The Not-So Merry Month of May

May 2013

Donna sat next to Josh idly flipping through a magazine waiting for the plane to take off. Their sons, Jacob and Jessie were in the row behind them. Jacob was turning 7 the next day and Jessie was five. They were deep in a discussion about the new video game Jake had gotten as an early birthday present. Josh was quieter than usual; sitting next to the window he was looking out at the planes stacked up on the runway. He was fidgeting as usual, tapping his fingers on the window, playing with the end of the seatbelt, humming quietly to himself.

"We're going to be late." he muttered as he rubbed his eyes.

"We rented a car, don't worry about it." said Donna as she squeezed his hand.

They were on their way to New Hampshire to visit Jed and Abbey. They had moved there permanently after Jed's heartbreaking loss in the 2002 election. As hard as the staff had tried, the MS issue was just too big to overcome and Jed was defeated by a fairly large margin.

Josh and Donna had been married in a small ceremony in the spring of 2004 and Jake was born almost exactly 2 years later. Jessie was a surprise, arriving a mere 19 months after his brother.

The family had settled in a nice neighborhood in Bethesda; in a house with a big yard and plenty of room to grow. After having two boys in a row they had decided to take a little break in the baby department. But when Jessie was two they thought about having another baby but it just never worked out that way. Now Donna was just past 40 and Josh was 53 so they decided that the two blessings they had were just right.

The trip had been Jake's idea. He wanted to celebrate his birthday with his Uncle Jed and Aunt Abbey. And with his birthday in the middle of May it worked out well. Now, even 13 years later, May was a hard month for Josh and Donna.

So they decided to make the trip up for a long weekend. Back in the fall Josh had decided to take a few semesters off from teaching Political Science at George Washington University. His health hadn't been the greatest over the past year. Despite medication and reluctant exercise his blood pressure was still high. He had been having increasing difficulty with his right side over the years. He used a cane when he went out but didn't bother with it around the house. It bothered him when he wasn't able to run and rough-house with the boys. But they understood as well as any boys their ages could understand.

Donna had taken the time to complete her degree after they left the White House. She was on the staff of a freshman Senator named Billy Fernandez, the same Billy who had ended up on Josh's list many years earlier while on a trip to the White House with the Presidential Classroom program. She loved the job and found it very rewarding.

With Josh taking time off they had been able to let the nanny go and just get by with an occasional babysitter. Josh found staying home to be rewarding in its own way. He did some political consulting when he felt like it. He had decided at 53 it was time to learn how to cook. Much to the surprise of Donna and the boys, he had actually become quite good at it. An occasional lecture broke up the cycle of car pools and basketball practice.

Although Josh had been tired and run down the last few weeks life in general was good for the Lyman family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donna felt Josh squeeze her hand as the plane taxied down the runway. Flying usually didn't bother him in the least so Donna leaned over to make sure he was ok.

"Josh, what's wrong?" she asked as she tipped his chin towards her.

She was startled for just a second as he turned to face her. He was incredibly pale and shaking slightly. "Josh, talk to me." she said a little more forcefully as she put a hand on his forehead. No fever. Just the opposite, he was cool and clammy.

"Headache." he whispered as he put his head back and closed his eyes. Donna reached for his backpack that was on the floor under the seat in front of him. She grabbed a few Advil and a bottle of water he had stuffed in there before leaving the house earlier.

"Here, take these." she said as she put the pills in his hand and opened the water.

Josh took the Advil and drank some water. He pushed the seat back a little and curled up facing the window. Donna got him a blanket and pillow from the flight attendant. She turned sideways in her seat and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. He slept restlessly for the rest of the flight; waking just as the plane began its descent into Manchester.

"You feel any better?" she asked.

"A little I guess." he answered as he struggled to buckle the seat belt with his right hand.

Donna reached over and did it for him. Josh sat back in the seat, opening and closing his right hand and wiggling his fingers.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't know." he said holding up his right hand. "My hand was tucked under my head, it must have fallen asleep."

Donna took a hold of his hand and brushed her lips against his knuckles.

"You need to get some sleep this weekend."

"I know." he said wearily.

Donna made a mental note to talk to Abbey about a couple of things over the next few days.

