Forging the Bonds of Friendship
Abby glanced around to see who was lurking about the ADMIT desk as she
logged onto the computer and pulled up the surgical schedule for the day. She quickly scanned it looking for Dr.
Dubenko's name. She felt sort of foolish
doing it. After all, why should she care
about someone who had propositioned her in the ambulance bay because he was
afraid of what lie ahead of him.
But she did care. Before their
awkward moment in the rain they'd started to forge some sort of strange
combination of friendship and mentor/student relationship. Which of course was strange because Abby
wasn't a student anymore, but as every doctor knows, there is always more to
learn. They had gone out for a bite to
eat a few times after work and were known to grab a cup of coffee when they had
a few moments.
"Frank, I'll be back in a little while," she called over her
shoulder as she logged off.
"Going upstairs to see if you can catch Dubenko before he goes under,
grant him his final wish," Frank snorted.
"God, is nothing a secret around here?" Abby muttered to herself
as he hit the elevator button.
She exited the elevator on the 4th floor as she tried in vain to do
something with her hair, but lacking a brush she settled on letting it down and
shaking it out a little before putting the scrunchie around her wrist.
"Lucien Dubenko," she inquired at the desk. She was pointed towards the holding room at
the end of the hall, the last stop before the OR.
Abby headed for his room, knocking once but not getting a response. As she opened the door she found out
why. Lucien had clearly been given a
pre-op sedative and was not exactly what one would call lucid. "Hey," she said softly as she
closed the door behind her. He lolled
his head in her direction and gave her a drunken grin when he recognized her
voice.
"Dr. Lockhart, nice of you to come see me off," he slurred as he
reached blindly towards the side table for his glasses. Abby helped him put them on and pulled up a
chair next to the bed. "Had a
little Versed," he announced unnecessarily.
"A little?" Abby asked with a smirk.
"OK, a double dose," he admitted.
"I was a little freaked."
"And now?"
"Still freaked but I don't care all that much," he whispered as
he struggled to stay part of the conversation.
"Dr. Dubenko, time to go," the orderly announced from the door.
"Yeah, give me a minute," he said sleepily. "You'll stop by later?" he asked
Abby.
"Uh, sure, I guess," she said, a little surprised at his request.
"Good," Lucien whispered as he gave Abby's hand a quick
squeeze. The gesture caught her a little
off guard and she pulled away faster than she had intended. He handed her his glasses and called for the
orderly. Abby held the door and watched
until the stretcher rounded the corner.
She put his glasses in his bin and headed back to work. She thought about asking the nurse to call
her when he was out of surgery but she didn't feel like incurring the
inevitable teasing and strange looks if someone had to relay the information to
her via Frank.
*****************
The ER got slammed by an overturned school bus and a gang fight on the
EL. Abby and the rest of the staff
bounced from patient to patient for hours.
By the time the last kid had been sent to the OR, Abby was in dire need
of some coffee. Her shift had ended
almost an hour earlier. She went into
the lounge poured a cup of coffee and called up to check on Lucien. She found out he was already out of recovery
and settling into a private room.
"Frank, I'm leaving," she yelled as she headed for the elevator.
"Door's the other way," he yelled back.
"Shut up," she called over her shoulder.
The secretary at the unit desk directed Abby to his room. The shades were closed and the overhead light
off. Dr. Dubenko was doing his best to
curl up into a ball on the bed, not an easy feat for someone a few hours post
surgery. His glasses were on the rolling table next to the bed and he had a small
pink basin on the bed next to him.
"Let me guess, you're wishing you took the epidural," Abby teased
gently as she walked into the room.
"Shut up," he muttered as he blindly reached for his
glasses. Abby brushed back his wild
curls and put his glasses on for him.
She straightened the pillow behind his head as he carefully rolled onto
his back. "God that hurts," he
groaned as he pressed his hand against the bandage. "Guess you don't have to ask which kind
of incision," he teased.
"I wasn't going to ask," Abby assured him as she pulled up a
chair. "I could have always just
taken a peek at your chart," she teased.
"You want some ice chips, ginger ale?" she offered.
"Ice chips, I guess," he whispered as his eyes slid closed and he
tried to keep his stomach under control.
He swallowed hard and tried to will back the inevitable.
"Deep breaths," Abby coached as she slipped a folded towel under
his head. "Do you want the bed up a little more?" He just nodded without opening his eyes. Abby put the head of the bed up just a little
and he turned back on his side as best he could. She rubbed his back with one hand and held
the basin with the other as he got sick.
Having eaten nothing all day the painful dry heaving kicked in
quickly. He eventually calmed down
enough to wipe his mouth on the towel.
Abby slipped the towel out from under his head and tossed it in the bin in
the hall. She exchanged the basin for a fresh one and got a cup of ice. "Do you want to try to get some
down?" she asked as she held up the spoon.
Lucien shook his head and curled up miserably. "Did they given you
antiemetic?" Lucien nodded. "Whatever it was, it's not working,"
she smirked as she brushed back his hair a bit.
"That your professional opinion, Dr. Lockhart?" he gasped as he
motioned for the basin once again.
"Take it easy," Abby whispered as he coughed and gagged
again. Abby reached over him and hit the
call button.
"Compazine not working, Dr. Dubenko?" the nurse asked
unnecessarily.
"Good guess," he groaned.
"Does he have an order for anything else?" Abby asked as he
pushed away the basin and reached for the cup of water.
"I think so, let me check," the nurse said as she got out of the
room as fast as possible.
"Already making friends with the nursing staff, I see," smirked
Abby as she handed him the cup of water.
"Rinse and spit," she suggested as she handed him a second
empty cup.
The nurse came back with a dose of Kytril and something for pain. She
quickly checked his vitals and pulled the sheet back a little to check the
incision. Abby went into the bathroom to
get a damp wash cloth to wipe Lucien's face as the nurse did that. With a nod in Abby's direction, the nurse
left them alone, closing the door behind her.
"You always have this reaction to general anesthesia?" Abby asked
as she sat down next to the bed and wiped his face with one of the damp
cloths. She folded the other one,
brushed back his unruly curls and set it on his forehead.
"Never had it before," he said.
"I have all my original parts, thank you very much," he teased
with a small smile. "Let me try a
little of that," he motioned towards the can of ginger ale on the
table.
"Ice?"
"Yeah."
Abby got a cup of ice and poured a little of the soda for him. He managed to get down a few sips before his
stomach began to protest. He curled up
again and reached to flip through the television channels.
"You should go home," he said a little while later as Abby tried
in vain to keep from yawning.
"You'll be ok?" she asked.
"I don't know about 'ok' but I'm going to be out in about 5
minutes. Things are getting a little
fuzzy," he admitted as he turned off the television.
"Yeah, everything should kick in pretty soon. Don't be stubborn about the pain meds,"
Abby said with a little edge of warning in her voice. Lucien gave her a little "who me?"
smirk to which she responded with a glare of her own as she stood up to leave.
"Cold," Lucien muttered as he struggled to pull the covers up a
little.
"How about a blanket from the warmer?" Abby offered.
"Sounds good," he whispered.
"Hey Abby," he called when she was almost out the door.
"What, you need something else?"
"No. In case I'm asleep when
you get back, thanks for coming up," he said tiredly.
"You're welcome. I'll check on
you tomorrow," she assured him.
Lucien waved a little and closed his eyes.
True to his prediction, he was sound asleep when she got back. Abby tucked the warm blanket around him,
straightened the IV line and left a full cup of ginger ale and ice with a straw
on the rolling table. She went out to
the nurses' station to grab a piece of paper and a pen, so she could leave her
home, cell and pager numbers by his phone.
*******************
Abby didn't hear from Lucien that night and she hoped he'd just fallen
asleep. She wasn't on the next day and
didn't bother setting her alarm but she was still up with the sun anyway. After a leisurely breakfast and a trip to the
food store to stock her bare cabinets, she called to check on Lucien. He sounded better than he had the night
before but still had a drugged edge to his voice. Abby said she would come by in a while and
bring some lunch for him, to save him from the hospital fare.
