One Night

Josh looked at his sleeping wife one last time before throwing his backpack over his shoulder and leaving the room. He took a deep breath and grabbed his coat from the closet. Quickly going into the kitchen to grab his car keys from the counter a photo on the wall caught his eye, as it had numerous times over the past 24 hours. It was a picture of the Senior Staff, taken in January 2007, on the last day of the Bartlet administration. He paused for a second to take a good look. It had been the last time they were all together, nearly ten years earlier. Sure, some of them had gathered together over the years for various things, his wedding to Amy, Donna's wedding, the birth of her kids, Toby and CJ's wedding and the opening of the Josiah Bartlet Presidential Library. But there hadn't been a time that all of them had been together. One or more of then had always had other commitments. And now, the dream of all of them being together again was shattered forever.

Josh tossed his suitcase in the trunk and his backpack on the front seat next to him. He had decided to drive from DC to Boston instead of flying. It would give him time to think, time to grieve and time to prepare. Amy had offered to go with him but he had declined. It was something he had to do alone.

Things between them were strained lately and as much time as she had spent with them over the years she was still an outsider among Josh's colleagues from his White House years. The rest of the group never really approved of her instead they all assumed that Josh and Donna would someday end up together. But that didn't happen and Donna moved on to take a job with Capitolscoop.com after Jed Bartlet had finished his first term.

Josh proposed to Amy in the summer of 2002 and they were married in a quiet ceremony at the beginning of January 2003. Donna had attended with Casey Reed, her boss at CapitalScoop.com. She put on her best face that day as she watched her best friend make, what she thought, was the biggest mistake of his life.

Donna and Casey fell in love and got married in 2005. They had two kids, Christopher was 10 and Maggie was almost 6. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last and she and Casey had shared custody of the kids for the past 5 years. They still managed to work together and remain friends.

Over the years Donna and Josh kept in contact through phone calls and emails. Even though they were both in the DC area, she at CapitolScoop and he doing consulting for various members of Congress, they actually spent very little time together. Donna had realized over the years that too much face-to-face contact was hard, especially in the years since her divorce. They still shared everything with each other, a fact of Josh's life that Amy had a hard time dealing with over the years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About an hour out of DC Josh's phone rang. There was only one person who would call him at 5:45 AM. He smiled as he looked at the readout on his cell phone.

"Hey Donna."

"Hey yourself. Where are you?"

"About an hour north of the city."

"How's the drive going?"

"Fine. Not exactly much traffic at this ungodly hour."

"I guess not. I wish you had taken me up on my offer to drive up with you." said Donna as she unwrapped the towel from around her head and grabbed the brush off the sink.

"I appreciate it but I wanted some time alone. I should be in Boston in time to pick you up at the airport tonight."

"Are you sure? I can rent a car."

"No, I'll pick you up." sighed Josh as he ran his fingers through his already wild hair.

"Josh, do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.

"What's there to say? For the first time in ten years we're all going to be together and it's for a damn funeral."

"Josh..."

"I'm fine." he whispered as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Joshua Lyman you are far from fine. Why don't you stop at the next rest stop, have a cup of coffee, call me back if you want to. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Some. I couldn't get comfortable. I just...Donna I miss him so much already. There are so many things I never said that I should have. Things I wanted him to know...how much he meant to me, stuff like that."

"Josh, he knew. Trust me, Leo knew how much you loved him. I have to go get dressed and get the kids up for school. I'll be at work for a while this morning, call me if you want to talk."

"I will. Thanks Donna, you're the best."

"So are you." she whispered as she hung up the phone.

Donna finished drying her hair as she thought back over the last 24 hours. The previous morning her phone had rung before 7. It was Margaret calling with terrible news. Leo had died in his sleep a few hours earlier. He had had a massive stroke that killed him instantly. He didn't suffer and for that everyone was grateful. Donna had offered to call Josh and tell him herself but Margaret insisted on doing it. So Donna got the kids ready for school, waiting for the phone to ring. And half an hour later it did. They talked for a while. Their schedules were packed for the day and they didn't end up seeing each other as they had hoped. Donna had offered to drive up with him, but he turned her down. And actually she was grateful. The thought of that many hours in the car with a heartbroken Josh wasn't something Donna was up to. She made plane reservations and booked a room at the Hilton, where everyone was meeting.

