McGarry House of Hell

Part 2 Part 3

Part 4 Part 5

Part 6 Part 7

Part 8 Part 9

Part 10 Part 11

Part 12 Part 13

Part 14 Part 15

Part 16

Part 1

CJ stood in the doorway to the bedroom, staring at Leo on the bed. "I just want you to know that we're never having anymore children," she said over Arianna's angry howling. "YOU take her -- she won't stop crying!"

Leo sighed and took his daughter into his arms. She only cried louder. He patted the bed next to him and CJ collapsed for a few minutes.

"CJ, the fact that you had your tubes tied when she was born kind of lessens the chances of us having more kids." he pointed out, loudly over the screams of their 3-month-old daughter.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm going to finish getting dinner ready, Michelle has a class tonight." she kissed Leo and the baby before heading downstairs.

Leo paced the room for a while trying to calm down Arianna. She was, by far, much more difficult than the other two kids had been. At least in his opinion she was much harder to handle than Pat and CJ always said Rose was a dream baby.

Arianna screamed until she was purple in the face, and Leo finally laid her down on the bed, and he climbed up beside her. She slowly calmed down to a minor fussing, which had CJ flying up the stairs to see what he'd done to shut her up. "Leo, what...?" she finally said.

He shrugged. "I have no idea -- she was turning funny colors, and I set her down, and she just... stopped."

"Funny colors?" asked CJ.

"Yeah, from screaming, you know, like Josh gets sometimes." explained Leo with a smile.

"Well, whatever. It worked. Dinner's almost ready."

By that time Ari was gurgling softly and kicking her feet against Leo. CJ went downstairs shaking her head.

Leo turned to talk to his daughter. "You know, you're driving your mother nuts. She's set to go back to work full time next week and you're not helping the situation." He kissed her head and picked her up to take her downstairs.

Rose and Pat were in the kitchen helping CJ get dinner on the table when Leo came in and deposited Ari in the porta-crib in the corner of the kitchen.

Ari smelled the food and screamed to be fed herself. CJ sighed and went to pick her up after serving the food up.

"Can't we take Ari back?" Pat asked. "We can take her back to the baby store and get a new sister that doesn't yell..."

CJ sighed as Ari screamed even louder, before finally latching on and nursing. Even though she was getting just what she wanted, though, Ari kept trying to push away from CJ, which was making it very difficult for CJ to keep from crying.

"Leo, I don't think I can do this. I've had little sleep in the past few weeks; I'm supposed to go back to work full-time next week. What if I can't do it?"

"You can. We will figure something out." he said feeding her a forkful of casserole.

"Daddy, can I draw." yelled Pat as he jumped on the couch, nearly on top of Ari who was almost asleep. Well, not anymore.

"Sure Pat, go in the kitchen."

Ari's cries were enough to send CJ over the edge. Leo took the baby as CJ's tears started. "Go take a bath, I'll get the kids ready for bed."

He took Ari back into the kitchen to find Pat. Pat was just finishing up his drawing. He was showing great artistic ability for a child of his age.

"That's great," he said to Pat as he admired his latest work. "Hang it on the fridge and let's take a bath. Rose, half an hour of TV and then come upstairs."

"OK, Dad."

Leo gave Pat a bath and got Ari settled down in the bouncy seat.

"Okay, little man, go get yourself into your pajamas, and get in bed," Leo instructed. "I'll be in to tuck you in a few minutes, I promise."

"'Kay," Pat replied, streaking his way into his bedroom to get into his pj's.

Leo laughed and went to check on Rose. "Sweetheart, time to get ready for bed," he said.

"The show will be over in five minutes," Rose grumbled.

"Okay, as soon as the show's over," Leo stipulated firmly.

"Okay..."

Leo went to check on CJ, who was sound asleep in the tub. Smiling, he kissed her gently on the forehead, and then went to make a phone call.

"White House Residence..."

"Hey, Coop, lemme talk to the President, please," Leo said, waiting patiently.

"Leo, what a surprise -- the family man cometh?"

"Very funny, Jed."

"Jed? This must be serious..."

"It is."

"What's wrong?"

"We're going to need to scale back CJ's duties at work dramatically, at least for a while."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Ari's being difficult -- CJ hasn't been able to sleep, the baby cries all the time when she's being held or fed or anything, and CJ's just running on full tilt."

"Have you taken Ari to the doctor?"

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with her physically -- she just, I guess, doesn't like being touched."

"You want me to have Abbey call her?"

"Yeah, I think maybe that would be a good idea."

"No problem. We'll sit down tomorrow and talk about how to make things easier on CJ. You get some sleep yourself, Leo."

"I will. Thanks, Jed."

"You're welcome. Good night."

"Good night," Leo sighed, hanging up the phone and rubbing his eyes. He went into Pat's room, tucked him in, and groaned inwardly at the thought of trying to get Arianna into her pajamas and into bed for the night.

Bucking up, he very gently picked her up out of the bouncy seat and she opened her eyes briefly, snorted, and went back to sleep. Sighing in relief, Leo changed her diaper and got her into her pj's, and into bed, under the covers.

When he went back into the bedroom, CJ was getting dried off.

"Why didn't you tell me I fell asleep," she mumbled, wrapping a towel around her wet hair. "Are the kids..."

"The kids are in bed, even Ari," he assured her, kissing her on the cheek. "Relax, sweetheart, and get some sleep."

"How did you manage that?" she asked, grateful that he had gotten her to bed but a little put off that Ari seemed to respond better to Leo.

"I don't know. She fell asleep in the bouncy seat and I managed to put on her pj's without waking her up. Why don't you go to bed? I'll get up with her later, there's plenty of bottles you pumped in the freezer."

She sighed and reached for her nightshirt. "Okay, yeah, whatever -- I just want to sleep for a year..."

"Maybe not a year," Leo said with a smile. "Will a whole night do?"

"Yeah," she sighed, heading out to the bed and sinking onto it with a tired moan.

Leo went to the kids' bathroom and threw the dirty clothes in the hamper, wiped off the counter and recapped the toothpaste. He went into the master bathroom and changed into his own pajamas. Part of him wanted to just crawl into bed too but he remembered the stack of files that were waiting for him in his briefcase. Dragging himself down the stairs he resigned himself to spending the next few hours reading.

About an hour later, Ari woke up and started screaming. Leo grabbed a bottle and stumbled back up the stairs. Pat was sitting up in bed, crying, too, so Leo picked Ari up and plugged the bottle into her mouth, and sent Pat into the big bedroom with CJ.

Ari didn't want the bottle, and went right on screaming angrily.

Rose came in and said, "Am I too young to move out?"

"Yep, but I'll take her downstairs to feed her. You can go sleep with Pat and Mommy, if you want."

"No thanks." muttered Rose as she headed back for her own bedroom.

Leo stood up and carried a screaming Ari back down to the living room. She was obviously hungry but not at all interested in being held. He propped her up in the corner of the couch and fed her that way, not holding her at all, just holding the bottle up for her. It seemed to work and she did finish the bottle, dropping off to sleep when she was through.

Leo sighed and let her stay there. He finished his reading, or rather, finished enough of his reading to go to bed for the night. He picked Ari up and she immediately woke up and started screaming.

CJ flew downstairs in a flash, scooping Ari up, and making the screaming worse.

As CJ's own tears of frustration started Leo took the baby back from her and wordlessly sent her back to bed. He dragged the porta crib into the living room and put her in it. She calmed down from completely frantic to merely agitated within a few minutes. He grabbed a pillow and blanket from the hall closet, settling himself down on the couch for the night.

CJ came downstairs a few minutes later, an overnight bag in hand, and grabbed her purse. "I'll be back," she promised as she walked out, not allowing Leo a chance to even say a word.

A minute later Michelle walked in the front door.

"Was that CJ driving off at this hour?" she asked as she dropped her bookbag by the front door.

"Yeah, the baby's been fussy tonight and I think she just had enough."

"You want me to do anything before I go to bed?" she asked.

"No, we're fine. Don't worry about it."

Michelle shrugged her shoulders and went through the kitchen to her room.

Twenty minutes later Jed called to say CJ was there and not to worry.

"Don't worry? Easy for him to say." muttered Leo to himself as he hung up the phone.

Ari gurgled contentedly from her port-a-crib, and Leo sighed as he bedded down for the night.

CJ curled up under the covers in one of the bedrooms in the residence, and tried not to cry anymore than she already had. She managed to get 6 straight hours sleep for the first time since Arianna was born. Unfortunately 6 straight hours did have its price and she woke up in serious need of the breast pump. Which she had somehow managed to remember to bring with her.

Abbey came in as she was finishing, and said, "Leo called a while ago, asking if you remembered the pump."

"Yeah," CJ replied, holding up the offending hunk of plastic. "Don't ask me how, but I did."

Abbey chuckled. "Can I sit down?"

CJ nodded as she tucked her things away in the bag again. "What's up?"

"Leo's worried about you."

CJ sighed. "I know."

"You want to talk about it?"

"I guess so." said CJ as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"OK, how about you grab a shower and meet me in the kitchen. I'll take this," she said reaching for the bottle of milk.

"Sounds good. Thanks Abbey."

"You are more than welcome."

CJ smiled a little, and got dressed after Abbey left. When she went to the kitchen, Abbey was waiting with a plate of hot buttered toast with fresh raspberry preserves. "What do you want to drink? Milk? Juice?"

"Abbey, if I ever drink another glass of milk, it'll be too soon," CJ sighed, sitting down.

"Orange juice okay, then?"

"Yeah..."

"So, what's wrong?" Abbey asked, getting the juice out of the fridge.

"I don't know. Ari is so fussy. The other two were never like this. I've been watching what I eat, no chocolate, no caffeine, no broccoli, no onions but it doesn't seem to be helping." she groaned as she reached for some toast.

"What does the pediatrician say?"

"She couldn't find anything wrong with her. Just a high-need infant. And I'm scheduled to come back full time next week. I don't think I can do it." sighed CJ.

Abbey nodded. "I'm sure Leo and Jed will work something out," she said quietly. "Meanwhile, I'm going to contact a couple of people, and see what's what, and you're going to get some rest."

"I can't rest -- I have three children, under the age of ten," CJ sighed.

"CJ, you have to rest and you have to eat," Abbey said as she pushed the plate of food closer to CJ.

"I know." whispered CJ.

"Have you considered hiring more help at home?'

"No, Michelle is fine. She's a huge help with Rose and Pat. I don't want to hire someone just to take care of the baby."

"Why not?" asked Abbey, trying to coax some information out of CJ.

"Cause that would make me feel like a total failure."

"You are not a failure at all, let alone a total failure," Abbey scolded. "Look at yourself, CJ -- you have three beautiful children, a wonderful husband who loves you to the point of worship, a happy home life, a good, steady job, friends who love you, and there is nothing there to point you out as a failure."

"Except my youngest seems to hate me." muttered CJ bitterly.

"Honey, I know this isn't the best suggestion and some groups would have my head if they heard me say this, but have you thought about weaning the baby? You could always pump if you don't want to use formula. I just think it would be easier if other people could feed her regularly. Or if you don't want to wean her completely, start setting aside certain feedings for her to get the bottle. Try and get her on some kind of schedule. It will be better all around."

"I've thought about weaning her, but I'm just not ready. She's my last child and I'm not ready to give up nursing."

"That's fine. Then work on the schedule and start having Michelle give her a bottle during the day. Keep pumping to keep up the supply. Let Leo get up in the middle of the night. He doesn't need much sleep." she said with a grin.

"True." smiled CJ.

Abbey put her arm around CJ's shoulder and hugged her. "I know it's hard, but things will work out just fine, you know."

"Yeah," CJ sighed. "Sure they will..."

"They will," said Leo softly from the doorway.

Abbey got up to leave them alone. She patted Leo on the arm as she passed by him.

"Hi. You get some sleep?" asked Leo as he kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, look, I'm sorry for running out like that last night."

"You have nothing to apologize for, sweetie."

"Thanks" said CJ with a weary smile.

"You get some rest?" he asked softly.

"Yeah... where're the kids?"

"Michelle's taking Rose to school and she's going to take Pat and Ari to the park. At least while they're there, it's okay to let Ari scream like a little monster."

CJ grinned.

"I'm heading to my office, you go home and go back to bed." he said as he grabbed the last piece of toast.

"I'll walk with you. I need to grab a few things out of my office before I go."

"An hour CJ," warned Leo with a smile. "If you aren't out of here in one hour I'm having the Secret Service drag you out."

"Yes, sir" she smirked.

"No siring me," he growled, kissing her. "You know how I hate that."

"Yes, I do," she said with a smile. "I'll see you later," she promised, kissing him.

An hour later CJ let herself in the front door of their townhouse. Michelle and the kids were still at the park. She made a cup of tea and read the paper while CNN played in the background.

She heard the sounds of little footsteps on the landing about 45 minutes later. Pat bounded in the front door and landed in her lap. He babbled on and on about the trip to the park while Michelle put a sleeping Ari into the porta crib and went to start some laundry. CJ and Pat cuddled on the couch until Ari started to fuss. Pat slid off her lap and looked at the baby with a scowl. "I'm going to play in my room." he declared as he went up the stairs.

"OK, kiddo, let's try something," muttered CJ as she picked Ari up. She took her upstairs and settled her down in the middle of the big bed. CJ unbuttoned her shirt and lay down next to the baby. She propped Ari up on her side and settled herself down on her side, propping her head up on her hand. She managed to feed the baby that way, without holding her in her arms. Ari seemed to be ok with it, for the moment, at least.

With a sigh of relief, CJ lay down and dozed off. She awoke to Pat's little voice, scolding Ari. "No, no!" he said. "Don't pull mommy's necklace!"

"Pat, it's okay," CJ mumbled, opening her eyes. "You want a snack?"

Pat nodded.

CJ gently reached down to pull Ari's hand off of her necklace. "Thank you, sweetheart," she whispered to the baby with the big blue eyes and drooly smile.

Pat gave his sister a smile and a sweet kiss on the hand while CJ propped her on the bed with more pillows.

CJ and Pat had a snack and spent some time reading on the floor in his room. Ari slept peacefully for a change.

After lunch Ari still seemed to be in a good mood so CJ loaded her into the stroller and walked to pick up Rose from school. Pat was napping so Michelle stayed with him.

Rose hopped out of school and spotted her mother. "MOMMY!" she yelled, running up. She looked down at the stroller, and said, "Why's SHE here?"

"Because she's your little sister."

"She's noisy," Rose pointed out.

"Not right now, she's not."

"She's gonna be hungry soon, though."

"Probably -- would you like to give her bottle?"

Rose scowled at her.

"Guess not," muttered CJ. "Do you have much homework?"

"Spelling and math. Do you think Daddy will be home for dinner?"

"I don't know. We can call him when we get home."

"OK. Mom I think maybe I would like to feed Ari when we get home."

CJ smiled. "That would be nice."

Rose nodded. "If she doesn't yell," she stipulated.

"She won't yell if you do what I show you to do," CJ said gently. "We finally found a way to make it work."

"No screaming?"

"No screaming."

"Good. Can I push the stroller?"

"Sure"

By the time they got home Pat was awake and having a snack in the kitchen. Michelle got a snack for Rose while CJ changed the baby and put her in the bouncy seat. Ari started fussing just as Rose was finishing her snack. CJ went to the freezer and grabbed a bottle of breastmilk. She thawed it in a bowl of hot water and Rose tried to occupy Ari with a toy.