A little before noon she got to
the hospital. She pulled into a parking
space and went around to use the front entrance to the hospital, not wanting to
run into Frank in the ER, or anyone else for that matter. Not that she had anything to hide or defend;
she was simply going to visit a sick friend.
A socially inept, slightly strange, surgeon who suddenly found himself
on the other end of the scalpel.
She found Lucien awake and reading the newspaper when she arrived.
"Well, you look about ten times better than last night," Abby
announced from the doorway.
"Well, I only feel about 5 times better," he smirked. "But I haven't puked in hours and I
think everything else is flowing well," he said as he pointed towards the
foley bag hanging from the side of the bed.
"Yeah, that sort of falls into the "too much information"
category," Abby teased as she took off her coat and threw it over the
chair. "Here," she said as she
handed him a brown bag.
"Contraband solid food, I hope," he said as he opened the bag.
"You're less than 24 hours post-op, don't expect a burger and
fries," Abby warned.
"Well, it's slightly better than hospital food and I suppose it is the
thought that counts," he muttered as he pulled out a bottle of Snapple,
some chicken soup and a cup of chocolate pudding.
"I'll take that as a 'thank you'," Abby smirked as she opened the
iced tea for him. "How did you sleep last night?"
"Took Percocet and an Ambien, I slept just fine," Lucien said as
he opened the soup. He ate about half of
it and drank a little iced tea while Abby worked on the crossword puzzle from
the newspaper. She read the clues aloud,
giving him a chance to help.
"Not as hungry as you thought?" Abby asked as she pointed to the
half finish meal. He just shook his head a little and pushed the rolling table
away. "You ok?"
"I think so. Just a little
stiff....and not in a good way," he muttered. Abby just rolled her eyes at him.
"Been out of bed yet?"
"No, tried earlier this morning but I almost passed out."
"Ah, well, how about you sit with your legs hanging over the
side. Take it slow, see what
happens," Abby suggested.
With a little help from Abby, Lucien managed to sit up straight and dangle
his legs over the side.
"Doing ok?" Abby asked as she took in his slightly pale
face. Lucien shrugged his shoulders and
took a few deeps breaths. "Here,
drink a little," she said a she handed him a can of ginger ale.
"I'm ok," he said with more conviction in his voice than he'd had
in two days.
"Good. How about I track down a
wheelchair and we'll bust out of here for a little while?"
"Best offer I've had all day.
Actually the only offer I've had all day," he teased.
Abby found a wheelchair down the hall and brought it in. By the time she got back to his room, Lucien
was already trying to stand on his own.
"Whoa, slow down," Abby warned as she reached to steady
him. "Uh, do you...are you
wearing..?"
"Yes, Abby, I'm wearing underwear.
Wouldn't want you to get a glimpse of what you're missing," he
smirked.
"Good God," Abby rolled her eyes at him. She got him settled in the chair with all the
tubes and lines tucked safely away and a blanket in his lap. "Ready?"
"Yeah," he said with a grin as he ran his hand through his hair.
"The hair's pretty much a lost cause there," Abby teased as she
did what she could to tame it a little.
"Maybe I'll cut it," Lucien mused.
"I kind of like it," Abby said as she opened the door as pushed
the chair out into the hall.
They took a few laps around the unit and sat in the lounge at the end of
the hall for a while. After a shorter
period of time than he had hoped, Lucien realized sitting upright was getting a
little painful.
"How about we get you back in bed?" Abby suggested when she
realized he was fading fast.
"See, I knew you really wanted to get me into bed," Lucien
teased. His voice, however, was rather
flat, alerting Abby to the fact he was indeed in more pain than he let on. So she ignored his comment and pushed him
back towards his room.
"You look rather miserable," Abby commented as she got him tucked
back into bed.
"More bored than anything else," he muttered as he picked up the
newspaper, even though he'd already read the entire thing.
"You want me to leave?" Abby asked as she motioned towards the
door.
"No," he replied quickly as he tossed the paper aside. "I need a favor."
"What kind of favor?" Abby asked with eyebrows raised and a smirk
planted on her face.
"Nothing like that," Lucien said with a little smile that didn't
quite ring true. "I have a pile of
paperwork sitting on my desk in my office."
"Work? Are you sure you're up
for that?" Abby asked.
"I'm not 'up' for anything else," he muttered under his breath.
"Lucien," Abby warned, making it clear she wasn't going to sit by
and watch him throw himself a little pity party.
"Fine, can you get the paperwork?" he asked as he took off his
glasses and rubbed tiredly at his eyes.
"I will, if you promise to rest a little before trying to tackle
it," Abby negotiated.
"Not tired," he said, protesting her offer. He folded his arms across his chest and
lowered his chin down a little, both effectively pouting and avoiding Abby's
eyes. Abby carefully sat down on the edge
of the bed, trying to avoid jostling it too much. Lucien still stubbornly avoided looking at
her. Abby quickly realized there was
probably something more to his mood than boredom. She reached out to tip his chin up and get
him to look at her. Doing so gave her a
big clue.
"You're a little warm," she said softly as she moved her hand
from his chin and pressed her palm against his cheek and then his
forehead. Lucien just nodded and swiped
at his eyes. Before Abby could reach for
the call button, the nurse came in for a scheduled check of his vitals. "He's running a fever," Abby
announced as she stood up.
"I think she would have figured that out," Lucien muttered as he
turned his head to allow the nurse, who looked like she would rather be
undergoing root canal, to take his temperature.
"100.7," she announced to the room in general. She took the rest of his vitals, checked the
incision and basically left the room as quickly as she could. She returned a minute later with his meds,
again leaving as quickly as possible.
"You're getting quite the reputation around here," Abby teased,
hoping that teasing was the way to go.
It was as Lucien laughed a little before collapsing against the pillow.
"OK," he said with a sigh.
"OK, what?"
"OK, I'm ready to admit I could use some rest," Lucien said as he
took off his glasses and put the head of the bed down a little. "But you're still getting the
paperwork," he added as Abby set the glasses aside.
"Where is it?" Abby asked with a sigh, knowing he wasn't going to
drop the subject.
"Right in the middle of the desk, can't miss it," he said as he
reached into the drawer of the bedside table to find his office key.
"OK, I'll be back. I'm going to
go run down to the ER. I'm sure I have
paperwork I could be doing too."
"And you're going to hang out and do paperwork while I sleep?"
Lucien teased.
"Someone has to keep an eye on you," she teased right back.
"Fair enough. Hit the light on
the way out," he said with a grin.
Abby turned off the light and closed the door behind her while Lucien did
his best to curl up a little. She made
her way to his office, unlocked the door and stepped inside. It took her a few seconds to find the light
switch. As the light flooded the room
she just shook her head. She was quickly
realizing that although Lucien was a brilliant surgeon, he was a complete pack
rat, in addition to quite possibly the most socially inept guy she'd met in a
long, long time. Both traits gave clues
to why he was single.
The stack of files was right in the middle of his desk, between a stack of
video tapes and a full sized model of the human heart. Abby cleared the pile of 'stuff' off his
chair and sat down for a minute, feeling a bit voyeuristic as she did. She looked around at all of the things in the
room. The room was a testament to how Lucien
seemed to go through life, barely in control, on the edge of chaos. Abby was sure there was some order to the
room, probably known only to him and possibly his long time secretary but she
just wasn't seeing it.
With a sigh she pushed herself to her feet, put the files in a file box she
found on the floor in the corner and started to leave the room. Her eyes landed on his iPod on the little
table by the door and she tossed that into the box too. She set the box back down and took another
look around the room to see if there was anything else he might like to have
with him. There was a plaid, patchwork
quilt tossed over the couch and she picked it up and added it to the box. It was old and obviously well used,
threadbare in a few places but it looked like the sort of thing that might
provide a little comfort. Abby added a
sweatshirt she found hanging on the hook by the door before picking up the box
and heading back to his room. She
dropped the box just inside the door, made sure he was sleeping and headed down
to the ER.
She managed to grab what she needed without being stopped by any nosy
co-workers, or Frank. After a quick stop
for a cup of coffee she headed back to Lucien's room. He was sound asleep,
curled up facing away from the door. She
covered him with the quilt, put a cool damp cloth on his forehead and settled
into the chair with her coffee and her paperwork.
