The Endless Night

I should have seen it coming. All of the signs were there. He's been cranky and tired the last couple of days. And as of this morning, light-headed and feverish, although I am sure he would not admit to the former. But after over 30 years of marriage and watching him struggle with MS for 7 years I can read him like a book. And he hates it. That he will admit to.

So when Leo called me a while ago I wasn't really surprised. He said Jed just wasn't himself and he was worried about him. Leo tried to talk to Jed but that didn't go over too well. Jed hates to be fussed over. Leo found Jed in the Oval Office struggling to get up out of the chair. When Jed refused to go back to the residence to rest because of the events scheduled for night ahead Leo cleared his schedule. Now my husband was out of excuses. I have the pleasure of returning from my late afternoon meeting and checking up on a very cranky patient. As I get to the door to the bedroom I stop and listen for a minute.

"Leo, you promised me you wouldn't call her. She'll just want to take my temperature and fuss over me. You know I hate that." My husband is doing his well-rehearsed imitation of a whiny child.

"Yes, Mr. President but I was more worried about not calling her. I don't want Abbey mad at me. You may be used to it but I am not."

"Will you stop with the "Mr. President stuff"; no one else is in here."

"Sorry, Jed. You know we are just worried about you."

"I'm fine; the two of you can stop fussing. Abbey, I know you are out in the hallway listening."

Caught again. So I resign myself to being yelled at and just open the door, entering with my best smile.

"You didn't have to come, I'm fine."

"I will be the judge of that, after all I am the one who went to medical school," as I go to the closet and grab my bag. Jed is sitting on the couch with his tie undone and his jacket off. He looks tired, feverish and God help me, more adorable than the day I married him. I take out the thermometer and he is complaining already.

"What happened to the ear one? It's quicker," Jed whines.

"Exactly, now put this under you tongue for 3 minutes so I can talk to Leo in peace." He does so reluctantly and not before sticking out his tongue at me.

"OK Leo, what happened?”

"We had just ended a meeting and everyone left the Oval Office. I asked him how he was feeling because he looked like crap. He made some comment about not sleeping well and dismissed me. When I left he was in his chair by the couch. I stuck my head back in the office a minute later and saw him try to stand up and he seemed to be having trouble. I helped him to the couch. Did admit he was a little dizzy. He put his head down for a minute and I got him a glass of water. He seemed a little better but I wanted to call Hackett. He didn't think it was necessary and told me not to call you either. But I did anyway. We walked back here with him complaining all the way. And here we are.”

"Hello, I am still in the room. Don't talk like I'm not here," Jed whines. This whining is going to get really old, really quickly.

"Fine Jed, give me that."

The mercury on the thermometer confirms what I have been dreading all day; it looks like we are in for a long night.

"102.1, not good. Leo can you get the ibuprofen and get a glass of water out of the bathroom?"

"Don't treat me like a child; I can get my own water."

"Fine, go and get it."

Leo and I manage to catch Jed before he hits the floor.

"Nice catch, can I have that water now Leo?” Jed says with a typical smirk, trying to hide just how bad he feels.

"Yes, Mr. President."

"Now what?” he asks after taking the pills and drinking a little water. “Do I have to sit on the couch for the rest of the evening dressed like this, or can I change clothes? I might was well get in to something more comfortable because I am sure you aren't going to let me go anywhere."

"That's right. I'll get you some sweats."

"Notre Dame please."

"Do you own any other kind?"

I hear Jed and Leo talking business while I hunt through Jed's closet. How can a man run an entire country and still not be able to put the dirty clothes in the hamper? I guess I will never know. I emerge with the requested attire.

"I think this is my cue to leave. I will be in the West Wing if you need me. I'll check in later. Behave yourself, Jed," Leo warns with a smile in my direction.

"I'll walk you out."

We leave the bedroom and start down the hall in silence. It is Leo who finally breaks it.

"Abbey, you really need to talk to him about keeping his condition a secret. It must be hard on him, on both of you. I think it is time to..."