Ari bopped Rose in the nose with a tiny fist, and Rose yelled, "OW!" which startled the baby and made her start screaming.

CJ rushed over with the bottle and, careful not to touch Ari, offered it to her. She held the bottle while Ari drank happily.

"See, just hold it for her. You don't even need to take her out of the seat."

"Neat, can I try?"

CJ handed her the bottle and a cloth diaper just in case. "Just keep the bottle tipped up."

Pat wandered in to see what was going on. "Mommy, the baby's eating and she's not screaming" he said excitedly.

"Yeah, sweetie," CJ agreed, picking him up and wincing a little. "You're heavy, y'know..."

"I am?" he said.

"Yeah, but it's okay, sweetie." CJ kissed him on the cheek. "I love you just the way you are. And Rosie, too. And Ari."

"Baby," Pat corrected.

"Oh, now, come on, Pat -- you know you're all my babies."

"No -- you like HER better," Pat said, struggling to get out of CJ's arms.

CJ let him go without saying anything. She glanced over to see Rose still feeding a very content Arianna. When the bottle was finished CJ carefully picked up the baby to burp her. Ari stiffened at first but then melted into CJ's arms for a while.

Leo called to say he wouldn't be home for dinner but would try to make it home before the kids went to bed. This caused some of Rose's good mood to disappear but things weren't too bad.

But Pat was sulking and being impossible to deal with. He even refused to take his bath, which was something he loved to do.

CJ sighed as she tucked him in, bathless. "Little man o mine, you better get it out of your head that I love you less than your sister," she scolded. "I love you so much. You're my little boy, and I love you. I love Rose because she's my little girl. And I love Arianna because she's my little girl. Okay?"

"Okay, where's Daddy?"

"He's not home yet. I'll send him in to kiss you when he gets home. Good night sweetie."

"Bye, Mommy."

CJ blew him one last kiss and turned out the light. The way he talked, the way his little mind worked was just incredible for someone who was only 2. There were times he was just too much like his father.

She tucked Rose in and retrieved Ari's bouncy chair, which she set up on the bed, so she could get some sleep. CJ nodded off, waiting for Leo.

She woke up when the bed shifted a little, and she heard Ari's hungry gurgle.

"Leo," she muttered sleepily, "Leave her here, I'll nurse her."

"You sure, I can give her a bottle." he offered.

"Nah, the two of us worked on a system today." she said as she propped herself up on her side and undid the buttons on her nightgown. "Take her out of the seat and hand her to me."

Leo did as he was told. He was still a little skeptical that Ari would actually eat without screaming. But she did, snuggled up against CJ but not actually in CJ's arms.

"Wow" was all Leo could say.

"Yeah," she agreed. "It's a pain in the ass, but she even let Rose bottle-feed her earlier..." She yawned and closed her eyes again. "Just don't touch her too much, or she'll go ape-shit again," she mumbled, drifting off again.

The baby fell asleep after eating and rather than risk waking her up Leo just left her in the bed, between the two of them. The whole house managed to get 6 straight hours sleep that night. Something that hadn't ever happened before.

CJ sighed when the alarm clock went off, and Ari began to fuss. "Leo, shut it off," she hissed, slapping his shoulder and trying to get Ari to nurse so she'd shut up again.

Leo slapped the alarm clock and growled, "I was working on it, okay?!"

"Sorry," she whispered. Ari kicked her in the stomach, and she yelped, which made the baby cry some more. "Okay, dammit, this is so far beyond colic..." she whimpered.

"CJ, what do you want me to do?" asked Leo, willing to help but not really in the mood to help with the wrong thing.

"Leave me to try and feed her, take your shower and get Rose up."

"OK" he said as he kissed her cheek before sliding out of bed.

"Leo?" she whispered once she'd finally gotten Ari to latch on. "I'm taking her to the doctor today -- I don't care if I am supposed to go back to work or not. This is more important."

"I know," he agreed with a sad smile. "Try to get some rest, honey."

"Yeah," she sighed as the baby kicked her in the stomach again.

CJ sat in the pediatrician's office later that morning. She was surrounded by young, perky new mothers with perfectly quiet infants. Ari was fussing in her seat. When their name was called she picked up the seat and walked to the exam room.

She lost her temper with the doctor when he told her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Arianna, and that she was being hysterical.

"You don't know me," CJ growled. "You don't understand that I am not a hysterical person, I protect the President for a living. I can't be hysterical. This is my child, and I know something is wrong when my baby pushes me away, doesn't like being touched, and can't stand noise. I have two other children, and they were both calm, content babies. I just want to know what's going on, what I'm doing wrong, and what I can do to make her feel better," she pleaded. "And no one is helping me!"

The pediatrician's brow furrowed. "You said she doesn't like being touched or noise, yes?"

"Yes..."

"I'm going to call someone, okay, and I'll be right back."

CJ calmed herself down with the doctor left to make a phone call. When she returned CJ had just gotten Arianna to stop screaming.

"OK, I talked to a colleague of mine. She's a pediatric neurologist. I'd like to make an appointment for you to talk to her. She may be able to provide you with some suggestions on how best to handle Arianna's, uh, for lack of a better word, temper."

"It's not her temper," CJ said. "She's a good baby, when she's not doing this, she really is..." Her voice trailed off and she put Arianna back in her seat. "Thanks," she said, putting things back in the diaper bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "I'll give you my card, so you can call me at the office. I'll be back at work, starting tomorrow."

The doctor patted her arm and left the room without a word. CJ got the baby settled in the car and decided to go by the office. She wanted to bring the baby by to see everyone one last time before she threw herself head first into her work. Fortunately Arianna remained in a good mood for the entire visit and was quite the little princess of the West Wing. She even sat in on a staff meeting in the Oval Office, sleeping peacefully in the arms of her adoring god-father.

CJ was frustrated practically to tears by Ari's complacency. She could not understand why she screamed bloody murder when she touched her, but could sleep in Jed's arms like she was doing. Leo picked up on her frustration -- it was obvious that he was feeling it, too -- and gently put his arm around her shoulders in a comforting and protective gesture.

Toby, Sam and Josh picked up on that movement, but they had no way of knowing what it meant. They did, however, understand it all too clearly when CJ slipped silently out of the room and didn't come back.

She went to her office and got a head start on the work that was piled up. Toby wandered in a little while later.

"Hey, you didn't come back in."

"I uh, have stuff to do." she muttered distractedly.

"CJ, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Nothing," she said sharply. She glanced up at him and saw the obvious worry on his face, and realized that that was a picture she rarely, if ever, saw. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's complicated, Toby."

"Yeah, so's your relationship with Leo, and I'm willing to bet that's the line he first used on you."

She shrugged. "Maybe."

"See?"

"I'm just tired and anxious to get back to work," she said, not sure how much of it was a lie and how much of it was the truth. She was tired, and she was extremely anxious to get back to work, if only to get the anger she felt about Arianna's "temper" pushed to the back burner for a while. She was stressed beyond belief and was just completely overwhelmed.

"CJ..."

She glanced back up at him.

"Please tell me what's wrong," Toby said quietly. "Are you and Leo fighting again?"

Part 2

"No not at all. We're just both stressed. I mean look at our lives, we work in the White House and we have 3 kids under the age of 10, we're not exactly, uh..."

"Young?" said Toby with a grin.

"Yeah" grinned CJ. "I'm nervous about coming back full-time. Arianna is, well, quite a handful. I worry about Michelle. We decided to put Pat in a nursery school program 3 afternoons a week to give her some time with just the baby. Rose and Pat are both jealous and somewhat resentful of their sister and I can't say I blame them. It has been a big adjustment all around."

"You were looking at Arianna in the Oval like she was gonna explode or something. Why?"

CJ sighed and threw down the folder she had been looking through in frustration. "Because she's a live wire, Toby -- she hardly ever stops crying. We FINALLY just YESTERDAY worked out a system so she gets fed and doesn't try to hurt the people feeding her. She cries all the time, I hardly get any sleep, and she can't stand being touched by anyone -- not even me. Not even her MOTHER, Toby!" She couldn't help it --

she began to cry.

Toby stood up and pulled the visitors chair behind the desk to sit next to her. He handed her a tissue and rubbed her back while she cried.

"And before you ask, she's been to the doctor and apparently there's nothing wrong with HER."

"Claudia Jean, there's nothing wrong with you either." he said as he handed her another tissue.

"Oh, yeah, I'm just such a wonderful mother -- my children all hate me," she blubbered into the Kleenex. "Rose is pissed because I don't spend time with her, Pat is pissed and thinks we love Rose and Ari more than him, and dammit, my own baby doesn't want to be held by me!" she wailed, falling forward onto the desktop and crying her eyes out.

"CJ," Toby whispered, just stroking her back as comfortingly as he could, "they love you. You're their mother -- they'll always love you, they'll always come to you with their problems. They love you. They respect you."

"Why doesn't it feel like that?" she whimpered.

"Because you're really stressed out and tired and you're probably suffering from a dandy case of post-partum depression, or whatever the hell it's called."

"I didn't know you were an expert," she sniffed.

"I'm not. But you need to go get checked out, just in case."

She sighed and groaned, looking down at her soaked shirt. "Oh, dammit, I've gotta find Ari..." she mumbled, reaching for the box of Kleenex to try to clean herself up.

She found Leo and Ari in Josh's office. She tried to sneak in and just grab the baby without calling attention to herself. But with Josh in the room that didn't happen.

"Hey CJ, what's on your shirt."

"Lunch, Joshua."

"But it's only 11:30." he said a little puzzled.

"The baby's lunch." she hissed as she grabbed Ari from Leo and left the room.

"Joshua, could you be a bigger idiot if you tried?" called Donna from her desk.

"Probably" called Josh as he turned his attention back to Leo.

Leo just laughed.

He finally shook his head and said, "Josh, do you not remember when Pat was born and she'd change shirts five or six times a day?"

"Oh, yeah," Josh said, making a face. "I'm not looking forward to that with Donna."

"Excuse me?" Leo said. "Are you telling me that..."

"We're trying," Josh supplied with a shrug. "Not getting very far, but we're having fun practicing."

"I bet you are," Leo snorted. "Just take a good look at CJ and me before you decide to push your luck."

"Actually I was thinking getting married would be a good first step." mused Josh.

"Ya think so?" teased Leo. "Seriously, what are you waiting for?"

"I don't know."

"Well, stop waiting. I waited way too long and missed out on a lot of things."

"Yeah, but you got to make up in extra innings," Josh pointed out.

"Shut up -- those extra innings are giving me a lot of trouble," Leo pointed out dryly.

"Yeah, but you got the biggest score of all -- you got CJ Cregg."

"You'd better not mean that the way it sounded, Joshua, or I'll castrate you, Donna or no Donna. You so much as wink in my wife's direction and I'll..."

"HELLO! Donna, Leo. DONNA. D-O-N-N-A."

"Josh, you're yelling so loud your gonna wake the baby up and she's down in CJ's office." she said from the doorway.

"Sorry."

"Did you actually want something or were you just yelling?" she asked.

"I, uh, yeah..." stuttered Josh as he fidgeted at his desk.

"I'm outta here. Don't forget what we talked about." said Leo as he winked at Donna on the way out.

Donna turned to Josh with her eyebrows raised. "Why did Leo just wink at me? Josh, what did you say to him?"

Josh kind of rubbed his toes into the carpet and mumbled, "Nothing... Donna, will ya sit down?"

She nodded. "Is this about last night?"

"Kind of, but not really."

"Okay, how can it be kind..."

"Donna, will you marry me?"

Donna just blinked a few times and stared at Josh, not quite sure she had heard him correctly.

"Josh, did you just...uh...did you ask..."

He knelt down next to her chair and took her hand.

"Yes, I did."

"Then yes, I will." she said with a grin as she wrapped her arms around him.

Leo headed off in search of CJ, content in knowing that finally the love fest between John and Donna REALLY meant something.

"Hey," he whispered, creeping into her office stealthily. "How's she doing?"

"She's cranky because I have to hold her to feed her in here, but she's not being loud about it, thank GOD," CJ replied, pushing her hair back out of her face. "What's up?"

"Josh and Donna are getting married."

"Good! Certainly took them long enough..."

"CJ, I need to ask you something."

"Sure, go ahead..."

"You withdrew two thousand dollars from the bank last week in a lump sum. If you needed money that badly, why didn't you say something to me?"

"It's not for me," CJ said, her eyes sad and her lips turned down. "It's a for a friend."

"Okay, CJ, is your friend in trouble? I'm just asking because you do this every two months, according to Margaret."

CJ paled. "Leo..."

"Claudia, please talk to me," he said quietly. "Are you letting someone blackmail you or us or both?"

"NO!"

"Then please, tell me what's going on."

"Leo, I can't. Not now, not after what's happening with Ari. That's bad enough, and I don't even want to think about this other..."

"Claudia, listen to me. I love you, no matter what. Yes, we're going through a rough patch right now, but I always love you -- you know that. Please, just tell me what's going on."

She licked her lips, and bit her lower lip. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken it out of the joint account..."

"I'm not worried about that. There's more to spare. CJ..."

"Rose wasn't our first child," she whispered, eyes downcast.

"What?" He was confused.

"That first time we made love, I got pregnant," she whispered, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "The baby was born with a type of benign tumor in her brain that is in just the wrong spot -- she's almost 10, and she has the mental capacity of an artichoke."

Leo paled and for a second CJ was worried he was going to pass out. She reached out and yanked him down on the couch next to her.

"Shit. Leo, put your head between your knees. Take a deep breath" she said as she put Arianna in her seat quickly and grabbed him a bottle of water.

"How could you not tell me this?" he finally sighed, his head between his knees. "How could you not..."

"Leo, it's hard enough for me. I didn't know how you would take it," she whispered, rubbing his back. "Kate lives with my parents, they take good care of her for me, I just have to send some money now and then."

"So that's why we've never visited your parents in California. They always come here. Now it makes sense. I have to ask, who else knows?" he asked quietly, bracing himself for the answer that he knew was coming.

"Toby"

He sighed. "Why does Toby know?"

"Because he's her guardian, Leo, and he's my best friend. Besides you, I mean. You know what I mean." She was stumbling over her words, trying not to cry.

"I feel so betrayed right now," Leo sighed.

"I know and I'm sorry. Sorrier than I have ever been about anything in my life."

"I just need...I need some space. I'm gonna..." he stuttered as he pointed towards the door. CJ nodded and watched him get up slowly and walk out the door, looking years older than he had looked just an hour earlier.

She absently bounced Arianna a little in her chair and closed her eyes. She didn't feel like telling Leo how she felt right at that moment -- that they had two normal, healthy, smart children, and two under-pars.

Toby knocked on her door and said, "What's wrong with Leo?"

"Why, what did he say?" asked CJ nervously.

"Not much, just stormed past me in the hall, red face and glaring at me. I think he muttered something under his breath but I'm not sure. What the hell happened in here?"

"I told him."

"Told him what...Oh." said Toby quietly as he sat down in her visitor's chair.

"He asked about the money -- I had to tell him." She sighed and bounced Ari a little more, much to the little one's delight.

"Yeah, I understand," Toby sighed. "But can you imagine what would've happened if he knew before?"

She shrugged. "Telling him about Rose was hard enough, especially when he saw me with his own eyes."

"Yeah."

