In the Cold, Hard Light of Day

Elizabeth silently finished wrapping Robert's arm. As he tried to slip his arm into the sling she stood up to untangle the strap. "There, you're all set," she said as she stood in front of him and finished straightening the strap behind his neck. "Keep it dry, in the sling and watch it when you cut your morning bagel," said Elizabeth, trying to lighten things up just a little. Unfortunately Robert's reaction was not what she had hoped. Still staring at his fingers, he didn't even raise his head. Taking a glance at the windows Elizabeth noticed all the blinds were wide open. She lacked the energy to close them and more importantly, she realized she didn't care all that much who saw them. "Robert," she said softly as she tipped his chin up so she could look him in the eye. He met her gaze with watery eyes that broke her heart. "You don't deserve this," she whispered as she cupped his cheeks and planted a kiss on his forehead, "You don't," she repeated. He nodded his head a little and forced a smile that didn't quite ring true.

"I'm going to go back to my office for a little while and then head home," he sighed wearily as he rubbed at his eyes and stood up.

"Do you want some company tonight?" asked Elizabeth. She didn't want to push him to talk anymore. An hour earlier she'd found him in his office, in the dark. His secretary, Margaret, had known him long

enough to know when something was really wrong. When he was merely pissed he slammed doors, yelled and kicked things. But when his world was crumbling down around him he brooded. He'd come back from his meeting with Donald sporting a sling he hadn't had on earlier and an utterly defeated look on his face. With not as much as a mutter in Margaret's direction he went into his office and closed the door. Ten minutes later Margaret still hadn't heard a sound from his office. It was dark; no light was peeking under the door. She knocked once and when she didn't get an answer she cracked the door open slightly and peeked her head in. When her eyes adjusted to the dark room she could make out Robert sitting with his feet propped up on his desk. His eyes were open but he was clearly miles away. She crept back out before he even noticed she was there. A quick phone call later Elizabeth had appeared at his office. Robert had given her the "Reader's Digest" version of what had happened. She listened with a sympathetic ear and then convinced him to let her take a look at his arm. So now it was clear he wasn't in the mood to talk anymore.

"I don't think so. I'm just going to go home and crash, see if I can get more than 5 straight hours of sleep." he replied as he stood up.

"Sounds like a good idea. Don't forget to eat something."

"Whatever," he mumbled, "Are you on tomorrow?"

"I'm on call. You?"

"Who knows? Kind of hard to figure out what exactly my job is at the moment," he said bitterly. Elizabeth just gave him a pointed look. "I'm off tomorrow," he said quietly.

"Good, get some rest. Call me if you need anything," she said as she gave him a quick hug.

"I will," he promised as he grabbed his lab coat and walked slowly out of the room. Elizabeth cleaned up the room was about to head into the hallway when she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," she called as she tucked her hair behind her ear. She turned to see Abby standing in the doorway.

"Everything ok, Dr. Corday?" she asked as she leaned against the jamb, folding her arms across her chest. When Elizabeth didn't answer she added, "There are rumors running around out here."

"I'm sure there are," she sighed as she sat down on one of the stools. Abby closed the door and sat down on the other stool. "So rumors about Dr. Romano or me or....us."

"About him. Nothing about the two of you, I assure you."

"I don't even care. We're two single adults, it's not like we are doing anything wrong. In fact we're not doing anything...."

"Too much information Dr. Corday," laughed Abby as she put her hands over her ears. Both of the women dissolved into giggles.

"Thanks. I needed a good laugh," said Elizabeth as she wiped her eyes.

"Glad I could help. Let me know if I can do anything else." said Abby sincerely.

"Thanks Abby. I have to go get Ella and head home."

"Have a nice night," said Abby as she opened the door and the two of them headed into the hallway.

*********

Robert got home about an hour later. Dorothy's car was in the driveway so he prepared himself for the "mother hen" imitation she was sure to subject him to. He dropped his briefcase in the foyer, his jacket over the banister and he kicked off his shoes on the way to the library to pour himself a drink. He was halfway down the hall when he heard her voice.

"You need to eat something before you hit the scotch," she called as she put the last of the groceries away.

He stopped short and turned towards the kitchen. "I thought you were the housekeeper, not my mother," he snorted as he walked in and sat down on a stool at the island.

"Well, your mother's not here now, is she?" Dorothy said crossing her arms over her chest, preparing to go one on one with her boss. "What are you eating? I just went to the store, the cabinets are full." Her stare let Robert know the best thing to do was choke down some dinner as quickly as possible.

"Tomato soup and grilled cheese," he answered, "I'll be down in a minute," I'm just going to change," he said as he slid off the stool and padded towards the stairs.

Ten minutes later, having changed into pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt he settled back down at the island in the kitchen with the newspaper. He reached for the glass of milk Dorothy had poured for him as he started to scan the headlines to find out what had gone on in the world while he was busy at the hospital. She set down a bowl of soup in front of him and held out a spoon. "Do you want crackers?" she asked as she put her hand over the newspaper to get his attention.

"Huh?" he mumbled, looking up at her.

"Crackers, do you want any?" said Dorothy with mock annoyance in her voice.

"No...no thank you," he said with a small smile. He pushed the paper aside a little and moved the bowl in front of him. He ate the soup while Dorothy finished making his sandwich. "Well..."

"Well, what?" asked Dorothy as she slid the steaming sandwich onto a small plate and set it on the island.

"Aren't you going to ask how my day was?" he said bitterly.

"Well, let's see, your arm is in the sling, you're grumpy and you basically look like hell. I'm a pretty smart gal, I can tell it was crappy," she said with a smile as she poured herself a cup of tea and took a seat across from him. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Then why are you bothering me?" she teased.

"Cause it's what we do," he said simply. Truth was, he considered Dorothy to be one of his closest friends. She had been there for him for 5 years. She'd spent the past 10 months helping him get his life back together. She did the usual housekeeper duties, cooking, cleaning and errand running but her duties encompassed much more than that. She was the den mother, the morale officer and the friendly face at the end of a long day. She knew when to push him to talk and when to back off. She could read his mind and his moods, much to his chagrin at times. When he'd first come home from the hospital she all but moved into the guest room to take care of him. She monitored his medication, his home therapy and all the appointments. She spent hours trying to entertain him and keep his spirits up. They played endless games of chess and gin rummy. She claimed he still owed her $30,000 from their card games and she frequently reminded him of that fact.

As Dorothy flipped through a magazine Robert ate a little soup and picked at the sandwich. Every once in a while he'd look up to find her glaring at him and he'd take a bite of something to appease her. When he'd choked down most of the soup and half the sandwich she got up from the stool and rinsed her tea cup. "I'm going to head home. I'll be over in the morning."

"What for? To check up on me?" he asked, trying to sound annoyed but not even coming close.

"Obviously. When you're done drinking don't forget to take some Advil before you fall asleep," she teased.

"Thanks for the medical advice," he smirked as he gave her a little wave.

"Good night, Robbie," said as she made a quick getaway down the hall.

"Don't call me that," he yelled over his shoulder with a laugh. "See you tomorrow." He heard the front door close and her car head down the drive. Gretel wandered in the kitchen and nosed at the cabinet until Robert stood up and got her a biscuit. He put his dishes in the dishwasher and wiped off the island. Reaching his original destination he poured himself a glass of scotch and settled down on the couch next to Gretel. Propping his feet on the coffee table he clicked on the television. A quick run through of the channels yielded nothing that grabbed his attention. He settled on ESPN out of habit more than anything. Fifteen minutes later he got up to pour another drink, deciding to just put the bottle on the coffee table to save on trips across the room.