"He refuses to discuss the matter. I guess he thinks it will go away if we don't acknowledge it. But I think things are getting a bit worse. His last flare up was right before the State of the Union, less than a year ago. He used to go well over a year between relapses. He needs to have some tests and we need to rethink his course of treatment."

"Good luck with that conversation. Call me if you need anything, I'll be here until late tonight. Things seem quiet so hopefully he can get some rest."

"Thanks for calling me. I know how Jed can be when he's not in total control of his surroundings. I will keep you posted. I'll tell the agents outside the door you are free to come in."

And with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek I watch my husband's best friend walk away while I quietly thank God for his support.

I grasp the doorknob with dread when I reach the bedroom. I’m not sure what’s waiting for me on the other side.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and Leo. I know you are just worried.” An apology is not what I expected. “Can you give me a hand with these sweats; I don't think I can do it myself."

"Sure."

I kneel on the floor and take off my husband's shoes and socks and help him into his sweats and slippers, as if he were one of the kids. I can't help but wonder if this is how things will be in the future. But there's no time to think about things like that now. "Couch or bed?"

"Not now dear, I'm not feeling too well," he smiles weakly. He seems to be resigned to have me fuss over him for a change. But that isn't a good sign. It means he's about to give in to the MS, at least for the moment.

"Very funny."

"Couch is fine."

I settle down at one end of the couch while he sits and puts his feet on the coffee table in an effort to get more comfortable. I know he views getting in the bed as a sign of defeat so I grab a pillow and gently pull him down, putting his head in my lap. He starts to talk but I put my fingers on his lips and tell him to relax. Sitting there with his head in my lap and stroking his hair it's easy to forget he is the most powerful man in the world. He's just my husband and I don't know what I would do without him. Darkness starts to fill the room and I am too comfortable to get up and turn on the lights. Jed has finally fallen asleep. He looks peaceful for a change. I just wonder how long it will last.

I can feel my eyes start t close and I know I’ll soon join him in sleep. The silence is broken a while later by the phone. I reach for it, my eyes still half closed. "Yeah, sure put him on."

"Hi, Charlie. He's doing OK. He's resting. He's not coming back down tonight so why don't you take off. I think Zoey is around, why don't you find her and go out to get something to eat?"

I glance at the clock and realize I slept for almost 45 minutes. Nothing like a power nap. The clock reads 6:00, almost an hour since Jed took something for the fever. I stretch for my bag and hunt for the ear thermometer. Placing a hand on his forehead I am not reassured that the thermometer will show much of a change. I am right, 101.9, not what I was hoping for. It should be lower by now. I gingerly lift his head from my lap and slide off the couch, trying not to wake him. I think I have succeeded. Now it is my turn to change into some sweats. I grab another Notre Dame shirt, the one he slept in last night. It smells like him. I run in to the bathroom so my sobs won’t wake him. It doesn't take me long to compose myself.

I return with a damp washcloth. I smooth back Jed's hair, drop a kiss on his cheek and place the cool cloth on his forehead. I grab a quilt out of the chest at end of the bed and cover him with it. Remembering I never stopped to eat this afternoon I go out to the hall to talk to the agent on duty before going to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

"The President is asleep. I'll be in the kitchen, call me if he wakes up. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Yes ma'am," the young agent answers in his usual clipped manner.

After a quick snack I head back to our bedroom. Jed's still sleeping but not so peacefully. He's gotten very restless and is extremely pale. His breathing is a little fast and shallow. I consider calling Hackett but decide to wait it out, at least for a little while longer. I find my briefcase and glasses and I fall into the chair next to him with some long overdue paperwork. I know it won't be long until I am napping again too.

"Abbey, Abbey," I hear Jed from the couch as I try to shake the cobwebs from my head. I turn on the light. The clock tells me it’s 8:09.

"I'm here sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. I just don't feel right, kind of weak and sick to my stomach."

"Are you going to be sick?"

"I don't know, maybe," he whispers as he struggles to sit up.

I help him sit up and he puts his head in his hands. I grab the wastebasket, just in case.

"Keep your head down and take slow, easy breaths. Do you want something to drink?”

"Yeah, ginger ale or something like that.”