"He's angry at me, and I'll let him be, but I'll be damned if I let him take it out on you guys."

"CJ, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Worry about yourself, the kids, your husband." he said softly as he ran his hand over his head. "You told him the extent of my involvement?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I should have talked to you first."

"No, you have nothing to be sorry about, at least not where I'm concerned. I knew sooner or later all of this would come out. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. So now what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I really don't. I haven't seen Kate since right after dad's birthday, you know... and I know you haven't seen her since that last trip west you made. Leo's never seen her. I don't know what to tell him, how to prepare him for that."

"She's your daughter, as much as Rose and Ari are, CJ, and you need to treat her that way."

CJ sighed. "I know."

"I have to go. I have two speeches to finish. Think about what I said. Let me know what you decide. Whatever you need, just let me know." said Toby as he stood up to leave. He kissed both the baby and CJ before heading back to his office.

A few minutes of silent solace passed. Jed knocked on her office door and she smiled at him. "Hey, what's up, sir?" she asked.

"I'm trying to find Leo -- have you seen him?"

"Not for a while, and he's a little angry with me right now, so if you do find him..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I want to talk about at the moment." replied CJ as she reached to pick up Ari who was starting to fuss.

"Claudia Jean, you look like hell. Give me my god-daughter and go pull yourself together, get a cup of coffee, whatever." said Jed as he held out his hands for the baby.

"Sir, you have a country to run, you don't have time to baby-sit."

"Nonsense, hand her over."

Knowing his tone booked no argument; she handed Ari over and stood up. "I guess I know where to find you later, so..." she said.

"Go get something to drink, talk to Leo, straighten this out."

"It's not something that's going to straighten out that easily, sir."

"Try it, you'll see," Jed said, jerking his thumb in the direction of the door where Leo stood.

CJ walked into Leo's office slowly. She took a deep breath as she stood in the middle of the room. Leo hand walked to the window and was standing with his back towards her.

"Did you have something to say CJ or are you just here cause the guy in the next office sent you in here?" he asked bitterly.

"I know you're angry at me, and I understand why," she began quietly. "But I don't understand why you're taking it out on everyone else. If you want to say something, say it to me. Yell at me, spit at me, kick me, but do it to me, not Toby."

"I didn't do a thing to Toby and you know it. I just walked past him without saying anything. You feel guilty, as you should, but don't blame me for that. I didn't bring this guilt upon you. You did it to yourself."

"You don't have to tell me that," she said, her voice quavering. "I know that well enough. Don't you think that I wanted to tell you? Don't you believe that it was so hard for me to deal with it that I was scared of how you would behave when I did tell you? We have four children, Leo -- two are perfect, and two are not. And I don't know how I can deal with it anymore. I was going to tell you about Kate. I was."

"When? Did you have a plan or did you just figure that sooner or later I would ask about the money?"

"I didn't have a plan. Leo I never meant to hurt you."

"Oh please, spare me." he spit out as he turned around suddenly.

"I did, Leo. I spared you the pain of having to see how much pain she's in every day. She can't walk, she can barely sit up. She lives in a bed, Leo. She can't talk -- she can make some sounds, and we know what they mean, but she can't talk and tell us when she hurts or when she's hungry. I did what I thought was best for YOU." She closed her eyes and took a deep, quivering breath. "I never wanted to see the disgust that would be in your eyes if you saw her."

Leo took a deep breath and glared at CJ. He couldn't believe what she had just said. It was all he could do to keep from flying into a rage like he had never known.

"Please leave." he said quietly, fists clenched at his side, his whole body on the verge of shaking violently.

His appearance frightened her but she knew that her leaving would be the best thing at the moment. She left without a word or even a glance back over her shoulder.

Leo collapsed onto the couch, sobbing. Jed came in the room quietly and stood in the doorway for a minute, holding a sleeping Ari in his arms.

He turned and left, carrying Ari back to CJ's office. CJ was sitting on the couch, putting things back into the diaper bag.

"What happened?" Jed asked.

"Nothing I didn't expect," CJ snapped. "I'm packing the kids up and we're going away for a while... I'm sorry, but I need to ask for a leave of absence."

"And you're not getting it," Jed said. "Do you have any idea what Leo's doing right now?"

"No, and frankly, I don't care," CJ spat. "I need to go see my parents, sir, so please, may I have some time off?"

"Sure, you can have all the time you need, starting in two weeks. That should give you and Leo some time to work out whatever is going on. And even though you say you don't care, I know you do, Leo's in his office sobbing. Your husband, the man who has been through a war, fought his own battles against alcohol and pills, got me elected President and who basically runs this country is sitting on his couch crying like a baby. I'm not going to ask you why. But I will ask you, what are you going to do about it?"

CJ took Arianna from his arms and put her back in her seat. "I'm going home. It's still too fresh a wound for me to try to help him," she snapped, picking up the seat and trying to brush by Jed.

He grabbed her arm and said, "The least you can do is try to talk to him."

"I tried."

Jed just nodded and let go of her arm.

Meanwhile Margaret was standing outside Leo's door, debating what to do. She had a bottle of water in one hand and a new box of tissues in the other. She had knocked once but she wasn't sure he even heard her. Just as she was about to knock again when Josh came up behind her.

"He in there?" asked Josh, apparently not noticing the fact that you could hear Leo sobbing through the heavy oak door.

Margaret just nodded as Josh finally realized why she was just standing outside the door.

"What happened, Margaret?"

"I'm not sure. He and CJ had a fight, something big. I have no idea. You want to try and go in?"

"Yeah, give me those," he said taking the water and the tissues. He knocked on the door. "Leo, it's Josh, I'm coming in." He didn't get an answer and he pushed the door open slowly.

CJ walked slowly through the office until she got to Margaret's desk. And then she noticed that Margaret was standing timidly in the doorway.

"Margaret, I need to leave a note for Leo," CJ said, making Margaret jump about two feet straight up.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" she snapped, glaring at CJ. "He's in there with Josh."

CJ set Arianna's seat down on Margaret's desk. "He doesn't want to talk to me," she said quietly, trying to mask the heartbreak in her voice. "He doesn't want anything to do with me right now, and I don't blame him. I'm going home..."

Josh stuck his head out into the outer office. "CJ, Leo wants to talk to you," he said, stepping out. "I'll take Ari over to Donna and we'll watch her for you."

She handed the baby and the diaper bag to Josh, who looked rather comfortable as he walked down the hall with a baby on his hip and a diaper bag over his shoulder. CJ took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Leo was at his desk on the phone. He waved her in and pointed towards the couch. She quietly took a seat and waited for him to hang up.

He hung up and regarded her with a stare. "Where do we go from here?" he asked.

"I don't understand what you mean."

"We have another child, CJ -- we should be taking care of her as much as we're taking care of the other three. You and I are at loggerheads, and something has got to give."

"Leo are you even listening to yourself? Yes, we have four kids, but Leo, at the moment I don't even feel able to take care of the three that are with us. How can you suggest that we just move Kate across the country to live with people, with people she doesn't even know? We have enough turmoil at home right now. Rose and Pat can't take much more. I can't take any more, Leo, you and I can't handle any more right now." she stated plainly and simply.

He sighed. "Fine. Yeah, you're probably right. No, scrap that -- I know you're right. But it doesn't stop me from feeling this way, CJ."

"I know."

"We need to find out what's wrong with Arianna."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I'm supposed to be getting a call from a pediatric neurologist somewhere along..."

He nodded. "But I do want to meet Kate sometime, CJ. Do you have any idea how angry I am that you would accuse me of looking on my own child with disgust?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I should have never said that. I don't think that, I don't feel that way and I know you would never do that. It just...came out. I wanted to make you mad, I guess."

"I was already mad." he said quietly.

The phone rang and he picked it up on the second ring. It was Dr. Wilson, the pediatric neurologist.

He passed the phone to CJ. "Hello, yes... yes... okay... this afternoon would probably be best. Yes... okay. Dr. O'Brien is who I'll be seeing? Okay, yes, thank you." She hung up and looked at Leo. "They've looked at Ari's symptoms as I described them to the doctor, and they're sending me to an autism specialist to do some tests." Her face crumpled and she began to cry.

Leo steered her back to the couch and then went to talk to Margaret.

"Clear my schedule for the rest of the day."

"But Leo you have the..."

"Margaret, please." he pleaded.

"Sure, you need anything?"

"Coffee, please."

"Anything else?"

"Something light to eat."

"Okay, I'll be back soon," Margaret promised.

Leo shut the door and crossed the room to sit down beside CJ. "Well, we wanted to know what's wrong with her."

"Yeah," CJ sniffled, reaching for him.

"Margaret's clearing my schedule and getting us something to eat. I need to go next door for a minute and I'll go get the baby. You'll be ok?"

"Yeah" she whispered as she stretched out on the couch.

Leo talked to Jed for a while. Revealing nothing about Kate and very little about Arianna, other than to say they had an appointment with the doctor.

He passed Toby in the hall. They stopped and looked at each other for a second. Leo started to apologize but Toby cut him off.

"It's not necessary, Leo. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you."

By the time Leo arrived at Josh's office Arianna had made herself quite comfortable. Josh had his feet propped up on the desk, the baby in his lap and a report in one hand. He was stroking Ari's blond hair with his other hand as he read.

"That look suits you." said Leo as he stepped into the room.

"Hey, thanks..."

"You're welcome. Look, we've got an appointment with the doctor for this little bundle of sunshine in a while, so I'm gonna take her back to my office."

"No problem -- I was getting drooled out anyway," Josh quipped as Leo picked her up and a long tendril of drool strung out between them. Arianna began to get angry fussy and then went into a full-fledged screaming fit.

Leo sighed.

Arianna screamed the whole way over to the doctor's office. Dr. O'Brien took them right away and fortunately Arianna had cried herself to sleep by that time. Dr. O'Brien took a long time to talk to them about their fears, their observations, their concerns.

"Okay, I'm going to take her into the other room and we're going to do a few tests while she's sleeping," Dr O'Brien said with a comforting smile as he carefully picked Arianna up in a way that would keep her supported but not put any extra pressure on her body.

"Okay..." CJ said quietly.

They wait nervously while Arianna was in the other room. CJ sat straight up in her chair, not moving. Leo fidgeted, getting up to walk around, reading the diplomas on the wall, scanning the medical texts on the shelf. At last Dr. O'Brien came back in the room with Arianna in his arms.

"We're going to need a while to look over the test results," he said gently, "but from what I'm seeing, she does have a form of autism. I just can't pinpoint which form until we have the results, and we do a few more tests."

CJ nodded stiffly and had to leave the room to collect herself. Leo squeezed her hand as she left, knowing exactly how she felt. He took the baby from the doctor.

"We'll be back in a few minutes."

"I know this is a lot to take in at once. Take your time."

Leo found CJ outside leaning against the car, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

He reached for her hand, pulling her to him. "I love you and I love Ari and the others, and we're gonna get through this," he whispered into her ear.

"I don't know if I can, Leo."

"You can, you're strong -- and remember what I said during the Grand Jury investigation? If one of us lags, the other will come back. We won't break, CJ."

She nodded stiffly, then said, "You notice that the doctor looks a lot like Jenny?"

Leo laughed. "Well, that was totally random."

"Well, he does," CJ protested.

"He should -- he's her brother, Claudia."

"Her brother? You were going to tell me this, when?" she asked as she reached to take the baby from him.

"CJ, it wasn't something I was going to keep from you. He's the best in his field and that's all we need to worry about. Doesn't matter that he was my brother in law."

"I suppose it doesn't. Let's go back in and talk to him. See what our next step is."

Rory O'Brien was sitting on the edge of his desk with a big book when they came back in. He smiled mildly. "I can see Leo told you who I am, and I can see you were ready to climb in the car and bolt, Mrs. McGarry. We haven't had the pleasure of being properly introduced..."

"CJ," she replied.

"You have a beautiful daughter, you two. Jenny's getting married again in a couple of weeks -- she's happy, and now that she is, she's glad you two are." Snapping the book closed, he said, "The next step is to complete a battery of tests that will determine exactly what type of autism she has. Many of them will be complicated in that she is so young, but... Overall, these tests will take about 30 hours, spread out over a couple of weeks."

He paused to give them some time to digest this information. CJ realized that she was going to have sit down with Jed and Leo to work out some arrangements as far as coming back to work. Leo was thinking the same thing and he turned to her. "Don't worry about work, we'll think of something."

"Call my office in a few days and we will set up a schedule. Here is some information that may be useful to you," he said as he handed Leo a handfuls of pamphlets. We'll be in touch."

He shook both of their hands and patted Ari's little arm before leaving them alone in the office.

"This just sucks," CJ said with disgust as she took Arianna from Leo's arms and tucked her into the seat again. "Let's go home, please."

"Okay," Leo said, not remembering or caring that it was only 2:30 in the afternoon and that he should be in the office, dealing with another one of John Hoynes screw-ups.

When they were driving home, CJ's cell phone rang. With a heavy sigh, she answered it. "Speak to me... yeah... Daddy? What's... oh shit. Yeah... okay, yeah... damn. I didn't need this today... Yeah... I'll catch a flight as soon as I can make arrangements... No, it's okay -- I'll let Toby know. I love you, too. Give her a kiss and tell her I'll be there soon, please. Yeah... bye." She hung up and immediately reached for the small folder of airline numbers she always kept in the glove compartment.

Part 3

"What's wrong?"

"Kate's not eating and doctor is worried about dehydration and stuff.  He wants to put her in the hospital for a day or two.  I have to go out there."

"I know, I'll go with you."

"No, not this time.  Not because I want to keep you away from her but you need to stay with Rose and Pat, things are too busy at work.  I'll take the baby and we'll be back in a few days."

Leo nodded in agreement as he pulled the car into their driveway.

CJ sighed and dialed the American Airlines reservations line.  "Leo, can I drop a name and get first class?" she asked absently, pulling out one of her credit cards.

"You don't have to ask me that, and you don't have to drop names.  Just ask for a first class seat," Leo said, rolling his eyes and getting Ari out of her carseat.  After years of marriage, CJ still didn't understand or fully-comprehend that what was his was hers as well.

CJ made reservations for 9 that night.  That would give her time to see the kids, pack, and hopefully talk to Toby and let him know what was going on.  She called him as soon as she got in the house.  He was in a meeting but Ginger promised to have him call as soon as he was free.

CJ went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, desperate to find something easy to fix for a snack, since she hadn't had lunch.  She settled on some leftover spaghetti-os and a bowl of pistachio pudding, wondering when all of the kids' junk food was going to catch up with her and deal a health blow from which she wouldn't recover.  She was already addicted to Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Toby called back just as Michelle came in the front door with Rose and Pat.

CJ tried to talk to him but the kids were alternately clinging to her and racing around the kitchen.

"Hey, CJ. Why don't I come over there, talk face to face?  Things are slow here for a change.  I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"OK, good."

She hung up the phone and hugged the kids.

"Hey, you guys," she said with a wide smile that betrayed the failure she felt.  "Tell me about school, Rosie... what did you do today?"

"Nothing."

"Oh.  Well, Pat, what did you do today?"

"Finger-painted!"

"I can see that," she held up his little pudgy hands that were still stained purple and green.

"You guys sit down for a minute.  I have to tell you something."

"What is it Mom, I have homework." said Rose in the newly acquired snotty tone that drove her parents nuts.

"I have to go away for a few days.  I'm going to take Ari with me."