The ride to Boston was uneventful for Josh. He stopped a few times for coffee and for something to eat. He spent most of the ride in silence, only his thoughts keeping him company. He thought about Leo, about his life in general and about Donna. As his problems with Amy grew his thoughts frequently turned to Donna. He talked to her about the problems in his marriage in vague terms. Basically because the problems he and Amy were having weren't cut and dry, weren't clearly defined, they were just vague feelings that things just weren't working out.

He was exhausted when he pulled into the short-term parking lot of Logan International Airport that night. He had made good time driving up and managed to make it there in plenty of time to meet Donna's flight. He used the restroom and splashed some water on his face in an effort to look a little more presentable. Upon his arrival at the gate he saw the plane was delayed by 20 minutes so he grabbed some coffee and a bagel and sat down to wait. She was one of the last to deplane. He waved until they made eye contact. She greeted him with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, their normal greeting. He took her carry on and they made their way to the baggage carousel to pick up her suitcase.

The ride to the hotel was uneventful as was check in. Their rooms were next to each other but not adjoining, just as Donna had requested when she made her reservation. They each went to their respective rooms to change and settle in. A little while later Josh called to say he was ordering room service and asked Donna to come over for something to eat. Donna changed, called Casey to check in on the kids and headed next door.

Halfway through their food Josh looked around the room and laughed.

"What?" asked Donna with a grin.

"This," he said as he gestured around the room, "us in our pajamas, eating room service at midnight, brings back memories doesn't it."

"Sure does." she replied a little uneasily.

It was clear to Donna that their current situation, sitting side by side on the bed eating and watching CNN, was more comfortable for Josh than it was for her. Actually it wasn't that it was uncomfortable so much as it was too comfortable. She knew in her mind that thought made a lot more sense than if she had tried to explain it aloud to Josh. The bottom line was that, although she was free and single, Josh, however unhappily, was married.

They finished up their food in relative silence. The day had been long and Josh was fading fast. Donna cleaned up the dishes and stuff while Josh flopped down on the bed wearily. Ten minutes later she nudged him enough to get him under the covers and tuck him in, just like old times. She set his alarm and put a glass of water on the nightstand for him. He rolled over in his sleep towards the middle of the bed. Donna took a deep breath and sat down on the very edge of the bed for a minute. The room was dark except for the small amount of light coming from the bathroom. Years earlier she learned that Josh was notorious for walking into walls in strange hotel rooms so she had always left the bathroom light on and the door open a crack.

In the dim light she watched him sleep for a while. She sighed at how worn out he looked. It wasn't just the events of the past day or so. It was life in general. She knew he and Amy weren't happy, that things weren't going that well. Josh hadn't shared too much about that part of his life lately, but she knew, she could hear it in his voice and when she did see him she could see it in his eyes. He had looked so old lately she thought to herself with a chuckle as she realized he was getting older, they all were. Josh was rapidly approaching 55 and she had just turned 43.

Josh moaned a little in his sleep but didn't wake up. Donna swallowed hard and prayed he wasn't about to have a nightmare. He admitted to still having them once in a while a few weeks ago when they had met up for lunch. With a tentative hand she reached over to brush back his hair. His hairline had almost magically stopped receding a few years earlier. His hair was graying now, but just as wild as it had always been. Her gentle touch calmed him down immediately. Tears came to her eyes as she realized just how "right" the moment felt, how easy it would be to slip under the covers next to him. Some dreams never die, she thought to herself as she pulled the covers up and kissed him softly on the forehead. Leaving the room without looking back she walked back to her room with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Donna spent a restless night, sleeping little, thinking endlessly about Josh. For years, while she was married, she had been able to push back her feelings for Josh with relative ease. But in the 5 years since her divorce she found it harder and harder to hide her feelings. She and Josh were best friends and had been for nearly 20 years but spending time with him was getting harder and harder. She was always conscious, overly conscious in fact, of how physical their relationship was. They always kissed when they greeted one another. When they walked, more often than not, his hand was at the small of her back. She still smacked him on the back of the head when the occasion called for it and Josh was known to tuck errant strands of her long blond hair behind her ear. All those things, while they felt so right, Donna knew they were wrong. Savoring those moments like she did wasn't healthy and she knew it. But that knowledge didn't change the way she felt.

The blaring of a strange alarm at 7 the next morning woke Josh with a start and he nearly tumbled out of bed. He sat up slowly as he was stiff from the hours in the car the previous day. He drained the glass of water on the nightstand, smiling to himself as he realized how it got there in the first place. Slowly limping to the shower he paused in front of the mirror for a minute, frowning at the reflection of the weary, old looking man staring back at him. Half an hour later he was standing in front of the same mirror, shaving, when the phone rang.