*****************
Lucien woke up just about the time the sun was starting to set over the Chicago
skyline. He smiled when he realized he
was covered in the old quilt he kept in his office. His mother had made it when he was young and
he'd carried it around for years, from college, to medical school, to residency
and throughout his surgical career. It
was soft, worn and made up of completely mismatched, random squares of
fabric. He used to keep it at home but
when he realized he needed it more at work, he brought it in to his office. He
used it when he curled up on the worn couch in his office to do paperwork, when
he caught a few hours of sleep when he was on call and whenever he just needed
a little comforting.
He put on his glasses and let his eyes adjust to the fading daylight. Glancing around, he was happy to see he
wasn't alone. Abby was curled up in the
chair, sound asleep. She had a standard
issue white cotton hospital blanket thrown over her legs and a stack of
paperwork on the floor next to her.
Abby opened her eyes with the distinct feeling that she was being
watched. "Hey," she muttered
as she quickly wiped her hand over her mouth and tossed the blanket aside. "Feeling better?" she asked as she
pushed herself to her feet.
"A little, maybe. Just woke up,
kind of hard to tell," Lucien answered, being completely honest. Abby turned on the light over his bed and
carefully sat down next to him.
"You're doing it wrong," he teased as Abby pressed her hand to
his forehead. "You're supposed to kiss me," he teased.
"Not much cooler," Abby announced, effectively ignoring his
teasing.
"Did you get any work done, or did you just nap?" he asked as he
pointed towards her stack of files.
"I got some done," Abby said as she pulled the quilt up a little,
straightening it unnecessarily.
"Thanks for grabbing this out of my office," Lucien said as he
ran his hand over the worn plaid fabric.
"Looked like something you might want to have with you," Abby
said with a small smile.
"My mom made it, a long time ago.
She's been gone a few years now."
"You were close?"
"We were," Lucien said quietly as he picked at a loose thread on
the quilt. "Maybe I should try to
tackle some of that," he said as he motioned towards the box on his files
sitting on the wide window sill.
"If you want to. Or you could
just relax."
"I'll do a little work," Lucien decided with a sigh. Abby realized there wasn't any talking him
out of it. She also figured maybe it would be a good distraction for him. She put the box on the chair and pulled the
chair next to the bed so he could reach the files.
"I'm going to go get a cup of coffee, stretch my legs a little. Do you want anything?"
"You don't have to stay. I
mean, I'm not trying to get rid of you or anything but if you have somewhere
you need to be, I'll be fine," Lucien said in a tone that was almost
convincing.
"You sure?" Lucien just
nodded as he slipped his glasses on.
"OK, then I'm going to get going.
I'm on tomorrow; I'll try to stop by for lunch."
"Good. Bring me some real
food."
"Sure. Give me a call later if
you get bored."
"If I get bored?" Lucien smirked.
"Yeah, so I'll talk to you later," Abby said as she pulled on her
coat. She sat down next to the bed,
starting to feel a little awkward. She
wasn't sure where the feeling was coming from and tried to press it back
down.
"Well," Lucien started, obviously feeling just as awkward as he
fidgeted with the edge of the quilt.
"Don't take this the wrong way," he said quietly as he reached
for Abby's hand, squeezing it gently.
"I don't know how I would have made it through these past two days
without you. And I just wanted you to
know that. Thank you," he said.
Abby squeezed his hand back before he pulled away awkwardly.
"You're welcome. And don't take
this the wrong way either," Abby said with a smile as she leaned forward to
press a kiss to his forehead.
"I won't," Lucien assured her as she stood up.
"By the way, I did it right that time.
And you're still running a fever."
Lucien just chuckled and waved as Abby flashed a weary smile.
******************
With a torrential rain storm, 2 nurses who called out sick, and a pile up
on the freeway, the next day kept Abby busier than she'd been in a long
time. It was well after 2 by the time
she ever got a chance to duck into the ladies' room. She finished up, splashed some water on her
face and attempted to do something with her hair.
"Lunch date?" Frank asked as she went back out to the ADMIT desk
to complete a chart before going up to see Lucien. Abby just stared at him for a second, not
quite sure if he was being nice or not.
"Yes, I have a lunch date," Abby said as he tossed the chart in
the rack and tucked her pen in her pocket.
"Go easy on him, he's still recovering," Frank yelled as Abby
headed for the cafeteria.
"I hope that's better than a soggy tuna sandwich and cold soup,"
Lucien said as Abby entered his room 10 minutes later. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed,
facing the window with his untouched lunch on the tray table next to him. He looked much better than he had the night before. The IV pole was gone, although he still had
the port in his hand.
"Hey Abby, how's your day, thanks for taking time out of you busy day
to visit me," she snorted as she handed him the sytrofoam container with
his lunch.
"Sorry," he said with a smile as he took his lunch. "Hi, how are you? How's your day? What did you bring me?"
"Chicken fingers and fries, there wasn't much of a lunch selection
left."
"Sounds great," he said as he slid his finger between the lid and
the bottom to pop it open.
"You look a lot better," Abby commented as she pulled up the
other chair, turning it to prop her feet up on the edge of the window
sill. "Fever gone?"
Lucien nodded with a mouth full of chicken.
"Yeah, wanna check?" he teased after swallowing.
"Not particularly," Abby deadpanned. She reached for a few of his fries as they
settled into a comfortable silence while Lucien ate and Abby enjoyed some peace
and quiet. "Any idea when they're
letting you out of here?" Abby
eventually asked.
"I tried to convince the surgeon I'd be ready to go tomorrow."
"And after he stopped laughing, what did he say?" Abby smirked.
"At least another 48 hours.
Would like to see me, you know, walk unassisted before I leave."
"Good idea. Have you tried
walking yet?"
"I shuffled over here," he said as he motioned towards the chair
he was sitting in.
"Great, you managed to cover the distance of about 6 feet. And unless your house is the size of this
room, you should probably stick around here for a while."
"Cute. But seriously, I want
OUT OF HERE," he said, a little louder than he probably should have.
"Calm down," Abby warned with a roll of her eyes. "How about we try a walk down the hall
and back before I head back down to the ER."
"Yeah, I think I'm ready to try.
Let me just shuffle to the bathroom and do something with my hair,"
he teased as he slowly pushed himself to standing.
"I suggest a hat if you have one," Abby teased right back as he
slowly made his way across the room.
"Hey, Abby, there's a pair of pants and a clean shirt in the drawer,
can you hand them to me?"
"Sure." Abby got the clothes and stuck her hand in the bathroom
to give them to Lucien.
"Ready?" she asked when he came out of the bathroom a few
minutes later. Dressed in plaid flannel
pants, t-shirt and slippers, he looked pretty good, all things considered.
"No tubes or anything hanging?" he asked as he turned to one side
and then the other.
"Nope, you're good. You want
this on?" she asked as she held up the sweatshirt she'd brought from his
office the day before.
"Yeah," Lucien said as he handed Abby his glasses and took the
navy blue sweatshirt from her. He pulled
it on over his head and smoothed down his hair while Abby threw away the
remains of his lunch.
Abby offered him her arm and the two of them took off down the hall. Taking it slower than he would have liked,
Lucien managed to walk down to the lounge.
It wasn't a fast pace but he was happy to have made it without having to
stop for a rest. Unfortunately, Abby was
paged back to the ER before he'd regained enough energy for the return trip to
his room. He assured Abby he would be
fine; he'd just rest for a few more minutes and then slowly head back.
With Frank occupied by a phone call, Abby was able to return to work
without undergoing any further teasing.
***************
By the next afternoon Lucien was going stir crazy. He pulled the "I'm a doctor here and I
can do anything I want" card and took off for the ER in a wheelchair. He wanted to share with Abby the good news of
his returning nerve function and to thank her for her "gift". He didn't stay long, the ER was pretty busy
but it was nice to get off the floor for a little while.
Abby got stuck late and didn't get a chance to make it to Lucien's room
before she left for home. Lucien was
disappointed but the truth was, by the time he'd eaten dinner and taken a lap
around the floor on his own two feet, he was ready to crash. But as exhausted as he was, he had a hard
time settling down enough to fall asleep and ended up taking Ambien after
talking to Abby on the phone for a few minutes.