"How come she gets to go and we have to stay home?" asked Rose.

"Well, two reasons, one, you and your brother have school, and two, the bigger reason, Ari will probably get pretty hungry without me."

"Oh yeah" laughed Rose.

CJ laughed with her, happy to hear some laughter in the house for a change.

"I'll miss you, mommy," Pat whined, wrapping himself around her and refusing to let go.

"I know, sweetie, but it's just for a few days, and Daddy will stay here with you, and you'll have Michelle..."

"But I want my momma!" Pat shrieked.

CJ looked up at Leo helplessly.

"Pat, come here for a minute," said Leo as he took his son's hand and led him to the couch.  "It's only for a few days.  How about when Mommy's gone you and I can spend some time together?"

"Can I come to work with you?"

"Sure, you can come with me tomorrow."

"What about me?" asked Rose.

"Well, tomorrow you have a class trip but how about Michelle drops you off after school?  Deal?"

"Deal"

CJ smiled at Leo as the doorbell rang.  "I'll take the kids outside for a while so you and Toby can talk."

"Uncle Toby?" yelled the kids as they ran to the front door.  Rose opened the door and they threw themselves at Toby who luckily heard them through the door and was ready for the two little bodies that hurtled towards him.

He grunted and scooped them both up for a hug.  "How're my favorite little pests?" he asked with an almost smile that was as close to a smile as he ever got.

"We're not pests!" Rose protested, kissing the top of his bald head as he presented it to her.  That was something she never got tired of.

"Come on, kids, we're going to the park," Leo said.  "And then we're gonna pick up some pizza on the way home..."  They were out the door in a flash.

CJ motioned towards the couch as she went in the kitchen to grab some iced tea for the two of them.  Toby bent down to take a look at Ari, who was asleep in the porta-crib.

"OK, what's up? You sounded a little frazzled on the phone, more than usual, I mean." he smiled.

"Cute," she muttered as she handed him a glass and sat down next to him.

"What's up?" he asked, sipping his tea.

"Well, we're very slowly finding out what's wrong with Ari.  She's got to have like, I dunno... 30 hours of tests done, and I'm just overwhelmed by that, and then Daddy called and said Kate's not eating and they want you and me to come out and talk to her.  I guess, because Mommy and Uncle Toby are the only ones that can get her to do anything, and goddamnit, Toby..."  She began to cry, pushing her glass of tea away on the coffee table top, leaving a streak of liquid across the precious mahogany that she was usually so proud of.  Now she just didn't care.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry," he said as he gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Of course I'll come with you.  Did you make reservations?"

"Yeah, 9 tonight.  Are you going to be able to make that?  I know it's like no notice whatsoever."

"I'll work something out, don't worry."

"Leo will help cover both of our asses," she said with a certainty she didn't quite feel.  "He wanted to come, but I don't think I could handle it -- besides, they need him too much here.  The kids and the President and the country -- we know nothing gets done when Leo's not there.  We know that all too well..."  She sighed.  "I need something tall and frosty and overly alcoholic.  And something small and smoky...  But Leo would kill me if I started smoking again, or even drink when I'm nursing..."

"Yeah," Toby said quietly.  "I'll buy a big box of sugary Godiva for you to eat on the plane."  He knew if given the opportunity, she would eat the whole box.

"Thanks," she said, her voice mildly annoyed that he knows her so much better than even Leo does.  "It's a non-stop from Dulles to Sacramento, then we get on a commuter plane about noon.  First class the first flight, three across -- I'll put Ari's carseat in the middle, and you can have the window seat."

"Sure give me the window seat in the middle of the night." teased Toby.  "And let me guess, on the commuter flight we have to flap our arms really fast?"

"Very funny.  Look you'd better go and get packed.  Where do you want me to pick you up, home or at work?"

"Home.  I'll be ready by 7."

"OK.  Look Toby, thanks, for everything."

He kissed her cheek. "You're welcome."

She kissed him back, and smiled.  "You're a lifesaver, you know."

"I know.  I'm also full of sugar..."

She snorted.  "I'll see you at seven."

"Yeah.  Bring a book for me, will ya?  I don't wanna get stuck with memos the whole way there."

CJ finished packing just as Leo and kids got back home with the pizza. She had fed Ari and put her in the bouncy seat, where she sat contentedly while everyone else ate.  She had just enough time to read a quick story to Rose and Pat before leaving to pick up Toby.

"Hey, climb in," she said as he came out with his bags.  "Make yourself at home -- can you take the rag and wipe Ari's mouth for me?  Her lips are getting chapped because she's drooling so much..."  She waited until Toby was in the car and seat belted before kicking them into gear and taking off down the street.  "Thanks."

"No problem -- you bring enough stuff for the baby?" he asked.

"I think so, and if not, there are plenty of places to pick up diapers and stuff like that."  She sighed.

"You sure you don't want Leo to come instead of me?" he asked.

"No, Toby, I'm not sure, but I really don't have a choice, do I?" she snapped.

"OK.  I was just asking."

The rest of the drive to Dulles was spent in slightly uncomfortable silence.  CJ dropped Toby and the baby at the terminal and went to put the car in long-term parking.  Apparently Ari had started to fuss the minute she drove away cause Toby was pacing the terminal with her while keeping one eye on their luggage.

"Here," CJ insisted, taking Ari from him once she got there.  "She's hungry," she said unnecessarily, pulling a bottle out of the diaper bag and plugging it into Ari's mouth unceremoniously as they headed for their gate.  They checked in and sat in silence, waiting to board.

Being in first class and traveling with an infant certainly had its advantages.  The flight attendants went out of their way to help them on the plane and get them settled.  Toby ended up putting the baby by the window and taking the middle seat himself as it was dark and cloudy anyway.

Ari dozed off as they taxied to the runway.  Takeoff was smooth and by some miracle the baby slept through it.  CJ and Toby read in silence for a while, not paying attention to the in-flight movie.  Somewhere over the mid-west Toby nodded off with his head on CJ's shoulder.

She smiled and reached for the air phone to call Leo.  When he picked up, she said, "Hey, it's me."

"Hey you -- it's quiet."

"Yeah, they're both sleeping."

"That's good... I wish I was there with you."

"I know, but..."

"No buts, Claudia."

"Yeah," she said very quietly.  "I'll call you when we get on the ground, okay?"

"Okay.  I love you both."

"I love you too, Leo."

"Talk to you later."

She hung up the phone with a sigh.  Toby shifted in his sleep and moved to away from her without really waking up.  CJ leaned across Toby to check on Ari, she was still sound asleep.

With the knowledge that she was quiet, CJ nodded off herself.  She didn't wake up until Ari began fussing, needing a diaper change.

Toby grumbled in his sleep, and CJ poked him.  She pulled Ari out of the seat and took her to the lavatory and changed her diaper.  "You need to be quiet, darling," CJ whispered as they walked back to their seats.

Ari looked at her, screwed up her face and started screaming.  That woke Toby up instantly.  He stood up to let CJ take the middle seat so she could nurse Arianna.

CJ managed to calm her down fairly quickly.  Which was a good thing considering the three well-dressed business travelers that were seated across the aisle from them didn't really seem like the type to take kindly to a screaming infant in first class.

The rest of the flight went by without any major tantrums from either Arianna, or Toby for that matter.  He was quiet, pretending to read and sleep for the remaining few hours.  CJ tried a few time to start a conversation with him but each attempt was met with grunts, sighs and general disinterest.  She tried not to take it personally.  After all she did drag him across the country on 4 hours notice.  Things had been rough at work for a few weeks and he was exhausted.  She glanced over at him.  He had his eyes closed but was obviously not sleeping.  She pressed a kiss to his temple and whispered, "Thank you."

He kind of grunted and sighed in reply, but she knew that meant, "you're welcome".  Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep, waking up only as they began to descend and Arianna whined in her sleep.  She put the baby back in her car seat and got ready to land.

They stumbled sleepily off the plane and into the terminal.  They took turns using the restrooms and watching the baby.  Finally they settled down with two huge cups of coffee and something to eat.

CJ sighed.  "And now we wait."

"How long?" Toby grumbled.

"Till noon."

"Why don't we just rent a car -- it'd be faster."

"Yeah, but... Ari in a car, Toby, is not a pretty sound."

"Yeah," he agreed.  "She's a little bitch, isn't she?"

"Definitely," CJ agreed.  "But she can't help it."

"Yeah, kind of like her..."

"Tobias Ziegler, stop right there," warned CJ with a gleam in her eye.

He grinned and turned his attention back to his coffee and CNN, which was playing on the nearby television set.

CJ went back to eating her breakfast and didn't pay much attention to the TV.  She wondered why, suddenly, she didn't care so much about her job and world events as she did her family.  It had always been the other way around -- until Arianna was born.

She motioned to Toby that she was going to take a walk over to the newsstand for a minute.  He waved her away and went back to watching TV. She stood in front of the magazine rack for a long time, nothing catching her interest in the news magazine section, most of their contents were old news to her.  She grabbed Cosmo, Parents and a pack of Juicy Fruit gum.  At the counter she picked up a newspaper for Toby. She paid for her purchases and headed back across the terminal.

The wait was boring as all hell, but then they were on another little plane and on their way at lunchtime.

When they landed, Toby headed off to pick up the rental car and CJ sat down to give Ari her bottle.  "Poor baby," she said quietly as Ari rubbed her ears in annoyance and then rubbed her eyes tiredly.

They settled in for the drive.  It was a gorgeous day out and Ari seemed to be content to watch the scenery from the back seat.  CJ called her parents and told them they would be there within the hour.  As she watched the landscape go by she could feel Toby glancing from the road to her, obviously deciding whether or not to say something.

"Whatever it is, just say it Toby." she sighed wearily.

"I shouldn't be here, Leo should."

"I know, but he can't be," she said, rubbing her eyes and sighing.  "You know he's too important in the administration to just drop everything and come with me.  It was bad enough yesterday when he dropped everything to come to Arianna's appointment with me, dammit."  She crossed her arms over her chest protectively.  "It's the price of being married to him."

"I suppose you both agreed that I would be the best choice?"

"No, Toby, I thought you'd be, because, well... Kate loves you.  She knows you.  We stand a better chance of getting her to do something with you and me both here."

"Okay."

"And Leo can't stand being with the kids on a plane."

"Ah."

"Yeah, you'd think he'd be used to it by now, actually.  We've certainly all flown enough." she said for no particular reason other than to keep some conversation going in the car.

"Yeah... want to find something on the radio?" Toby asked.

"It'll wake Ari up," she said hesitantly.

"Shit," Toby muttered.

CJ sighed and pulled out her cell phone, dialing Leo's office.

He was in a meeting with Jed but Margaret said she would give him the message as soon as he got out of the Oval.

Just as the silence in the car became almost too much to bare Toby steered the car off the main road and onto the gravel drive leading to the Cregg family home.  CJ ran her hands through her hair and pulled down the mirror to put on some lipstick.

"CJ, you look fine." he said as he parked the car in the driveway.

She glanced over at him.  "How would you know?" she shot back.  "You haven't looked at me once since we left Washington."

He sighed and looked at her.  "You look fine."

"Whatever."

She took a deep breath and opened the car door.  Toby had already unhooked Ari's seat by the time she stretched her legs and walked around to the other side of the car.  She held out her hand for the seat but Toby shook his head and carried it himself.  CJ's parents had just come out onto the porch to greet them.

"Hi, sweetie," Thomas said, pulling CJ into a big hug.  "Sorry we had to call you like this -- where's Leo?"

"He couldn't leave Washington," CJ replied quietly, moving to hug her mother.  "Where is she?"

"Still in her room -- we won't do anything until we've seen if you and Toby can do something for her."

"OK" said CJ softly.  "You ready?" she asked, turning towards Toby.

He nodded and handed the baby to Lilian.  They walked slowly into the house and down the hall to Kate's bedroom.  CJ reached out and squeezed Toby's hand as she pushed the door open.

"Hi, Katie," she said brightly as she walked into the room.

There was a gurgle from the bed, and CJ stepped forward.  "I know I've been gone a long time, sweetheart, but I'm gonna be here a few days, okay?  And look who I brought with me -- it's Uncle Toby!"  She reached out to take Kate's hand in her own.  "Look at you -- you've grown like a beanpole since I saw you last!"

Toby sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed back Kate's blond hair.  He kissed her forehead.

"Hey kid.  Sorry it's been a while." he said as he took her other hand.

He looked at Kate and for the first time ever he realized just how much she looked like her father.  And something about that realization made him extremely uncomfortable, sad even.  He shouldn't be here, Leo should.

"Toby..Toby..."

He turned to see CJ, who had obviously been trying to get his attention.  "You ok?"

He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Good, I'm going to go to the kitchen and get some food.  You ok here with Kate?" she asked, eyeing him warily.

"Of course, we'll be fine."

CJ nodded, not quite believing him, and headed downstairs to get some food.  As she started back up the stairs, Arianna started screaming.  It wasn't a hungry scream or even a "I have a dirty diaper" scream.  It was her patented "I want Mommy" scream.

"Shit," CJ muttered, glancing back up the stairs, then down towards the living room.  "Shit shit shit shit shit!" she muttered, turning to go back downstairs and retrieve Arianna from her mother before running upstairs with the plate of food for Kate.

She managed to make it up the stairs with a plateful of food in one hand and a screaming infant in the other.

"She hungry too?" asked Toby pointing towards Ari.

"I don't know," she muttered as she handed the plate to Toby and glanced at her watch.  It was still on DC time.  She sighed wearily, almost too tired to figure out the 3-hour time difference in her head. "Yeah, she's probably hungry."

"Well, you feed her cause I, well, can't...I'll feed Kate."

CJ settled down in the overstuffed chair next to the bed to nurse the baby while she watched Toby prop Kate up with some pillows and try to get her to eat something.

Kate ignored Toby and watched her mother and little sister with rapt attention.  She made a noise that CJ recognized as her call for her mother, and sighed.  "Katie, sweetheart, wait just a minute, please," CJ begged.

Toby grunted and gave up.  "Ceej, this isn't going to work."

"That's fine, I'll be done here in a few minutes.  Kate looks content to watch her little sister.  Right sweetie?"

Toby put the plate of food on the nightstand and walked over to look out the window.  He stared out over the vineyard for a few minutes while CJ finished nursing the baby.  His cell phone rang just as CJ was trying to get Ari to burp.

"Yeah.  Hi Sam, what's up?  No, I don't want to change that line.  Trust me, it is better the way it is...no that's not just cause wrote the line.  Hold on a sec."  He looked over CJ and took the baby from her.  Settling Ari against his shoulder he returned to his conversation while walking down the stairs.  Just as he reached the landing Ari burped and spit up on him.

"You ok, Toby?" asked Sam with a laugh.

"Oh, shut up, Arianna just puked on me.  I gotta go.  Call me later."

He tossed the phone on the small table in the hall and went to the kitchen to look for some assistance.  Lilian took the baby from him and he cleaned off his shirt.

"Toby, I'll keep the baby for a while.  Why don't you go relax somewhere?  You look tired." said Lilian.

"Thanks" he replied, kissing her cheek and the top of Ari's head.  He wandered out onto the porch and sat in the swing.

CJ sat beside Kate on the edge of the bed, balancing the plate of food.  "Sweetie, you've got to eat," she murmured gently.  "Open up, please."

Kate obligingly opened her mouth and let her mother feed her some cooked carrots.

