, that's a little fast," she snorted as she let go of his hand. "Let's go," she said as she put her hand under his elbow and helped him to his feet.

"Just let me go into my office. I'll be fine," Robert said quietly, the pleading evident in his voice.

Abby was about to agree when Robert stumbled and nearly fell. "In a minute, first let me at least check your blood pressure and get you a paper bag before you hyperventilate."

Robert grudgingly agreed and followed her back through the sliding doors. She led him towards a vacant exam room and motioned for him to have a seat. She stuck the pulse ox monitor on his finger and got a blood pressure. "You taking your blood pressure meds?" she asked as she frowned at the reading.

"Yes, Nurse Lockhart," he said, his tone a little lighter than it had been.

"Actually I'm medical student Lockhart at the moment," she teased as she handed him a paper bag.

"Whatever," he mumbled as he took the bag. It only took a few deep breaths for him to gain control of his breathing. "Can I take this off," he asked, motioning to his finger.

"Yeah, O2 is fine. Feel any better?"

"Honestly? Not really."

"What happened?" asked Abby as she handed him a drink of water and took a seat on the stool next to the bed.

"Went up to the roof. Saw the helicopter. Freaked out. End of story," he spit out as he looked down at his shaking hand. He took a sip of water and handed it back to Abby before he spilled it.

"Your first panic attack?" Robert nodded as his pager sounded. It was a message from Elizabeth. She on her way in.

"Would you like me to call Dr. Corday?"

"No, that was her. She's on her way in, she just got paged."

"It's slow out there. Why don't you go into your office and lie down on the couch for a while?"

Robert wanted to protest but he was pretty sure if he didn't relax he would probably end up crumpled on the floor. Abby walked him to his office, steered him towards the couch and tossed the afghan over him.

"I'll check on you in a while."

"I'll be waiting," snorted Robert. Abby chuckled at him and closed the door behind her.

Three hours later Elizabeth wandered down to the ER to find Robert. After searching for ten minutes and not finding him she sought out Abby to see if she had any idea where he was. "Abby, have you seen Robert?" called Elizabeth as she stuck her head Trauma One.

"He's probably in his office. Hold on just a second," said Abby as she motioned for someone to relieve her. She met Elizabeth in the hallway.

"What happened?" asked Elizabeth, knowing instantly something was wrong.

"He had to go up to the roof to meet a helicopter. He had a panic attack. I found him in the ambulance bay. Managed to get him inside. His blood pressure was through the roof and he was pale and shaky. He somehow managed to not pass out and I sent him to his office to relax. That was about 3 hours ago. Haven't seen him since. I imagine he fell asleep."

"Nice way to start his last week here," sighed Elizabeth. "Thanks for helping him."

"No problem. Let me know if I can do anything."

"I will, thanks."

The lights were off in Robert's office and he was curled up on the couch fast asleep. Elizabeth entered the room quietly and sat down on the edge of the couch. She leaned over to kiss Robert's forehead to wake him and to discreetly make sure his wasn't running a fever or anything. He was cool.

"Robert," she whispered as she rubbed his shoulder.

"Lizzie," he muttered as he struggled to wake up completely. "What time is it?"

"A little after 4. How are you feeling?"

"Like an idiot." he mumbled.

"Robert, you had a panic attack. That's nothing to be ashamed of and it's nothing to take lightly."

"I know. It was my first one...and probably not my last."

"Probably not. Now, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he muttered as he sat up and turned on the light. Elizabeth took a minute to get a good look at him. He was still a little pale but looked fine otherwise. Elizabeth tried to get him to go home but he would have no part of that. He went back to work and pushed himself until Elizabeth was ready to go home a little after 9. At his request Elizabeth dropped him at his house and headed home to Ella.

Robert let Gretel out and poured himself a glass of scotch. He took a few sips and immediately heard Elizabeth and Dorothy's voices in his head telling him to eat something before drinking. He set the glass aside and made himself some soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.

Five days later, on the day after Thanksgiving, Elizabeth dropped Robert at work a little before 7 in the morning. It was his last day at County. They had spent a quiet Thanksgiving at his house with Dorothy. Elizabeth hadn't pushed him to talk. He'd made it clear that he was going to spend Friday night alone and although she was far from thrilled about the idea she planned on honoring his request.