An hour later he was halfway through the bottle when heard the phone ring. NOt wanting to talk to anyone he let the machine pick it up. Elizabeth's voice floated through the room. "Robert, it's me. I was just calling to see if you're doing ok. I know you don't want to talk and I respect that. But I'm worried about you. If you're there, do me a favor, page me, let me know you're home. I'll call you in the morning. Bye." Robert sighed as he picked the phone up off the end table. As his finger hovered over the buttons he considered calling her and actually talking but as he took a glance at the half empty bottle he knew coherent conversation probably wasn't an option. He dialed her pager number and left the simple text message, "I'm fine". Turning the ringer off he got up to use the bathroom, stumbling slightly as he crossed the room.

Gretel followed him down the hall and waited for him while he was in the bathroom. When he emerged she barked a little and headed for the back door. Robert let her out, stepping out onto the deck for a breath of fresh air. The warm temperatures they had enjoyed during the beginning of March were a memory and the normal chilly Chicago weather had returned. The night was clear but windy and it wasn't long before Robert was calling Gretel so he could head inside where it was warm.

The pair settled back down in the library. Robert started a fire in the fireplace and settled down in the arm chair with the bottle of scotch. Too lazy to get back up and grab the glass off of the end table he just drank out of the bottle. The next few hours flew by as he lost himself in the flames and his thoughts. Eventually the bottle was empty and it slipped from his grasp, clattering to the floor and rolling until it reached the edge of the hearth. The sound woke Gretel from her nap and she walked over to rest her head on Robert's knee. He reached out in his daze and petted her softly. Eventually he got up, stiff and sore from sitting in one position for so long. Holding onto the furniture and the walls for a little balance he went into the kitchen for a glass of water. Hearing Dorothy's voice echo in his head he grabbed the bottle of Advil and took three with the water.

At the bottom of the stairs he pondered the likelihood that he'd actually make it up the stairs without falling. Deciding it wasn't too likely he headed back to the library. Curled up on the couch under the afghan he turned off the television and fell asleep listening to the sounds of the wind roaring outside and the tap of Gretel's tail against the hardwood floor.

*****************

The early morning sun streaming through the sliding glass door woke Robert early the next morning. He threw his right arm over his eyes to ward off the offending brightness. Gretel was nudging his shoulder, trying to let him know she needed to go out. "Just a minute girl. Let me make sure I'm living first," he muttered as he lifted his head a few inches off the pillow and glanced at the clock on the mantel, 6:30. As expected his head was pounding and his stomach wasn't exactly settled. Gretel walked to the door and started to bark. The noise echoed around Robert's head as he dropped it back on the pillow. Gretel barked again. "OK, ok, I'll get up if you stop barking," he muttered as he swung his legs over the side of the couch.

So far, so good.

Pushing off with his good arm he sat up slowly, trying not to raise his head any further than necessary. He leaned forward enough to get some momentum going and he stood on shaky legs. Luckily it was less than a dozen steps to the door. He reached for it with his eyes practically closed against the bright sunlight. Gretel bounded out the door and he slid it shut, intending to just leave her outside for a while.

It was now decision time. Go back to the couch, heed the call of nature or get a drink and some more Advil. He decided on options B and C as he headed for the bathroom. The decision to look in the mirror was one he regretted instantly. It almost as if he didn't recognize his own reflection. Dark circles under his eyes stood in stark contrast to his pale complexion. Two days worth of stubble peppered his chin and there was a bit of dried drool at the corner of his mouth. He leaned over to splash cold water on his face. It helped a little. He reached for the toothbrush to get rid of the god-awful taste in his mouth.

Bad idea.

The instant the sharp mint of the toothpaste touched his tongue he retched.

Half an hour later he was still sitting on the floor of the bathroom, head down, shaking badly. He heard the front door open and Dorothy's overly cheery voice calling to him. With a sigh he reached to push the door open and call to her. Her feet appeared in his line of vision a few minutes later, as she clucked her tongue at him. Knowing him as she did, she handed him a can of ginger ale, wet a washcloth and handed it to him. "So, waiting to puke or are you done?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Your concern overwhelms me, Dorothy," he groaned, his voice weak and raspy.

"Well?"

"Done," he said as he tossed the washcloth into the sink, "For now," he added.

"You need some Advil?" Robert just shook his head, "Not yet," he answered, not quite ready to put anything on his stomach. Dorothy held out her hand and helped pull him to his feet. "Go lie back down. I'm going to gather up the stuff for the dry cleaners. You want a sweatshirt?" she asked as she could feel him shivering as she guided him down the hall with one hand against his back. He nodded and she left him in the doorway to the library, satisfied that he could make it the last ten feet to the couch under his own power. By the time Dorothy came back downstairs with an armful of shirts and pants for the cleaners Robert was dozing. She tossed the sweatshirt on the end of the couch and pulled the extra afghan off the chair and covered him up a little more. Finding the remnants of his evening home alone she picked up the glass and the empty bottle to take them to the kitchen. She cracked the sliding door open and let Gretel in. She left the door opened a few inches to let in some fresh air.

Dorothy considered calling Elizabeth but it was still early so she decided to just wait. It wasn't like there was anything wrong. Robert got drunk, puked and fell back to sleep; no big deal. It wasn't like it was the first time and she was sure it wouldn't be the last time either. She opened the fridge and the freezer checking out a couple of things, even though she just went to the store the day before.

In the previous 10 months Dorothy had come to learn what Robert could keep down when he wasn't feeling well. He'd had a really rough time with pain medication when he first came home from the hospital. It had taken a good two weeks to find the right combination that didn't leave him heaving every hour. She'd learned that he could usually keep down lemon water ice, saltines or vanilla pudding. And if things were really bad he would drink orange Gatorade. The only thing she found in the kitchen was a box of crackers. She tore a piece of paper off of the memo pad stuck to the fridge and started a list.

She took a can of ginger ale out of the refrigerator and a sleeve of saltines from the box. Deciding that maybe a Tupperware bowl by the couch was a good idea she pulled one out of the cabinet. Sneaking down the hall she went to check on her boss before heading out to run a few errands. Robert was sound asleep, curled up on his side, facing the back of the couch. His left arm was resting at an odd angle so she gently stuck a pillow under it and propped it up a little. She had scribbled a note for him and left it by the ginger ale.

After dropping off the dry cleaning and fighting with the Saturday morning crowds at the grocery store Dorothy pulled into the driveway a little after 10. She grabbed two of the bags, opting to come back for the last one. At a few months shy of 70 she didn't need to be lugging around grocery bags 3 at a time. As she opened the front door she was met by Gretel who ran out and bounded across the yard to go sniff at the bushes. Dorothy dropped the bags in the foyer and went back to the car to pick up the last of the bags. Calling for Gretel she headed into the house, stuck the frozen items in the freezer and headed to the library to check on Robert. He wasn't in there and she glanced down the hall towards the bathroom. The door was cracked open and she heard him blowing his nose. "Dr. Romano, you ok? she asked, using a little formality as she knocked lightly.

"No," he said weakly as he coughed and retched again.