"I'm up." he said with a laugh.

"Good. You hungry?"

"Yeah, I'll pick you up in about 20 minutes, ok?"

"Make it half an hour, I'm trying to make myself look like I had more than 3 hours sleep." laughed Donna as she open the drawer to grab her pantyhose.

"Didn't sleep?" he asked, his voice soft.

"Not too well. I'm fine, I'll see you in a while."

"Kay, bye."

They both hung up and finished getting ready. Twenty-eight minutes later Donna opened the door to find Josh standing there in his best black suit, hair barely under control, tie hanging loosely around his neck.

"Let me guess, in addition to still not being able to tie a bowtie you've suddenly forgotten how to tie a regular one?" she asked with a smirk.

"Haha. Not really, my fingers are just a little stiff this morning." he admitted as he held up his right hand. Over the years Josh had had trouble with his right side, a lingering effect from that horrible night in Rosslyn. He walked with a slight limp that got more pronounced when he was tired and once in a while his fingers just wouldn't cooperate.

"Sit," said Donna as she pointed to the unmade bed, "I'll do it for you."

She deftly tied his striped tie into a perfect knot; all the while trying not to recall so many occasions she had tied his bowtie for him. Times that were more intimate than either of them would ever admit to. Admiring her work she smoothed the tie down and reached out to brush back a stray lock of Josh's hair. She pressed her hand against his cheek for just a second before stepping over to the mirror to check her reflection once more before they headed down to the restaurant for some breakfast.

By 9:15 they were pulling into the driveway of the house that Margaret and Leo had shared ever since they had left the White House in 2007. They never married but lived a full and happy life together. It was a relationship that took everyone by surprise at first but the more people thought about it, the more it just made perfect sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little after 5:00 they returned to the hotel, worn out and quiet. The service had been beautiful. Jed had given a eulogy that left everyone in tears. CJ and Toby had to return home that night and Sam was staying at the house with Mallory.

"You wanna get a drink?" asked Josh as they walked through the lobby.

"Sure." agreed Donna as she felt Josh's hand press against the small of her back and steer her towards the bar.

They ordered, a whiskey sour for her and a beer for him. They drank in near silence. Josh had considered another beer; actually he had considered getting completely drunk but knew that Donna wouldn't let him do that. So they ended up taking the elevator back up to their rooms. Donna opened the door to her room and Josh just stood there, waiting to be invited in. She motioned for him to enter. He wandered around as she kicked off her shoes and grabbed something to change into.

"I'll be right back." she said as she went into the bathroom.

Josh shrugged out of his jacket and sat down on the edge of the bed. He pulled at his tie a little and took a deep shaky breath. Everything he had been holding in since arriving the previous night spilled forth and Donna found him sobbing when she got out of the bathroom. Tossing her clothes on the bed she crossed the room. She sat down next to him and rubbed his back, whispering words of calming reassurance to him. Ones that didn't seem to be working very well. Worried that he was going to make himself sick she finally grabbed his chin and tipped his head up to look him in the eye.

"Josh, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath." she said firmly.

He did and managed to pull himself together just a bit.

"Wait here," she said as she stood up and patted him on the shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Donna got him a bottle of water out of the minibar, 2 Advil out of her purse and a cool, damp cloth from the bathroom.

"Here, take these." she said, handing him the pills and the water.

He swallowed the pills and finished most of the water.

"Thanks." muttered Josh as he flopped back onto the bed.

"You're welcome." said Donna with a smile as she quickly wiped his face with the cloth before folding it and resting it on his forehead.

"That's nice," he sighed as he closed his eyes.

While his eyes were closed Donna took the opportunity to get a good look at him. She didn't like what she saw and wondered just when he'd gotten so old looking. His breathing evened out and she could tell he was about to drift off.

"Josh," she said quietly as she nudged his shoulder, "why don't you go back to your room and sleep for a while."

"I'm fine here." he muttered as he rolled over and crawled up the length of the bed to rest his head on a pillow.

Donna chuckled at the familiarity of the scene. It was one that had been played out literally dozens of times in the almost 20 years she had known Josh. There had been times that Leo teased them about just getting one room on trips because more often than not they ended up crashing in the same room. But things had been different then, they were boss and employee. No matter how many times they danced over the line that separated the professional from the personal they had always landed on the side of professionalism. Now things were different, she didn't work for him, she was not married or otherwise involved. But he was, as she tried so hard to keep reminding herself.

