Everything Will Be OK

I take Josh by the arm and lead him out to the street.

"Josh, are you OK, you kind a spaced out on me for a second there.”

"I'm fine, I just want to get this hospital visit over with. Let's take my car."

"Fine with me but you are not driving, give me your keys."

He hands them over without a word. This is not good. Josh not making a wisecrack about my driving. We walk in silence, side by side with my hand on his elbow kind of leading him along through the parking lot. We arrive at his car; I unlock and open his door. I take his backpack off of his shoulder and toss it on the back seat. I motion for him to sit and he does so with a sigh. I climb in the driver's seat and take a good look at Josh. He is curled up against the passenger door with his eyes closed. He looks like a lost child. I just want to hold him tight and tell him that everything will be OK. How could I not have noticed everything that he has been going through? Sure, I saw that he was tired and more frazzled than usual. But until he had the major explosion in the Oval Office a few days ago I had no idea the pain he was in. No one did. I reach over and squeeze his hand. He turns to me and opens his eyes and tries to smile. He is not successful and a single tear rolls down his cheek. I wipe it away and hand him a tissue. I back out of the parking space and head for the hospital.

Leo must have called ahead to the hospital because we are taken right away into an exam room. A nurse comes in and asks the usual questions. Josh is in no mood to talk so he hands me his wallet and I am able to answer most of the questions myself and hand over his insurance cards and ID. The doctor comes in and I try to leave the room.

"Please stay, Donna."

"OK."

The doctor is quick with the exam. Josh's cut on his hand isn't too serious. The doctor is worried about infection so he writes a prescription for some antibiotics and the nurse wraps up his hand. Through all of this Josh is pitifully quiet. I have the feeling that Leo clued the doctor in to more than just the cut on Josh's hand. A few instructions and some quick paperwork and we are on our way.

"Josh, where do you want to go"?

"Just drop me at my place and take my car home. I'll get it tomorrow."

"Not a chance, I'm not leaving you alone."

"Donna, it's Christmas Eve, you shouldn't have to baby-sit me, and don't you have any other plans?"

"No, not really. How about we go to your place. You'll be more comfortable there."

"Fine."

"You hungry? Want to stop and pick something up on the way?"

"Not really, if you want to get something that's fine with me."

"I'm fine, I'm sure I can find something at your place."

"I wouldn't count on that."

The ride back to Josh's apartment goes quickly and quietly. I pull into his parking space and turn off the car. I hand him his keys and reach into the back for his backpack. He looks so exhausted that I just throw it over my shoulder and carry it myself. Josh unlocks the door and walks in, takes a few steps and crashes on the couch. I notice the window has been replaced. I hang his backpack on the hook on the back of the door. I toss my coat on the chair and kick off my shoes. I take a seat next to Josh on the couch and help him take his coat and tie off.

"Why don't you go change, I'll go in the kitchen and make some tea. Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"I'm fine. I'll leave some clothes for you to change into in the bathroom."

I go to the kitchen and make the tea. I glance at the clock, 9:15. I get one of the pills from the hospital and a glass of water to give to Josh. When I get back to the living room he is sitting on the couch, leaning over with his head in his hands. He doesn't look up when I sit down next to him. I place a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"Here, take this pill. Do you need anything else"?

"There's some ibuprofen on top of the fridge, I could use some."

I come back with the pills.

"Thanks."

Josh sighs, leans back into the couch, puts his feet on the coffee table and closes his eyes.

"I'm going to go get changed, yell if you need anything."

I don't get a response but I do get a little smile, just enough to show those dimples.

When I get back out Josh is in the same place, I don't think he's moved at all only his eyes are opened now and he's staring at the ceiling. I whisper his name twice, trying not to startle him. He seems so far away. I sit down next to him. I turn myself sideways on the couch, tuck me feet under me and face him. I reach over and smooth back his curls.

"Can I get anything for you, do something for you, shut up and go into another room, perhaps?"

"No, I don't need anything and please don't go anywhere."

He looks at me with tears in his eyes and tries to say something.

I put my fingers over his lips.

"It's OK, we don't have to talk now."

Josh leans over again and puts his head back in his hands. I rub his back and hand him a tissue. His shoulders start to shake and he collapses into my arms. I move back on the couch and stretch out my legs pulling Josh close to me. His head is resting on my chest. I kiss the top of his head and wipe away his tears. It takes a good 20 minutes of sobbing for him to start to calm down. I hand him some tissues and he blows his nose and wipes his face. I grab the glass of water and he drinks it in a big gulp. I go to get some more water. When I get back Josh is curled up on the couch under the afghan. He lifts his pillow up and motions for me to sit. I do and he puts the pillow in my lap and curls back up. This time I start to say something and he silences me. I stroke his hair until he falls asleep. Sitting here with my boss/best friend lying in my lap was not the Christmas I had planned on but there is nowhere in the world I would rather be. I am almost dozing myself when the phone rings. Josh doesn't even stir. Now I know why calling him in the morning does nothing to get him up.