***************
Two days later the nurses were begging Lucien's surgeon to release him as
he was driving them nuts.
**************
"Get in the wheelchair," Abby said with an edge of frustration in
her voice. As she had worked the night
before, she was working on only a few hours sleep. She was cranky, Lucien was cranky and the
nursing staff was more than happy to see him be discharged. Lucien looked at her face and knew she wasn't
kidding. He sat in the chair without
further complaint.
After a trip to the Dunkin' Donuts drive through for hazelnut coffee their
moods improved greatly. Ten minutes
later Abby pulled into Lucien's driveway.
She'd been to his house once or twice to pick him up or drop him off,
but she'd never been inside. It was a
small, two story Cape Cod, not extravagant at all.
One step inside and Abby realized the house suited him perfectly. Well lived in with enough clutter to be
bordering on chaos. Lucien led Abby past
the sparsely furnished living room, through the kitchen, to the family room in
the back of the house. It was clearly
where Lucien hung out, books, medical journals, CDs and DVDs littered every
available surface.
"Sit," Abby said as she tossed his duffle bag on the steps
heading upstairs. She dropped his
backpack next to him on the couch and sank into easy chair, kicking off her
shoes and propping her feet on the coffee table.
"Comfortable?" Lucien teased.
"Don't start with me; I've had four hours sleep," Abby
whined. As she closed her eyes, Lucien
picked up the remote and turned on the television. After quickly scanning the channels he
settled on ESPN. Abby cracked her eyes
open to see if he'd stopped on anything worth watching. Deciding she didn't really care what was
going on in the world of sports she closed her eyes again, figuring if Lucien
needed anything he would wake her.
About an hour later, Abby woke with a start. It took her a minute to gain some sense of
time and space. The television was off
and she glanced towards the couch to find it empty.
"Lucien," she called out as she stood up to find him.
"In here," his voice floated down the hall, from the back of the
house. Abby followed the sound of his
voice to his home office. She found him
sitting on the small window seat that looked out over the backyard. He'd obviously showered and shaved while she
had been asleep. His hair was still damp and his curls a little more in control
than usual. Although he looked better,
all cleaned up, there was something in his eyes that worried Abby.
"You ok?" she asked as she walked across the room. She took a seat on the opposite end of the
window seat, pulling her knees to her chest.
"I don't know," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around
himself and leaned his head back, letting his eyes fall closed. "Not really looking forward to being
bored to tears for the next few weeks."
"It'll fly by, you'll be back to work before you know it," Abby
assured him, even though she cringed at how lame her words sounded.
"Nice try," Lucien said as he nudged her with his foot.
"Yeah. Look, uh, are you going
to be okay by yourself tonight?"
"I guess. I'm not going to try
the stairs. I'll just sleep in the guest
room down here."
"Good idea. Do you need me to
get anything from upstairs, make up the bed...anything?" Abby asked
suddenly feeling and sounding a little awkward.
"I'm good. Actually planned
ahead. Everything I need is already in
the guest room," Lucien replied, completely oblivious to the fact that
Abby seemed like she wanted to stay and give him a hand.
"Oh, okay," Abby said with a little edge to her voice. She turned her attention towards the window
overlooking the backyard. Lucien watched
her as he took a few deep breaths in an attempt to ward off the returning pain.
"If you want to stay and keep me company, I promise I won't take it
the wrong way," Lucien said a minute later when the light bulb finally
went on. He shifted uncomfortably as the pain meds were really starting to wear
off.
"I think I'll stick around a while, see how you do by yourself. Do you want to take something?" Abby
asked as she glanced at her watch.
"Do I want to...no. Am I going
to...yes," Lucien said with a weary sigh as he brushed his hair back a
bit.
"I'll get it," Abby said as she waved him back down. While she was gone, Lucien got up off the
window seat and shuffled to the leather recliner on the other side of the
room. He did his best to curl up into a
ball, which was still no easy feat for him.
Abby came back a few minutes later with the pill, a bottle of water and the
plaid quilt they'd brought home from the hospital. "Why don't you close your eyes for a
while. I'll just snoop around your house and make myself at home," Abby
teased as she covered him up with the quilt and brushed back his hair in a not
so subtle attempt to check his temperature.
She turned off the light but left the door open so she could hear him.
While Lucien slept, Abby walked around the house for a bit. While she did look around she didn't snoop
around. She didn't go upstairs and she
didn't peek in all the cabinets, although she did look in the fridge for
something to drink. The fridge was full,
Lucien really had planned ahead. A quick
peek at the freezer revealed half a dozen frozen casseroles, apparently Lucien
knew how to cook. Abby peeked into the
top pan, finding baked ziti. She set it
on the counter to thaw before pouring herself a glass of iced tea.
Lucien slept for almost 3 hours, surprising both himself and Abby. When he woke up he wandered into the family
room, still wrapped up in the quilt. He
sat down next to Abby on the couch, where she had been flipping through his
medical journals. "Not to be mean,
but you look like crap," she teased as Lucien dropped his head to her
shoulder, taking her by surprise. But
she'd come to realize over the past few days, that when he sought her out physically,
he wasn't doing well, emotionally, physically or both. "Nap didn't help?" she asked softly
as she pressed her hand to his forehead.
"Not really," he sighed as he sat up a little staighter. "What's that smell?"
"Baked ziti, I raided the freezer.
Hope you don't mind."
"Not a problem," Lucien said as he pushed himself to his
feet. He paced around the room for a
minute, finally heading down the hall. "Where's my duffle bag?"
"Bottom of the stairs," Abby called from where she was still
sitting on the couch.
Lucien grabbed the bag and took it into the laundry room. He started the washer and shoved the dirty
clothes in without waiting for the washer to fill. The top to the washer slammed down as he
pushed it with much more force than necessary.
He tossed the bag in the corner as Abby came into the room. She hopped up to sit on the washer and to get
out of Lucien's way as he was starting to pace.
She watched him walk out of the room, down the hall to the back door and
then back. Her repeated his trip a few
times until Abby finally grabbed his hand during one trip past the washer.
"Lucien," she whispered as he stubbornly stopped, resisting the
urge to pull his hand away. He stared at
his socks until Abby reached out to tip up his chin. "What's wrong?"
With a shrug of his shoulders, Lucien didn't say anything. Abby was at a loss about how to help
him. It was obvious he didn't really
know what was wrong, or what he needed.
She did the only thing she could think of; she grabbed his other hand
and pulled him into her arms. His chin
dropped to her shoulder and he allowed Abby to comfort him, to the surprise of
both of them. Abby rubbed his back a little
but gave up on trying to think of something helpful to say. After a minute it was clear that Lucien
wasn't going to remain upright for much longer.
He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "You need to sit down," Abby said
before lightly kissing his cheek. She
slid off the washer as Lucien shuffled towards the kitchen.
The sun was beginning to set so Lucien pulled the shades in the kitchen
down before taking a seat at table. He
glanced through the pile of mail he'd tossed there when they got home, skimmed
the newspaper and flipped through a magazine while Abby put the garlic bread in
the oven and make a salad.
"Do you have any tea bags?" Abby asked as she rubbed her hands
over her arms as she was a bit chilly.
"Over the stove. There should
be a sweatshirt hanging by the back door if you're cold," he said as he
got up to nudge up the thermostat a little.
Dinner was delicious but a little on the awkward side. Lucien wasn't real talkative but he did eat,
which Abby was glad to see as his appetite hadn't been the greatest since the
surgery. He waved off Abby's efforts to
help with the dishes. She sat down at
the kitchen table with a magazine and another cup of tea while Lucien loaded
the dishwasher. Abby snuck glances at
him as he cleaned up. She could tell he
was in a fair amount of pain but he was doing his best to hide it. She turned
her attention back to the magazine as Lucien reached into the cabinet over the
stove to grab himself a tea bag. He
turned too quickly, or stretched too far and end up all but doubled over in
pain. Abby jumped out of the chair and
was at his side in a second.