"No Josh, you need to go into your room." she said firmly.

Josh cracked one eye and gave her a strange look. "Why?"

"Because." said Donna, not really wanting to have this conversation with a half asleep man.

"You gonna jump me in my sleep Donnatella?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

Donna jumped up from where she had been sitting next to him, a move that took Josh by surprise.

"I was kidding." he smirked as he threw his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stood up.

Donna was standing by the window, looking out over the Boston skyline, her back towards Josh. He crossed the room in a cloud of confusion, trying to figure out why his teasing had been met with such a strange reaction.

"Donna," he said softly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quietly, not quite sure her voice was going to cooperate.

Josh put his hands on her shoulders. She flinched and reluctantly let him turn her around to face him. The look on her face made him sigh and give a sad smile.

"Please talk to me." he pleaded softly.

"I can't." she whispered as he leaned forward slightly resting his forehead against hers.

Josh's hands left her shoulders and wound through her hair. He pulled back slightly to look Donna in the eye. Donna felt herself tense up as every bone in her body was screaming for her to move, to get away. But she didn't listen and instead reached up just enough to kiss Josh softly on the lips. The kiss was just on the other side of chaste. Not much more intimate than any of the other kisses they had shared during the years they worked together. But there was an undercurrent of something more that was almost audible in the quiet room.

Donna pulled back first and tried to extract herself from Josh's embrace. When she was unsuccessful she muttered, "I'm sorry." as she dropped her head to rest against his chest.

With a deep breath Josh kissed the top of her head and whispered, "I'm not." as he hooked a finger under her chin so he could tip her head up to see her face. "I'm not." he repeated softly.

A second later it was clearly Josh who started the next kiss. Sending it over the line of innocence as his tongue ran over Donna's lower lip. With the earlier thoughts a million miles away she opened her mouth to allow him access. Two minutes later Donna's shirt was unbuttoned halfway down, Josh's was pulled out of his pants and they were seconds away from falling onto the bed. Something inside Donna broke through the haze of desire and she pushed him away, almost forcefully. She put her hand to her mouth as tears sprang to her eyes.

"Oh my God," she muttered. "Josh please go." she said softly.

"No, I'm not going anywhere." he replied as he reached for her hand and steered her to the bed. She tried to resist. "Just sit, please." he said, his voice reaching the pleading stage.

She sat down and laced her fingers with his as their hands rested in her lap.

"We have to talk."

"No, we don't. There is nothing to talk about. You are married, end of story."

"Is that the only thing that's stopping you right now?" asked Josh, a little surprised.

Donna gave him a look of complete and utter shock. "Yes, you don't know that?" she asked as suddenly a weight was lifted from her shoulders as the truth was out there in the cold, hard light of day.

And for a moment the normally verbose Joshua Lyman was speechless. He tried to think of a nice way to say what he wanted to say without sounding crass. He just took a deep breath and blurted it out. "What if I said I don't care? That my marriage to Amy is basically over. That what I want more than anything right now is to throw you down on the bed and make love to you."

Donna took a deep breath of her own. "I'd say you are grieving, you are exhausted and obviously not thinking straight."

"How can I convince you that, yes, while I am grieving and I am exhausted, I have never been thinking more clearly in my entire life?"

"Then I'd say, go to your room and sleep for a while. Call me when you wake up."

Josh silently agreed and was halfway out the door before he looked at her again. He turned and looked back over his shoulder, giving her a small smile. "A nap is not going to change my mind." he said softly as he stepped into the hallway and closed the door quietly.

Donna curled up against the headboard, knees hugged tightly to her chest. She was determined not to cry. That determination didn't last very long and she broke down, silently sobbing.

"This is what you've wanted for nearly 20 years Donnatella. Why back out now." she whispered to the empty room. She glanced at the clock, it was almost 7. Just as she was contemplating what to do next they phone rang, it was the kids calling to tell her about their day. Fifteen minutes later she went into the bathroom, peeled off her shirt and jeans and sank into a tubful of bubbles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long day and I'm ready

I'm waiting for your call

'Cos I've made up my mind

My heart aches with a hunger

No want that you were mine

No I cannot deny

So for one night is it all right

That I give you

My heart - my love - my heart

Just for one night

My body - my soul

Just for one night

My love - my love

For one night - one night - one night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Josh wandered around his own room in a daze before going into his bathroom for a quick shower to try and relax.