I go get the can I brought back from the kitchen. I had a feeling I would need it. I get a straw for the soda and rewet the washcloth that fell off of his forehead and landing on the floor by his feet. I place it on the back of his neck and sit down next to him on the couch. Jed leans forward with his head in his hands. I gently rub his back while trying to help him control his breathing. He's been known to hyperventilate. I see how much he's struggling to stay in control and it just about kills me.

"In and out, slowly. Do you want me to count or get a paper bag?"

"No. I'm not practicing Lamaze or hyperventilating, I'm just trying not to puke on the carpet."

"Fine. Take a small sip of the soda." That turns out to be a bad idea. But God bless him, at least he has good aim and basically hits the wastebasket. I reach for the box of tissues when there's a knock at the door.

"Abbey, it's Leo. Is everything OK? The agent thought he heard someone tossing his cookies."

"That would be correct. Come on in. I could use a hand."

Leo comes in with a porter in tow and takes charge. The wastebasket is removed instantly. We get Jed to the bathroom and I get him cleaned up, give him a shot of Compazine and settle him back down on the couch. I take his blood pressure, low but not terrible, fever is still 101.9. His sweats made it through unscathed but I can't say the same for my slippers and sweatpants so I make a quick trip back to the closet. I watch Leo from the doorway. He is sitting on the coffee table watching Jed who is lying with his back towards Leo. Jed's shoulders start to shake and I know he is crying. I am frozen in place and feel totally helpless. But Leo knows what to do. He just moves over and sits on the very edge of the couch. He lays a hand on Jed's shoulder and just sits with him; he doesn't even need to say a word. For the second time in 2 hours I am reduced to tears. By the time I change in the bathroom and come back out Jed has once again fallen asleep. Leo is keeping vigil over him from the chair.

"He's asleep."

"I know, I was watching you sit with him. You certainly have a way with Jed. I know it's not always easy for him to express his feelings, but you know he loves you Leo."

"I know, I don't know what I would do without him. Do you mind if I stay for a while. I didn't have any plans and things have been quiet over in the West Wing. Josh and Sam are still there. Nobody's going to miss me."

"You don't have to ask. You know you are always welcome here."

"Thanks,” he replies with a smile as he settles back and puts his feet up. “Abbey, why don't you go for a walk? You look like you could use some air and time alone."

"That sounds good. I'll be in my office. I have to leave a note for Lillie. I want her to clear my schedule for the next couple of days. Make yourself comfortable. No offense, but you look like you could use a nap yourself. Feel free to raid the kitchen."

"Thanks, Abbey. If you head over to the West Wing let the guys know where I am."

"No problem. Thanks for staying with him."

I contemplate changing my clothes but then decide I don't care who sees me like this. True, I am the First Lady of the United States, but I am also a wife who just got puked on by her husband. And I am in no mood to wear anything but Jed's baggy sweats. I put on a pair of sneakers and grab my briefcase. By the time I turn to tell Leo I am leaving he is snoring softly from the chair. I take off his glasses, put his book on the table and cover him up with another quilt from the chest. I kiss them both, Jed on the cheek, which still feels very warm, and Leo on the top of his head. I ask the agent to keep an eye on them and I walk out in to the cool night air. It’s just what I needed.

After a quick stop to my office I wander over towards the Oval Office. Mrs. Landingham is getting ready to leave.

"How is the President feeling ma'am? Should I expect him in the morning?"

"He's getting some much needed rest at the moment. I don't think he will be doing much work tomorrow. Can you clear at least the morning?"

No problem. Is everything OK? I know he hasn't been himself lately. I tell him he needs to eat better, but he doesn't listen."

"Don't feel bad, he doesn't listen to me about that either," I laugh.

"Have you seen Mr. McGarry? Margaret seems to have lost him again. She paged him but he didn't answer."

"He's up in the residence. I think Leo turned off his beeper when the President fell asleep. And I'm sure he won't be hearing it now anyway. When I left the two of you were snoring away, one on the couch and the other on the chair." Mrs. Landingham can't help but smile. "I'll let Margaret know where to find him."

"Hope you have a good night dear."

"Thank you."

