Revenge Can Be a Sticky Situation
By 8:00 PM Sam's head had been pounding the
better part of the day. The Advil he took wasn't helping and neither was the
relentless banging of Toby's pink rubber balls against their common
window. The pink rubber spheres, of
course, were the major cause of Sam's pain in the first place. That and lunch with a group of Republicans
opposed to the Blue Ribbon Commission.
Sam knew Toby was about
to get on the phone with someone in Seth Gillette’s office. At least that would give him a few minutes of
peace and quiet. He leaned back in his
chair and propped his feet on the desk.
Just let me close my eyes for 10 minutes, he thought to himself. Through half closed eyes he saw Ginger drop
something on his desk, turn out the lights and close his door.
As he was starting to
drift off Toby's phone call ended.
Judging by the speed at which the balls hit the window, things had not
gone well. Toby looked at him and raised
his eyebrows as if to say, "Well, get in here"
Sam slowly rose from his
chair, grabbing his glasses, a note pad and a pen. He threw himself on Toby's couch with a sigh.
"What's wrong with
you, you look like hell" asked Toby as he resumed his throwing.
"Headache, Toby, I
wonder what could have caused it. Got
any ideas?" asked Sam.
"Nope" smirked
Toby.
Sam and Toby spent the
next hour going over the highlights of a 20-minute phone call. Toby kept the balls flying around the room as
they talked. Every time Sam would start
to zone out Toby would throw them harder and make more noise. Ginger had even gotten up from her desk and
closed the door. Finally Sam couldn't
take any more.
"Are we done here? I
can't even think straight."
"Yeah,
whatever. I'm going home,” muttered Toby
as he leaned over to pick up a ball that he had missed as it bounced off the
windowsill at an odd angle.
Sam walked across the
bullpen to go see Josh. Donna waved him
in when he arrived, Josh was on the phone.
Sam slumped into one of the chairs in front of Josh's desk, removed his
glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily.
"Hey buddy, what
happened to you?” asked Josh as he hung up the phone.
"Headache, Toby's
doing the ball thing again. And here I
thought the bell was bad. Doesn't even
compare" sighed Sam.
"Well, be thankful
for the shatter-proof glass around here"
"Yeah."
"Did you need
something or are you just hiding" inquired Josh as he leaned back and put
his feet up on the desk.
"Well, I'm not
hiding, Toby went home but I do need help.
I need a plan to stop Toby or I am going to have to go buy stock in
Advil."
"OK, let me
think"
Josh paced around the
room for a few minutes before he broke out into a huge grin.
"I got it, follow
me"
Josh went out to Donna's
desk with Sam right behind.
"Hey Donna, do you
still have that Crazy Glue you used to fix that..thing I broke."
"Joshua are you sure
you didn't steal those SAT scores?" asked Donna with her slightly
aggravated tone she was so fond of using with her boss.
"I got those scores
on my own, thank you very much. Now, the
glue?"
"Here, be careful
with it. Don't glue yourselves to
anything. Wait, what are you going to do
with this stuff?"
"Nothing, I'm sure
you will hear about it later" muttered Sam as he and Josh walked over to
Toby's office, mission impossible style, hiding behind plants, file cabinets
and doors.
They closed the blinds,
turned on the light in Toby's office and hunted down the balls that were
scattered around on the shelves, the couch and on the floor. They ended up with 14 balls.
"OK, where do we put
them?” wondered Josh.
"How about on the
desk?"
"No, I don't think
Leo would be too crazy about us using crazy glue on government property"
"How about just on
the shelf, still government property, but much cheaper than the desk"
"Sounds good to
me"
They spent the next few
minutes randomly gluing the balls onto Toby's shelves.
Sam held the last two in
his hand wondering where to put them.
"Where do you
think?" muttered Sam.
"Window sill, open
the window up. We'll glue them to the
sill and the bottom of the window. So
it'll be a little chilly in here tomorrow morning." grinned Josh.
By the time they were
ready to glue the last ball down the tube was nearly empty.
"Sam give it to me,
hold the ball and I'll squeeze the tube."
As Josh started to
squeeze the glue out a stiff breeze came through the window causing the door to
the office to slam shut. Josh jumped,
Sam jumped, the glue spurted out and Josh and Sam found themselves hand in hand. Literally, stuck hand in hand. The ball had managed to fall glue side down
and was stuck on Toby's chair.
"Great, now
what" muttered Sam.
They looked at each other
and sighed "Donna"
Sneaking out of the
office they tried to avoid as many people as possible, they were, after all,
hand in hand.
They didn't see Leo and
Jed come around a corner behind them.
The two of them managed to keep their laughter silent, preferring
instead to follow behind the two younger men watching their poor spy imitation.
They arrived at Donna's
desk as she was packing up to leave.
"The stuff is on
your desk, Joshua" she smirked.
"What's on my
desk?" asked Josh with all the innocence he could muster.
"Nail polish remover
and cotton balls."
"Why would we need
those things Donna?” asked Sam as he tried to pull their clasped hands behind
his back.
"Samuel, you and
your sidekick were being watched by the President and Leo for the past few
minutes. Leo called me and asked if I
knew why the two of you would be walking through the bullpen holding
hands. It didn't take much to put two
and two together and come up with both of you super-glued together. So, I'm going, see you in the morning."
said Donna as she walked away and never turned back.
"Let's go Tonto,"
ordered Josh as he pulled Sam into his office.
"Hey, how come you
get to be the Lone Ranger?"
"Because the Crazy
Glue was my idea."
"And look how great
that worked out," groaned Sam.
"Shut up and help me
open this bottle," growled Josh.
Twenty minutes and half a
bottle of acetone later they were free.
Three hours later and Sam
was pushing Josh up the stairs to his apartment. Mr. Sensitive System had decided that they
deserved a few rounds of drinks for accomplishing their mission. Fortunately for Sam, who had been paying, it
didn't take much to get Josh drunk. Sam
wasn't really sure he had finished the second beer.
**********
Next morning
6:30
AM
Sam was already in his
office when Toby arrived. He watched as
Toby picked up the messages off the desk and walked around the room reading
them. Apparently Toby didn't realize the
room was cold and papers were blown all over the place. As he read one of the messages he crumpled it
up and tossed it in the trash.
"That must have been
from Seth Gillette" muttered Sam to himself.
Toby turned towards his
bookshelf, tried to grab a ball and ended up nearly pulling the shelf down
instead. He took his coat off and went
to sit down, only to find a pink sphere stuck to his chair. A breeze blew through
the window sending papers flying through the air.
Toby glared over at Sam,
who just gave a little smile and a little wave, as he reached into the bottom
drawer of the desk and took out a box of 12 new pink balls. One by one they flew at the window.
“Oh God, why didn't we
check the drawers?" moaned Sam as he reached for the bottle of Advil.
THE END