"Breath through it," she said as she crouched next to him, one
hand on his back. "Turned the wrong
way?"
"I think, or stretched, I don't know," Lucien replied as he took
a deep shaky breath and stood up straight.
"This sucks, Dr. Lockhart," he groaned as he walked to the
family room and dropped gingerly to the couch.
"Give it time, you just had major surgery. Your body needs time to...."
"Abby please," he whined as he cut her off.
"Sorry," Abby said, a little more harshly that she had
intended. She walked back to the kitchen
to pour Lucien's tea.
"Sorry," he muttered when she came back and handed him the tea.
"How about a little time alone?" Abby offered. "I need to go home to get a few things."
"OK."
"Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm fine," Lucien said as he turned his attention to the
television. Abby took a calming breath,
grabbed her coat and headed for her car.
While Abby was gone Lucien drank his tea, finished reading the mail and
carefully moved the laundry over to the dryer.
He wandered around the house, feeling a little strange, being truly
alone for the first time in days. As the
walls began to feel like they were closing in, he put on a jacket, slipped on
his sneakers and went out to sit on the front porch swing. The fresh air felt nice, although it was
cold, even for a November evening in Chicago. He went back inside, got the quilt and the
portable phone just in case Abby called.
The night was clear and the stars out in full force. He looked at them for a while, trying in vain
to remember the names of the constellations he'd learned as a boy.
The sight of Abby pulling in the driveway brought a smile to his face. He thought about getting up and going to
greet her, but he wasn't up to the stairs and he really wasn't supposed to be
lifting anything so helping her with her bag was out of the question. So he stayed on the swing, waving as she got
out of the car.
"Aren't you cold?" she asked as she climbed the stairs.
"A little, but I needed some fresh air," he said with a sigh as
he stopped the swing, giving Abby a chance to sit with him. He offered her the end of the quilt, which
she took gratefully. "About
before....in the laundry room, I'm sorry."
"For what?" Abby asked as she turned a little on the swing to
face him.
"Falling apart."
Abby chuckled and shook her head.
"Lucien, you have nothing to apologize for. And that wasn't exactly falling apart."
"True, but then again, the night's not over yet," he chuckled as
he kissed her cheek. "Thank
you."
They stayed outside for a while longer, until Lucien starting yawning
uncontrollably, much to his dismay.
"Well, awake for 4 hours and I need another rest," he muttered
and sighed. "Don't say it, don't remind me it's perfectly normal," he
teased as he pulled the quilt back to stand.
What he didn't count on way the fact that he'd gotten rather stiff from
being in one position for so long. He
silently and grudgingly took the hand Abby held out to him.
Once in the house things were only slightly awkward. Abby set her things in the family room and
Lucien went to the guest room to get changed.
He wandered back into the kitchen as Abby was putting away the dishes
from the dishwasher. While Abby changed
and used the bathroom, Lucien took his pills and poured a glass of water to
take into the guest room with him. He
was halfway down the hall when Abby came out of the bathroom. She was wearing a pair of scrub pants and a
faded t-shirt with her hair hanging loose.
"Uh, let me get you some blankets and a pillow," Lucien said as
he set the water on the dresser in the guest room. He found the spare bedding in the top of the
closet but asked Abby to get it, he didn't want a repeat of what had happened
earlier when he tried to reach something.
Abby put the blankets on the chair in the family room and went back to say
goodnight to Lucien. She found him
staring out the window. Abby pulled back
the blankets and turned off the overhead light, leaving the room lit by the
lamp on the bedside table.
"Tucking me in?" he teased as he moved away from the window and
sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Just wanted to make sure you actually got in bed, instead of being
stubborn about getting some rest," Abby smirked.
"Fair enough," Lucien said, returning the smirk. He sat down on the edge of the bed, took off
his glasses and rubbed wearily at his eyes.
"You need anything, did you take a pill?" Abby asked as she stood
next to the bed feeling completely uneasy.
"Abby, I'm fine. I took my
pills, I brushed my teeth and I took care of things we're not going to
discuss," Lucien teased.
"Sorry, it's just that.....I don't know, things are a little..."
she stuttered.
"I know," Lucien said quietly as he crawled under the
covers. He patted the spot next to him
and Abby sat down as casually as possible, but failing miserable. She straightened the covers a little,
essentially tucking him in, but he didn't tease. In fact he thought it was rather sweet. Abby took his glasses from him and set them
on the table.
"I'll be up for a while. Yell
if you need anything," Abby said as she patted his shoulder. She turned
off the light as Lucien rolled over on his side.
"Good night," he called as she turned to leave."
"Get some sleep," Abby whispered as she headed down the hall.
******************
Abby watched television for a while, not really finding anything to hold
her attention. She got herself a glass
of water and had just turned out the light when she heard Lucien calling
her. She headed down the hall. "You ok?" she asked as she stopped
in the doorway. In the dim light she
could see he looked miserable.
"Too quiet in here. Nobody's
stopping by for a vital check," he said lamely, not really wanted to admit
anything serious, like the fact he lacked the energy to get out of the
bed. Abby just gave him a little glare
to start talking. "Feel like crap,"
he muttered as he scooted over a little to give her room to sit down. Abby sat down without a second thought as she
turned on the bedside lamp.
"That's not a real helpful complaint," she teased lightly as she
pressed her hand to his forehead.
"You're a little warm.
Pain?"
Lucien nodded. "Incision hurts,
head hurts, I can't get comfortable with this damn thing," he muttered as
he pointed in the general direction of the catheter tubing.
"Does the incision look okay?"
"Yeah, no sign of infection, just sore. Dissolving stitches by the way," Lucien
said as he blew out a frustrated breath.
"Everything is just sore...sore, swollen and annoying the hell out
of me."
"Bleeding?" Abby asked, trying her best to toe the line between
friend and doctor and not lean over the side of the bed to check for herself.
"Some, nothing to worry about, I don't think. You can look if you want," he said,
feeling miserable enough at that point that he didn't really care what she did
or didn't see. Abby nodded a little and
walked around to the other side of the bed.
She took a quick glance at the bag.
There were a few very small clots. Lucien was right, nothing to really
worry about. While she wasn't worried
about bleeding any longer, she was worried about how he wasn't embarrassed at
all at having her ask personal questions.
Abby sat back down in the bed next to him.
"Honestly, I think you overdid it a little today and you're just
tired. You spent way too much time on
your feet. How about a heating pad or
hot water bottle, something to drink and I'll stay and keep you company for a little
while?" Abby offered as she gently brushed the hair out of his eyes.
"There's a heating pad in the cabinet over the washer," Lucien
said as he tried to lever himself up a little more. He gave up as Abby left the room, figuring
she could help him when she returned.
Abby got him the heating pad and a glass of cranberry juice, which he drank
with a minimal amount of complaining. She helped him get comfortable on his
side with the heating pad and a few extra pillows for support. She threw the quilt over herself and turned
out the light. Lucien was on his side,
facing away from her, arms wrapped around an extra pillow.
They were silent and still for a few minutes. Abby didn't know quite what to say or how to
help him and Lucien was beyond the point of caring if he held up his end of a
conversation.
"Doing okay?" Abby finally asked softly as she tentatively
reached out to rub his back a little. He
just shook his head against the pillow as he leaned into her touch, clearly
craving a little contact and comforting.
Abby scooted a little closer, wrapping her arm around him, pressing a
kiss to the back of his head. She heard
him take a shaky, halting breath as his hand sought out hers. "It's okay, just let it out," she
whispered. She held him as he cried
silent tears of frustration, pain and fear.
No words seemed helpful, she just let him cry.
"Can we just blame that on the Percocet?" Lucien teased after he
blew his nose and wiped his face a bit.
"Sure, not a problem," Abby said as she helped Lucien roll over
onto his back. "Want to go back on
your side?" she asked as he groaned in pain and utter frustration.
"I don't know what the hell I want," he sighed as he wiped away a
few remaining tears with the back of his hand.
"I can't get comfortable. I
miss the adjustable bed," he muttered.
"How about the recliner? You
might be more comfortable there. You
slept well there this afternoon, right?"
"Yeah. Okay, help me up,"
he sighed after weighing his dwindling options.