"Josh Lyman's residence. Oh, hello Mr. President. Josh is sleeping now. I can wake him. OK, I'll tell him you called. Merry Christmas to you too."

Josh still hasn't stirred so I slide off of the couch. I sit on the coffee table and watch him for a minute. Even in his sleep he looks lost. I kiss his forehead, turn out the light and head for the guest room. I suddenly realize just how tired I am.

Something wakes me and I struggle to focus on the clock. It's glowing red numbers read 2:35. I'm not sure what woke me. I stumble out into the living room. Josh isn't on the couch. I hear him in the bathroom, sobbing.

"Josh, everything OK?"

"Just great, Donna."

The door isn't shut all the way and I can see him sitting on the edge of the bathtub. I go in and sit next to him, putting my arm around his shoulders.

"You should have woken me up."

"Why, so you can see me fall apart for the millionth time this month?"

"Josh, you're exhausted, it is two thirty in the morning, go lay on the bed."

He sighs and goes into the bedroom. I'm not sure if I should follow him or go back to the guest room. Things are starting to border on confusing.

"Donna, can you get me some more water?"

"Sure."

Confusion solved, I can't very well get him a glass of water without going into the bedroom. It's not like I've never been in here before. I spent a lot of time here after the shooting. The shooting, just when I thought we were all getting past it. Reality hits once again. I get the water and go into Josh's room. He is curled up on the bed on top of the blankets facing away from me. I put the water on the nightstand and sit next to him.

"Here, get under the blankets." as I pull them out from under him and cover him up.

"Thanks, would you stay for a while."

"Sure, did something happen out in the living room."

"I heard a siren, I couldn't go back to sleep, I kept hearing it in my head, long after it was over. I went into the bathroom and just couldn't hold it together anymore. I didn't mean to wake you up"

"Josh, it's OK."

I rest my hand on his side and he grabs it and pulls it to his chest. He moves over and I lay down next to him. He never lets go of my hand. I just hold him until we both fall asleep.

The bright sun streaming in the windows wakes me in the morning. Josh is still sound asleep, his head on my shoulder, and arm thrown across my body. I roll out from underneath him and sit up. I go into the bathroom and then in the kitchen to make some coffee. I start to turn on the radio but think that maybe that isn't such a great idea. I hear Josh go into the bathroom while I check the fridge for something to make to eat. There's not much there but I do manage to find a few eggs and some cheese. I scramble the eggs and add some cheese to them in the pan as Josh comes into the room. He plops down in the nearest chair, rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, Joshua." as I put a mug of coffee in front of him.

"Morning, Donna. What smells so good and where did you find food?"

"Believe it or not, in your fridge. Which is pretty empty, you should think about going to the store once in a while, Josh"

"Yes, Donna. Look, uh, thanks for last night. I mean, thanks for staying with me and well, you know, holding me until I fell asleep."

I put a plate of food on the table.

"You’re welcome, now eat before it gets cold."

I am starving so I eat quickly. Josh is just picking at his food, getting that lost look on his face again. I go to the sink to wash my plate. I turn back to Josh and he's just staring at his food. I sit down next to him, take the fork from him and push his plate back. I put my finger under his chin and lift his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I was just thinking about the President. What should I do, apologize, ignore the whole thing, grovel at his feet in Latin?"

"Well, considering he speaks Latin and you don't, I would just apologize. I'm really sure he will understand. He may be the President but he is still just a man who got shot too."

"I'll call him later, by the way, Merry Christmas."

"Thanks, I'm going to go take a shower and get ready to go. Eat something, please."

"Sure, I'll try."

I shower quickly and change back into my clothes from last night. I leave Josh's sweats and my towel on the counter in the bathroom. When I get back to the living room Josh is sitting on the couch channel surfing while finishing his toast and coffee.

"Nice to see you eat for a change. Anything good on?"

"Just the Christmas parade, wanna watch with me?"

"Sure."

We sit side by side on the couch with our feet on the coffee table. The Christmas parade comes on and the marching band starts playing. I glance over at Josh to see how he is going to react. He turns to me and gives me a big smile; complete with those dimples I have come to love.

"I'll be fine."

"I know Josh, everything will be OK."

He puts his head on my shoulder and we watch in silence. I can't think of a more perfect Christmas.

THE END

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