I enter the Oval Office. The lights are still on and everything is where Jed left it a few hours ago. I straighten up the photos on his desk a little; it gives me something to do. I sit in his chair and stare at our wedding photo. And at the one of the whole family taken on the porch of our farm in New Hampshire. I realize that was taken right before Jed was diagnosed. It seems like such a long time ago. I hear a knock at the door and Margaret pokes her head in.

"I heard where Leo is, is the President ok?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yes, he'll be fine. Do you want me to have Leo call you when I get back upstairs?"

"No, I'm on my way out. Just do me a favor and ask him to turn his beeper back on if he leaves the Residence."

"No problem, have a nice night Margaret."

"Thank you ma’am. You too."

Before any more people stop by to ask how Jed is I leave the office and head out through the Rose Garden. I hear my agent a few yards behind me.

"I'm just going to sit for a minute."

"No problem, ma'am."

The night is crisp and clear. I realize I really should have brought a jacket with me when someone places an old sweater of Jed's that he keeps in his office around my shoulders. For a minute I just pat the hand that has placed it there, not even knowing who it is behind me. Josh sits down looking rather worried. I really have to talk to Jed about clueing in the rest of the staff. I can't lie like this much longer. It's getting harder to hold things together.

"I hope I'm not interrupting. I was in the Oval Office putting something on the desk when I saw you out here. How's he feeling? I don't mean to pry but is there something more to this or is the President just exhausted?"

"He's just tired and has a touch of the stomach flu. He'll be fine. By the way Leo is with him if you are looking for him."

Josh nods. I don’t really think he believes me but he leaves anyway. I wrap the sweater around me and walk slowly back to the Residence.

It's almost 9:30 by the time I return. I manage not to run in to any more people on the way, which is a relief.

Jed and Leo are right where I left them, snoring away. Jed seems a little more relaxed and he feels a little cooler. The thermometer reads 100.8. Better but not where I want it. I rewet the washcloth and put it back on his forehead. I grab the remote and curl up on the couch with Jed's head in my lap again. He stirs but doesn't fully wake up. I notice the wastebasket has been cleaned and put back into its place. I move it a little closer, just in case.

The next 2 hours pass without a problem. The guys snore away and I channel surf while keeping one eye on the TV and the other on my sleeping husband. Finally at midnight I can't feel my legs any longer and I have to get up. In one motion I lift Jed's head up, stand up and put him back down on the couch without waking him. I'm getting good at this. I grab the can of soda and walk around the room and out onto the balcony to stretch my legs. While finishing my drink it occurs to me that Jed hasn't had anything to drink in the last 7 hours since he came up here and God only knows what he ate or drank today. I can make a safe bet that it wasn't vegetables. Thoughts of dehydration start to form in my head. I tell myself if it comes to that I will call Hackett and stop playing the doctor and just be the wife. I see someone moving in the room out of the corner of my eye. Jed is tentatively trying to sit up. I go in just in time to help adjust the pillows. Against his protests I check his temperature, still 100.4. Could it fall any slower?

"I thought the baby-sitter was supposed to stay awake,” says Jed with a weak smile as he motions towards Leo. “Remind me not to have him watch the grandchildren. How long has he been asleep?"

"You have both been snoring away for a few hours. Guess he needed some rest too. How are you feeling?"

"Like crap, thank you very much," he whispers as he pulls up the quilt a little more and curls up.

"Can I get you anything, a drink, snack, the wastebasket?” Jed grins a little at my weak attempt to lighten the mood. “Seriously, if you don't drink something substantial soon you're running the risk of dehydration. Do you think you can keep something down? Because if you can't I'm going to call Hackett and have him order an IV."

"No IV, please. I'll try. My stomach's feeling a little better. How about the soda."

"I just drank it; I'll go get another one. Don't get up, stay on the couch."

"Yes, Dr. Bartlet."

When I return with the soda he's actually still on the couch. He’s trying to read a briefing book without his glasses. Not a good idea for someone who is dizzy with a queasy stomach.

"You know you can't read without your glasses. Here try to get some of this down. Take it slow."