"That's my good girl," CJ cooed, knowing she was talking as much to a baby as a pre-teen.  "More?"

Kate finished chewing and opened her mouth again.

CJ fed her and told her about Rose and Pat and Ari, not telling her about Leo just yet.  She reasoned that Kate might not even understand what she was saying about the other children, so why bother bringing Leo into it yet.

She got Kate to eat most of what was on the plate.  Her father wandered in the room as she was braiding Kate's hair.

"How'd she do?"

"Pretty well.  Where did Toby and Arianna get to?"

"Ari's with Mom and I think Toby's on the porch swing.  Is he ok Claudia?  He looks tired and not exactly thrilled to be here."

CJ sighed.  "I told Leo about Kate.  And now Toby seems to think that, I don't know, that maybe he won't be needed anymore.  I tried to assure him that that would never be the case.  He wasn't thrilled about coming but I needed him to, I just wasn't ready for Leo to meet Kate.  Soon, but not just yet."

Thomas nodded.  "I understand, honey.  But I need to ask if you think you'll be able to take her somewhere along.  Mom and I aren't young anymore, and it's a lot of hard work taking care of her."

"I don't know, dad... I... We're having problems with Ari right now, and Rose and Pat are pissed at me enough, I don't know if..."

"Kate remembers Rose, you know."

"Yeah, I know."  CJ sighed.

"Why don't you go check on Toby?  I'll stay here."

"Thanks, Daddy."

CJ stopped in the kitchen for something to drink and then wandered out onto the porch.  Toby was sound asleep in the swing, one hand propping his head up, the other wrapped around a glass of lemonade.  She took the glass from him before settling down in the rocker.

Deciding to let him sleep, she went back inside and headed upstairs to her room to make it ready for the night.  She was just getting the sheets spread on the portable crib when her cell phone rang.  She grabbed it and said, "Hey..."

"Hi," Leo replied.  "You guys get in okay?"

"Yeah -- Ari's had a couple of humdinger tantrums today already, but Kate's eating a little bit... she just won't eat for anyone but me."

"And your sidekick?" asked Leo with a bit of sarcasm.

"Asleep on the porch swing."

"CJ, I've been thinking about something, maybe you could enlighten me a little."

"Sure, what?"

"Years ago, when you and Rose first came to help out with the campaign, Rose used to mention visiting a friend of hers who didn't talk.  Was that Kate?"

"Yeah."

"So you obviously never told her that they are sisters?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because she was too young to understand.  Even now, I don't know if she'd understand."

"Give her a little credit, CJ."

"Leo, I really don't..."

"CJ."

"Yeah?"

"I talked to your dad while you were en route."

"Oh."

"I think we need to bring her home."

She sighed deeply into the phone.  "I know." she whispered. "We'll talk about it when I get home and then we will make the necessary arrangements.  So how's Pat doing at the office today?" she asked, eager to redirect the conversation.

"Good.  He played with Legos under the Kennedy desk during staff this morning.  He wandered around with Margaret for a while.  I have a dinner meeting with Jed so Josh and Donna are taking him out for dinner."

"Oh, Chuck E. Cheese?"

"No, I don't think Donna will be taking Josh back there anytime soon." chuckled Leo.  "They are going to grab hot dogs on the mall and take a walk.  Rose is dining with Abbey and Zoey in the residence.  She had a good time on her trip today."

"That's good.  Give them a kiss for me."

"I will, you kiss Ari for me.  I'll call you in the morning.  Love you."

"Love you too."

"I miss you," she said quietly.

"Yeah, I know -- I miss you, too.  It's too quiet," he teased.

"OOOH!" she giggled.  "You're mean!"

"Yeah -- I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay.  Love you."

"Bye."

She hung up and finished tucking the sheet in.  When that was done, she went down the hall to Kate's room to talk to her.

Kate was curled up in bed, staring blankly at the small television set on the dresser.  CJ turned off the TV and sat down next to Kate on the bed.

"Hey, kiddo.  Mommy's has to talk to you about something." she sighed and wondered how much, if any, Kate really understood.

Kate moaned when CJ shut off the TV, but then directed all of her attention at her mother.

"Do you remember Rose, sweetheart?  Your little sister Rose?"  She was rewarded with an almost imperceptible nod.  "You have another little brother and sister, too.  Your brother's name is Pat, and your other sister is Ari.  Would you like to come live with them?  With me?" she asked, not expecting a response of any kind.

She was startled when Kate smiled and laughed.  Taking that as a sign she decided to tell her about Leo.

"Your Daddy lives with us too.  His name is Leo.  He's...he's great.  Did you know you look a lot like him?  Well, you do.  He can't wait to meet you, ya know."

Kate continued to smile as CJ told her all about their house in DC, about her siblings and Leo.

"And just wait till you meet Uncle Jed and Aunt Abbey," CJ said, as Kate began to fall asleep.  "They'll love you so much..."  She picked up the washcloth and cleaned up Kate's face, finally beginning to understand that this was what she wanted to do.  She really wanted to take care of her children, not just go through the motions like she had been doing for so long.  She bent down and kissed Kate goodnight, and when she turned around, Toby was standing in the doorway.

"You're going to quit, aren't you?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

"I'm going to talk to Leo first, but yeah, I think I am."

She searched Toby's face for some kind of reaction.  None was forthcoming.

"Toby, say something, please.' she pleaded softly as she ushered him out of the room and down the stairs.  She led him to the kitchen and motioned for him to sit at the counter.

"I think it's great.  It's the right thing for you to do now."

"Do you really believe that, or are you just trying to avoid a difficult conversation?"

"Claudia Jean, I have never lied to you about anything to do with your kids.  I truly believe you need to be home with the kids at this point.  For your sake as well as theirs."

She nodded.  "Okay.  I don't think Jed will see it the same way, necessarily, but..."  She inhaled sharply.  "Yeah."

"If you ever need help, you know where to find the best baby-sitting network on the planet," he teased wryly.

"Yeah, and we always have Uncle Toby," she said with a smile as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Funny.  So how about some dinner?"

"Sounds good.  Where are my parents, by the way."?

"I sent them out to eat.  They need a break."

"And they'll be getting a long one, soon."

He chuckled.  "They took Ari and a couple of bottles and the diaper bag with them."

"So much for a break," she chuckled.

"Yeah, well -- what do you expect?"

"They'll come home wishing I'd left her with Leo," CJ said with a smirk, following Toby to the fridge.

He grabbed a pan of leftover lasagna and handed it to her over his shoulder as he reached for the grated cheese and the butter.

Ten minutes later they were at the kitchen table eating their dinner and drinking wine.

She sighed and ran her fingertip around the edge of her goblet.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"I miss Leo."  She smiled sadly.  "And I'm a little scared, y'know."

"Yeah," Toby agreed.

They ate in silence for a few more minutes.

"CJ?  Are things ok between you and Leo?"

"Yeah, I think so.  I mean, we're having a little trouble right now because of the kids, but I think we're fine."

"OK.  More wine?"

"No, thanks.  One glass limit for nursing mothers." she said.

"Oh yeah."

She laughed.  "You know, you always forget that part," she giggled.

Toby stood up, and hushed her.

"Shit," CJ muttered, getting up and heading for the steps.  Kate was awake and making a lot of noise.

She was halfway up the stairs when the house began shaking.  She ran the rest of the way up the stairs with Toby right behind her.  He scooped Kate up in his arms and the three of them made their way back down the stairs as the shaking started to subside.

Kate lay in Toby's arms, her babbling subsiding into frightened noises. CJ pulled them into a doorframe and soothed her daughter.  "It's okay, sweetheart, mommy's here," she whispered as an aftershock trembled through the house.  Pots and pans fell off the racks in the kitchen and she heard a loud thud from upstairs.  Not wanting to think about it, she protected Kate's head and tried not the think of a line from a movie that went something like, "Get in a doorway, put your head between your knees, and kiss your ass goodbye."

As quickly as it had hit, the earthquake ended and the house stood still.  Motioning for Toby to say in the doorway with Kate, CJ got up to survey the damage.  There didn't seem to be anything major, just things that had fallen off of the walls, the table, the shelves.  Even though she knew it would be dead, she picked up the phone anyway to check.  Nothing.  She tried to remember where her cell phone was on the off chance that that might work.

She had left it in Kate's room.  She went up the stairs slowly, checking for any damage that might have been done, even though she didn't really expect any, and went down the hall to Kate's room.

"Oh my God," she breathed.  Part of the ceiling had collapsed in on the bed.  She tried to make her way through the dust, and managed to find her phone on the floor.

She turned it on and tried to dial out -- success.

"CJ?" she heard Leo yell before she even got a chance to say anything.

"Yeah, it's me.  Kate and I are fine.  Ari's with mom and Dad, they went to dinner. I have to get a hold of them.  I love you."

Leo hung up the phone with trembling hands as he turned the sound up on the television.  He had been watching CNN in his office waiting for a phone call.  Pat was asleep on the couch and Rose was still in the residence.

Jed came running in the room a minute later.

"Did she call?"

"She and...she's fine but Ari is with her parents, she's trying to get a hold of them."

"Toby?"

"He's fine," Leo said

"God dammit, pick up the phone," CJ whispered.  "Pick up the goddamned PHONE!"  Her parent's cell phone kept ringing, but no one picked up.  She ran downstairs, car keys in hand.  "Toby, where did they say they were going for dinner?"

"I don't know, CJ, they didn't..."

"FUCK!" she yelled.  "Take care of Kate, please -- I have to find them."

She climbed in the rental car, cursing Toby and his short legs as she struggled to push the seat back.  As she turned onto the main road she made a mental list of her parent's favorite places to eat.  She decided to start with their favorite coffee shop in town.  All their friends ate there and it would be a good place to go if you were showing off your newest grandchild.

Part 4

CJ was in tears by the time she saw them outside, holding a screaming Ari. "Oh thank God!" she shouted, barely managing to get the emergency brake on before she was out of the car and taking her daughter out of her mother's arms. "Oh, God, I was so worried -- your phone... you didn't pick up..."

"We left it in the car," Thomas sighed. "That'll teach us -- how're things at the house?"

"The ceiling in Kate's room collapsed."

"Oh God! Was she..."

"Toby got her out before it did," CJ said, kissing Ari.

Thomas saw CJ was shaking so he steered her to a bench in front of the coffee house. CJ gave her Dad Toby's cellphone number and asked him to call and let Toby know they were fine. As Ari settled down in her arms the emotions of the past hour caught up with CJ and the tears started to fall.

She rocked the baby and sobbed as a couple of minor aftershocks shook them a little, but not enough to do any harm.

Her mother felt so helpless, but rubbed her back and tried to say something to comfort her anyway.

Thomas joined them after getting a hold of Toby. Kate had settled down and was back to sleep on the couch. Toby was going to call Leo to tell him that everyone was fine.

"Let's go home." CJ said as she wiped her eyes.

"Yeah," Thomas agreed. "You shouldn't drive, sweetie -- come in the car with your mom and I'll take your car back."

"Okay," CJ said quietly, swiping at her eyes. "Ready to go home, sweetpea?" she asked Ari, who had finally calmed down and was now gurgling, her fingers stuck in her mouth.

CJ all but collapsed in Toby's arms when they got back to the house. He led her inside and steered her towards a chair in the living room, next to where Kate was sound asleep.

He held her and comforted her until she was asleep, and then he called Leo on his cellphone, thanking God the batteries weren't dead yet.

"Leo, I don't care what the President says, you get your ass out here as soon as you can," Toby growled.

The sound of Toby yelling woke CJ. She smiled at him and he motioned towards the phone, silently asking her if she wanted to talk to Leo. She thought about it and shook her head no. He nodded, yelled at Leo for another few minutes and hung up.

"You gave it to him good, didn't you?" she teased.

"He's coming out as soon as he can get on Marine One," Toby said with a smile. "It did the trick, didn't it?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "But I'm not sure I want him to come," she said, sobering a little.

"Get over it -- he's coming."

"OK," she muttered under her breath.

By late afternoon the next day CJ was almost done helping her Dad and Toby clean up the mess in the house. Her mom was watching the girls and keeping an eye out for Leo. Just as CJ was debating whether or not she had time to take a quick shower a car pulled into the driveway and Leo got out.

She watched through the front window as her father welcomed Leo and brought him inside. She knew she looked terrible -- like a thousand miles of bad road -- but she wasn't prepared for his reaction when he saw her.

His eyes widened and he just came and hugged her as she began crying again. Within a minute he was crying too. Everyone left them alone in the kitchen with Arianna. Leo took his daughter in his arms and held her tight as he calmed himself down.

"Where's Kate?"

"She's upstairs with Toby. The ceiling in her room collapsed so she's in the guest room. Are you ready to meet her?" she asked softly.

Leo nodded and smiled at her. "Yes."

"Okay," she said quietly, taking his hand. They went upstairs, past Kate's room, where Leo was greeted with what was left of the devastation.

"My God..." he whispered.

"Yeah," she sighed, continuing down the hall to the room where Toby and Kate were.

"Now, to be an orator..." Toby was saying as CJ pushed open the door.

"To be an orator, mi compadre, first you have to speak," CJ pointed out.

"We're working on that." he smirked as he ruffled Kate's hair and stood up to leave. He held his hands out towards the baby and CJ hesitated for a second before handing her off.

Leo followed CJ into the room slowly.

CJ moved to Kate's bedside and smiled. "Hi, sweetie -- we're trying to clean up your room, so we can get you back in there, but it's kind of slow-going. But I'll bring the TV in tonight, so you can watch cartoons, okay?" She kissed Kate's cheek and smiled. "You remember I told you about Leo?"

Kate made a loud shrieking noise and smiled.

"Yeah, that's right, sweetheart. Would you like to meet Leo? Would you like to meet daddy?"

Kate smiled again and CJ held out her hand to Leo. He took it and sat down next to Kate.

"Hi Kate" was all he could whisper before he starting crying. CJ moved to put her arm around him as he took Kate's hand in his.

Kate started babbling and smiling in words only she understood, but whatever they were, they had to be good -- a glowing approval, would be the right term. She took her hand from Leo's and patted his cheek very gently, and saying, "Da..."

CJ nearly fainted and then started screaming for Toby. He came running up the stairs faster than he thought possible.

"What's wrong?" he asked breathlessly.

"She spoke, she tried to say Daddy." exclaimed CJ excitedly.

"CJ, it was probably a reflex action..."

"NO!" she said, shaking him by the shoulders. "You don't understand -- she looked right at him, patted him on the cheek, and tried to day daddy!"

"Okay, okay!" Toby said as she shook him to get the point across. "Woman, calm down!"

"Where are mom and dad?"

"They took Ari into town to buy her some more diapers."

"I brought plenty..."

"I kind of... uh... screwed up a few."

"A few?" she teased, "I had enough for 5 days."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." he muttered as he sat down next to Kate.

"Ya know kid, I'm a little disappointed. You just met him," he said pointing to Leo, "I've known you all your life, you should be saying my name."

Kate gurgled a bit and smiled. Toby leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"I'm going to go downstairs, so you can spend some time with your parents. See you later."

He patted Leo's shoulder and kissed CJ on the cheek before leaving them alone.

Leo smiled at CJ, and then down at Kate, albeit a little tearfully. "You're such a big girl," he said, rubbing her hand with his. "I'm sorry, sweetie -- I'm sorry I didn't come before now."