"You've waited for this moment for 20 years Josh, don't blow it." he said over the sound of the water.

He thought about Amy and the fact that he was about to cheat on her, something he had never done in the 12 years they had been married. In his heart he knew the marriage was over and he suspected that she felt the same way. But both of them were so busy they didn't seem to have time to talk anymore. Or more likely, they didn't want to make the time to talk. So they just went on pretending that things were fine. Both made excuses to work late, to avoid each other, to avoid the problems. As clichéd as it sounded, they had just drifted apart. There was nothing holding them together. They had never had children, a decision that was mostly Amy's. As much as Amy would probably think otherwise, Josh knew that deep down, their problems had nothing to do with Donna.

Josh got out of the shower, dried off and pulled on a pair of boxers. He turned out the light and pulled back the comforter. Clicking the TV on he shoved the pillows behind his head and stretched out. He didn't think there was any way he was going to fall asleep but 20 minutes later the long couple of days caught up with him and he drifted off.

Meanwhile Donna finished her bath, threw on her robe and walked back into her room. She opened the dresser and stood there for a minute looking at the clothes in there. She chuckled to herself as she realized she didn't exactly have anything remotely appropriate for the culmination of a two decade-long lusting. Settling on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top she dressed quickly and pulled her hair up in a bun. She laughed to herself as she realized she had no clue what to do at the very moment. Lacking a book to read, except for the bible in the nightstand, she opened up her tote bag and took out some work she had started on the plane.

A little after 9:00 Josh woke up, disoriented and completely in the dark. He cursed the fact that he'd forgotten to leave the bathroom light on. Stumbling across the room he flicked on the light, hand flying up to his eyes to shield them from the offending brightness. He used the bathroom, brushed his teeth and pulled on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. In the hour and half he'd been asleep his feelings hadn't changed. If anything he was more sure of what he was doing.

Walking back into the room he picked up the phone and then quickly hung it up again. "What the hell am I going to say?" he muttered to himself. Taking a deep breath he picked up the receiver again and dialed the number for Donna's room. She answered on the first ring.

"Hello."

"Hey, it's me."

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Yeah. But nothing's changed." he said softly.

"Really?" she asked, not quite believing him as she had spent the previous hour trying to convince herself that after a shower and some rest Josh would have changed his mind.

"Really. Can I come over?"

"Yeah." she said in a soft, barely audible whisper.

They hung up together, both of them standing up from where they had been sitting on their beds. They both smoothed down their hair and took deep breaths. Half a minute later Donna opened the door to her room before Josh could even knock. He flew in the room, peeling off his sweatshirt, only to stop and calm himself down a bit as he waited for her to shut the door. Donna closed the door. She took a deep breath and rested her forehead against the cool steel of the door as she slid the chain in the track and turned the deadbolt. Josh reached out to pull the bun in her hair loose. He wound his fingers in the silky blond strands for a minute before taking her by the shoulders and turning her around. She looked at him, a silent question in her eyes.

"I'm sure." he muttered as he kissed her hard.

They stumbled further into the room until the back of Josh's knees hit the bed. He sat down without a great deal of grace. Donna managed to stop her momentum before she fell and knocked him over. She stopped to stand in between his knees. With a flick of her finger she turned off the harsh lights over the dresser, leaving only a desk lamp as the sole source of light.

She ran her fingers through Josh's hair and kissed his forehead. Josh grabbed her by the waist and leaned back, sending both of them tumbling onto the bed. They both let out a nervous giggle as Donna rolled over a bit so she wasn't completely on top of him. Their legs tangled up as one kiss led to another. Donna reached down to pull Josh's t-shirt out of his pants. Eager to touch him she snaked her hand up under the shirt. She ran her fingers over his left side, pausing slightly at the scar from the bullet wound. He flinched a little.

"Sorry." she whispered.

"S'okay. Even after all these years it's still a little sensitive." he explained as he pulled her closer for another deep kiss.

Josh rolled them over until he was draped over Donna's body. He pushed one strap of her tank top off her shoulder, along with her bra strap. He moved both out of the way to plant a kiss on the top of her breast.