Dorothy pushed the door open enough to sneak in. Robert was kneeling in front of the toilet, looking and sounding absolutely miserable. With practice ease that came from raising 3 kids of her own she leaned down to rub his back with one hand while wetting a wash cloth with the other. "Ready to sit back?" she asked as he managed to take a few deep breaths. He nodded his head slightly as he reached for the can of ginger ale that was sitting on the edge of the sink. He swished a little around his mouth and spit before he sat back against the wall. Dorothy flushed, put the damp cloth on the back of his neck and lowered the toilet lid down so she could sit. She had sympathy for him but wasn't about to sit on the floor, she had her limits. "Just how much did you drink?" she asked curiously.

"Let's just leave it at too much," he moaned as he propped his head up in his right hand.

"Would you like me to call Elizabeth?"

"No...yes...I don't know," he sighed.

"I'll take that as a yes. I picked up some things at the grocery store. You need to put something on your stomach."

"What did I tell you about handing out medical advice?" he teased weakly.

"Take my advice, don't take it. It's up to you Robbie. But I'm getting a little tired of seeing you hanging with your head over the bowl."

"Don't call me that," he smirked. "And what happened to you? When I first hired you, you were polite..formal..nice."

"I blame my attitude change on you. Live with it," she grinned as she reached to pat his shoulder.

"Or I could just fire you," he teased as he held out his hand so she could help him up.

"Yeah because it'll be so easy to find another housekeeper who does what I do." she smirked as she stood next to him, wanting to make sure his legs were going to hold him up. He seemed to be relatively steady as he once again attempted to brush his teeth. Dorothy left him alone and headed for the kitchen to call Elizabeth and set out a cup of lemon water ice for him.

Elizabeth was passing through the kitchen when the phone rang. "Hello," she said, sending up a small prayer that it wouldn't be the hospital. Kris had just gotten there and Elizabeth was trying to get out of the house alone and run a few errands. Maybe even go out to Starbucks for a decent cup of coffee in peace and quiet.

"Good morning Elizabeth, it's Dorothy."

"Good morning. What did he do?" she asked as she hunted for her sneakers.

"Uh, made friends with a bottle of scotch last night. Threw himself a big pity party," replied Dorothy as Robert entered the kitchen and took a seat at the island. She wordlessly pushed the cup of italian ice towards him and handed him a spoon. "Elizabeth," she mouthed as she pointed to the phone. He gave a little smile but made no attempt to grab the phone.

"And the party has moved to the bathroom?" Elizabeth guessed.

"Exactly. He's pretty miserable at the moment. I'm trying to get him to put something on his stomach. He looks really pale. And he doesn't seem to be getting annoyed that I'm telling you all of this."

"That's not a good sign. Sounds like it might be more than a hangover. Is he right there?"

"Yeah, he's sitting here at the island."

"Put him on," requested Elizabeth as she sat down on the couch to tie her shoes.

"Hey Lizzie," he said, his voice raspy.

"You sound horrid Robert. Are you sure it's just a hangover?"

"I don't know," he whispered, the sound of his voice breaking her heart. "Can you come over?"

"Certainly. Kris just got here; I'll be there in a little while. Would you like some Compazine?"

"Yeah," he whispered as if what little energy he had suddenly went away. He handed the phone back to Dorothy and gently pushed aside his spoon and rested his head on the table.

"Elizabeth?"

"He sounds horrid. Is he running a fever?"

Dorothy reached over and gently pressed the back of her hand against his stubbled cheek. "He's very warm," she said as she crossed the room and grabbed the ever present bottle of Advil. "I'll see if he can get some Advil down. Are you coming over?"

"I'll be there in about 20 minutes. You'll stay until I get there?"

"No problem. He is in no shape to be left alone. I'll see you soon."

Elizabeth hung up the phone, grabbed her purse, pager and car keys as she called for Ella. She kissed her daughter and headed out the front door.

*******************

By the time Elizabeth got to Robert's he'd managed to take the Advil and eat a few bites of italian ice before stumbling back to the couch in the library. Gretel, knowing something wasn't right, was practically glued to his side. Dorothy greeted her and then went to gather her things. She was babysitting her grandson that afternoon and had to get going. Elizabeth heard the front door shut as she entered the library. Gretel raised her head and when she recognized Elizabeth got up to greet her.

Robert was curled up in the fetal position on the couch under a couple of afghans. He was on his right side facing the back of the couch. Elizabeth perched on the edge next to him and reached to feel his forehead. To her dismay but not her surprise he was running quite a fever. At the feeling of her cool hand against his forehead Robert rolled over onto his back, struggling to open his eyes and focus. "Lizzie?" he gasped, his voice barely audible.

"It's me. Don't talk," she said as she reached for his right wrist. She glanced at her watch to take his pulse. "A little fast," she muttered more to herself than to him. "Close your eyes, I'm going to turn on the light for a minute," she said as she reached over and flicked on the lamp. Robert groaned and shielded his eyes with his right hand. He felt a pulling sensation in his left shoulder as Elizabeth picked up his left hand and carefully pressed down on the nail beds, checking the cap refill. He uncovered his eyes just enough to see her reaction. "It's fine, she assured him, "Is the thermometer upstairs?"

"What, didn't bring your little black bag?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Just figured I didn't need it," she answered with a laugh. "You have a blood pressure cuff here?"

"Linen closet," he whispered.

"I'll be right back down. Stay here." she said as she patted his arm and stood up.

"Like I could really get up and go anywhere," he said with as much of a smile as he could muster.

Gretel got up and was torn between following Elizabeth and staying with Robert. In the end she flopped down in the hall where she could keep an eye on him and still see the stairs. Elizabeth grabbed the thermometer out of the medicine cabinet and headed back into the hall to the linen closet. She grabbed the blood pressure cuff and the stethoscope before going back downstairs.

Robert had dozed off again in the two minutes she'd been gone. "Robert, come on, sit up for a minute," she said as she crossed the room and pulled the shade on the sliding glass door open a little to get some light into the room. He moaned at the brightness as he struggled to sit up. He held his right arm out to Elizabeth who'd taken a seat on the coffee table. Blood pressure was a little low and his fever was hovering just over 101. "I have a shot of Compazine. Do you want it?" she asked. Robert nodded. Elizabeth gave him the shot and then sat on the coffee table to get a good look at him. Horrid was the first word that came to mind. "OK, let me get you something to drink and we are going to have a little talk," said Elizabeth as she stood up.

"Oh, goody. Can hardly wait," Robert mumbled.

Elizabeth grabbed a bottle of orange Gatorade from the fridge and the rest of his italian ice from the freezer. "I don't care what you start with but you need to get something down before you start to dehydrate," she said as she sat down next to him. He took the water ice from her and stabbed at it a little to break it up. "OK, so you had a little pity party last night. Given how lousy you feel do you think you're just hung-over?" asked Elizabeth as she turned sideways to face him, tucking her feet under her.

"There could be more to it," he admitted. "I drank a lot, but I didn't drink until I passed out or anything."

"OK. So let's see. Pressure's low, temp is up, head hurts, and you're obviously pretty nauseous. Anything else?"

"My back hurts. Could be from sleeping on the couch, I don't know," he whined.

"Or we could be looking at kidney infection, stone, UTI..."

"Or it could be from the damn couch," he repeated, sighing wearily.