Elizabeth kissed him goodbye and went off for a day of Christmas shopping with Ella and Dorothy. Robert's last day was nothing out of the ordinary. There were no surprise parties and no tears shed as he walked through the ER doors for the last time. He hadn't expected anything different. Robert took a taxi home, ate a turkey sandwich and curled up on the couch with the remote and a bottle of beer. Clicking through the channels he found nothing to hold his attention.

Around 8 he came to the conclusion that his decision to spend the night alone had been the wrong one. He called Elizabeth and told her he was on his way over. His call didn't come as a surprise to her at all. She finished getting Ella to bed and was waiting when he arrived.

Robert used his key to let himself in the front door. Elizabeth was in the kitchen putting the kettle on for tea. Tossing his jacket over the banister Robert walked into the kitchen. Elizabeth turned around and smiled sadly. She held out her hand to him and that was all it took for his brave exterior to crack. By the time Elizabeth had crossed the kitchen the tears were flowing down his cheeks. She took him into her arms and held him, rocking him gently as she rubbed his back. As the tea kettle whistled she steered him towards the couch. Robert kicked off his shoes and curled up under the afghan will Elizabeth poured the tea.

"Be careful, it's hot," she said as she handed him the mug. Despite her warning Robert took a sip and ended up burning his tongue. Elizabeth took the mug from him before he managed to spill it down the front of his shirt. "Do you want to talk?" she asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer to her question. Robert just shook his head and closed his eyes. Elizabeth pulled on his shoulder and he settled down with his head in her lap, pressing his face against the soft, worn sweatshirt Elizabeth was wearing. She wiped away the remaining tears and rubbed his back until he drifted off.

Elizabeth flicked on the television and channel surfed for a little while. She found nothing to hold her attention and she ended up dozing off herself. Robert woke an hour or so later stiff and disoriented. He carefully rolled off the couch and stood up slowly. He nudged Elizabeth a little, waking her enough so they could head upstairs and crawl into bed.

***********************

The next morning Ella was up early. Elizabeth's eyes popped open when she heard the little patter of feet on the hardwood floor. "Wob, Wob," called Ella as she made a beeline for Robert's side of the bed. Elizabeth's arm snaked out from under the covers and she caught Ella before she could launch herself at Robert's sleeping form.

"Robert's tired Ella, let him sleep. You can play later," Elizabeth said as she wiped her eyes and threw on her robe. She pulled the quilt back up around Robert and kissed his forehead. Elizabeth made some pancakes and while Ella ate she called Dorothy to ask her if she could run over to Robert's house and let Gretel out. Dorothy offered to bring Gretel over to Elizabeth's house, an idea that got Ella very excited.

Dorothy came by a while later, bringing a very excited dog with her. Ella flew to the front door and was nearly knocked over by Gretel. Dorothy made her way past the pair and headed to the kitchen where Elizabeth pouring some coffee. "Thanks so much for bringing Gretel over. One less thing I have to worry about today."

"It's no problem. I was on my way over to the house to pick up the dry cleaning anyway. So where is he?" Dorothy asked as she took the mug of coffee Elizabeth offered her.

"Sleeping. He wandered over here last night. I was pretty sure that would happen."

"Drunk?" Dorothy asked with a sigh.

"No, he wasn't. He was tired and sad. Didn't say anything and basically cried himself to sleep."

Dorothy shook her head and sighed again. "It's just not fair."

"No, it's not," agreed Elizabeth sadly. "I imagine he's going to want to mope around for a while."

"I'm sure. Keep an eye on him or he'll mope with a bottle of scotch."

"I know. I'll give him 48 hours and then boot him back out into the world. Put him in charge of finishing the Christmas shopping or something like that."

"Yeah, I can just picture Robbie at Toys R Us," chuckled Dorothy as she took the final sip of her coffee. "I should get going. Call me if you need anything. Gretel's food and stuff is on the front porch. And I grabbed some clothes and stuff for him. It's all on the bench in the foyer."