For the first few minutes Donna was having a hard time relaxing but when Josh sat up and pulled her up enough to take off her shirt all nervousness disappeared. Josh undid the front clasp on her bra and gently pushed the white cotton away with a sigh. Donna giggled just a little as she squirmed under Josh's stare.

"Just think how much better they looked a dozen years ago, before I had two kids." she said with a laugh.

"Donna, they're beautiful." he said as he captured one nipple in his mouth. She sighed loudly as her hands wound through his hair and her back arched upward.

Not one to give unequal attention, Josh moved over a bit and focused his attention on her other breast. As much as Donna was enjoying that she longed to see more of him. She pulled his shirt up and Josh reluctantly released her breast long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it over her shoulder.

"Pants, Josh." groaned Donna as she pushed him up a little.

He straddled her and sat back on her thighs as she reached to undo the button of his jeans. He let out a hiss as she slowly unzipped them. Struggling to his feet he quickly shed the jeans, taking his boxers with them. He sat on the edge of the bed for a minute to peel of his socks. As he crawled back on the bed it was Donna's turn to stare.

"It's not polite to stare." said Josh with a smirk.

"Hey, you stared at me, now it's my turn." said Donna, returning the smirk.

Donna pushed him back down on the bed by the shoulders wishing she had left more than one light on in the room. She ran a finger down the length of the scar on his chest. It was faded, more easily felt than seen. When she reached the bottom of the scar she looked at Josh as she threw a leg over his. She wrapped her long slender fingers around him as his eyes slammed shut and he drew in a sharp breath.

Josh basked in the feel of her caressing him, lavishing attention on him that had been missing from his life lately. Sex with Amy had been reduced to about a once a month occurrence with little or no foreplay or tenderness. He pushed any thoughts of Amy away without a second thought as he reached over to run a finger down Donna's side. He traced the curve of her breast and the line of her hip. His hand rested against her flat stomach as he leaned in for another kiss.

A minute later he wordlessly moved Donna's hand away from him. Twenty years of fantasies about Donna were on the verge of ending way too soon. And at almost 55 it was a pretty safe bet there would only be one chance that night. Donna smiled and gave a look of understanding as she kissed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I supposed this isn't the best time to ask..." started Josh as he leaned over to kiss the hollow between her breasts, "I'm not exactly prepared for this."

"I had my tubes tied after Maggie was born so that part's not a problem. As for anything else, I'm good. You?"

"Yeah." he muttered as he pulled the tie on her pants loose with his teeth.

"Hey, mighty impressive." she said with a grin.

"Honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

"You know, I'm really glad to see you haven't lost that ego of yours over the years."

"Donna?"

"Mmm?"

"Stop talking."

Josh knelt next to her and pulled her pants off, tossing them on the floor with the rest of their clothes. They hopped off the bed to quickly pull back the covers before crawling in.

A few heated kisses later Josh was rolling them over so Donna was on top. In recent years he had found sex to be easier if he was on the bottom. Something that didn't please Amy. But Donna understood why he did it and didn't question anything.

Donna got up on her knees slightly as she looked Josh in the eye. He reached his hand down between her legs. It was all she could do to keep herself from falling on top of him as his fingers stroked her. She was quick to come, kissing him deeply as she did.

"Now," she said when she regained the power of speech.

Josh pulled his hand up and placed both hands on her shoulders as she slowly lowered herself down on him. It had been a while for Donna. Dating with two kids wasn't the easiest thing in the world she'd come to find out. She wordlessly conveyed that to Josh. The ability to read each other's minds hadn't diminished over the years. And for that both of them were grateful.

They settled into a rhythm that was as fluid as their bantering had been for all those years. Donna leaned down for another kiss as she tightened her muscles around Josh. It was all he could do to hang on. He groaned and reached his hand down between them to help her along.

A minute later they came, Josh first, followed quickly by Donna. She collapsed on top of him, kissing him softly. They were silent for a few minutes. Neither one really sure of what to say. Donna rolled off of him and reached down to pull the covers up over both of them. Josh settled his head down on Donna's shoulder, his finger tracing lazy circles around her belly button.

In the silence of the room Donna contemplated saying something. But everything that came to mind sounded trite, wrong or just plain stupid. What exactly is there to say when you've just had great sex with your best friend...your "It doesn't make a difference if he's unhappy, he's still very much married, best friend".

Josh some pretty similar thoughts running through his head too. In addition to the thought that, at nearly 55 he could kiss goodbye any chance of a repeat performance that night. He sighed aloud, to his surprise.

"You ok?".