"Yes, it could be. So here's the deal," Elizabeth said as she took the empty cup and spoon from him and put them on the end table. Robert put a pillow in her lap and curled up. "If you can keep something down and your temp doesn't hit 102 we'll stay here. Provided I don't get paged. If I have to go in, you're coming with me and I'm hooking you up to an IV pole."

"Deal," muttered Robert not really holding out any great hope that he would make it through the day without a visit to the ER. He dozed off quickly with his head in Elizabeth's lap, her hand rubbing slow, soothing circles over his stomach. She stayed on the couch with him for a while, watching him sleep.

Eventually Elizabeth slipped off the couch, taking care not to wake Robert. She wandered around the house for a while, made herself a sandwich and ate while she read a few for a while. She had just put her plate in the dish drainer when she heard Robert get up and stumble to the bathroom. She sighed, knowing they would probably be making a trip to the ER soon. Gretel appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, her tail wagging. "I hear him," said Elizabeth as she reached down to pet Gretel, "Come on, let's go check on him," muttered Elizabeth.

The door to the bathroom was open but Elizabeth lightly knocked once before she went in. Robert was standing in front of the sink, splashing cool water on his face, clearly trying to keep down what little he'd eaten. "Come on, sit down before you fall over," she said as she pulled the towel off the rack and dried his face. Robert started to take a seat on the closed toilet lid but realized that probably wasn't the best idea. So he sat down on the floor. "I'll be right back," said Elizabeth as she dashed across the hall to grab an afghan off the couch. She sat down next to Robert, who promptly curled up with his head in her lap. Snagging the damp washcloth off the counter she put his on his forehead and draped the blanket around him. He was still for a while, taking even measured breaths to try and ward off the inevitable. As expected he wasn't very successful.

"I guess I just won a trip to the hospital?" he gasped as he sat back after a prolonged bout of dry heaving. Elizabeth nodded as she wiped his face.

"Rest for a few minutes. I'll get you a clean shirt and some sneakers. I'm going to call ahead. Where would you be more comfortable, in the ER or upstairs?"

"Oh, go for broke, book me a suite," he smirked as he rubbed his eyes and smiled wryly.

Elizabeth chuckled as ran up the stairs to grab some things. She pulled a clean t-shirt from the drawer and a sweatshirt from the hook on the back of the door. It took her a minute to find his sneakers but she finally saw them peeking out from under the bed.

Robert had managed to drag himself off the floor of the bathroom and was sitting on the landing at the bottom of the stairs. His head resting back against the dark paneling. He had next to no color in his face, his freckles standing out in stark contrast against his pale skin. Elizabeth sat down on the bottom step in front of him and leaned over to kiss the top of his head as she reached to grasp the hem of his navy blue t-shirt. She pulled the clean black one over his head, carefully slipping his left arm in. "Here, put this on," she said as she handed him the grey zip up sweatshirt. "Where's your wallet?"

"Kitchen counter."

Elizabeth found his wallet, grabbed a bottle of Gatorade, a bowl and towel, just in case. Turned out to be a good idea.

When they got to the hospital things were thankfully busy. They managed to sneak through the ER without being noticed. Elizabeth steered him towards the elevator and up to the 4th floor. They had a room waiting for them. "Put on a gown," said Elizabeth with the straightest face she could manage.

"Tell me you're kidding," he groaned as he toed off his shoes and slipped off the sweatshirt.

"Yes, Robert I am," she grinned. "But fill this before you get comfortable." she said as she tossed him a specimen cup.

"Great, just great. I've spent the better part of the day puking my guts up and now I have to piss in a cup," he snorted as he went into the bathroom.

"Well, Robert, there are other options," she reminded him he closed the door.

"You are enjoying my misery way too much Lizzie," he shot back as he flicked on the light.

Half an hour later Elizabeth had drawn blood and sent both samples to the lab, started an IV and was currently sitting next to Robert on the bed as he leaned over a basin dry heaving. "What a way to spend my day off," she mused as she rubbed his back.

"Not...exactly....a picnic for....me either," gasped Robert as he held out his hand for a tissue.

"I know. Shhh, it's ok. Just take a deep breath," she whispered as she took the tissue and handed him a cup of water. "Rinse, don't try and drink any yet."

She got him cleaned up and settled back on the bed. Not impressed with his color she stuck an O2 sensor on his finger and waited for a reading. With a shake of her head she reached for a set of nasal prongs and slipped them on. "OK, I'm going to go check on your lab work. You'll be ok by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Lizzie, I'm not a child," he whined, giving a very good impression of one.

"I'll take that as a yes. Here's the call button," she said as she moved it closer to his right hand. Close your eyes and try to get some rest," she said as she leaned over and pressed her lips to his forehead. She got onto the elevator to go to the lab without looking back at his room. Had she looked back she would have seen Kerry knock once and go right in the room.

******************

Kerry snuck into the room. Robert's eyes were closed and he didn't move. She walked over and picked up the chart Elizabeth had left on the tray next to the bed.

"Back so soon," whispered Robert, without opening his eyes.

The sound of his voice startled Kerry. "Uh, no Robert, it's Kerry."

"Oh, come back to take something else from me? I'm afraid I don't have much left to take," he spit harshly as he searched for the button to raise the bed a little. He fumbled for a few seconds trying to find it. Kerry started to help but he snarled at her, causing her to rethink stopping by for a visit. "Did you have a reason for coming up here? And how the hell did you know I was up here?"

"Word travels fast. I came by to see if you were ok." she said as she tried to casually put down the chart she still held in her hand.

"Give me that," he snapped, holding out his hand for the chart. "Obviously confidentiality means nothing to you."

Kerry tossed the chart back on the tray. "Look Robert. What happened yesterday was not my idea. I was not after your job."

"Like hell you weren't," he snorted.

"You should have just taken Donald's offer," she said as she leaned against the far wall.

"His offer to what? Share the paperwork with you? No way. I can push paper with one hand, I don't need help."

"No, Robert, you do need help. You need more help than you can imagine."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he snorted as he reached for the cup of water on the table. He took a sip and put it back down and pushed the table away with a little more force than necessary. He ended up sending the tray table rolling across the floor. It crashed into the far wall and tipped enough to send the chart, the cup and the water pitcher clattering to the floor. It was at that moment Elizabeth stepped back into the room. She just shook her head at the scene in front of her. Robert was sitting up in bed, pale as the sheets, holding his left arm against his chest, gasping as he tried to catch his breath. Yelling at Kerry had taken a lot out of him, that was clear. Kerry hadn't moved from where she was leaning against the wall opposite the door.

"Kerry, what are you doing here?" asked Elizabeth as she picked up the pitcher, cup and chart before dropping a towel on the floor to wipe up the water.

"I just came to check on Robert, see if I could help," she said, trying her best to convey the picture of innocence. Something Elizabeth saw clear through. "And to ask him a few questions, administrative things."

"Oh, you don't really expect me to believe that rubbish. You don't care what happens to him. And does he really look like he's in the mood to discuss any administrative business with you?" snorted Elizabeth as she leaned over to picked up the wet towel. "We're waiting for some lab work and he needs some rest.

"She knows all about the lab work you ordered. She decided to read my chart while she thought I was asleep," snorted Robert as he started to cough a little. Elizabeth went to his side and rubbed his back while Kerry stood frozen by the end of the bed, arms crossed over her chest. "Kerry, if you want to help you could get another pitcher of water," said Elizabeth as she rolled her eyes at the other woman as she took the nasal oxygen tubing Robert had pulled off.