"Thank you so much," said Elizabeth as she gave Dorothy a quick hug of gratitude. Elizabeth took a quick shower and got dressed. She also dressed Ella and set her in front of a DVD while she went back up to check on Robert. He was still asleep but starting to stir. "Hey sleepy head," Elizabeth teased as she sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss Robert.

"What time is it?" he muttered as he ran his hand over his beard.

"About 11. Dorothy dropped Gretel off a little while ago. You plan on getting up this morning?" asked Elizabeth trying to keep the tone in her voice indifferent. Robert merely shrugged his shoulders. "Time for Let's Make a Deal", Elizabeth thought to herself. "You can stay in bed if you want to. You have 48 hours," she said as Gretel bounded up the stairs and came into the room.

"48 hours for what Lizzie?" asked Robert, thoroughly confused as he sat up a little, petted Gretel and reached for the glass of water on the night stand.

"To mope around. Come Monday morning the pity party is over. Until then, feel free to lie around in your pajamas," she said, teasing him just a little as she gave him a playful poke in the chest for emphasis. The teasing fell flat as Robert backed away from her just a little. Elizabeth switched gears instantly and reached for his hand. "Do you want to talk?" she asked as she kicked off her shoes and stretched out next to him. Robert just shook his head and looked out the window, clearly avoiding Elizabeth's gaze. She took a few seconds to get a good look at him. His eyes were still red and puffy from the night before and despite all the sleep he'd gotten he still looked exhausted. Elizabeth didn't know how to help him and she knew the quickest way to get him to shut down was to push him. "I'm going to take Ella and Gretel out for a walk. Why don't you get some more sleep," she suggested as she reached to rub his left shoulder. Robert flinched and Elizabeth pulled her hand away quickly. From experience she took that to mean he was in pain, phantom or otherwise. She leaned over and pulled the heating pad from where it had been shoved under his side of the bed a few nights earlier. She flicked the switch on and silently handed it to him. With a heavy sigh he wrapped it gingerly around his shoulder and settled back down under the quilt. Elizabeth kissed his forehead and tucked him in. "I'll have my phone. Call me if you need me."

"Thank you," Robert whispered as she turned to leave the room. Elizabeth acknowledged it with a sad smile as she shut the door behind her.

Elizabeth and Ella set off with Gretel for a walk to the nearby park. The weather was unseasonably warm and they were looking forward to taking advantage of it before the dreaded Chicago winter set in.

Robert tossed and turned for a while, unable to fall back to sleep. His shoulder was stiff and he was getting the vague uncomfortable feeling that was usually a precursor to full blown episode of phantom pain. The phantom pain didn't happen often, usually once or twice a month. But being a doctor it was really hard for Robert to handle as there wasn't one sure fire thing that made him feel better. Sometimes heat worked, sometimes ice, sometimes nothing really helped much at all.

Finally a little after noon Robert dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He let the hot water run over his shoulder for a long time in the faint hope that the phantom pain would fade away before completely taking hold. It didn't work and by the time he got out of the shower he was about ready to crawl back in bed and hide. He took some Advil hoping to get rid of the headache that had also taken hold. By the time Elizabeth and Ella returned he was miserable. Elizabeth found him in the kitchen pacing around the island, an ice pack against the stump.

"Wob, Wob," yelled Ella as she launched herself at him. Robert winced and dropped the ice pack as he ignored the pain and picked her up.

"How was the park?" he asked as he kissed her cheek and sat down at the kitchen table with Ella in his lap. Elizabeth slipped off Ella's coat and casually took her off his lap and put her in her booster seat. Robert gave her a grateful look and took the ice pack she offered him. Ella told Robert all about their trip to the park while Elizabeth made lunch and Gretel rested her head on his knee.

Ella ate an entire bowl of macaroni and cheese and an apple while Robert just picked at his food. Elizabeth said nothing, living up to her promise of given him 48 hours of moping. She just cleared away the dishes and took Ella up for a nap. Robert loaded the dishwasher, turned on the burner under the teakettle and paced around again. Elizabeth was back down a few minutes later, watching him as he wore a path between the back door and the refrigerator.

"Anything I can do?" she asked from the doorway as she pointed to his left side. Robert just shook his head. "Worse than usual?" asked Elizabeth as she poured the tea.

"Yeah. I don't know why."