Kate laughed and patted his cheek again.

CJ stood back away from them, letting them get acclimated, but Kate looked over at her and squealed, apparently wanting her to come over.

CJ sat next to her and took her other hand. She looked at Leo with tears in her eyes as for the first time they were together as a family. Seeing Leo with Kate made her realize that taking Kate home with them was the only thing they could do. They needed to be a family, all 6 of them.

Lilian knocked on the door. "Lunchtime for Miss Thing, here," she said, balancing a tray with a bowl of macaroni and cheese with bits of tomatoes. "It's her favorite; I thought you could get her to eat a little more than she's been eating."

Leo glanced at CJ, "Can I try?" he asked hesitating a little.

"Sure" she said as she stood up. "I'm going to check on the baby and Toby. Call me if you need anything."

Leo took the bowl and sat on the edge of the bed. "OK Kate, think you can eat something for Daddy?"

Kate smiled and opened her mouth.

CJ smiled from the doorway as she watched for a moment before going downstairs. She thwapped Toby upside the head and motioned for him to move over on the couch. He was giving Ari a bottle, but he complied, albeit a little annoyedly.

"He's feeding her," CJ said mildly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I want to take her to another doctor, Toby. Because I think her brain might finally be rewiring around the tumor."

"She certainly seems more aware than I've ever seen her." said Toby as he handed CJ the bottle and propped Ari against his shoulder to burp her.

"Ya know, that look works for you." she teased.

"What, the I'm about to be covered in baby puke look?"

"Yeah."

He grunted. "Yeah, well, fatherhood isn't my calling." He burped Ari, then grumbled as she spit up a little on him.

"You sure about that?" CJ asked sweetly, taking the baby to clean her up. "Ginger certainly looks at you lustily enough."

Toby blushed a bit, unable to react to that statement. He went into the kitchen to clean off his shirt. He took Ari back from CJ when he returned to the living room. She just grinned at him.

"Leave me alone." he grumbled as Ari grabbed a hold of his finger and put it in her mouth.

"I think she's starting to teeth," CJ commented. "Which means more tantrums because her mouth'll be sore... and I didn't pack any orajel," she sighed.

"Want me to go get some?" Toby asked. "It's just down the highway to the store, right?"

She smiled. "Okay," she said. "Baby orajel, okay?"

"No problem," he replied, grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

CJ went back upstairs with the baby to see Leo giving Kate the last spoonful of macaroni and cheese and wiping her mouth before offering her the straw to her glass of juice.

"That's my girl," he said with a wide smile as she drank.

Kate finished and spit the straw out. "Da!" she cried, patting his hand.

CJ watched unnoticed for a few minutes until Kate spied her in the doorway and grunted happily. Leo turned to see both CJ and Ari smiling. He took Ari from CJ and settled down in the rocker next to the bed.

"Judging by the empty bowl, I'm guessing lunch was a big hit."

"Yep, sure was. I couldn't feed her fast enough," said Leo proudly.

Kate whined and made a fussy noise when he laid Ari down on his lap, out of her sight.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" CJ asked, worriedly, unable to figure out why Kate was upset.

Kate whimpered and made very angry noises until Leo pulled Ari back up into his arms. CJ looked over at Leo, then back at Kate.

"She wants to see the baby," Leo said softly.

He sat down on the edge of the bed with Ari and held her up so Kate could see her. Kate patted Ari's hand as CJ got teary eyed again.

"Sweetheart, you can't cry every time she does something," Leo teased gently, "I'll go broke buying tissues."

"I can't help it." she said as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

Ari gurgled and curled her hand into a little fist around one of Kate's fingers, and cooed in delight when Kate smiled.

"They're good for each other," CJ whispered.

"I think Kate wants to try to hold her," Leo said, a little worried. "Should I..."

"No," CJ said a little too sharply. Kate looked at her, and Ari began to cry because of the tone she had used. "Not now, anyway," CJ continued, modulating her tone a little.

"It's ok," whispered Leo as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'm going to take Ari downstairs and try to get her settled down for a nap." Leo said, turning his attention to Kate. She gave the baby's hand one last squeeze before Leo got up off of the bed.

Leo went downstairs, grabbed Ari's blanket and went out to rock her on the porch swing.

CJ was left with Kate, not quite sure what to do. It had honestly been so long since she'd been with her for any one stretch of time that every response was foreign to her.

"I'm sorry I snapped," she said hesitantly. "But I don't want anything bad to happen, you understand?"

Kate sighed and turned away a little.

"Katherine Cregg, listen to me," CJ said gently. "I love you. I love all of my children, and I don't want anything bad to happen to any of you." She touched Kate gently on the cheek, stroking the way she had when Kate was a baby. "You're my little girl, always, and I love you," she whispered as Kate relaxed into the touch, memories obviously sparking as comfort settled in.

CJ stayed until Kate fell asleep. She went out and found Ari and Leo on the porch swing. Ari was asleep and Leo wasn't far behind.

"Hey" he mumbled sleepily.

"Hey. Kate's asleep. Let me put her in the crib and why don't you go in and take a nap."

"Thanks, jet lag's starting to kick in."

CJ took Ari and put her in the crib in the guest room. She sat on the edge of the bed until Leo fell asleep too. When he was out she sat down at the kitchen table to make plans for taking Kate back to Washington.

She called Michelle and told her to get a bed set up in the den, and to make sure that the small TV was visible from the bed. She also couldn't remember if that TV was hooked to cable or not, so she asked Michelle to check, and if not, get it wired.

Before she hung up, she requested that Michelle kiss the kids for her. And then, once that conversation was over, she called Abbey.

Explaining everything to Abbey was easier than CJ had anticipated. She spent nearly two hours on the phone with her discussing everything from medical issues, to thoughts on how to explain things to Rose and Pat, and how to handle to press nightmare that was sure to develop. CJ asked Abbey to talk to Jed and fill him in.

And at the end of the conversation, CJ dropped the bomb. "And... well... I'm going to resign."

"CJ?" Abbey asked softly.

"I just want to take care of my children, Abbey -- I have four of them, and I want to be there for them as much as I can. I haven't been a very good mother since I took this job."

"I understand, but why don't you take a leave first. Get Kate settled in and see how things work out. What does Leo say?"

CJ was silent for a long time.

"CJ, you haven't told him of your decision yet, have you?"

"Not yet. He's asleep now and I'm going to talk to him when he gets up."

"Okay." Abbey smiled. "I know it's a few years too late, but congratulations. I'm sure she's a beautiful little girl, and I should be able to see for myself soon enough."

"Yeah," CJ replied. "I'm gonna go now and check on her, and maybe try to take a nap. I wonder what's taking Toby so long at the drug store... how hard is it to find baby orajel?"

"You sent Toby to find baby orajel?" teased Abbey.

"Yeah. You'd be amazed at the stuff Toby's done the past few days. Let's just say he's gonna make a great father some day."

"I'm sure he will. You take care. I'll have Jed call Leo sometime later. Give Leo and the girls a kiss from me."

"I will, thanks.

She hung up and tickled Ari, who squealed in reply, and picked up her bouncy seat to take her upstairs to check on Kate.

Kate was watching Dexter's Laboratory, and her face was as blank as CJ had ever seen it. With a heavy sigh, CJ headed back down the stairs, running into Toby at the foot.

"It took me several hours and a trip way the hell outta the valley, but I got your baby orajel!" he said, holding it up triumphantly. "Where is everyone?"

"Mom and Dad are out surveying damage to the vineyard, Leo's sleeping, and Kate's watching cartoons."

Toby held out his arms to take Ari from CJ.

"Tobias Ziegler, let me get the camera cause nobody's gonna believe me when I tell them all the stuff you've done for me over the past few days." she teased as he kissed Ari's cheek and made faces at her.

"Don't you dare" he warned. "I have an image to uphold."

"An image as Oscar the Grouch?"

He grunted, and motioned her away. "Go sleep or something, would ya?"

She laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "Kate needs her snack in about an hour -- if mom and dad aren't back, there are some baby carrots in a baggie in the fridge."

"OK, I can handle it. Where's the stroller?"

"Out on the porch. Taking the baby for a walk?"

"Maybe after your parents come in. Go upstairs, I don't want to see you for at least 2 hours." he said.

"Yes, sir." she replied with a mock salute.

"Your mother's crazy." he whispered into Ari's ear.

"I heard that." yelled CJ from the top of the stairs.

"Even if you heard it, it doesn't make it any less of the truth," Toby shot back.

She leaned over the railing and stuck her tongue out at him, then disappeared into the bedroom she was sharing with Leo.

He was all curled up in the bed like usual, and she slid into the bed behind him, wrapping her arms around him and immediately nodding off.

An hour later she awoke to the familiar wailing of her youngest child. Leo was still sound asleep next to her. She followed to wailing to Kate's room. Toby was trying to feed Kate and calm a screaming Ari at the same time.

"I think she wants something I'm not equipped to give her." he said as he smiled at CJ.

"Not a problem." she said taking the baby and settling down in the rocker. She nursed Ari while Kate had a snack and watched TV. Kate had allowed Toby to change the channel from Cartoon Network to CNN, thus giving everyone in the room something to do.

"Well," CJ commented dryly, "at least the world hasn't come to a spectacular end yet, since we've all been away..."

"Leo's phone hasn't rung once..."

"That's because I told Abbey to tell Jed not to call until later, and I shut his phone off."

"OK, that explains it. So what have you decided to do? Take Kate when we go back or come and get her in a few weeks?"

"We're going to go home together. I'd love to leave in a few days. You know, anytime you want to head back, feel free."

"Thanks, but I'll wait til we are all ready to go."

"What did I ever do to deserve you, Toby?" asked CJ quietly.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"Really, you're the best friend I could ever have asked to have in this world," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Would you stop kissing him," Leo grumbled from the doorway. "How many times do I have to tell you, Ziegler -- hands off my wife?"

"What's the matter Leo? Jealous?" asked Toby as he stood up and kissed Leo on the cheek. "I'm going to go and try to make some plane reservations so we can get back to civilization."

Leo wiped his cheek and grumbled as he took the baby from CJ.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four days later CJ was packing the last of Kate's things into a suitcase while her mother sat in the rocker crying.

CJ stood there, holding the suitcase, not sure what to do. She knew her mother understood why she was taking Kate with her, but on the other hand, her mother and father had raised Kate. It had to be a little like letting your baby leave the nest.

"Mom, you can call whenever, and you and daddy are always welcome," CJ assured her awkwardly.

"I know," sniffed Lilian as she grabbed another tissue out of the box in her lap.

"Lil, please stop crying." said Thomas from the doorway.

"I'm trying Thomas." she smiled.

Thomas carried down the suitcase as CJ finished packing the carry on bag. They were leaving for the airport in a little over an hour and she wasn't nearly as ready as she had hoped. She still needed to pack the rest of her things, nurse the baby and make a few phone calls.

Ari started screaming, and CJ raced to grab her and feed her. "Leo, can you finish packing my clothes?" she yelled. "They're in the dresser... and the baby's things -- we can't leave the blanket or she'll go apeshit."

"Fine, honey," Leo called back.

An hour later, as the car pulled away from the house, CJ was calmer than she had been in days. Everything was packed. The necessities were with them and the rest of Kate's things had been shipped the previous afternoon. Not knowing how well Kate would do with flying the doctor had given CJ something to calm her down, should she need it. At the moment CJ was debating whether or not to give the sedative to Toby or Leo. They were sitting in the front of the rental car. Toby was driving and the two of them were talking a mile a minute to each other, about totally different subjects. But somehow they were able to keep both conversations going.

"Your father and your uncle are both nuts." said CJ as she smiled at Ari and Kate.

Ari gave her a confused, "duh" look, and Kate patted her mother's arm.

CJ sighed, trying to shift her knees around the wheelchair that they had to keep Kate confined in until they could get her on the plane. It was folded up and stuck between the back of Toby's seat and her knees, because there had absolutely been no where else to put it.

"You ok back there?" asked Leo.

"Oh, just great unless of course I plan on walking sometime in the future." teased CJ.

They arrived at the airport. Checked what they could in at curbside check in, put Ari in the stroller and Kate in her wheelchair. They all tossed carry-on bags over their shoulders and they slowly made their way to the gate.

Leo went to check them all in, and Toby took Ari for a little walk, over to go get some Popsicles from one of the little airport restaurants.

Which left CJ with all of the bags and Kate, who was bewildered about what was going on.

"Don't worry honey, I feel the same way." said CJ with a giggle.

Eventually they boarded the plane, which was a project in itself. By the time the plane took off the adults were all ready for a nap and the girls were wide-awake, but fortunately not being too noisy.

The woman sitting in front of Leo and Ari turned around and smiled. "Oh, isn't she just lovely? How old is she?"

"Four months," Leo said automatically. Ari looked up at the strange lady and began to cry, not scream, just cry.

"Let me have her, honey," CJ said softly from behind Leo. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind spending a little time with her sister and me..."

The nosy lady's eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw Kate.

She wisely turned around without a word. CJ took Ari in her arms and held her up so Kate could see her. Kate grabbed the baby's hand and gurgled happily. Toby moved up to sit next to Leo to take about work for a while. CJ nursed Ari and settled her down on her shoulder while she watched the in flight movie.

Both girls settled in for a nap, and CJ drifted off, as well. She didn't wake up until Leo had reached back to shake her awake. "Honey, it's dinnertime," he said softly.

She stretched awake and put down the tray table in front of her. The flight attendant brought two meals and offered to get something different for Kate if she didn't like the turkey that was served. CJ wasn't too sure about the turkey but Kate ended up eating it as well as some mashed potatoes and some ice cream.

After dinner they played musical chairs and got settled in for the rest of the flight. Toby ended up next to Ari, Leo with Kate and CJ by herself. She pulled out her laptop and typed an undated, formal letter of resignation. She and Leo had talked for hours about her decision to quit. He was behind her, no matter what she decided. Toby was more than understanding and supportive even though he knew he would miss seeing her everyday. Now the only thing left to do was to tell Jed. CJ hadn't wanted to do it over the phone but she knew he had an inkling of what was to come.

She saved the file and closed her laptop, then carefully put it away. She smiled as she watched Leo leaning over to talk to Kate, and knew that her decisions were for the best.

She settled in for the rest of the flight and decided to take a nap.

They landed at Dulles and were met unexpectedly by Josh and Donna. Rose and Pat were at the White House with Abbey and Jed. Josh took the baby from Leo and Donna helped CJ to settle Kate into the wheelchair.

CJ was practically in tears. "Uh, Donna, this is Kate. Kate, this is... this is Donna -- how did you guys know..."

"Abbey sent us," Donna said simply. "She said you'd need some help."

"That's an understatement." muttered CJ. "Here, you push Kate and I'll open up the stroller so Josh doesn't have to carry the baby."

"That's ok, let him carry her, he could use the practice." said Donna with a grin.

"What?" asked CJ, suddenly more awake than she had been in the past 8 hours.

Donna laughed. "I"m not pregnant -- yet, anyway."

CJ shook her head wearily. "Donna, I've just spent eight hours traveling with a motley crew on what should've just been a three hour tour. Speak in short sentences with visual aids."

"Well, CJ, if you need visual aids you have bigger problems than I would have ever imagined." teased Donna as she unlocked the wheels on Kate's wheelchair.

For some reason that struck CJ as the funniest thing that had happened to her in days. She laughed harder than she had in a very long time.