Kerry moved across the room to the bathroom. She handed Robert a cup of water and grabbed a basin as his coughing was rapidly moving towards retching. Elizabeth took the basin and looked over her shoulder at Kerry. "Just get out," she said flatly.

"Fine I will leave BOTH of you alone," she said, emphasizing the word both. Elizabeth just rolled her eyes while Robert brought his left hand up and used his chin to prop up his middle finger at Kerry's retreating form. Elizabeth laughed as she sat next to him. "You ok?" she asked, wanting to know if it was safe to move the basin.

"Yeah, I'm not going to puke," he whined as he curled up. "Any test results back yet?" Elizabeth nodded and handed him the paper with the results. "So, looks like a UTI." he groaned. "Just what I need."

"I ordered Bactrim and I want to get an ultrasound of your kidneys after you settle down a little. Just want to make sure there aren't any stones floating around." Robert nodded in agreement. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Yeah."

"Cranberry juice?" she asked with a wicked grin.

"Fine," growled Robert as he clicked on the television. "Just hang out the "Do not disturb" sign on the door. The last thing I need is a friendly visit from Anspaugh."

"I'll be right back," she said as she leaned over to kiss his cheek. She went to grab a bottle of cranberry juice from the cafeteria. She was stopped by no less than 4 people inquiring about Robert's condition. Apparently they hadn't made it through the ER with as much stealth as they had thought. As she was coming off the elevator with cranberry juice and some vanilla ice cream for Robert and a cup of coffee for herself her pager went off. It was the ER. She dropped the juice and the ice cream on the tray in his room. He was half asleep so she just told the nurse on duty that she would be back as quickly as possible.

The consult in the ER turned out to be nothing major. No surgery was needed and the patient was moved upstairs to medicine. Elizabeth ducked into the lounge to refill her coffee cup before heading back upstairs. Abby was on the couch reading a magazine, clearly on her break. "Hi, Dr. Corday," said Abby.

"Hi, Abby." said Elizabeth as she looked at the younger woman's face. It was clear she was about to ask her something about Robert so Elizabeth decided to just go ahead and answer her unasked question. "Yes, the rumor is true, I admitted Robert, he's upstairs." she said with an edge to her voice that really wasn't called for at that moment.

"I didn't ask," said Abby quietly. "I was considering it but I didn't ask."

"I know Abby, I'm sorry. You've been rather understanding these last few weeks. He has a UTI and is having trouble keeping anything down."

"Any stones?"

"I'm going up to do an ultrasound now."

"Tell him I hope he feels better and I'll stop by later, after I'm off," she said as she tossed the magazine aside and stood up to go back to work.

"Thanks. I will tell him that. Sorry for snapping, it's just....it's been a long few days."

"I would imagine it has been." said Abby as she walked out of the room.

When Elizabeth got back up to Robert's room he was curled up on his side, facing away from the door. She couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake so she entered quietly and carefully sat down on the bed. She leaned over a little to get a look at his face. He was awake and obviously uncomfortable. "Robert, are you ok?" He shook his head a little. "Back hurts?"

"Yeah," Robert gasped as his right hand clenched at the sheets.

"OK. Can you sit up for a minute?" she asked as she untangled his fingers from the sheets. Robert nodded and Elizabeth helped him sit up. "Which side?" she asked as she pulled up the back of his t-shirt.

"Left," he muttered as he leaned forward a little. Elizabeth ran her fingers along the lower edge of his rib cage, probing gently as she moved from his spine outward. She felt him flinch as she got to the spot right above his hip. "OK, relax. I am going to see if I can track down a portable ultrasound. Do you want something for pain?"

"No," Robert replied adamantly.

Elizabeth drew in a sharp breath, not really in the mood to fight with him about pain medication. "Fine," she sighed. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Elizabeth managed to track down the ultrasound machine with the help of one of the nurses. By the time she got back to Robert's room he was fighting the urge to cry out from the pain. "Demerol?" she asked with an edge of annoyance to her voice. A slight nod was her answer. The nurse headed to get the pain medication, leaving Elizabeth to do the ultrasound. "OK, roll onto your right side," she said as she pushed his t-shirt up and out of the way before grabbing the bottle of gel. "This is going to be cold," she warned as she squirted a little on his side. He flinched a little as the gel hit his warm skin. She moved the transducer over his back and side trying to see if she could spot any stones.

"Anything?" he gasped as another wave of pain shot through his back.

"It's hard to tell. Looks like a very small one but I can't be sure."

"Let me see," said Robert as he craned his neck to see the monitor. Elizabeth reached out and turned it towards him a little. She held the transducer in her right hand while pointing out her findings on the screen with her left. "I can't tell from that."

"Let me print a picture to stick in the chart."

"So what do you suggest Dr. Corday?" he asked with a small grin.

"Well, since you've had a stone before you tell me. If you think it feels the same then I suggest we hold off on an IVP and just try and make it through the night. You should be able to pass it."

"It feels the same as last time. Guess we should just wait for a little while, see what happens." he muttered shrugging his shoulders a little unsure of what to do.

"Sounds good. Once you get some Demerol you'll feel better," she assured him as she pulled the picture out of the little printer. She tucked it into the chart and grabbed a tissue to clean him up. As she wiped the gel off his side she got a look at the scar over his ribcage. It was about 4 inches long, at the same level as the scar on his arm. A terrible thought crossed her mind as she gently fingered the pale pink scar.

What if he'd been standing 3 inches closer to the helicopter?

He wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed, face clenched in pain, an all but useless left arm draped across his chest.

He would be dead.

"Lizzie....Lizzie," said Robert quietly.

"Sorry, I was just...I was just thinking." she admitted with a weak smile as she ran her finger over the scar.

"Yeah, I know. The scar's pretty unimpressive, when compared to the other one. But another couple of inches...." his voice trailed off as the nurse entered the room with a syringe full of Demerol. Elizabeth pulled his shirt back down and he rolled onto his back. She injected the meds into the IV line and put the syringe in the sharps container on the wall. A quick check of his temperature showed his fever was still up, 101.2.

"I'm going to call Kris and check on Ella. Try and drink some of this," she said, handing him the bottle of juice. She got up from the bed and called Kris. It turned out Kris was about to call Elizabeth. She had a minor family emergency and needed to drop Ella off. "OK, I have to go downstairs and meet Kris. She's going to drop Ella off; she has a minor family emergency."

"Lizzie, if you have to go home then go home. I'm fine."

Elizabeth's response to his comment was a very unladylike snort. "Not really. Besides, apparently Ella has been asking for you all day."

Robert's face brought out into a grin. "Good. Wake me when she gets here." he muttered as the Demerol started to take effect and his eye lids started to flutter.

"Sleep," whispered Elizabeth as she kissed him softly.