"You're physically exhausted, you're emotionally worn out. It's not that surprising it flared up."

Robert nodded in agreement as he slid onto the stool at the island and absently stirred his tea. He and Elizabeth chatted for a while. Not about anything of importance but more to just keep his mind off his pain.

"Well, apparently ice wasn't the answer this time," Robert mumbled as he tossed the ice pack back in the freezer.

"Would you like me to warm up a blanket in the dryer," asked Elizabeth, wanting nothing more than to be able to provide him some kind of comfort.

"Yeah," whispered Robert as he slid off the stool and wandered into the living room. Elizabeth joined him a few minutes later. She gently wrapped one of Ella's blankets around his shoulder. She hesitated before joining him on the couch. Most times when the phantom pain flared he preferred to be alone. But he slid over to give her room on the couch. Elizabeth stretched out the length of the couch and pulled Robert back against her. She planted a kiss on the top of his head and just held him.

Robert did his best to try and relax but it just wasn't working. He sighed in frustration and paced around. Elizabeth decided to just let him be and she headed to do some paperwork that she'd brought home with her the night before. A while later she heard him filling the tub in the master bathroom.

"Come in," he said quietly when she knocked on the bathroom door ten minutes later.

Robert was chin deep in the water, surrounded by the cranky baby bath bubbles. Elizabeth pushed up the sleeves of her sweater and knelt down next to the tub. "Better?" she asked as she swished her hand through the bubbles.

"Could be. You want to come in?" he asked with the first smile of the day. Granted the tub at her house wasn't quite as big as the one at his house but it was a decent size, big enough for the two of them. Elizabeth nodded silently as she pulled her sweater off over her head and slipped out of her jeans. Robert scooted forward so she could climb in behind him. He settled back against Elizabeth as she tentatively reached to rub his shoulder. Flinching at first he eventually managed to relax as Elizabeth gently manipulated the stump, stretching out the muscles. When the water started to grow cold neither one wanted to get out. Robert leaned forward to turn the taps back on to add more hot water. "Think we could just hide in here until Monday morning?" he asked with a little chuckle.

"I think Ella would probably get a little mad," Elizabeth teased. She was thrilled to hear him laugh for the first time in what seemed like weeks.

By the time they had gotten out of the tub and gotten dressed again Ella decided it was time to get up from a shorter than usual nap. Robert read to her for a while and then they colored at the kitchen table while Elizabeth folded a load of laundry and straightened up a few things. Elizabeth suggested they go out to dinner but Robert vetoed that idea. He just didn't feel like going out. She respected the decision and didn't push. Nor did she get on his case when he ate very little dinner. After the meal was done and Ella was down for the night Elizabeth tried to get Robert interested in talking, watching television, playing a game....anything. But her efforts came up short and she eventually went upstairs to read, leaving Robert in the kitchen with a bottle of beer and his thoughts.

Three beers later Robert stumbled up the stairs with Gretel at his heels. He brushed his teeth and went to check on Ella. He covered her up and sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes watching her sleep. It was windy outside and the shadows from the trees danced across the room, flickering over Ella's face. SHe rolled over and opened her eyes just a crack. Muttering Robert's name she reached for his hand, tucking it in her own little hands. It brought a true smile to his face and for just a minute things seemed right.

"Robert," Elizabeth whispered from the doorway. The sound of her voice startled him. He quickly wiped his hand over his eyes before turning around. "Are you ok?" she asked quietly as she walked over to him, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. Robert shook his head and stood up, brushing past Elizabeth on his way to bed. With a sigh she kissed Ella and followed him.

**************************

As predicted sleep didn't come easily to Robert. Elizabeth stayed on her side of the bed, resisting the urge to try and talk to him, to try and reach out to him. While it was clear he didn't want to talk he also didn't want to be alone. He rolled over towards Elizabeth for the third or fourth time and she made a move to at least touch his hand, to make some connection. He allowed her to hold his hand but that was it. He just couldn't handle more than that. He didn't want to fall apart yet again. He was beginning to feel like way too many things would set him off and turn him into an emotional wreck. He knew Elizabeth probably felt the same way. The last thing he wanted was for her to worry about him more. She had been through enough over the past year and a half, he didn't want to cause her anymore pain than he already had.