"Care to share with the rest of the class?" asked Toby.

"Uh, no, not really." said Donna, before CJ could say anything.

Slowly the motley crew made it to the car Abbey and Jed had sent for them.

CJ was still laughing insanely by the time Leo shoved her into the car and practically sat on her lap. "Shut up, will ya?" he said.

"I'm sorry I can't help it. It's been a long day."

"It's been a long week." muttered Toby from the other side of the car.

After much discussion of where everyone was getting dropped off Toby, Josh and Donna were dropped at the White House. Toby was going to get the kids and bring them home. Josh and Donna decided to let Leo and CJ get the 4 kids settled in at home and they would visit the next day. The driver helped carry everything in to the townhouse and left them with a screaming Arianna, a confused Kate and a pile of luggage in the foyer.

Michelle came running downstairs and took Arianna to get her diaper changed, because, well, no one else looked like they were going to be moving any time soon.

CJ looked around the foyer at the piles, and just started to cry. She had never in her whole life felt so overwhelmed as she did at that moment.

Leo steered her towards the couch and then picked Kate up and sat her next to CJ.

"You girls stay here, I'll move this stuff before Toby gets back with Rose and Pat." said Leo as he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

"Fine," said CJ weakly, "But be careful of your back, please."

"I'll be fine," he was quick to assure her.

"Okay," she mumbled, wiping her eyes and turning to Kate. "Well, sweetie, how 'bout some TV?"

Kate grinned as CJ found the remote under the pile of coloring books on the coffee table. She turned to Cartoon Network and was just getting comfortable when she heard the unmistakable sounds of little feet on the hardwood of the foyer.

"MOMOMOMOMOM!" Pat shrieked, tearing into the room. He stopped short. "Who's that?!"

"That's Kate," said Rose as if everyone should know who Kate was. She climbed up on the couch and took Kate's hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Pat gave Kate a slightly uneasy look as he climbed onto the couch and into CJ's lap.

"Kate's your big sister, sweetie," CJ said softly to Pat. "She lived with Nana and Grandpa until Daddy and I brought her home this afternoon."

Kate laughed at something she saw on the TV, as much as the fact that Rose was giggling, too.

Pat covered his ears. "She's LOUD!"

CJ laughed as she stood up with Pat in her arms. "How about we go check on Ari?"

"She's loud too." complained Pat.

"Leo, leave the luggage and give me a hand please." CJ yelled up the stairs.

"Just a minute, Toby and I are almost done." he yelled back.

Five minutes later Toby was settled on the couch with Rose and Kate, Pat was in his room with Leo and CJ was nursing the baby on her bed.

The phone rang, and CJ paid it no mind, preferring to just kind of rest. Leo came into the room a minute or two later, a smile on his face. "Hey."

"Hey," CJ murmured. "What's up?"

"Jed and Abbey are coming over for dinner -- the agents should be arriving soon to sweep."

She stared at him. "Leo..."

"They're bringing dinner -- they've already ordered pizza and salads."

CJ didn't even have the energy to argue, not that it would have done any good anyway. "Here, hold her while I take a two minute shower" she said, handing the baby off to him.

Twenty minutes later CJ opened the door to Jed and Abbey with a smile plastered on her face and a screaming Ari on her hip.

"Welcome to Castle McGarry," she said hyper-cheerfully. "Come on in and make yourselves comfortable. I've got to get her down for a nap and go feed Kate... oh, sir, I'm sorry," she said, her eyes suddenly widening. "Kate is..."

"Your daughter. I know. It's in your FBI file, CJ."

CJ just stared at him, dumbfounded that he knew and never said anything and even more so, that she never thought about the fact that that information would be part of her file. She looked at Abbey with an unspoken question on her lips.

"No, I didn't know." said Abbey as she reached for Arianna.

Jed smiled gently. "And you also claim her on your taxes every year -- not the joint ones, unless you can sneak her in without Leo looking, but the individual ones."

She stared at him. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Jed chuckled. "Leo never even looked at your files when he hired you. But you better believe I did. I was curious about why, but could never find an appropriate way to ask."

"And I thank you for that. It's taken me a long time to get where I am at this very moment. I'm glad I could do things on my terms."

Leo appeared in the doorway to the kitchen with Pat in his arms. Pat squirmed for Leo to put him down and he made a beeline for Jed's legs.

"Uncle Jed," Pat said, "can we show mommy how to make a glass out of paper?"

CJ laughed. "Teaching him origami?" she asked, heading into the kitchen to get Kate's food.

"The ancient Japanese art of paper folding is something that every child should know," Jed shot back.

"I know how to make a crane and a frog," Rose piped up, turning on her knees to look over the back of the couch.

"Rosita, don't bounce Kate, please," Toby grunted as Kate kind of fell over into his lap.

"Sorry, Kate." said Rose as she patted her hand.

Leo and CJ stayed back for a minute as Jed and Abbey went into the living room to meet Kate. Toby did the introductions as Rose looked on.

"Pat, I'm going to put you down, so I can say hello to your sister," Jed said mildly, putting Pat down. Pat went off to his daddy's big chair to sulk.

Toby said, "Mr. President, Dr. Bartlet, this is Katherine Cregg. Kate, honey, this is President Bartlet and Dr. Bartlet."

Kate stared at them blankly, then opened her mouth and screamed, "DA! MAAAAA!"

CJ and Leo entered the room laughing.

"OK, Leo have you been telling Kate about me?" asked Jed with a smile.

"Nothing, must have been Toby." said Leo innocently.

Toby stood up and Abbey took his place on the couch next to Kate. CJ sat down on the coffee table in front of them. Abbey brushed back Kate's hair.

"Screaming DA and MA is a new thing." said CJ. "I'm trying to keep things in perspective but it's hard not to get excited about it."

"Are there any other differences you notice in her since the last time you saw her?"

"She just seems...brighter, I guess would be a good word, more alert. Maybe it's just me and my wishful thinking." said CJ with a sigh.

"But maybe it isn't. Give her a few days to settle in and then make an appointment with the neurologist."

"I hate the idea of them putting her in all of those goddamn machines again," CJ sighed in frustration. "I was a nervous wreck after her last set of scans -- I was pregnant with Pat at the time."

"That's why you were so wound up," Abbey said, a light bulb finally clicking.

"Yeah. I just don't know, Abbey -- I'm scared for her because, well, she can't say she hurts or she's frightened."

Abbey smiled. "Claudia, she just might."

"What?"

"You heard me. If she's saying 'MA' and 'DA', it's quite possible her brain is finally adapting and hardwiring into other centers than the ones that are usually associated with speech and motion and..."

"CJ," Leo said, coming up beside her.

"Hey, yeah?"

"I'm going to try to let Jed feed her. Well, I'll start, but I want to see if maybe, if I give my approval on something as small as..."

"YES!" CJ shouted.

Much to everyone's surprise Kate allowed Jed to feed her some yogurt and peaches. Leo and CJ looked on proudly as the leader of the western world wiped vanilla yogurt from their daughter's face.

Pat broke the quiet, happy moment before everyone got too emotional. "Mommy, I'm hungry. Where's the food?" he asked, loudly.

Part 5

"It's coming," CJ assured him. "Go see if you can help set the table."

It was hours until everyone was gone and the dinner mess was all cleaned up and the kids were tucked into bed.

CJ came out of the bathroom and saw Leo lying on the bed, half-asleep. "Not sleeping on the job, are we?" she asked, taking off her bathrobe and dropping it on the end of the bed.

"No, just preserving my energy." he chuckled.

"Good, you're gonna need it old man."

He laughed and pulled her down onto the bed. "I have a feeling you're the one that's going to need it. This is what happens when we haven't made love in five months."

She raised an eyebrow and stifled a laugh.

"OK, woman, lemme have it." he teased.

She didn't have to be told twice.

The next morning, she dragged herself out of bed and toward the sound of voices coming from Ari and Kate's room.

Leo was feeding Ari, Kate was smiling, Pat was sitting in the overstuffed chair, playing with his plush football, and Rose was reading "Cat in the Hat" to them all.

"Aww," CJ said softly.

Leo looked over at her. "We're a regular Norman Rockwell painting, eh?"

"Yeah, let me get the camera, I'm sure it won't last."

It didn't. Ari started to fuss and Pat tossed the football at her head. Her fussing turned to full fledged screaming.

Pat climbed off the chair and picked up the football with all the innocence he could muster given his current situation.

"Leo Patrick, get in your room." yelled CJ. Leo handed her the baby.

"I think she wants the real thing," he said, leering slightly at CJ's chest.

CJ gave him a look and shook her head at him. "Go talk to your son."

Leo went into the room to talk with Pat. "Okay, kid, you can't just throw things at your sister."

"Why not?"

"Because you're bigger and you know better."

"She's too noisy."

"Hey, did you know I have five little sisters?"

"No."

"You have to meet 'em sometime -- I used to want to smack 'em senseless, but they're my sisters. And I love 'em."

"Can I have breakfast?"

"How about you come to work with me, we can eat in the Mess with the boys."

"Good, no girls."

"What about Margaret and Aunt Donna?"

"I like them, they have toys...and food."

Leo chuckled. "Get dressed while I go talk to Mommy."

Pat nodded and headed for the dresser, while Leo went back into the other room. "I'm taking Pat with me," he said.

"Okay -- I'm going to have my hands full with Ari and Kate, even with Michelle's help," CJ sighed, wincing as Ari bit her.

"Wait till she has teeth."

"Honey, you're not helping. I'll call you later. Call if you need Michelle to come pick Pat up."

Forty five minutes later Leo and Pat were eating breakfast in the Mess with Josh and Sam.

Leo pointed a fork at Sam. "You tell him yet?" he asked Josh.

"Tell me what?" Sam asked.

"I have three stupid sisters," Pat piped up.

"Huh?" muttered Sam. Ainsley had just walked into the Mess and his attention was elsewhere.

"Sam, pay attention, this is important." said Josh as he kicked him under the table.

"I'm sorry Pat. Did you just say you have 3 stupid sisters?" asked Sam totally confused.

Leo sighed and launched into an explanation as Josh excused himself. "And CJ's resigning, because she wants to take care of the kids. I think she's kicking herself about birth control."

Pat looked up at him. "Daddy, what's birth control?"

"Nothing you need to worry about for a long time."

Pat finished his eggs and he and Leo walked hand in hand to Leo's office. Leo set Pat up at the table with some toys and a video so he could go talk to Jed before the staff meeting.

"Hey, how are things?" Jed asked, hanging up the phone.

"CJ's overwhelmed, and, quite frankly, so am I. We're just not young anymore."

"None of us are. You look exhausted, kids keep you up?"

"No, not exactly," said Leo as he felt his face turn red.

"Oh," muttered Jed as he looked at something on his desk and then back at Leo. "OH" he smiled as the light bulb went off.

"Yeah. Anyway..." Leo shrugged and blushed.

"Yeah," Jed said as the rest of the senior staff filtered into the room.

Halfway through the meeting Pat wandered in, stood on the seal and looked around for a friendly lap to sit on. Leo was pacing around the room trying to keep the meeting from escalating into a shouting match. Pat climbed up onto Josh's lap and made himself comfortable.

With Pat's presence a consideration the tone of the meeting changed and some things actually got accomplished.

After the meeting ended Leo and Pat went back into Leo's office, where Leo settled his son down on the couch with a coloring book and crayons. He was waiting for Senator Stanley to arrive so they could have their little meeting on environmental policy when Margaret came in, saying, "Leo, CJ's on the line, and she sounds really really... something."

"Something?" Leo asked, reaching for the phone. "Hey, honey," he said.

"LEO!" CJ yelled. "She said something -- Kate SAID something!"

"What? She actually..."

"She said baby, Leo. She pointed at Ari and said baby."

"CJ, honey, are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive."

"That's great. Look, I have to go, Toby's giving me the eye."

"Tell him the good news. Love you."

"Love you, too." he said as he turned his attention towards Toby.

"Yeah?" he said, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"I was gonna ask about the thing on the Hill, but what's got you smirkin' like a lunatic?"

"Toby, she's talking. Kate's talking."

"That's great."

"It sure is. Now what about the meeting on the Hill?"

As it turned out Leo had to go with Toby to the Hill and help him pacify some Republican members of Congress. Josh offered to keep an eye on Pat for Leo so Michelle wouldn't have to come pick him up.

After CJ hung up with Leo, the first thing she did was call Abbey. "Abbey, she's talking!" she said excitedly. "She said baby. She pointed at Ari and said BABY."

"Wow, that's great. I think maybe things are starting to come together. Did you make an appointment with the neurologist yet?"

"Yeah, Kate has an appointment in two weeks and I scheduled some tests for Ari next week."

"What tests?"

"I can't remember, I have the list downstairs in the kitchen, I'm upstairs in Kate's room."

"Don't run and get it now. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Give the girls a kiss."

CJ hung up and sat back down on the bed with Ari and Kate.

She smiled and asked very quietly, "Kate, would you like to hold Ari?"

"BAYBY..." Kate said proudly, trying to hold out her arms."

CJ smiled and moved to put Ari in her big sister's arms. Kate smiled as she tried to wrap her arms around Ari. Not too sure about the new set of arms around her Ari began to fuss rather quickly. But Kate didn't seem to mind.

"Baby ree..." Kate babbled, making hush noises at Ari, who looked up at her and stopped crying. In fact, she started to wave her little arms and shriek happily.

"Why I..." CJ said, laughing.

Kate smiled and laughed as she held her sister.

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly and without any major disaster either at home or at work. Leo got back from his meeting on the hill a little before 4 to find Pat sound asleep on the couch in Josh's office.

Leo smiled and nodded at Josh before continuing on to his office. Pat was still banned form the bathrooms without supervision, but it was still a bit of surprise when Josh carried him in. Pat's pants were soaked, and Josh was a little annoyed.

"He wet the couch."

"Oh for... Josh, he's not even three -- give him a break," Leo grumbled, pulling out a spare set of clothes he'd taken to keeping in his bottom drawer.

"Sorry," mumbled Josh, "I'm just a little..something today."

"What did you do to piss Donna off?" asked Leo with a smirk.

"I don't even know. How am I supposed to apologize when I'm not even sure what I did?" groaned Josh.

"Don't ask me -- I have no idea," Leo sighed, taking Pat by the hand. "I just apologize every day out of habit, even when I haven't done anything."

"Yeah, well, you and CJ have the perfect relationship," Josh mocked.

Leo turned around and glared at him.

"You know what, I'm just gonna," stuttered Josh as he pointed towards the door.

"Good idea." said Leo, "Thanks for watching Pat." he added.

"No problem." replied Josh quietly as he ruffled Pat's hair and then left quietly.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Leo sighed, taking Pat to the bathroom.

"Sorry, Daddy," he mumbled as Leo washed him up.

"It's not your fault, kiddo. Just hold still a sec... Okay, now, you need help getting changed?"

"No..."

"Okay, go ahead."

After one more staff meeting Leo and Pat were on their way home by 6. Rose was waiting for them on the front steps when they got home.

"Hey, sweetie. Whatcha doing out here?" asked Leo.

"Nothing, just waiting for you."

"What's wrong, Ari being loud again?"

"Nope, she's sleeping and Mommy's feeding Kate so I decided to sit out here and think."

"Oh, so what are you thinking about?" asked Leo as he sat down on the step next to her with Pat in his lap.