*******************

Elizabeth talked to Robert's nurse and told her to page her when he woke up. After meeting Ella and Kris at the ambulance bay Elizabeth managed to stall her daughter for almost 2 hours while Robert got some sleep. They had an early dinner in the cafeteria and visited the ER for a while. Elizabeth managed to steer clear of Kerry but it was hard to avoid the whispers that seemed to follow her around. The whispers that were constantly fueled by Ella asking when she could go up and see Robert or "Wob" as she called him. Finally Ella and Elizabeth went to Robert's office to grab some toys, coloring books and the box of crayons he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk. Ella went right for the bag of M&M's she knew were in the middle drawer. "Oh, no not the whole bag," Elizabeth teased as she held out her hand for the bag. She put a handful of the candies on the desk and put the rest of the bag on the bookshelf, out of Ella's reach. While Ella divided the M&M's into little piles Elizabeth put on a video for her and went into Robert's bathroom to grab his toothbrush. She rummaged through the closet for a sweatshirt for herself. She only had on a t-shirt and was getting chilly. Pulling on the grey crew neck sweatshirt she found hanging on the back of the door she inhaled deeply the scent of Tide, Robert's cologne and the vague hospital smell that seemed to permeate every piece of clothing they owned. The combination of the scent and the soft feel of the worn cotton were comforting and Elizabeth flopped down on the couch for a few minutes while Ella was occupied by the pile of M&Ms. She wrapped herself in the afghan and relaxed for the first time all day. She dozed for a while as Ella watched the video and played with a few toys. When the video ended Ella climbed in her lap and snuggled against her neck. "Mommy," she muttered as she gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, sweetie." Elizabeth said as she struggled to open her eyes and focus. "Did you finish the candy?" Ella nodded and held up her sticky hands for Elizabeth to see. "Oh my. Let's go into Robert's bathroom and wash your hands."

"Wob, Wob," sang Ella as she let Elizabeth wash her hands and face. As she hung up the towel her pager vibrating against her hip. She glanced at the readout; it was the number for Robert's room. She figured he woke up wondering where she was. She sat down at Robert's desk and dialed the number. It turned out Abby was the one who paged her. She had gone up to visit Robert after her shift ended. He had just woken up as she got there and he was pretty miserable. So she paged Elizabeth for him.

"We can go check on Robert now," said Elizabeth as she looked in the mirror and frowned at her reflection. She took her hair out of the ponytail she had hastily put in before running out of the house that morning. Not having a brush with her she smoothed out her hair with her fingers as best she could before putting it back up. She grabbed the toys and things for Ella and Robert's portable CD player from the end table. Ella skipped down the hall towards the elevator, singing to herself as she went.

Abby was alone in the room when they got there. "He's in there," she said, pointing towards the bathroom. "He looks pretty miserable. What did the ultrasound show?"

"Looks like there is a small stone but we couldn't be sure. So he wants to just wait it out for a while, see what happens."

Robert opened the door and shuffled out, pushing the IV stand. Elizabeth caught Ella at the last possible second as the toddler launched herself at him. "Slow down sweetie, let Robert get back in bed," Elizabeth said as she moved to help him with the IV stand.

"Come on Ella. Why don't you show me your toys," said Abby as she held out her hand. Ella glanced at Robert, who winked at her. She took Abby's hand and walked her to the window sill, where Elizabeth had put down the toys.

Elizabeth helped Robert get settled into bed. She checked the IV line and his temperature, which was still hovering around 100. "Did you eat anything?" she asked as she motioned towards the dinner tray.

Robert shook his head, "I didn't even notice it was there. I must have been asleep. What did I get?"

Lifting the lid Elizabeth checked out the dinner situation. "Pasta, meatballs, salad, bread and mushy ice cream," she said as she glanced at Robert to get his reaction. It was what she expected, a look of disgust. She started to push the tray away when he held out his hand.

"I'll take the ice cream," he said with a grin.

While he ate the ice cream and drank some more cranberry juice Elizabeth checked the messages on her answering machine and Robert's. Both machines had messages from Dorothy who sounded a little worried. "Do you want me to call her?" asked Elizabeth as she held up the phone.

"No, I'll do it," sighed Robert as he took the phone. Elizabeth went out to the nurses’ station to grab a cup of tea and get some more juice for him. She caught the tail end of his conversation as she came back into the room.

"Yes, I'll call you tomorrow...don't call me that...good bye," he said with a laugh as he tossed the cell phone on the bed.

"What did she call you?" asked Elizabeth curiously.

"Robbie. She's the only one who can get away with it,” explained Robert, "And only once in a while," he added.

"That's sweet," teased Elizabeth.

"Yeah, yeah" he muttered. "Seriously, she puts up with a lot of crap from me. I don't know how I would have made it through the last 10 months without her," he admitted.

"You're lucky to have her," replied Elizabeth as Ella pulled on her hand to get her attention. She picked her up and hugged her.

"I'm going to head home now. Hope you feel better Dr. Romano," said Abby as she patted his blanket covered foot.

"Thank you," he said sincerely with as much of a smile as he could muster up.

"Wob, Wob," said Ella as she rubbed her eyes tiredly as it was nearly her bedtime.

"Let's get you changed into your pajamas and then you can sit with Robert," said Elizabeth. While she changed Ella Robert used the bathroom again and brushed his teeth.

Ten minutes later Ella had her pajamas on, her teeth brushed and was curled up with Robert on the bed. He flicked on the television, turning to see what was on Nickelodeon. "Spuh Ba," cried Ella as the theme song to "Sponge Bob Squarepants" started. Robert dropped the remote as he had no chance of changing the channel from Ella's favorite show. As much as he hated to admit it he kind of enjoyed Sponge Bob. Elizabeth just shook her head at the pair; she had yet to figure out the appeal of a giant yellow sponge that looked like a piece of Swiss cheese with pants. But it kept Ella occupied for more than 5 minutes at a time and there wasn't much that could do that.

By the time the episode ended at 8:30 Ella was fast asleep, curled up with her head on Robert's chest. He was looking pretty relaxed himself as he absently ran his fingers through her curls. As usual he waved Elizabeth off when she tried to move her sleeping daughter. "Leave her for a while," he whispered as he clicked off the television.

"Do you need anything?" asked Elizabeth as she kicked her shoes off and pulled one of the chairs next to the bed. Robert shook his head and lowered the head of the bed a little to try and get comfortable. His left hand lay on the bed, palm up, fingers curled slightly. With her usual gentle touch Elizabeth took his hand in hers, stretching his fingers one by one as she felt the muscles relax. His eyes fluttered closed as he gave into his exhaustion and drifted off. She took a quick look under the bandage on his wrist; everything looked fine. She untangled the IV line from around Ella's fist and checked the insertion site on the back of his right hand. Finally satisfied that everything looked good she carefully picked Ella up and set her on the other bed, raising the side so she won't fall out. She was about to lie down next to Ella when she heard Robert moving around. He was trying to get the bottle of juice that was just out of his reach. "I thought you were asleep," she whispered as she handed him the juice and sat down next to him after putting up the other side on Ella's bed.

"I woke up when you moved her," he said, nudging his chin towards Ella. He took a few small sips of the juice, not wanting to tempt fate as it had been a while since he'd gotten sick. He scooted over as far as he could to the right side of the bed. Elizabeth flicked off the light over the bed and stretched out next to him. With the blankets pulled up around them she kissed his cheek and tangled her legs with his. She picked up his left hand and gently placed it on his stomach, covering it with her left hand. As Robert closed his eyes and was about to drift back off to sleep he gave her hand a squeeze. Running his fingers over hers he suddenly became aware that something was different, something was missing. Elizabeth felt his body stiffen up. "What's wrong," she asked as she was about to turn on the light. Robert grabbed her hand and prevented her from moving.

"When did you take it off?" he asked softly.

"My wedding ring. Uh, a couple of weeks ago. The night we went to dinner."