It was times like this, when nothing seemed to be going right that he wondered if he was being fair to Elizabeth and Ella at all. They had been through so much with Mark, was it fair to inflict another less than healthy man on them. Robert hadn't voiced his fears to anyone. Who was there to tell? Elizabeth was the only one he really talked to about anything important.

It was well after midnight when Elizabeth decided she couldn't take it anymore. She got out of bed, found the bag Dorothy had brought over and opened it, hoping Dorothy had tossed in the bottle of sleeping pills. Unfortunately it wasn't in there. She sighed and headed for the bathroom to see if she had something to help him sleep.

"Robert, sit up for a minute," she said as she got back to her room. He rolled over with an annoyed snort and sat up slowly. "Here, take these," Elizabeth said as she held the pills out for him. "Tylenol PM," she replied, answering his unspoken question. "You need some sleep." He nodded in agreement and took the pills without complaint.

With a tentative hand Elizabeth moved to rub his back. Robert turned his head towards her and gave a small smile, indicating his approval. She slipped her hand under his t-shirt, realizing he was a little warm. Since she'd just given him Tylenol she didn't bother mentioning it to him. With any luck he would fall asleep quickly.

And he did. Elizabeth remained awake a while longer, watching Robert sleep. It was one of her favorite things to do. He looked relaxed and content, something that didn't happen all that often when he was awake. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and curled up next to him.

Robert woke a little after 3 shaking and sweaty from a nightmare and gasping from the sudden onset of the worst phantom pain he'd experienced to date. He sat up and crept out of bed, hoping to leave the room without waking Elizabeth. He managed to make it down the stairs without falling, literally not able to figure out what to do first. He stumbled into the kitchen and swallowed some Advil with a handful of water before splashing some water on his face. With a shaky hand he pulled the freezer door open and rummaged around for the ice pack. He wrapped the ice pack in a dish towel and wandered into the family room. Not bothering with turning the light on Robert sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

That was where Elizabeth found him half an hour later.

She'd woken up alone when the light in the bathroom wasn't on she went searching for Robert. She started with Ella's room, where Robert frequently ended up when he couldn't sleep. Ella was alone in her room, sound asleep. She crept down the stairs quietly in case Robert was asleep on the couch. She found him sitting on the floor in the family room. Gretel was next to him, keeping an eye on him.

"Robert?" she called softly as she flicked on the light. Robert shielded his eyes and she turned the light back off. He was sitting crossed legged with his elbow on his knee and the ice pack pressed against the stump. The pain was evident as she got closer to him and saw that he was gently rocking back and forth. Robert looked up at her for a second and in the moonlight she saw the tears in his eyes. Elizabeth knelt next to him and put her arms around him. She held him as she rubbed his back and tried to comfort him. "Just breathe Robert, don't hold your breath," she whispered.

"I can't," he muttered, the exhaustion and misery evident in his voice.

"Robert, look at me," said Elizabeth as she moved in front of him. "Holding your breath makes it worse," she said crossing her legs, mirroring his postion. She reached over and lifted his chin up. "Breath with me," she said as she kept her hand on his chin so he couldn't look away. Robert forced himself to try to follow Elizabeth's lead eventually relaxing enough to take some deep breaths. "Better?" she asked as she wiped the corners of his eyes with her thumbs. Robert nodded and slid back a little to lean against the couch. He reached for the ice pack he'd dropped earlier. "Did you take something?" asked Elizabeth.

"Yeah, Advil."

"How long ago?"

"An hour or so," he muttered as he pushed himself up onto his knees and moved to stretch out on the couch. Elizabeth got him a drink of water and a wiped his face with a cool damp cloth.

"You're a little warm," she pointed out as she put the cool cloth on his forehead.

"I know. Probably that bug Ella had earlier in the week," mumbled Robert as he closed his eyes and let the exhaustion overtake him. "Thank you Lizzie," he muttered before completely falling asleep.

"You're welcome," she whispered as she kissed him softly and covered him up. She stayed for a few minutes to watch him and to make sure he was out. With one last glance over her shoulder she returned to bed, hoping to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

**********************

Sunday dawned with wind and a sky that threatened to downpour at any minute. A typical day in Chicago. As Elizabeth woke up she realized Robert had come back to bed sometime during the wee hours of the morning. She rolled over to get a look at him. He was curled up in a ball sound asleep. A quick kiss to his forehead told her he was still a little warm. She left him to sleep and went downstairs to let Gretel out before it began to rain.