Abby got him upright and had him sit there for a minute to get his bearings
before he stood up. It wasn't easy but
they slowly made their way to his office, Abby holding him by the arm with the
quilt thrown over her other arm and Lucien carrying the bag and trying his best
to remain upright. Abby got him settled
in the recliner, where he seemed to be much more comfortable. She put a cool, damp washcloth on his
forehead and tucked the quilt around him.
"Let me get my blanket and stuff and I'll be right back, okay,"
she asked as she checked to make sure the bag and the tubing were intact.
By the time Abby had used the bathroom, gotten the bottle of Percocet and
some water and gathered up her bedding, Lucien was starting to doze. She knelt
next to the chair for a minute, brushing back his hair. After a quick kiss to his cheek, she unfolded
her blankets and was about to curl up herself when she realized his glasses
were in the bedroom.
With his glasses and a bottle of water on the table next to him, Abby
finally crawled onto the couch and promptly fell asleep.
Lucien woke up with the distinct feeling that something wasn't right. It took a minute for him to realize exactly
where he was. He turned as he far as he
could to the side to see if Abby was on the couch. She was curled up, sound asleep.
"Abby," he whispered.
Almost no sound came out and he cleared his throat to try again. The second attempt wasn't much better. He managed to reach for the bottle of water,
luckily for him, Abby had taken the cap off and he didn't have to struggle to
get it off. A few sips was all it took
for his voice to get a little stronger.
"Abby."
"What?" was her only reply, before reality took hold and she
completely woke up. She threw the covers
back, propelled herself off the couch and was at his side in a matter of
seconds. "What's wrong?" she asked as she put her hand on his
forehead. He was still a little warm but
no warmer than he had been before.
"Something's not right," he muttered as he blindly reached for
his glasses. Abby turned on the light on
the end table, bathing the room in a nice soft light that wasn't going to be
any help at all. She turned on the
overhead light, blinking against the harsh intrusion of brightness.
"What's wrong?" she asked as she knelt next to Lucien.
"I don't know," Lucien muttered as he closed his eyes and
concentrated on figuring out just what he was feeling. Abby went into doctor mode, pushing aside any
feelings of embarrassment either of them were about to feel. She pulled the quilt back, settling it over
his legs. Lucien's hand rested over the
incision site and she moved it away before pulling down the waistband of his
flannel pajama pants. There was nothing
obviously wrong with the incision at first glance but when she pressed lightly
on the general area Lucien squirmed in pain.
Abby glanced up at Lucien, silently asking permission to check everything
else. With tears of frustration and
embarrassment he nodded his permission.
As detached and as clinically as possible, Abby took a quick look at the
catheter, quickly finding the source of the problem.
"Tubing's kinked," she said as she untwisted it. "Bladder's full and pressing on well,
everything," she said with a smile as she straightened his pants and
pulled the quilt back over him. She
checked to make sure the bag was filling and that it had enough space in it.
"Bleeding?" Lucien looked as he struggled to see.
"A little, nothing to worry about," Abby assured him as she stood
up. "I'll be back in a minute. Drink some water," she said as she
pointed towards the bottle on the table next to him.
Abby went into the kitchen, washed her hands and got herself a drink of
water. She took a minute to take a few
deep breaths, calm herself down and to give Lucien a few minutes to
himself. She half hoped he was just fall
back to sleep but knew that deep down, that wasn't very likely. She was pretty sure she would find him brooding
and withdrawn.
And she was right.
Lucien went out of his way to avoid making eye contact and said nothing as
Abby replaced his now empty water bottle with a full one. "Do you need anything else?" she
asked as she put a fresh cool cloth on his forehead. His response was only a shake of his head,
just what Abby had expected. She didn't
take his actions and lack of response personally, she knew he had to be
mortified. "I'll be here if you
need anything," she whispered as she reached to pat his hand. He pulled away, tucking his hand under the
quilt.
Much to the surprise of both of them, Lucien slept through the rest of the
night. Abby woke a little before 7:00, made coffee and pulled the newspaper off
the front porch. She settled down on the
couch in the family room with her coffee and the Today Show. A little before 8:00
she heard Lucien cursing and muttering under his breath but she resisted the
urge to run and check on him. She hoped
that if he really needed help, he would ask for it. She heard him go into the
bedroom and then the bathroom.
A long 30 minutes later, Lucien emerged from the bathroom, looking as bad
as one would expect, given the circumstances.
He walked to the kitchen and reached for the coffee.
"That's regular," Abby called over her shoulder. With a few choice words, muttered under his
breath, Lucien went to the refrigerator and got out the bottle of cranberry
juice. He poured himself a glass, downed
it too quickly and ended up heaving over the kitchen sink.
Abby was at his side at the first sound of him gagging. "Take it easy, relax," she said as
she held his head.
"Hurts," he cried as he swiped at his eyes.
"What hurts, Lucien?" she asked as she put a hand on his back.
"Incision," he gasped as he did his best not to throw up.
Abby pressed one hand against the incision and rubbed his back with the
other. "Don't fight it, don't hold
your breath," she coached as she put a damp paper towel on the back of his
neck. Lucien stood at the sink, head in
his hands, elbows on the counter for a good ten minutes before he felt able to
lift his head. When Abby felt safe
enough to step away from him, she found a plastic cup in the cabinet and got
him a drink of water. "Rinse and spit," she said as he took the cup
with a shaky hand. He rinsed his mouth
and spit as he was told before letting Abby lead him to the nearest chair.
With a completely frustated sigh he folded his arms on the table and
dropped his head down. Abby knelt next
to him, gently rubbing his back and threading her fingers through his
hopelessly out of control curls.
"What do you want to do?" she asked quietly.
"Curl up and die," he snorted as he turned his head a little to
look at her. "Do you have to work
today?"
"I'm scheduled for a short shift, starting at noon. Unless you
have someone coming over to sit with you, I'm calling out."
"I don't. I thought I'd be fine
to be left alone," he sighed as he sat up a little, managing to lift his
head up without getting dizzy or sick to his stomach.
"Kind of unrealistic of you," Abby said with a roll of her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm not the most realistic guy around," he muttered as he
pushed himself to his feet. Abby watched
to make sure he was going to sit somewhere and not push himself. He settled on the couch to watch Katie Couric
so Abby made him some toast.
"Thanks," he said as she handed him the toast and set a cup of
decaf tea on the table next to him.
"And thanks for...you know... the middle of the night..." he
said softly as his voice trailed off.
"You're welcome."
"You know, now that you've seen the worst of me, maybe someday you'd
like to see my better side."
"Lucien, I've seen all sides," she teased. "And we've had this conversation
before," she added with just a little hint of warning in her voice.
He nodded and took a bite of the toast.
Abby went into the kitchen to call out of work. She talked to Kerry, who, while not thrilled
about losing her for the day, was uncharacteristically understanding about the
situation, which she'd managed to pry out of Abby.
"OK, I'm all yours for the day," Abby announced as she returned
to the family room.
"Gee and I'm afraid I'm not up to doing much," Lucien smirked as
he set aside the empty plate and reached for the tea. Abby sat down next to
him, settling in for what would likely be a long, long day.
*************
"Now what?" Lucien asked as the Today Show ended and he reached
for remote.
"Doesn't matter to me," Abby answered as she got up off the
couch, cleared away the empty plates and cups and headed for the kitchen. Lucien flipped through the channels, finding
nothing to hold his attention.
"I'm going to take a shower," he called over his shoulder.
"You steady enough, or do you need me to come with you?" Abby
called back.
"I think I'm okay, but if you want to sneak a peek, I'll leave the
door unlocked," he teased.
Abby shook her head and rolled her eyes, even though Lucien couldn't see
her. She rummaged through the freezer,
pulling out something that looked like beef stew to have later for dinner. While Lucien showered, she finished reading
the paper, keeping an ear out for him.
"Abby," Lucien called as he stuck his head out the bathroom door.
"You okay?" she yelled back as she headed down the hall.
"Forgot my clothes. Just grab
something out of the dresser in the guest room."
