One by One, the Bricks
Fall
Note to self...bringing
Donna a gift back when I go away is a good idea, bringing cured meat,
apparently is not. Still, I can't
believe she gave away the moose meat to some intern. Hey, Sam brought back moose stuff too for
Ginger and Bonnie, they seemed to appreciate it. Ok, so at least he shopped for his gifts, I
sort of re-gifted the moose meat. What
can I say? My back was killing me and I
couldn't sleep, I took a sleeping pill and overslept. So I didn't have a chance to go
shopping. And exactly what was I supposed
to bring back from Finland?
I have trouble buying stuff for Donna.
It's hard to find stuff for the love of your life who doesn't know she's
the love of your life and who probably loves you but can't show it for fear of
Republican retaliation in the form of, let's just say, someone like Ann Stark.
I smile every time I
think about our conversation when I got back.
"My man"...I could get used to that. A few of the bricks in
the wall that seems to separate us lately have started to crumble. Seems like our banter is back in full
force. And the part about missing her,
obviously true. Although I didn't have a
whole lot of time to miss her. Between
traveling, meetings, prep work, a few odd hours of sleep and talking to her on
the phone twice a day, I didn't have a lot of free time.
Oh no.
I just checked
E-bay. My gift went for $210. A little low if you ask me. I mean, the box
had hand woven Lapland ribbons. The winners E-bay ID is
DDCOS, which means I really need to find my checkbook and write out a check for
$210 to the Deputy-Deputy Chief of Staff.
But at the moment I think only the Deputy-Deputy Chief of Staff has a
clue where my checkbook is.
And speaking of Donna
here she is.
"Hey, you still
here?" she asks as she sits in my visitors chair and puts her feet on the
desk.
"Apparently so. Where's my checkbook?"
"Bottom left hand
drawer. I just balanced it; try not to
screw anything up. I thought you were
going home early?"
"It is
early." I say with a groan as I
lean over to reach into the drawer and manage twist my back, sending a pain
shooting down my leg. I jump to my feet
to try and walk it off.
"It's 10 at night,
that's not early. You ok?" she asks
as she comes around the desk.
"Just great." I
mutter as I limp around rubbing my back with one hand and holding the checkbook
with the other.
"Come here."
she says.
And as if it were the
most natural thing in the world she tugs on my shirt tail, which is already
hanging halfway out, and pulls it out of my pants so she can rub my back for
me. Now, it's not as exciting as it
sounds, my undershirt is still tucked in.
But it is nice anyway. This is
something that hasn't happened in months.
Spontaneous physical
contact.
I try not to be too
obvious as I lean into her touch. We
take a few steps until we're standing in front of the window, looking out. We say nothing. At the same time we check the reflection in
the window and see that my office door is wide open. I think we both feel a mixture of
disappointment and relief.
Disappointment that this
is going no further and relief because it can't, not right now.
After a few more minutes
Donna tugs on my belt to get me to back up and sit on the desk. We sit side by side still looking out the
window. She kicks off her shoes that are
dangling from her feet. I reach to rub
my back, she notices and moves my hand away so she can do it herself.
I know, not the smoothest
move ever, but it's getting late and remember I missed some classes along the
way.
"So, you missed
me." I say as matter of factly as I can.
I was going for light hearted but think I missed by a mile when I hear
Donna inhale sharply.
"Yeah, and not just
while you were in Finland.
Cause, you know, with you gone I got the whole weekend off." she
starts, trying to go for teasing but missing by the same mile. "I miss you, I miss...us." she says
quietly.
"Yeah, me too. You think things are back to...uh,
normal?"
"Joshua, the last
thing the two of us will ever be is normal." she smirks. "But I think we're back to...us. What ever that is."
I nod as I think back to
the conversation we had after the State of the Union.
The one about how there really is no definition of what we are, we're
just...us, nothing more, nothing less.
"So you still missed
me most at night, right?" I tease as I lean over and nudge her with my
shoulder.
"Oh yeah, I was
forced to get 6 straight hours sleep without the phone ringing or someone
ringing my door bell." she smirks.
"By the way, thank you for not calling me constantly while you were
away."
"Uh, you're
welcome."
She gives me a look. "Sam took your phone and told you not to
bother me, didn't he?"
"No," I say
indignantly as I can. "It was
Leo." I whisper.
She grins and moves her
hand from where it's been making lazy circles over my lower back to wrap it
around my shoulders. More bricks begin to fall as she leans her head against my
shoulder and I kiss the top of her head.
Just as natural as can be. Which
both frightens me and makes me feel good.
I see some movement in
the reflection the window that causes me to look up. I see Leo in the
doorway. Donna's eyes must be closed
cause she doesn't notice. He motions for
me to stay where I am. He drops a file
on the table by the door and leaves with a smile.
"What?" mumbles
Donna tiredly.
"Nothing. Why don't you go home?"
"Yeah. I just have to run some stuff over to
Ginger. You leaving too?"
"I think so. I just have one thing left to do." I say
as I slide off the desk and reach for a pen.
"I'll be back in a
minute" she calls over her shoulder as she walks barefooted out into the
bullpen.
I write out the check and
search through my bag for something. A
few people have been trying to convince me that carrying a backpack after the
age of 40 is ridiculous so I got this other bag. I hate it, I want the backpack. Anyway, in the bottom of the side pocket is
an envelope with what I am looking for in it.
I stick the check in the envelope, put her name on the front and seal
it. I walk out to toss it on Donna's
desk.
I pack my bag and shut
down the computer with a feeling of contentment, a feeling of hope, a feeling
of complete and utter.... sappiness.
I hear Donna whistling
through the bullpen and I stand in the doorway to my office. She smiles as she sees the envelope.
"Open it." I
mouth.
She opens it and she gets
the look like she had when I gave her the book on skiing. I don't quite get it, after all the things in
the envelope are not that exciting. She
pulls out the check and I can tell she contemplating ripping it up, but her
small salary wins out and she shoves it in her pocket. She's about to toss the envelope in the
trash.
"Hey, there's more
in there." I say as I cross the
hall and lean against her filing cabinet.
She opens it again and
her face breaks out into a big grin.
"Stamps from Finland." she says as she starts to tear up.
You see, ever since the
stamp thing last year I try to remember to bring her a few stamps back from
where ever I go with the President. Over
the last 4 or 5 months I haven't brought any back, for reasons I'm not sure of
and probably wouldn't be very proud of.
"Yeah, I thought it
was time to restart the tradition." I say as I can feel my cheeks get red.
She leans over and kissed
me softly on the cheek. "Thank
you."
Donna grabs her tote bag
and I put my hand against the small of her back to guide her out of the
bullpen.
"So, I've been
thinking," she starts with a smile.
"I wasn't crazy about the moose meat part but the box was
nice. I think I'll keep it."
"Well, it does have
hand woven Lapland ribbon hinges."
"Yeah. So I suppose I could put the stamps in it, a
certain book on skiing, maybe even an ID badge." she says quietly as she
moves ever so slightly away from me, replacing a brick in the wall between us
that we just can't seem to completely break through.
Maybe sometime soon. But for now, things are good. Despite some bricks that are still in our way
we're almost back to being...us.
THE END