Ella slept late also, leaving Elizabeth to ponder her morning coffee and the Sunday crossword puzzle in peace and quiet. Gretel curled up at her feet and promptly fell back to sleep. THe puzzle proved a little too challenging to conquer on only one cup of coffee so Elizabeth pushed it aside and stared out the window at the rain that had just started.

SHe thought about Robert and where things were heading between them. She wasn't sure where things were going but she had to admit she was having fun. Elizabeth knew she was in love with him and she was pretty sure he felt the same way. But they hadn't had any big declaration to that effect. They were both enjoying things the way they were. Neither felt the need to push the relationship along any quicker. They both had keys to each other's houses and a stash of clothes in each other's guest room. There was a standing date for Saturday night, most weeks that meant pizza at CHUCK E CHEESE with Ella.

While Elizabeth was in the kitchen mulling over their relationship Robert was upstairs starting to stir. The rain woke him up and he was still curled up in the quilt. Much to his surprise he felt ok. He had been sure he would wake up feeling like crap after the night he had. But he felt good. He pulled Elizabeth's pillow to him and hugged it. The scent of her perfume lingered on it and he inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent.

Like Elizabeth he was unsure of where things were heading but he was having fun living in the present. At times he thought he wanted more but he didn't want to push Elizabeth. All three were enjoying the relationship, four if you include Gretel who was having the time of her life. Robert had talked to Dorothy recently about the state of his relationship with Elizabeth. She had urged him to take things slow, even if that meant putting on hold the question he wanted to ask her.

It wasn't the BIG question, it was much too soon for that, but it was a major one. Robert had been toying with the idea of asking Elizabeth to move in with him. Other than Dorothy's suggestion that he wait Robert himself wasn't completely sure he was ready to ask her either. He went back on forth on his feelings about it. The thought of coming home to Elizabeth and Ella every night was a wonderful thought. But certain aspects of his life he wasn't so ready to share, the frequent nightmares, the phantom pain and his fear that the first panic attack would not be his last. Sure, Elizabeth had seen all of those things and helped him deal with them but he wasn't sure if it was right to subject her to that part of his life on a full-time basis.

In a nutshell, he was scared. And he wasn't the only one.

"Robert, are you awake?" Elizabeth's voice floating up the stairs.

"No," he yelled back with a chuckle. Elizabeth pushed the door open and went in to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm making a change," he muttered cryptically ten minutes later when he wandered out of the bathroom.

"You've already quit your job and taken a new one. What else are you going to change?" she teased as she finally turned around to face him. Robert was standing there wearing only a pair of boxers and his untied bathrobe, in his hand was his beard trimmer. "Shaving off the beard?" she asked with surprise in her voice. He'd grown the beard over the summer because it was just easier than shaving one handed every morning.

"Yeah, I've had enough of it. Can you help me? I don't think I can do it myself."

"Sure, let me go check on Ella first."

Ten minutes later Robert sat on the counter in the bathroom with a towel around his neck. Elizabeth stood in front of him in between his knees, beard trimmer in her hand and a smirk on her face. "Lizzie, just the beard, no going for the juggler," teased Robert as Elizabeth flicked the switch on with her thumb. She trimmed as much as she could. "Would you like me to do the rest?" she asked as she picked up the razor.

"Well, you've managed not to cut me so far, guess you can use the razor," smirked Robert as he handed her the can of shaving cream.

"Side burns short enough?” asked Elizabeth as she took a step back to admire her handiwork. Robert glanced in the mirror.

"A little shorter," he said as he turned around. When Elizabeth finished he slid off the counter to look in the mirror. Elizabeth stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She kissed his smooth cheek and caught his eye in the mirror. They shared a smile as Gretel and Ella bounded into the room. Ella pointed at Robert's face as he picked her up and set her on the counter. She rubbed his cheeks and the top of his head as she giggled. As Elizabeth stood there looking at the sight before her one word came to mind, family.

TBC

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