Lockdown #5
To:noahswife@aol.com
From:jlyman@whitehouse.gov
Subject:Lockdown #5
Dear Mom,
I'm kind of surprised you haven't called yet. I know you've been glued to CNN for the past
few weeks so I assumed you would call to check up on me when you heard about
our latest lockdown. But maybe you
haven't heard, or maybe, more likely, you are waiting to see how long it would
take me to call you. I'm on to you
Mom. But it's late so I decided to send
this instead.
Anyway, we had our 5th lockdown in 3 weeks.
To call it highly annoying would be an understatement. It was so close to being out of the building
before this one happened. It was just 5:00 and I was trying to get out the door. I know, hard to believe I was actually
leaving at 5. Donna couldn't believe it
either but I was determined to leave and work at home, where it was quiet and I
was free to come and go as I pleased.
And no, before you ask, I wasn't dragging Donna along to help me. I thought about it, but after the whining I
did I'm sure she wouldn't have followed me even if I promised her take out
Chinese and a pint of Ben and Jerry's.
I had my backpack on my shoulder when she reminded me I had to meet with a
bunch of high school kids from the Presidential Classroom program. Apparently it had been on my schedule for a
while, but you know how often I actually consult my planner.
Anyway, we met them in the lobby and chatted for a minute. Until Donna noticed the light on the red
phone was blinking. Why is it, no matter
how long I am here, every time I see the red phone I think of Batman? Whatever.
The Secret Service asked me if the kids were with me. Seeing no way to deny they were with me we
were all escorted to the Mess.
At this point I was still slightly annoyed at having to play tour guide,
host or whatever to a bunch of overachievers.
Please stop laughing.
I had no idea how long we would be stuck in the Mess and my patience was
pretty non-existent. Donna suggested
that the kids might be a little scared and that maybe I should lighten up a
bit.
I did. I got them talking. Eventually the conversation turned to you. I
was talking about getting shot and one of them asked if I ever thought about
quitting. I told them you would be thrilled
to have me return to the private sector but that's not going to happen. I talked about the box in the trunk of my
car. Thanks, by the way, for sending
that hat. I had almost forgotten about
it. As I was telling the story I kind of
stopped short at one point and lost my train of thought for a split second as I
thought of the shooting and of Dad and Joanie.
Feeling myself get emotional, (which by the way I mock Donna about
getting quite frequently) I took a deep breath and looked at Donna. She smiled her usual reassuring smile and I
continued on with my "lesson".
I just read back over the last few sentences; I'm not quite sure why I felt
the need to share that information with you.
Well, I guess deep down I do know, but that's a subject for another
email.
Back to my lesson or as I suppose Donna would call it, our lesson. She, as usual, managed to help me out,
playing Hepburn to my Tracy. She somehow managed to call me ridiculous
twice in one sentence. And no, that's
not a new record, not by far. But she
did help me get my point across, which I suppose was actually her point, but
you get the general idea.
As it looked like we were going to be stuck for a while I told the kids to
help themselves to apples and peanut butter while I went upstairs to see if
anyone wanted to come down and contribute to our impromptu
history/government/human nature lesson.
Toby, Sam, CJ, Charlie and eventually even The President and Mrs.
Bartlet wandered in the room to offer their bits of wisdom.
The questions these kids asked blew me away. And also made me feel a little, I don't know,
uneasy. Here were these high school
juniors and seniors looking to me for answers to questions I still find myself
asking. It was both exhilarating and
terrifying at the same time. I found
myself more excited and energized than I had been in weeks. Judging my Donna's frequent smiles in my
direction I guess my change in mood was easy to recognize. But then again, Donna recognizes my moods
quicker than I do most of the time.
Mom, why do all my emails eventually come around to Donna? Please don't answer that, I already know what
you're going to say.
Anyway, there was this one kid, Billy.
Probably the brightest in the group.
Knew all the answers but didn't want to show off, wise beyond his
years. He ended up on my list
quickly. I saw something in him that I'm
sure my teachers saw in me. He was the
kid I used to be and the kid I hope to have someday.
Please, no cracks about not having grandchildren yet.
The rest of the time was spent talking with the kids and trying to answer
their questions. I'll get in to more
detail about the discussions when I talk to you later. The lockdown ended and the kids left. As they wandered out I called out to
Billy. I wanted to talk to him. I guess to tell him that he reminded me of me
at that age, to tell him to come see me about a job after graduation, I don't
know. As I took a deep breath I just
muttered, "Nothing, just keep doing what you're doing." Part of me is annoyed that I didn't say
anything else. I'm not sure why, there
was just something about this kid that really struck a nerve, hit home,
whatever. I'm sure Donna will explain it
to me later.
After all the kids were gone Donna and I headed back to the bullpen. I sat down at my desk while she went to check
my messages and print some memos. She
came back in a little while later to find me staring out the window with tears
streaming down my face, a photo of Joanie, Dad and myself in my hand. She took
the picture from me, grabbed me by the shoulders, turned me around and just
held me. Never said a word, not
one. It's like she just..understands me
like nobody else. I always tease Donna
when she says she's tuned to my every need but it's true. She knows what I need, more than I do, most
of the time. But I'm sure you already
know that. You two think I don't know
just how much you talk to each other.
Trust me Mom, I know. And don't
worry, I kind of like it.
So, I did end up bringing her home.
But I didn't have to drag her.
She insisted. Actually I think
she wanted to make sure I got something to eat and went to bed at a decent
hour. Which is pretty ironic as it is
about midnight and she's sound asleep
on the couch. Don't worry, I did feed
her first. Yeah, Chinese take out and
Ben and Jerry's.
Anyway, it's been a long day and I am actually starting to fade. I'll call you tomorrow, or later today
actually. Thanks again for the hat. I
didn't put it in my trunk, though, it is in my office on the shelf next to
Dad's picture.
You know what?
Today was just one of those days I really wish Dad were still alive. Not that I don't wish that everyday but there
are just certain days I really wish he could see me. Days when I think I'm doing something he
would be proud of.
Today was one of those days.
Love Always,
Joshua
