Advice from an Unlikely Source
The motorcade had returned hours earlier and Donna had tried to check in
with Toby but Josh had sucked her into one final conversation about the Bill of
Rights, Connecticut and how many
weeks until Spring training started.
Finally it was clear to Josh that Donna was no longer paying
attention. "Why don't you go, we'll
call it an early night."
"Josh, it's after 11."
"Oh," he muttered with a shrug of his shoulders as he tapped at
his watch as if that action would cause it to miraculously give the right time.
"You'd better leave too. Don't
want to get sucked into another round of Lassiter trivia," teased Donna as
she stood up. Josh laughed and gave her
a dimpled grin as she turned to leave. Donna
packed up her things and picked up her coat.
She glanced down at her desk and looked at her notes from the past few
days, notes on Owen Lassiter, his wife, the Lassiter Library and all the small
details that went along with honoring a fallen President. She had enjoyed the assignment and she
enjoyed working with Toby.
Donna and Toby's was an interesting relationship. She held a special place in Toby's heart and
he held one in hers. She was one of the
few who got to see his softer side. It
had been Toby who told her about Josh.
He would never forget the look on her face, the disbelief, the lack of
understanding and finally the realization of the situation. The look in her eyes was something he would
carry with him for the rest of his life, a memory etched on his heart along
with the look on Josh's face when he'd found him slumped and bleeding.
Toby would also never forget Donna's reaction to the news of President
Bartlet's MS. She was probably the only
person to ask how the President was feeling.
She wasn't angry like the rest of them had been; she was concerned and
worried about Bartlet as a man not as the President. Toby admired her for that ability. As a result of having told Donna too much bad
news Toby was a little protective of her. He saw the way she'd grown so much
over the years, the talents others were beginning to see were ones he'd seen
all along.
Donna reached down to close her notebook and turn out her desk lamp. She started to head for the door but she
turned instead towards the Communications Bullpen. The blinds on Toby's windows were closed but
she could see a faint light shining under the door. After a second's worth of debate she knocked
on the door and waited for him to answer.
Not getting any response she tried again a little louder. "Toby, you awake in there?" she
called softly after hearing him groan a little.
"No," he muttered bringing a weary smile to her face. She opened the door and slipped inside. Toby was on his couch, shoes off, tie missing
and shirt tails half hanging out.
Pathetic was the first thing that came to Donna's mind. The second thing that came to her mind was
that he really looked like he needed a friend.
"You ok?" asked Donna as she dropped her coat on the arm of the
couch and curled up in the chair.
"Just great," slurred Toby.
Donna glanced at the coffee table; there was a half empty bottle of Jack
Daniels and no glass, not a good sign.
She stood back up and pulled a glass out of the bottom drawer of Toby's
desk. She poured herself a couple of
fingers worth of JD and settled back down in the chair. They drank in silence for a few minutes. Donna was sipping from the glass and Toby
drinking from the bottle, trying not to spill the amber liquid down the front
of him.
"I was drinking, you know, on the plane" confessed Toby, not
surprising Donna in the least.
"Kind of figured," said Donna with a grin. "So, how was it?" she finally asked
as she reached over to take the cigar out of Toby's hand before he could try
and light it.
"Hey," he muttered as he made a half hearted attempt to take the
cigar back, giving up just before losing his balance and tumbling onto the
floor. "It was...it was sad. I mean, I never met the guy, I didn't agree
with much of what he believed in and I think his wife's a complete nut
case. But it was sad. The honor guard, the bugler, the flag being
folded up, it was sad."
A sarcastic comment died on Donna's lips before she had a chance to say it
aloud. She downed the last of her drink
and reached over to take the bottle out of Toby's hand. She set it on the desk out of his reach after
pouring herself a little more. With a
wave of her hand she got Toby to sit up and give her room on the couch. "What's wrong?" she asked as she
patted his hand. Toby turned to look at
her and just shrugged his shoulders. She knew he was upset about something but
like most of the male members of Bartlet's staff he needed to have his feelings
pried out with a crowbar. And at half past eleven Donna didn't know if she had
the energy to do that. But she decided
to give it one try. "Toby,
talk," she said as she nudged him with her elbow.
"It was sad. Nothing
more," he whispered as he took the glass out of Donna's hand and drained
it in a single gulp.
"Toby, what's wrong?" she asked taking her glass back and putting
it on the coffee table. She settled back
on the couch, feet on the coffee table, mirroring his posture. "Life is short, don't let things slip
away," he whispered in a tone that was completely and utterly out of character
for him. She quickly realized the
funeral of Owen Lassiter had little to do with the way Toby was feeling. On impulse she reached over and grabbed his
hand, tucking it in hers.
"And what things would I be letting slip away?" she asked, not
completely sure where Toby was going. If
it were CJ, Margaret or even Leo talking she would have been sure where the
conversation was headed but with Toby she wasn't sure. He didn't seem like the type to pay much
attention to the office gossip.
"Don't make me say it," he chuckled as he squeezed her hand. "I may be cynical and grouchy but I'm
not blind." Donna nodded, unable to
speak at that moment. She couldn't quite
wrap her mind around the fact that Toby Ziegler was basically giving her advice
on her relationship with Josh.
"Toby does this have anything to do with Andi," Donna asked,
going out on a very short limb. Her
answer was what she expected, a sigh and a shrug of the shoulders. Getting Toby to talk was proving to be a
bigger task than she was up to at nearly midnight. Unlike Josh, who got very chatty when he
drank Toby just got sullen and withdrawn.
Without conversation or the bottle to keep him occupied Donna watched with
vague amusement as Toby struggled to stay awake. They sat there for a while in silence, their
hands still loosely clasped and resting on Toby's knee. Somewhere a clock struck midnight.
"Sleep," Donna whispered as she stood up. She managed to ease Toby back down on the
couch and cover him up with the blanket that was draped over the chair. Moving his shoes out of the way and picking
up his suit jacket off the floor she moved to hang it on the coat rack. She shook it out and a picture slipped from
the pocket and fluttered to the floor.
It was a picture of Toby and the twins. The image showed Toby sitting on
the floor, probably at Andi's house. He
had Huck in his arms and Molly resting against his bent knees. The look on his face was pure pride Donna
thought to herself as she tucked the photo back into his pocket.
Donna had only seen him with the twins a few times but there was something
about the way his whole demeanor changed from gruff to loving in a single
moment. It was a side of Toby few people
saw and Donna felt honored that she had seen it and she hoped to see more of it
in the future.
With a sigh she turned out the light and reached for the doorknob. On a whim she walked over to the couch and
leaned over to drop a kiss on Toby's forehead.
"Thanks for everything this week," he whispered, startling her
as she turned to leave.
"I thought you were sleeping," she said as Toby rolled onto his
side to give her room to perch on the couch next to him.
"Remember what I said," he whispered. "He really does love you. He's scared, but he loves you." Toby words rendered Donna speechless and more
than a little emotional. Toby reached up
to wipe away a few stray tears.
"You just remember what you said too," teased Donna as she poked
him in the chest for emphasis. Toby
nodded and closed his eyes again. Donna pulled the blanket up around him and
kissed him again. As she headed for her
car she replayed Toby's words in her mind.
She was glad to know she wasn't the only one who was both in love and
scared to death.