"When it was just Mommy and me." Rose sighed. "And my other Daddy."

Leo gritted his teeth. "Yeah."

"I liked it."

"Yeah."

"But I might like this, too."

"Well, Rose, I think you already like this. I know things have been a little rough lately, but we'll get through it. Look, tomorrow's Saturday, why don't you come to work with me for a little while and then we'll do something together, just the two of us?"

"Really Daddy?"

"Yeah. So let's go in and see what's for dinner." Leo said, motioning towards the front door.

"Okay."

"What 'bout me?" Pat whimpered.

"Well, you got me all day today, kiddo," Leo said.

"No I didn'.. I got Uncle Josh and Aunt Donna and Aunt Abbey."

"Pat, you went to work with Daddy today, tomorrow's Rose's turn."

"Fine." mumbled Pat, sounding frighteningly like his father.

The next morning Rose and Leo walked hand in hand into the West Wing. As much as Leo like taking Pat with him it was so much easier to take Rose. She could entertain herself, she didn't usually need a nap in the middle of the afternoon and she didn't need a chaperone in the bathroom.

And so he maintained it was easier until he heard Rose talking to Jed about how much she hated having all manners of siblings as she did.

Leo sighed and buried his head in his work again.

Margaret poked her head in a while later to see if he needed anything.

"No, I'm fine. Have you seen Rose?"

"I think she's with Donna. Everything ok?"

"I don't know. Rose and Pat are having a little trouble with our growing family."

"Yeah," Margaret agreed mildly. "A big family can be a pain."

"You're supposed to be my assistant."

"And I'm assisting you in figuring this out."

"Oh, OK. Well, have to go see Josh for a moment but if you have any brilliant ideas be sure to jot them down for me." he smirked as he stood up to leave.

"And if you would be so gracious as to bite me, Leo..." Margaret muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing Leo," she smiled.

"That's what I thought. By the way..."

"Yeah, I know, I'm a good girl." said Margaret completing his description of her that she found quite endearing, even though she would never tell him that.

He smiled. "Okay, well, I'm gonna go do this thing with Josh. Y'know, feel free to drop by and see us sometime."

She chuckled to herself as she watched him walk out the door and down the hallway.

Leo found Rose at Donna's desk playing solitaire on the computer while Donna filed.

"He in there?" asked Leo pointing towards Josh's closed door.

"Yeah, knock, I think he's on the phone."

Leo tapped quietly on the door and pushed it open. Josh was still on the phone but he waved him in.

"Yes, I will pick the ring up Monday night. See you then."

Leo smiled at Josh as he hung up the phone. "You proposed weeks ago, it's about time you got the ring."

Josh sighed. "Hush. There was a problem with the diamonds, then the gold, and then the setting, and..."

"Go no further," Leo laughed, holding up his hand.

"Anyway, I'm picking it up and she'll have it in a few days."

"Good. So, set a date yet?"

"No, we haven't really discussed it yet. I guess some of that depends on what happens around here, 7 months from now. Be nice to know where we are going to be living and working come next January."

"We'll be here." declared Leo with a smile.

"Without CJ, it won't be worth it anymore," Josh sighed. "Anyway... when's she leaving officially?"

"She's turning in her papers next week."

"Ah. Well, here's to family, eh?"

"Josh, you're talking to the family man. No maligning the family, okay?"

"Okay" said Josh quietly.

The phone rang again and Leo left Josh's office. Rose was still playing on Donna's computer when Leo came in.

"You know Donna, you can put her to work." teased Leo.

"Daddy" whined Rose in the tone that only an 8 year old can manage.

"Hey, that's a great idea." said Donna as she closed the filing cabinet drawer and handed Rose a file, "Can you give this to Sam for me?" she asked.

"Sure." replied Rose happily as she finished her game of Solitaire.

Rose spent the rest of the morning running little errands for the staff and generally staying entertained.

CJ called about lunchtime, and said she'd be coming in with the girls and Pat, accompanied by Michelle, to deliver her resignation and make her last briefing as press secretary.

Leo hung up the phone as Jed entered the room.

"Leo, you ok?" he asked, a little worried about his best friend.

"Yeah. CJ's on her way in with the girls and Pat. She's gonna do one last briefing. I've be preparing myself for this moment for the past week but now it's..."

"Hitting you all at once?"

"Yeah. It's going to be strange around here without her."

"Leo, she's doing the right thing."

"I know, Jed, I know."

Jed nodded and patted Leo on the shoulder. "You'll want to be with her, yeah?"

"Yes, sir."

"Back to business, eh?" Jed teased gently. "You going to introduce Kate to the press?"

"I don't know what she's planning to do."

"Well, I have a quick meeting. Let me know if you need anything. I'll try to sneak in the back for the briefing."

"Thanks. I'll see you in a while."

Leo took a quick trip with Rose down to the Mess for a bite to eat before the rest of the family arrived. By the time they were on their way back to his office CJ and the rest of the group were slowly making their way through the Communications Bullpen.

CJ was laughing and smiling, but he could tell that she was a little irritated by the constant stopping. People were halting the little procession to say hello and to coo over everyone, and she definitely seemed to want to kill someone.

She caught Leo's eye and mouthed, 'HELP!'

He chuckled as he crossed the bullpen to save her from the rest of the staff. He took Ari from her and motioned for Michelle to follow him with Kate. They managed to get into CJ's office with no further interruptions.

"Thank you." said CJ, kissing him on the cheek. "Another few minutes and someone would have had a meltdown."

"You, Kate or Ari?"

"Take your pick" she grinned.

"Or all three of you," Leo said with a mild smile. "How are things going today?"

"Better." She kissed him on the cheek. "Where's Rose?"

"She was going to help Margaret for a while. She's been the little office helper all day."

Leo asked Michelle to give them a few minutes alone so they could talk about the briefing. Leo handed Ari back to CJ and he put the TV on for Kate and Pat.

"When are you briefing?" he asked, taking a seat next to her on the couch.

"In about an hour," she replied, taking a glance at the clock.

"You going to introduce Kate, you want me up there with you, what?"

"I want you up there with the kids, all four of them."

He smiled and kissed her cheek, "Good."

She chuckled and leaned into his arms. "God, Leo, when you think about it, we've done good," she giggled.

"We're the perfect reason for birth control!" he added, as she continued to laugh.

"You hit the mark too many times, old man... Mallory called earlier."

"Oh?"

"She's going to give an interview with Danny tomorrow about all of this, and she's coming over for dinner tonight with Sam."

"Oh, ok, that sounds good," said Leo distractedly as Pat climbed up into his lap. "Wait, Sam's coming over too?"

"Yep. Apparently their on again, off again thing is on again."

"Ah, whatever."

She chuckled. "Yeah, I know. Can you watch them a couple of minutes so I can make a trip to the ladies' room and fix my makeup?"

"Sure," replied Leo as little wary of being in a confined space with three kids for any length of time. "But, uh, don't be too long."

CJ just laughed. "Call Toby if you need backup."

As it turned out no backup was needed. Leo had Margaret send Rose over and he managed to brush everyone's hair and wipe their faces by the time CJ got back.

"Wow, I'm impressed," she said stopped in the doorway to take a deep breath and get a good look at her husband and four kids.

He laughed. "So am I." He ruffled Pat's hair and finished with Kate's hairbow. "You ready? Carol's pooling everybody into the pressroom now."

"Yeah, I'm ready."

He gave her hand a squeeze before grabbing the handles to Kate's wheelchair. CJ had Ari in her arms and planned to pass her off to Carol when they entered the room. But it was obvious when they entered the press room that the real reason for the briefing had been leaked. CJ was not shocked by that fact, nor was she particularly upset. Instead of handing Ari to Carol she stepped up to the podium, baby in her arms.

Questions were already being thrown at them at a blinding speed.

"Everyone, take a seat." bellowed Leo from the doorway.

CJ shot her husband a look, then said, "Sit down or we'll go back the way we came, people."

There was an immediate ripple effect. People sat and shut up.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and Danny," CJ said with a teasing smile, "this is my last press briefing, so let me start off by saying that no, Senator Sadler is NOT supporting the Republican faction that is going to break from the Republican party. She is, however, changing parties from Democrat to Libertarian. Any questions will be handled by the press office later today. In other news, the President's trip to Europe has been cancelled, due to security concerns in Prague and Hesse-Kassel. And Mrs. Bartlet's trip to the Orient is being cut back by a week. All questions regarding that should be directed to the First Lady's offices."

She finally glanced from her notes, to a sleeping Ari in her arms, to the press corps. They were all staring at her silently. Very few were taking notes and nobody was yelling any questions, not even Danny.

"OK, we'll get to the real purpose of the briefing in a minute but for now could you all please take some notes on what I just shared with you, it was all important." she teased.

Leo chuckled, and she shot him a Look.

"Okay, like I said at the beginning of the thing, this is my last briefing as the White House Press Secretary. I tendered my resignation to the President about an hour ago, and it is effective as of the end of today."

Danny raised his hand.

"Yes, Danny?"

"Why?"

She tried to control the rolling of her eyes as she motioned for Leo to come forward with the other three kids.

"Because of these 4 kids." she said plainly as she paused to let the number of kids sink into the collective mind of the White House Press Corps."

Danny was the only one brave enough to raise his hand and ask the obvious question.

"Yes, Danny?"

"Four kids, CJ?"

"Yes, four kids." She chuckled. "Most of you already know Rose and Pat. This is Arianna, the reason I've been out of work a few months. And this is Kate, our oldest, who has been living with my parents until a few days ago."

"Uh, do you care to elaborate on why Kate has been living with your parents?" yelled Steve.

CJ took a deep breath, "Not particularly."

A sea of hands went up and the same question came out of the mouths of at least half a dozen mouths, "Why not?"

Leo stepped up to the podium, "I believe CJ has given you the only answer you are getting today, let's please move on"

"I tendered my resignation because I want to be with my children. I want to see them grow up, learn new things, meet people that they're going to have as friends the rest of their lives. I can't let them be raised entirely by their nanny, no matter how wonderful she is. And they're my children, and as such, are my responsibility. And I've shirked my responsibilities to them long enough."

CJ glanced up to see Jed smiling throught the partition at the back of the room.

"I've put many hours of thought into this decision and I am confident that I am doing the right thing for my family."

Chris's hand shot up into the air. "CJ, is this purely a personal move? Will you think about returning to the public sector at a later time? Or is this it?"

CJ laughed and shook her head. "This is it, Chris -- until I find another 'real thing', that is."

Thankfully no more hands shot up and no more questions flew through the air.

"I'm not going to get mushy or anything," teased CJ, "But I want you all to know that is has been a pleasure working with you over the 3 and a half years."

"Yeah, same to you," came the general chorus.

Chris hissed something to Danny, then stood up and said, "CJ, on behalf of the press corps, I'd like to invite you to a fare-thee-well party on Friday. If you can make it, that is -- we can give Leo details later."

"Uh, sounds good, thank you," said CJ, genuinely surprised. "I guess this is goodbye then." she said quietly as she gave a little wave and turned to leave before she got all emotional up at the podium. Toby was waiting in her office for her with a handful of tissues and bag of Hershey's kisses.

"Thought you might need these." he said as he held up his offerings.

She smiled a little and swiped at her eyes. "God, I've gotten so emotional since I went and had kids," she giggled, taking the bag of chocolate and handing him Ari.

"Yeah, you used to be pretty..."

"Say it and die, Ziegler."

"Like that," he continued with a grin. "You did good, kid."

"Thanks" she said as she ripped open the bag of chocolate.

Toby settled down on the couch with Ari while CJ returned a few phone calls, ate some kisses and cried a little.

Finally, she hung up the phone and sighed. "Well, that's it, then. That's all she wrote, eh?"

"I guess -- hey, y'know, she's askin' for something I don't have, here," Toby said as Ari chewed on the breast pocket of his shirt.

She laughed. "Give her here."

He handed her over as Leo came into the room, alone.

"Uh, Leo, what did you do with the other three?" asked CJ as Toby slipped out the door.

"Pat's with Josh, and the girls are with Margaret."

"Oh dear God, can she handle Kate and Rose?" CJ asked worriedly.

"You sound like a mother."

"I AM a mother, Leo."

"They're fine. They're watching PBS in Margaret's office."

CJ turned Arianna around so she could switch sides.

"Besides, Margaret knows where to find me."

"And Josh is ok watching Pat?"

"CJ, Josh loves Pat, they're fine. I'm sure Donna's keeping an eye on both of them."

"I can't rely on everyone else anymore, you know," CJ said quietly. "Not since I left work specifically to mother my munchkins. I can't ask for help without looking hypocritical."

"CJ, no one is calling you a hypocrite if you need time to rest."

"I guess..." she said, not entirely convinced.

"Claudia, listen to me, will you?" Leo asked gently. "You and the kids are important to each other, and that's all that matters."

She settled back on the couch to finish nursing Ari. When she was done she gathered the rest of the kids and headed for home.

Leo managed to make it home at a reasonable time and they had dinner together as a family, just the 6 of them.

CJ tucked all of the kids in bed at a decent hour, and made sure that they were staying put before going into the bedroom. Leo was lounging on the bed, smiling. "It's 8:30," he said. "Whatcha wanna do?"

"Oh hush," she giggled as he pulled her down onto the bed for a kiss.

She broke the kiss and was starting to unbutton his shirt when they heard the familiar sounds of little feet on the hardwood floor of the hallway.

CJ rolled off Leo as Pat stood outside the locked door and started to cry.

"Leo, your children have horrible timing." she teased as she got up.

"My children? YOUR children," he muttered as she went to open the door.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, scooping Pat up into her arms. "What's wrong?"

"Can't sleep." he mumbled as he wrapped his little arms around her neck.

CJ carried him to the bed and put him down next to Leo.

"Well," she said softly to her son, "it's pretty boring in here. We were just gonna turn on the TV and watch CNN, and then go to sleep."

Pat made a little noise of disgust and cuddled up between his parents.

Leo looked at CJ and just shrugged his shoulders. He got up and changed into pajamas while CJ turned on CNN. Not much had happened in the world in the few hours since Leo had left the office.

But the pace was about to pick up. The election was a little over 6 months away and CJ was preparing herself to basically be a single mother for a while.

Thank goodness she had Michelle to fall back on, or she would probably go insane. And yes, she did feel bad, abandoning the campaign before it had really even begun. But her family was more important.

She waited till Pat was asleep before taking him back to bed, and checking on the others. She went back into the bedroom and smiled at a sleepy Leo.

"Let's try again later," she said softly, kissing him on the cheek and going to the bathroom to get changed for bed.

By the time she got back Leo was snoring softly. She chuckled and climbed into the bed next to him. She brushed back his hair, kissed his forehead and pulled the quilt up over the two of them.

When she woke up the next morning, he had already left and his side of the bed was already cold. With a sigh, she rolled over onto his pillow, missing him already.

There were footsteps in the hallway, and Michelle poked her head in. "CJ?" she said softly.

"Yeah, I'm awake..."

"I'm taking Pat and Ari with me to the grocery."

"Ari's been awfully quiet this morning..."

"I gave her a bottle earlier, and she's fine," Michelle assured her.

Part 6

CJ got up and checked on Kate, she was still asleep. She grabbed the breast pump and the newspaper before settling down on the couch. Twenty minutes later she had a bottle ready to put in the freezer and she could hear Kate babbling in her room.