I get some more ibuprofen from the bathroom. He gives me a slightly annoyed look and swallows them with some of the soda. I hope he keeps them down. He won't be happy with the alternate route of administration.

I once again settle down at the end of the couch. Jed stands so I can swing my legs up and then he settles down by stretching out, leaning back against me so my chin rests on top of his head. I stroke his hair with one hand and rest the other on his chest while he slowly tries to drink the soda. He only gets a few more sips down and starts to shake. I grab the wastebasket, just in case. I take the soda and hold him as we concentrate on deep breathing. I debate waking Leo.

"Are you going to be sick?”

"No, I'm alright,” he whispers, not sounding too convincing. His breathing gets slow and steady, as does mine. I think he is just about asleep when Leo wakes up.

"How's he doing?"

"Not great. Fever is still up over 100 and he's not having much luck taking any fluids. I'm worried about dehydration. He got a couple of sips down but if he is still having trouble in an hour or so I will call Hackett and get an IV going."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah, you can imagine his reaction."

"Must you two always talk about me like I'm not in the room?" Jed whines.

"Sorry Jed, we thought you were asleep,” asks Leo as he seamlessly makes the transition from friend to Chief of Staff.

"Do you want to sleep; Leo and I can go talk in the hall."

"No, that's OK."

"Are you up to talking about a few things Mr. President?"

"Why did something happen while we were napping?"

Leo crosses to the other chair so he is facing us. I know what he wants to talk about and I give him a slight nod.

"Mr. President, Jed, I think it is time to discuss going public with your condition or at least coming clean with the rest of the senior staff. I don't want to speak for Abby but I know it is getting harder on me, keeping things quiet and making everything appear normal when sometimes things aren't."

"Jed, I just think that it would be easier if at least the senior staff knew. You're putting yourself through more stress keeping it inside. And since your relapses tend to be stress related you're making things harder on yourself."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't want people making a fuss over me, I'm the President of the United States for God's sake. How would it look, people helping me out of chairs and leading me by the arm?"

"Sir, it would look like you were human, which, like it or not you are. After a little while things will be back to normal. I will talk to the staff, they won't baby you. How about we tell them first and then we can think about going public?"

"Abbey, what do you think?"

"I think it would be easier all around if more people knew. I would worry less about you. Every time you start to look tired, run down and stressed out I drive Leo and Mrs. Landingham nuts calling to make sure you are OK."

"You really do that?"

"She certainly does, my friend."

"I'll think about the public. For now schedule a meeting with the senior staff for noon tomorrow. I'll have to let you know where in the morning. Hopefully I can get off the couch by myself by then, if not they can come here. I'll put on my best pajamas."

"I'll leave you two alone to talk for a while. Oh, Leo, if you leave don't forget to turn your pager back on. Margaret thought she lost you earlier."

"No problem, Margaret panics too much."

I grab Jed's sweater and walk out to the balcony for some fresh air. I can't hear them but I can imagine what is being said. I can see their profiles as they face each other on the couch, Jed leaning back on the arm with the quilt wrapped around him, Leo leaning forward. I watch as Jed appears to get very upset and it is all I can do not to go running in and hold him tight. But Leo has things under control, he hands Jed a tissue and gets him to take some of the soda. They talk for a few more minutes. By now Jed is looking very worn out so Leo rises from the couch and slips his shoes and jacket back on to leave. He gathers his things from the table. He leans down as if to tell Jed one last thing but instead plants a kiss on his forehead. That’s all it takes for me to burst into tears again. Leo notices I have been watching and winks and throws a kiss in my direction. I do the same as he closes the door. I decide to give Jed a few minutes to himself. I see him get up slowly and head towards the bathroom. Something doesn't look right about the way he is moving. I head inside as I glance at my watch, 1:23. He's still in the bathroom. I knock to check on him and I don't get an answer.

"Honey, are you OK. Do you want me to come in?"

"Yeah, come on in."

"Still queasy?"

"Yeah."

He's leaning on the sink splashing water on his face. I hand him a towel as he starts to leave the bathroom. I turn to watch him, his gait is off. He seems to be favoring his left leg. I decide not to say anything just yet.