"Yeah. You?"

Donna nodded against the top of his head as she gave him a quick hug. They drifted off and on for a little while, occasionally sharing a kiss or caress. Around midnight Josh woke up and crept out of the bed to use the bathroom. Donna rolled over to reach out to him, grabbing only a handful of sheets caused her to wake up instantly. For a second she was terrified he had gone back to his room without so much as a goodbye. But she heard the water run in the bathroom and settled back down under the covers.

Josh came out to find Donna awake.

"Hey, you're awake." he said with a grin as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He had pulled on his boxers and Donna wondered if he was going to leave. He noticed her gaze as it fell to the plaid boxers.

"I'm not leaving. Well, I am for a little while."

Donna looked at him with questioning eyes.

"I'm starving, we never ate dinner." he said with a laugh. "I'm going to run to the diner down the street. What do you want?"

"I don't know, surprise me."

"Don't go anywhere." he said as he pulled on his jeans and shoved his feet into his sneakers.

"Where am I going to go dressed like this?" she asked as the sheet moved down her body a little, giving Josh a glimpse of beautiful alabaster skin.

"No where I hope." he teased as he undid the deadbolt and the chain on the door.

"Here," she said as she tossed him the key to the room. "So I don't have to get up."

The room was chilly so Donna reached down to find Josh's t-shirt. She pulled it on, taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Josh. Starbucks coffee, Tide detergent and Irish Spring soap. Some things never change, she thought to herself with a smile.

She found the quiet of the room to be too much to bear so she reached for the remote and flicked on the TV. She half watched CNN as she thought about what would happen the next morning in the cold, hard light of day. She wasn't sure what to expect. Would it be incredibly awkward, surprisingly easy or would she be alone? In some ways that would make things easier. As much as she hated to admit it, she was leaning towards the feeling that she would be alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When morning awakes me

Well I know I'll be alone

And I feel I'll be fine

So don't you worry about me

I'm not empty on my own

For inside I'm alive

That for one night - it was so right

That I gave you

My heart - my love - my heart

Just for one night

My body - my soul

Just for one night

My love - I loved

For one night - one night - one night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Half an hour later she heard the key in the door. She flicked on the lights on the nightstand and sat up. Josh came in with enough food for at least 4 people.

"I didn't know what to get you." he said with a grin.

Donna smoothed down the blankets and helped unpack the food. They ate, talked and watched CNN almost as if nothing had changed between the two of them. In their minds, what had happened seemed like something that was inevitable.

About 1:30 Josh cleared off the bed while Donna went to use the bathroom. When she came back out he was sitting on the chair, his feet propped up on the air conditioner, staring out the window.

"Regrets?" she asked softly as she crossed the room to stand behind him. She tentatively put her hands on his shoulders.

"None." he replied, tipping his head back to look at her.

Donna leaned over to kiss his forehead. "So, I'm not sure what the etiquette for this type of thing is..." she stared with a small laugh, "You want to stay tonight?"

"More than anything." he whispered. "I'll be right back." he said as he stood up and headed for the door.

Donna brushed her teeth, propped the door open a little so Josh could get back in and then she climbed back into bed.

Josh brushed his teeth and took some Advil. He took a quick glance at his cell phone. He had missed a few calls. The call log told him what he had suspected; two of the three calls were from Amy. He turned off the phone without listening to them.

He let himself in the room and locked the door behind him. Kicking off his slippers as he crossed the room he smiled at Donna. She pulled back the covers and moved over to let him in. He pulled off his jeans and shirt before climbing into the bed with a groan.

"It was so bad that you're groaning?" teased Donna.

"Funny girl, no actually my back's bothering me a little. Just stiff, no big deal." he admitted as he turned on his side to face Donna. He tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned forward to lightly kiss the tip of her nose.

"Roll over, I'll rub you back for you." she said as she moved closer to him. "Did you take anything?"

Josh nodded into the pillow. Stretched out on the bed with Donna rubbing his back felt more natural than anything had felt with Amy in years. A small sigh escaped his lips as Donna's hand left his back and she tangled her fingers through the curls at the back of his neck.

They snuggled up, kissed and caressed one another for a while. Much to Josh's disappointment his middle-aged body wasn't cooperating. But that was fine. Donna understood. Sure the sex had been great but the night was about more than that. It was about being close, about them spending the night together as if they were the only two people in the world.