Abby found him a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved Chicago Bears
t-shirt in the top drawer. From the
other drawer she pulled out a pair of underwear and some socks. "Here," she said as she opened the
door to the bathroom and held the clothes out for him. She stood in the hallway to make sure he
didn't need any help.
"Shit," Abby heard him mutter from behind the door.
"Lucien, do you need help?" she asked, one hand on the doorknob,
ready to go in.
"Yeah," he muttered as he reached to pull the door open all the
way. He was sitting on the closed toilet
lid, socks in his hand, unable to lean over far enough to put them on. Abby took the socks from him and wordlessly
knelt down to put them on. She
straightened out the legs of his pants before grabbing the towel off the bar
and drying his hair a little. She combed
her fingers through the curls and handed him his glasses before leaving him
alone to brush his teeth and do whatever else he needed to do.
"I think I feel almost human," Lucien announced as he came into
the kitchen to get a drink. He pushed
aside the cranberry juice and reached for the iced tea instead. "It's decaf," Lucien said as Abby
eyed the bottle of Snapple.
"Good. You look a heck of a lot
better," Abby said with a smile.
"What do you feel like doing?" Abby asked with a look of
warning in her eyes for him to be serious.
"I think I'll go through my email, maybe look at the paperwork I
brought home. If you want to get out of
here for a while, I'll be fine."
"You sure?" Abby asked as she eyed him warily.
"I'm sure."
Abby helped Lucien get settled in his office with his paperwork, two
bottles of water, his cell phone, the regular phone, his pills and some snacks.
"You need anything else?" Abby asked as set the water bottles on
his desk.
"I'm fine," Lucien said with an edge of annoyance to his
voice. He was very much craving a little
time alone.
"Good. Don't sit in the chair
too long; call me if you need anything. I'll be back in a few hours," Abby said
as she left the room. Lucien gave a
little grunt in her direction and turned his attention towards the papers in
front of him.
It was a little over an hour later when Lucien started to wonder if he'd
been sitting in one spot for too long.
As he pushed the chair back and started to stand, he was sure he'd been
sitting upright too long. He grabbed a
bottle of water and the phone before shuffling towards the recliner. As he settled down he realized he hadn't brought
over any of the paperwork but he also realized he lacked the ambition and
energy to get up again so he just flicked on the television. Settling on the Food Network, he watched as
Paula Deen made some concoction with two sticks of butter, lots of chocolate
and not much else.
"Lucien," Abby called as she opened the front door almost exactly
two hours after she had headed out.
"Office," he called back as he started to put the recliner in the
upright position to go meet her. He
hadn't quite gotten to his feet when Abby came into the room, cheeks flushed
and hair going in all directions.
"Windy out there," she said as she ran her fingers through her
hair and sat down on the couch.
"You get some work done?"
"Yeah and I sat too long in the chair," he admitted with a sigh.
"Ah, can't say I'm surprised," Abby teased. "How much did you drink?"
"Uh, not enough," Lucien said sheepishly as he pointed to the
half full bottle on the table next to him and the full one still sitting on the
desk.
"Not good, Dr. Dubenko," Abby warned. Lucien reached for the water bottle while
Abby grabbed the other one and put it next to him. "If it doesn't go in, it doesn't come
out," she said in a voice laced with a little frustration. Lucien bit back whatever smart ass comment
was forming in his head and finished the one bottle of water instead. "Did you eat lunch?"
"Nope. You?"
"Not yet. You hungry?"
"A little, I guess."
"Well, come out to the kitchen; I'll make you something," Abby
offered as she held out her hand to help him out of the recliner.
"Where did you go?" Lucien asked as he slumped down in one of the
kitchen chairs.
"Drove around for a while.
Stopped by my place to pick up a few things," Abby said as she
buttered the bread for grilled cheese sandwiches.
"Planning on staying tonight?" Lucien asked with a wink.
"Yeah, I don't trust you to be left alone yet," she said
returning the wink.
"Good. I'd rather not spend the
night alone," Lucien said honestly.
His honesty seemed to catch both of them by surprise; Abby turned around
to look at him to make sure she'd heard him correctly. Lucien smiled with that boyish smile he so
rarely shared. It was the first real
smile Abby had seen from him in almost a week.
She smiled back and before things could get strange, she turned her
attention back to the sandwiches.
Lunch was lighthearted as they gossiped about people at the hospital. Lucien's appetite seemed to have waned a
little but he did finish the bottle of water, which was what Abby was more
worried about. Abby sent him out to the
front porch to get a little fresh air while she cleaned up. She set the tea kettle on the stove before washing
up the few dishes they'd used for their lunch.
Out on the porch, Lucien breathed deeply, inhaling the crisp, clean scent
that was unique to autumn. The leaves
had just about finished falling from the trees in the front yard and he'd spent
a few hours raking them the weekend before he'd entered the hospital. The yard was covered again and he'd already
made a deal with the 13 year old boy across the street to finish the job as it
would be weeks before he was up to doing yard work.
He checked to see if Abby was coming before gingerly walking down the front
steps to meet the mailman who was coming down the street. The trip down the stairs wasn't too bad, but
the trip back us was more difficult than he had anticipated. His feet hit the top step as Abby was coming
out the door with two mugs of tea. He
tossed the mail on the little table next to the swing and gratefully took the
tea from Abby. They settled on the porch
swing, enjoying the fresh air and the green tea.
"Since when do I have anything but plain old tea bags?" Lucien
teased as he inhaled the scent of the tea.
"Since I stopped by my house.
You need to branch out a little, try new things," Abby teased.
"Yeah, that's not me," Lucien teased right back. "But I'm sure after two days in my house
you've pretty much learned that," he added with a grin.
"Yeah, I got that pretty quickly," Abby smirked.
By the time Lucien's tea was gone, he was starting to fidget, alerting Abby
to the fact he hadn't taken anything for pain recently.
"OK, this stoic thing you've got going...not the best idea."
"But the Percocet knocks me out," Lucien whined, knowing he was
about to engage in a losing battle.
"God, pain medication that causes you to rest, what will medical
science think of next?" Abby deadpanned.
"OK Dr. Lockhart, this sarcastic thing isn't all that attractive on
you," Lucien shot back with an ineffective glare. He leaned forward to gain a little momentum
to get himself to his feet. He shuffled back into the house, took a pill and
settled down on the couch in the family room with his iPod, a bottle of water
and his quilt.
Abby left him alone, hoping he would just fall asleep.
Forty-five minutes later, she realized that wasn't going to happen.
She stood in the archway between the kitchen and family room, watching
Lucien for a minute. He was clearly
uncomfortable, trying his best to curl up into a ball under the quilt. With the distinct feeling he was being
watched, he glanced in Abby's direction and gave a sad little smile as he
pulled his hand out from under the quilt and held it out towards her.
"What can I do for you?" she asked as she pulled the ear buds out
of his ears and knelt down next to the couch.
Lucien just shrugged his shoulders.
She pressed her hand to his forehead to check his temperature. "Not running a fever."
"Can't get comfortable," he said, cringing at how whiny he
sounded.
"Need some more pillows, the heating pad, some company?" Abby
asked as she brushed his hair out of his eyes.
"Heating pad and some company," Lucien said after a little
contemplating. Abby found the heating
pad in the bedroom and brought it out.
She plugged it in, handed it to him and went to sit down at the end of
the couch by his feet. Lucien shook his
head and sat up a little, giving her room to sit at the other end. Abby hesitated a little but something in
Lucien's eyes let her know that he just wanted some contact, that he wasn't
going to take her comforting him as anything more. She kicked off her shoes and sat down,
propping her feet on the coffee table.
She set the throw pillow in her lap and motioned for Lucien to put his
head back down.
"Thank you," he whispered as he sniffed a little. Abby looked down and saw little tears of pain
and/or frustration starting to pool in the corners of his eyes.
"You're welcome," she assured him as she wiped away the tears.
Lucien put the ear buds back in his ears, closed his eyes again and after
another few minutes of squirming around to get comfortable he started to drift
off under Abby's gentle touch as she brushed back his hair. When she was sure he was asleep she turned
off the heating pad and tossed it aside.
She pulled the quilt back over him, settling her arm over his chest.