"Do you want to go out on the balcony for some air? Might help you relax, or I can give you something to help you sleep."

"No, I'm OK,” he mutters and with those words the color drains from his face and he quickly returns to the bathroom in the nick of time. Once again I am holding his head and rubbing his back. This night already seems endless and I can't believe it is still 4 hours until dawn. He's exhausted and so am I. I stand up to get Jed a glass of water. I decide against trying to persuade him to go lie down on the couch and I just sit down on the floor next to him with my back against the wall. He takes a drink and leans back so I can hug him and give him some reassurance. But I can't, I'm scared and he knows it. I sit there quietly holding him, tears running down both our cheeks. After a while he takes deep breath and breaks the silence.

"I guess it is time to call Hackett. I don't seem to be keeping fluids down too well," he sighs trying his best to laugh.

"You certainly are not, but I must commend you on your aim."

"Thanks. Abbey, something was weird when I walked out of the bathroom before. My left leg felt strange. Like pins and needles."

"I noticed. Does it still feel that way?"

"Yeah."

I help him to his feet and he stumbles on the way to the couch. Things are not looking up and I think calling Hackett is the best thing to do right now.

“Go ahead, call him,” Jed says with a hint of resignation in his voice. I pick up the phone and call him as Jed glances away, trying his best not to pay attention to what I’m saying.

“He will be here in 20 minutes," I announce as I hang up the phone.

"Do I look presentable, no presidential puke on me?” I look him over and give him the thumbs up. “Thanks for waiting so long to call Hackett. I know you wanted to call about 4 hours ago."

"That's for sure. It’s time for me to take a step back and not be the doctor, just be the wife. I'm as scared as you are and I am afraid I won’t be objective."

"Honey, it's OK, I understand. I know I am not your idea of a perfect patient. Can you call Leo?"

"Sure."

Admiral Hackett and Leo arrive at the same time. I decide to just let Hackett take over and Leo and I step into the hallway.

"Thanks for calling me. I'm sure it was your idea and not Jed’s."

"Actually Jed asked me to call you back. You're good at calming him down and he knows it. I don't see us getting any sleep tonight so I guess he wants to talk about tomorrow. I think he's doing the right thing."

The door to the bedroom opens and Hackett appears. I send Leo in to be with Jed.

"Ma'am, let's sit down. His fever is back up to 101.1 so I gave him something to bring it down. He is slightly dehydrated, not bad but I started an IV just to be safe. His eyes look fine. Blood pressure is a little low; the fluids should help with that. I gave him Flumadine for the dizziness. I wanted to give him a shot of something to sleep but I think he wants to talk to you and Mr. McGarry. The main concern is his leg. He's complaining about tingling and numbness. He's walking with a clear limp. Because his condition is relapsing/remitting it should clear up when the flare up ends. I would like him to use a cane to cut down on the possibility of falling. I didn't mention that to him, maybe you could,” clearly Admiral Hackett wants no part of that conversation. I don’t blame him at all.

“I’ll make sure he uses it. Thanks for coming up.”

“If you need anything let me know. Just curious ma’am, has he considered telling his staff?"

"Yes, I think he is going to tell them tomorrow. It will be better for everyone. Thank you again for coming up."

"It’s not a problem. You’re very welcome ma’am. Have a good night."

I can hear Jed and Leo talking so I finish my coffee and wander the halls for a while. At 3:30 I head back, determined to get a few hours sleep.

When I return to the bedroom the guys are in matching positions, glasses on with books across their chests, sound asleep. Leo is on the couch. I slip off his shoes, remove his glasses and his book and cover him up. I don't think I would have made it through the night without him. Jed has resigned himself to climbing in bed. I'm sure that's just because Hackett needed to hang the IV bag from the bedpost. He's propped up on the pillows looking more peaceful than he has in the past 12 hours. I check the IV, put away his glasses and book, cover him up and climb in bed next to him.