As the clock turned to 3 they were both fast asleep. Josh was on his side facing away from her; Donna's arm around his waist, her cheek pressed against the back of his shoulder. Their long legs were tangled together under sheets.

A little before 6:30 Josh's internal alarm clock woke him up. He carefully rolled out of Donna's embrace, trying his best not to wake her. She stayed asleep as he lightly ran his fingers through her hair. He debated waking her but in the end took, what he thought was the coward's way out. He sat down at the desk and pulled out a piece of hotel stationery and a pen. It only took him a minute to get his thoughts together. He wrote quickly and left the note on the desk. He did stop long enough to kiss her on the cheek and whisper that he loved her. He went to his room, quickly showered, dressed and checked out. He was almost to the interstate when Donna woke up.

Waking up in the bed alone wasn't a shock at all. Although what had happened the night before was all but inevitable Donna was almost glad to not have to face Josh. She got up and used the bathroom. On the way to open the window she saw the note on the desk. She curled up in the chair and faced the Boston skyline as she read Josh's words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Donnatella,

When I woke this morning I debated what to do, stay or leave. I'm sorry if leaving was mean or....whatever. But I just felt I had to do it. Please understand.

I know that over the years the one thing that's kept us from acting on our feelings was that we didn't want to risk losing what we had for one night of great sex. (Which, by the way, it was.) There's no real way to describe the connection we had, the connection we still have. I pray things don't get awkward between us, I don't think I could handle that.

I don't know what the future holds for us but I want you to know that no matter what happens I cherish what we have and don't ever want to lose it. You are my best friend and always will be.

I love you.

Always,

Joshua

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a few tears making their way down her cheeks Donna got out another piece of hotel stationery and wrote her own note.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Joshua,

I just woke up to find you gone and your note on the desk. Don't feel bad for leaving. Deep down I was hoping to wake up alone. Hope that doesn't sound too mean either. I think it was easier this way.

Last night was wonderful. I will never forget anything about it.

You're right, what we have is something I could never describe and would never want to live without.

In many ways last night was inevitable, I'm surprised we made it this long. You're right about us not acting sooner out of the fear of losing what we have. I've certainly felt that way for years.

With everything that's happened in the last few days I hope you take some time for yourself. Be gentle, give yourself some time.

Whatever the future holds know that I love you too, and always will. Awkward or not we should get together soon, lunch or something. I'll call you.

Always,

Donnatella

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She reread it a few times and folded it up. She found a stamp in her bag and sealed it up. An hour later she was on her way to the airport.

As she settled into her seat for the flight home she looked out the window, thinking. Less than forty eight hours earlier she was grieving, on her way to the funeral of a man she loved like a father. Now she was on her way home, having fulfilled a 2 decade long fantasy. A fantasy which she had worked and reworked in her head for years. One that came true just as she had imagined it.

She didn't know what the future held for them and she wasn't even sure what she wanted. She loved him and he loved her, that much she was sure of. Beyond that, the next move was up to him. He was still married and until that changed she vowed to just be his friend. She had no desire to be the other woman, even though deep down she knew that on some level she was the other woman.

Josh took his time driving home, stopping in Connecticut to visit his father's grave. He took a blanket out of the trunk of the car and sat down in front of the marble stone with his cup of Starbucks coffee. He talked quietly, confessing everything. Tears streamed down his face as he picked up a few small stones to leave on the top of the headstone. He kissed his fingertips and ran them over his father's name before heading back to the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 2027

Donna got out of her car and walked slowly across the cemetery, her sneaker clad feet getting damp from the early morning dew. It was the first time she had seen the stone. It had been unveiled a few weeks earlier. She was out of town at the time and hadn't attended the unveiling. She couldn't believe it had been a year already since Josh had died of a heart attack. It seems like just yesterday they had been out to lunch.

The past ten years had been good to them. Things had remained surprisingly the same after that one night in Boston. They had remained best friends until his death. He and Amy had divorced a year or so after that one night but after much discussion and more than a few aborted attempts at a relationship they realized that although they loved each other they were better off as friends.

She put a few stones on the marble headstone and left behind a sticker she had pulled off the bag of Starbucks coffee that morning.

"It's the closest thing to coffee you're getting." she whispered as she ran her fingers over his etched name. "I love you, always."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For one night - it was so right

That I gave you

My heart - my love - my heart

Just for one night

My body - my soul

Just for one night

My love - my love

For one night - we loved - one night - one night

One night ... yeah

THE END

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