"And this is the first time I noticed? I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? It's not like I wore it all the time. I don't wear it in surgery and half the time I don't wear it when I do rounds."

"Did you take it off for me?" he asked, not really sure what he wanted her answer to be.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "No, I took it off for me. But I took it off because of you. Does that make sense?"

Robert nodded his understanding. He pulled her hand out from under the blankets and kissed it gently before tucking it against his heart and closing his eyes. "Sleep," she whispered as she put her head on his shoulder and closed her own eyes.

*****************

Half an hour later he was wide awake again. Elizabeth's patience was dwindling quickly as she reached out to rub his back to settle him down again. He was restless and unsure of what he wanted...or needed at the moment. He got up to use the bathroom again almost forgetting he was attached to the IV pole. He remembered about a second before he would have pulled it out. Cursing under his breath he grabbed the pole and pulled it along.

Elizabeth got herself a drink of water and mentally prepared herself to deal with a whiny, hurting, restless, stubborn "Rocket" Romano. He came out muttering a few minutes later, "A gallon of cranberry juice and still nothing." he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Give it time. If nothing happens by morning we can run some more tests," she said as she sat down next to him and reached to rub his back. He flinched. "I guess I don't have to ask about the pain?"

Robert shook his head.

"Do you want more Demerol?"

"No, not yet" he said adamantly.

"Robert," she said with a warning tone in her voice.

"Leave me alone," he said as he stood up and started to pace.

Elizabeth was a little taken back by his tone but she knew it wasn't directed at her. It came out of his pain, frustration and exhaustion. He walked to the window and sat down in the chair putting on the CD player Elizabeth had brought from his office. The night was clear and his room had one of the best views the hospital had to offer. Deciding that letting him brood was probably the best idea Elizabeth stepped out to get a cup of tea and take a walk.

The lights of the city blurred in his sight a while later as the pain got to be too much. He stumbled across the room and collapsed on the bed, curling up in a ball. When Elizabeth came back a few minutes later he was shaking, sweaty and miserable. He wiped his eyes and rolled over onto his back when he heard her open the door. She perched next to him on the bed and reached to feel his forehead. "OK, I'm not in the mood to fight with you. You need something to bring down your fever and you need something for pain," she said simply.

Before Robert had a chance to say anything his stomach revolted from the pain and he retched. She rolled him onto his side and lifted his head a little to shove a towel under it. "It's ok, just breathe," she whispered as she hit the call button. Since he'd eaten very little during the day he dissolved into a nasty bout of dry heaving. The nurse came in with the Demerol and injected it into his IV line.

"Do you need any help?" she asked Elizabeth before leaving the room.

Elizabeth shook her head, "We'll be fine." She got Robert cleaned up and settled down in the chair while she changed the sheets.

"How is she still asleep?" he muttered as he smiled at Ella.

"She can sleep through anything," replied Elizabeth. When she finished making up the bed she sat down on the arm of the chair. Robert slumped over, resting his head on her knee. She ran her hand over the back of his neck while she glanced out the window.

"Lizzie...Lizzie," he whispered.

"What?" she asked as she distractedly traced her fingers over the smooth skin on top of his head.

"You yell at Ella for doing that," he teased.

"What?" she muttered a second before she realized what she was doing. "Oh, sorry," she said with a laugh as she stilled her fingers.

"It's not a problem. It doesn't bother me. Actually at the moment it feels pretty good. Your hands are nice and cool."

Elizabeth ran her hand over his head one more time and stood up. "Come on, back to bed. You need some sleep."

"I've slept most of the day," he whined.

"OK. I need some sleep," she teased as she lay down on the bed.

Robert used the bathroom and drank some juice before he crawled in next to her. He fell asleep despite his protests that he wasn't tired.

The two of them slept soundly for the next few hours. Around 3 Robert woke up in pain again. He managed to sneak out of the bed without waking Elizabeth. He'd been in the bathroom for about twenty minutes when Elizabeth woke up and heard him cursing under his breath. She stumbled out of bed and knocked on the door. "Robert, you want me to come in?"

He didn't really want her to come in when he was in the middle of trying to pass a kidney stone but he knew there was no way she was going to just stand outside the door. Reaching behind him he opened the door enough to let her in. The sight of Robert sitting on the floor of the bathroom, arms wrapped around himself, with tears streaming down his face was enough to break Elizabeth's heart. She sighed and grabbed a couple of spare blankets out of the closet. She sat down next to him and tossed a blanket in her lap and spread the other on over his shoulders. Robert collapsed against her, head in her lap. His harsh breathing echoed off the walls, mixing with the gentle whispers of Elizabeth as she did what she could to try and calm him down.

Half an hour later, after another bout of vomiting and dry heaves Robert managed to pass the stone. By that point any lingering feelings of embarrassment had long been forgotten. Too weak and in too much pain he didn't care that Elizabeth was the one to be holding the strainer when he managed to pass the small stone. She set it aside, got his sweats pulled back up, his face and hands washed and handed him his toothbrush. While he brushed she grabbed a pair of gloves and put the stone in a plastic bag to send to the lab.

"OK, you ready to get back in bed?" she asked as she knelt next to him and wiped his face one more time. The only response she got was a barely perceptible nod. She grabbed his right hand and pulled him to his feet. He shuffled across the room while Elizabeth pulled the IV stand. It was almost 4:30 by the time she got him settled, hung a new IV bag, checked on Ella and ran the stone to the lab for analysis. She dragged herself up the stairs from the lab trying to decide if going back to sleep was worth it. Unfortunately she was on the schedule for that day. Her first scheduled surgery was 11:00. Kris was going to pick up Ella at 7:00. That would give her a few hours to catch some sleep on Robert's couch. But she was realistic, she hadn't had much sleep over the past few days so she crawled into the bed with Ella as Robert was sprawled out on the other bed and the last thing she wanted to do was to wake him.

She slept fitfully for the next few hours, waking just in time to get Ella dressed and go down to meet Kris. Gratefully taking the bag of clean clothes Kris brought for her she kissed Ella good bye. By the time she got back upstairs Robert was awake. He was curled up on his side looking out the window. The breakfast tray sat there untouched, the smell of bacon and eggs filling the room making Elizabeth realize just how hungry she was. "You should eat something," she said as she took the cover off the tray and moved it towards him.

"I'm not hungry," he spit out as he rolled away from her.

"Robert, I've only had a few hours sleep and I have to work today. I'm not in the mood to fight with you."

"Fine," he muttered as he rolled back over, sat up and picked up a piece of toast. Knowing that was probably the only thing he would eat on the tray Elizabeth picked up a piece of bacon and ate that as she sat next to him.

"You plan on letting me out of here soon?" he asked without making eye contact as he pulled on the sling.

"I wasn't keeping you captive Robert. When you think you can walk out of here under your own power, you are free to go," she said, holding back the annoyance as best she could.

"I'm ready then," he said as he tossed the rest of the toast back on the tray and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Not so fast. Could I maybe draw some blood and take out the IV first?" she asked as she put her hand on his shoulder to keep him on the bed.

"Fine. I just want to get out of here before Kerry decides to visit again," he said as he picked up the cup of orange juice.

"Robert, what happened when she was in here yesterday?" she asked as she reached for a set of gloves to draw the blood and take out the IV.

"Nothing," he muttered, sorry he had even brought up Kerry's name. "Owww" he whined as Elizabeth pulled the tape off his wrist.