***********************

The sun streams through the balcony windows. I haven't a clue what time it is. It could be the middle of the afternoon for all I know. Jed is curled up next to me still sound asleep. I place a tentative hand on his forehead. Not cool but not burning up so I guess we are making progress. It's a little after 8:00. I feel pretty good for only having gotten 4 hours sleep. Leo's already gone. I hope he got some rest too. There’s a note on the coffee table.

Jed and Abbey,

Thanks for the lovely evening. Let's not do it

again soon. Jed, hope you are feeling better

and things are looking up, (and staying down)

Call me when you are ready to make some plans.

I know I don't say it enough but, I love you

both very much.

Leo

I put it on the table next to Jed and go take a long, hot shower. When I get out Jed's still asleep and I decide to let him be. I dress, read the paper and have some coffee. Jed starts to stir as I finish my first cup.

"What time is it?" he asks his eyes still half closed.

"Almost 9:00. Let me check your temperature before you get up."

He's not arguing. I hope that's a good sign. I’ll be nice and use the ear thermometer.

"So, what's it say?"

"99.9, not too bad, but more importantly how are you feeling?"

"Better, thirsty and maybe even hungry. Unhook me and help me get out of bed."

"Not so fast. Hackett thinks you should use a cane for a few days. Just until you’re steady on your feet.” My tone and the look I give him let him know not to bother arguing with me.

"Fine, as long as you take out the IV."

I take it out and help him to the shower. While he's showering we talk about the meeting. I can't seem to convince him to go public with his condition. But at least the staff will know.

After considerable discussion over what he should wear, I help Jed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, Notre Dame of course. Jed has already been on the phone with Leo twice. Senior staff is meeting in the Oval Office at 12:00. He wants me to come to the meeting. As far as I know the issue of telling the public is dropped for now. As I tie his sneakers for him and go to try to find the cane in his disaster of a closet he tries valiantly to eat breakfast. He's been staring at the plate for a good 20 minutes now.

"Sweetie, don't force yourself to eat if you don't feel up to it. Have some tea," I yell from the closet.

"How about some coffee?"

"Josiah Edward you haven't eaten or had anything to drink in almost 24 hours. The first thing you put into your stomach is not going to be black coffee. I am in no mood to be holding your head and rubbing your back while you toss your cookies again." I emerge smiling from the closet with the cane and threaten to beat him with it. He gets the point and pours himself some tea and eats half a piece of toast.

We walk slowly together to the Oval Office. It’s a little over an hour until everyone arrives. Charlie is already waiting for us. Mrs. Landingham is waiting in Jed's office. Jed wants to tell her and Charlie first. I give his hand a quick squeeze as he walks into his office. Mrs. Landingham’s eyes widen at the sight of the cane as I close the door behind Jed and Charlie.

Ten minutes to go. Mrs. Landingham has pulled herself together and has decided to go home. I make plans to have lunch with her on Monday to talk about Jed. She seems relieved to be getting some pointers on dealing with him. I think she already deals with him very well. Not too many people can admonish the President of the United States for not eating his vegetables.

Leo and I decide it would be best for Jed to be sitting in the chair when everyone arrives. He tries to hide the cane but we convince him not to. Just lean it on the chair we suggest.

"But everyone will notice it."

"Honey, that's the idea. Use it as an ice breaker."

Leo goes out to the hallway to wait for the others.

Jed sits and I fuss over him for a minute. I smooth back the piece of hair that refuses to stay in place. I look into those big blue eyes, past the tired face and into the soul of the man I married. He winks at me and I almost burst into tears. He kisses my hand and I do the same to his. I take a seat on the couch nearest his chair.

There's a knock at the door and in they walk. Leo, Josh, Sam, CJ, Toby, Charlie. They look nervous, like they have been summoned to the principal's office. Josh notices the cane first, asking if Jed hurt his back again.

"No, my back is fine. I have something to tell all of you. It's something Abbey and I have kept in the family for far too long. I'll start in a minute; we are waiting on a few more people." I look around, no one is missing. My gaze falls on Leo who nods and gives me the faintest of smiles. As the door opens, Danny and a few other reporters walk in, I lean over, kiss Jed on the top of his head and whisper, "I love you and I am so proud of you."

I hold his hand and rub the back of his neck as he takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

THE END

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