Since Abby hadn't really planned on ending up the in position she currently
found herself in, she hadn't thought ahead to grab a magazine, a book or the
television remote. And as Lucien had
only been completely asleep for about 20 minutes, she didn't want to disturb
him by trying to sneak off the couch. So
that left her with a little time to think.
Lucien moaned in his sleep a little and she rubbed his shoulder to soothe
him a little. He settled back down
within a minute or so. She watched him
as he fell back to sleep. His features
evened out and he was finally peaceful, or as peaceful as he could get given
his current circumstances. Abby had to
admit he was kind of cute, in a non conventional way. The hair could be a bit much but he had
beautiful eyes and the boyish smile thing he had going for him worked like a
charm, on the rare occasion that he used it.
But the more she watched him sleep, the more she came to realize one
thing. Her decision to turn down his
unusual offer had been the right one.
While she enjoyed his company and didn't want to be anywhere else at the
moment, she felt no romantic attraction to him at all.
She saw them becoming close friends, the kind of friend you could tell
anything to without the risk of feeling foolish. Someone to hang out with at the end of a hard
day. Someone to fall back on when your date to a formal function stands you
up. The only thing she worried about was
if Lucien hadn't quite let go of the notion of being more than friends. While he hadn't made any gestures or serious
comments that led Abby to believe otherwise, he had been alternately in pain
and drugged for the better part of a week.
But she didn't want him to get the wrong idea every time she reached out
to him as a friend, brushed back his curls or kissed his forehead.
Abby alternately stared out the window or dozed herself for the better part
of an hour. The sound of the wind
picking up woke her fully a little before 3:00. She glanced out the window; the sky was the
color of dull steel as a storm was brewing in the distance. She looked down to find Lucien still sound
asleep. With a little calculating of how long he'd been asleep and how much
he'd had to drink over the day she realized she should probably wake him soon.
"Lucien," she said softly after turning off the iPod. She rubbed his shoulder a little to wake
him. He stretched a little, pulling his
hands out from under the quilt and rubbing at his eyes a bit to gain a little
sense of time and space. "It's
after 3:00 and since you actually
drank enough this morning, I think you might be living on borrowed time."
"Ah, yeah, thanks," Lucien muttered as he slowly eased himself
into a sitting position. He sat for a
minute until he got his bearings and was able to go into the bathroom. Abby stayed within earshot but Lucien didn't
need any help with anything and emerged looking pretty good considering, about
20 minutes later.
"You know, this whole catheter thing could come in handy during long
surgeries," Lucien mused as he leaned against the counter next to the
refrigerator. Abby just looked at him as
if he had sprouted a second head. He
shrugged his shoulders and gave a goofy smile before turning to open the
refrigerator to look for a snack.
Abby used Lucien's computer to check her own email and to do a little
mindless web surfing while he flipped through some surgical journals.
"I can't do this," Lucien muttered as he tossed aside the journal
and pulled off his glasses in frustration.
"What?" Abby asked, pretty much not really paying attention to
him.
"Sit around and do nothing for weeks," he whined as he walked
behind the desk and sat in the window seat.
Abby didn't bother turning around to face him as she continued to surf
around EBay.
"Don't you have any hobbies or anything," she asked, using her
best disinterested voice.
"I'm a surgeon, I don't exactly have a lot of free time," Lucien
pointed out as he dropped his head back, letting it bounce a bit against the
wall in boredom and frustration.
"Is this how it's going to be every night?" Abby asked as she
finally turned the chair around to face him.
She propped her feet on the window seat, resting them against his leg.
"What are you talking about?" Lucien asked, without bothering to
look at her.
"The pity party," Abby said as she nudged him with her foot to
get him to look at her. He grudgingly
looked at her and shrugged his shoulders.
His mood both grated on Abby's nerves and made her feel sorry for
him. She pushed aside her annoyed
feelings and tried to put herself in his shoes.
Facing a cancer diagnosis was something she had obviously never
experienced and even as a doctor she couldn't really form a point of reference
for the situation.
Abby stood up and sat down next to Lucien on the window seat. With a sigh he dropped his head to her
shoulder as he had done many times in the previous week. Abby put her arm around him without a second
thought. They watched as the rain beat
against the windows and the sky grew darker.
"I have to work tomorrow. You
think you'll be okay by yourself?" Abby asked as she pulled her arm out
from around his shoulders.
"Yeah. I talked to a few
neighbors today; they'll stop by and check on me."
"You could always call your little friend," Abby teased. "Wait, not a good idea, you're supposed
to rest."
"Cute," Lucien snorted as he lifted his head up. "I have an appointment with the surgeon
at 4:30; I'll just call a cab."
"Sounds good. I'm supposed to
be off at 7:00 so if you want to hang
out after your appointment, I'll bring you home."
"Okay."
"How about we eat an early dinner and watch a movie tonight. You can pick, just no alien movies,"
Abby said as she patted his shoulder one last time before standing up to help
him to his feet.
"Guess that would be okay," Lucien muttered sounding entirely
unenthusiastic about the idea in general.
Abby didn't take it personally, she was sure he wasn't going to find any
of her ideas exciting.
"Field of Dreams?" Abby whined.
"A baseball movie?"
"It's not a 'baseball' movie," Lucien protested. "It's about dreams, magic and second chances."
"And baseball," Abby said with a resigned sigh as she settled
down on the end of the couch. She'd
already put on her pajamas even though it was only a little after 7:00 PM.
"Give it a chance, you'll like it," Lucien assured her as he gave
her a nice little patronizing smile.
It turned out Abby did indeed like the movie. By the end when Ray and his father were
playing catch out on the field she was sure Lucien would make fun of her for
crying, but as she glanced over she saw he was a little misty too. She didn't say anything, figuring he would
just blame it on the meds anyway.
Lucien went to get changed for bed while Abby cleared away the dishes from
their snack. He shuffled into the
kitchen to take his pills a few minutes later.
Clearly not ready to settle down for the night, he paced around the
kitchen for a few minutes, not sure what he wanted to do. Abby watched him for a minute but found it
hard to keep quiet and not nag him about settling down. She went to brush her own teeth and to give
him a little time and space for him to decide what he needed or wanted.
He didn't really want to get into bed yet but Lucien realized that pacing
was just going to make him more uncomfortable in the long run. With two bottles of water and the bottle of
plain Advil, he headed for the bedroom.
Ten minutes later he'd taken care of all the personal things he didn't
want Abby to have to deal with and he was trying to vain to get comfortable. He wanted to be able to do it himself as he
was pretty sure the next night he would be on his own. Finally he gave in to the frustration and
called out for Abby. She was there in a
few seconds as she had been lurking in the hallway, waiting to see if he would
ask for the help she was sure he needed.
"Need a hand?" she asked from the doorway.
"I don't know what the hell I need, but I can't get comfortable,"
Lucien admitted with a sigh.
"OK, you ready to sleep or do you want to read or something for a
while?"
"How about the crossword puzzle?" Lucien suggested as he motioned
towards the puzzle book on the night stand.
"Is that an offer to let me write while you supply all the
answers," Abby teased.
"Something like that," he smirked back.
Abby got him settled with a few strategically placed pillows and his
quilt. She grabbed the puzzle book and a
pen and curled up next to him so he could read the clues. Lucien made it about halfway through the
puzzle before the Percocet kicked in and he basically fell asleep mid
sentence. Abby carefully pulled off his
glasses and turned out the light on his side of the bed.
On a roll with the puzzle, Abby just moved over a little and continued to
plug away at it. She stopped and glanced
over in Lucien's direction whenever he moved a little or moaned in his
sleep. A few times she reached out to
pat his shoulder or run her fingers through his hair to settle him back
down. When her progress on the puzzle
came to a screeching halt, Abby tossed the book and pen aside.
Lucien was restless, tossing and turning a little in his sleep like he
couldn't get comfortable. He rolled onto his back for a minute, only to roll
back onto his side again. Even in sleep
the look on his face showed how uncomfortable he was. Abby crawled out of bed and walked around to
the other side to make sure there wasn't a problem with the catheter
tubing. She glanced under the quilt and
determined everything was in order.