"Don't whine," she said as she disconnected the IV tubing and drew some blood. She took the port out and pressed a gauze pad against the site. "Press down," she said without thinking.

"With what?" he snorted looking down at his arm in the sling.

"Use your imagination," she said as she raised his hand up, trapping the gauze pad between his wrist and his stubbled chin while she found a band-aid.

"Are you ready to talk yet?" she asked as she ate the last piece of bacon off the tray.

"About what?" he snorted.

"Robert," she sighed.

"OK. Kerry said something that just...I don't know..."

Elizabeth took a step forward and stood between his knees. She tentatively reached out to put her hands on his shoulders. "What happened?"

"I told her I didn't need help pushing paper, that I could do it just fine one-handed. She said I needed more help than I could imagine."

Elizabeth let out a harsh breath and pulled him closer, resting his head against her chest. "Robert, did you ever stop to think maybe she has a point?" She felt him try to pull away, as she had suspected he would. But she held on to him, not giving him a change to "run".

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what you think it means," she said calmly. "You have been through so much over the past 10 months; you need to talk to someone."

"I talk to you," he mumbled against the worn cotton of the sweatshirt she wore.

"Robert, that's not what I mean," she sighed as she loosened her hold on him.

"I don't need a shrink," he said, not really sounding all that confident.

Elizabeth took another deep breath and reached to lift up his chin so she could look him in the eye. "Robert, be realistic. You are not handling things well and you need help."

"I'm handling things just fine," he spit out as he moved away from her.

"Robert, listen to me. In the next few weeks your life is going to change dramatically. And I don't just mean here at work. I think you're going to have some life altering decisions to make in the near future. To put things bluntly, your recovery has stopped progressing and decisions will need to be made."

"Don't you think I know that," he spit out loudly and bitterly.

"I'm sure you are well aware of that," she spit right back. "But you are heading in a dangerous direction and I am worried about you."

"I never asked you to worry about me," he snorted as he stood up on shaking legs. Elizabeth reached out to steady him but he brushed away her efforts. He started to pace around, gathering his things. He tossed the CD player and his toothbrush in his duffel bag.

"I know you didn't. But I do worry about you Robert. Even if you push me away I'm not going to stop caring for you or worrying about you," she said as calmly as she could. She gathered her own things up and made a few notes in his chart before closing it up and walking it out to the nurses’ station. As she turned to go back into Robert's room her pager went off. She used the phone at the nurses’ station. It was Shirley calling her to say her 11:00 surgery was cancelled. As she hung up the phone she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. On the one hand it would be nice to have a few more hours to sleep but on the other hand having to leave soon and thus end the uncomfortable conversation they were in the middle of had its merits too.

She peeked in the door to see what Robert was doing. He was leaning against the end of the bed talking on the phone. She plastered on a fake smile and opened the door. "Shirley just paged me; my 11:00 got cancelled so I am free until this afternoon. You ready to go?" she asked as cheerfully as she could.

"I don't need a ride," he said matter of factly. "Why don't you sleep for a while in my office? While I still have one," he added under his breath.

"Hitch hiking your way home?" she asked.

"Dorothy is meeting me downstairs. I didn't think you had time to drive me and well, I wasn't too sure you'd want to spend any more time with me."

"I would have taken you home."

"Now you don't have to. I have to stop by my office and pick up my mail. Are you coming?" he asked flatly.

Elizabeth nodded and tossed her tote bag over her shoulder. Much to her surprise Robert let her pick up his bag as well. She dropped her things in his office and used the bathroom while he gathered together some stuff to take with him. When she got out of the bathroom he was looking out the window. A small part of her wanted to just turn and leave because she had no idea what to say to him. But something about the way he stood there, shoulders slumped, head hanging just broke her heart. She crossed the room and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him, careful of his left arm. Resting her chin on his shoulder she pressed her cheek against his, feeling the stubble there. "Maybe I'll just let it grow. Easier than shaving one handed," he mused as she lightly stroked his cheek.

"I kind of like it," she whispered. "Robert, are we ok?" she asked, not really knowing the answer.

"I don't know. I think we need a little time apart," he said with a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" she asked as she loosened her hold on him and turned him around.

"On one hand we think we need time apart and on the other we're not even sure we're together."

"Kind of odd, isn't it. But like we've said before, what we have works for us."

"At least most of the time," he said with a small smile. "I'll think about therapy," he said quietly.

"Good."

"I should go downstairs. Don't want to keep Dorothy waiting," he teased. "Lizzie, I'm sorry. I..."

"Robert, don't," she said as she pressed her finger to his lips. She moved her fingers and kissed him softly. She pulled away the second she felt her tears start. Robert wiped them away gently before picking up the mail off the desk and heading for the door.

"I'll call you later, I promise," he said as he left the room.

Elizabeth collapsed onto the couch, wrapping herself in the afghan. Despite her best efforts she cried herself to sleep.

Dorothy was waiting for Robert when he got downstairs. She took his bag from him and tossed it in the backseat while he walked around and climbed in the passenger's seat. She took a good look at him as she buckled her own seatbelt before reaching to help him with his. "Just say it," he muttered.

"Fine. Robbie, you look like crap," she said with a sad smile.

"Don't call me that." he grunted as he rested his head against the window and closed his eyes.

Dorothy chuckled and put the car into gear. She woke him up when they got to his house, lead him upstairs and tucked him in, against his feeble protests. While he slept she picked up his prescription, did some laundry and slit the envelopes on the mail he'd brought home from the hospital.

Robert only slept for about an hour. He got up, took a long hot shower and wandered downstairs a little before noon. For the first time in a few days he was actually hungry. Dorothy made them some sandwiches and a pot of tea. After he was done Robert grabbed the mail from the island, his mug of tea and went outside with Gretel. He sat down on the steps of the deck while Gretel ran around looking for her ball. It was a little chilly out but the sun was shining and the fresh air helped clear Robert's head and relax him a little. He flipped through the mail, there wasn't much of importance. At least not until he got to the last envelope. It was a memo from Donald Anspaugh. Robert pulled the letter out with his teeth and took a deep breath before unfolding the single sheet of paper.

He read the memo 3 times before it finally sank in.

He was the new Chief of Staff for the ER.

"Dammit, dammit dammit!" he yelled as he shoved the memo into the pocket of his sweatshirt.

Dorothy was washing the dishes in the kitchen when she heard him yelling. She quickly dried her hands and headed outside. Just as she pushed the sliding door open she wached him throw the mug across the yard. It hit the fence and by some stroke of luck didn't shatter. Gretel, thinking he was playing with her, ran across the yard to retreive it.

"Robbie?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her and pulled the memo out of his pocket and handed it to her, without bothering to comment on her use of the nickname. She read it silently, folded it back up and handed it back to him. He shoved it back in his pocket and gave Dorothy a weary smile.

"Anything I can do for you before I go?" she asked as she patted his left shoulder.

He shook his head and reached over to pat her hand. "I'm fine," he said quietly.

Dorothy knew that was a lie but she got up to leave anyway. On impulse she pressed a light kiss to his temple. "Don't brood Robbie," she said.

"Don't call me that," he said with a grin as he waved goodbye.

Gretel ran up to him and dropped the mug at his feet. "Well, Gretel, it's official. My life sucks," he said as he reached down to pet her.

THE END

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