They landed in Manchester only 10 minutes behind schedule. Abbey had wanted to send a car to pick them up but Donna insisted on renting a car and driving out to the farm.

The boys dozed in the back seat while Donna drove. Josh fiddled with the radio until he found NPR. Donna drove with one eye on the road and the other on Josh. He knew she was watching his every move and he made an effort not to show just how bad he was feeling. The feeling of pins and needles in his hand had gone almost as quickly as it had come. With the help of the Advil and some sleep his headache had lessened to a dull throbbing.

Donna called Abbey from the car and when they pulled into the long driveway she could see Jed and Abbey waiting for them on the porch swing. The boys were out of the car almost before Donna had a chance to put it in park. They flew up the front steps and into Abbey's arms. After they had kissed their "Aunt" the boys climbed onto the swing to greet Jed. Donna got out of the car and waved before walking to the passenger's side and opening the door for Josh.

"You ok, you need your cane?" she asked as he swung his legs out the door.

"No. I'm just a little stiff from sitting. Just give me a minute. You go ahead." he said motioning towards the house.

Donna gave a sigh and climbed the familiar wooden steps to greet their friends. She gave Abbey a big hug. The boys had already run around the back of the house and were on the tire swing hanging from the large oak tree.

"Josh ok?" asked Abbey.

"Just a little stiff and stubborn. Please don't fuss." said Donna, her eyes pleading slightly.

"I won't."

Abbey went down the stairs and over to Josh. She kissed his cheek and tucked her arm in his while Donna sat down on the swing next to Jed. He was looking pretty good. A little grayer than the last time Donna and Josh had seen him, a little wearier but with blue eyes that were still as bright as ever.

"How was the trip?" Jed asked as he took Donna's hand in his.

"Fine. The boys were great on the plane, Josh slept, I managed to read a whole magazine with no interruptions."

They chatted about Donna's job for a minute, until Josh and Abbey stepped onto the porch.

"How about we go in for some tea? Dinner will be ready in about and hour and a half." said Abbey as she opened the front door.

"I'll be there in a minute. Let me just get the stuff out of the car."

"Nonsense. Someone will get it out for you." said Jed as he let Donna help him to his feet. She handed him his wooden cane that had been resting against the porch railing.

The four friends went into the farmhouse's large kitchen and sat around the table with their tea. They caught up on all the latest news from the rest of Bartlet's staff. Abbey and Donna were careful to steer the conversation away from any unsettling paths. There were no mentions of MS, high blood pressure or anything remotely medical.

After dinner the boys played basketball in the driveway while Jed and Josh went into the study to talk politics. Abbey and Donna took a walk around the pond to catch up.

"Donna, how's Josh, really?" asked Abbey as they stopped and sat down on the boulder that overlooked the small pond.

"Not so great. I thought when he took time off he would be able to relax a little, get some rest, get some strength back."

"Josh, relax? You're kidding right?" teased Abbey.

"Apparently so. He says he likes being home. He's even learned to cook but there are times he just looks so...lost."

"Think he's depressed?"

"Maybe a little. His blood pressure's been high the last six months. The doctor's tried a few medications without much success. He'd like to see Josh exercise a little more but there's only so much he can do. He's frequently unsteady on his feet. He's not big on using the cane around the house but when he goes out to walk he does take it with him. He walks the boys to school every morning and then goes to pick them up in the afternoon."

"Well, I can certainly sympathize with you about having a husband reluctant to use the cane." said Abbey with a grin. "But, actually Jed's doing well. He did quite a few speaking engagements this spring. The MS is still relapsing/remitting; although the relapses come more frequently he does usually recover from them quite quickly. He just had one last week and the limp seems to be hanging on so he's one with the cane again for probably another week or so."

"He looks good. How's he..uh.."

"Mentally?"

Donna nodded.

"Sharp as ever. Which is actually a surprise. He still reads three papers a day and keeps up with all things political. He does a little consulting under the radar. He and Leo talk almost everyday.

"Yeah, Josh talks to Leo a few times a week. He was down in DC about a month ago. He stayed with us for a few days. He looks great. The boys had a great time with him."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the boys play basketball. Jed and Josh had wandered out onto the court. Josh motioned for Jake to toss him the ball.

"You have your medical bag handy?" asked Donna as she smiled and waved at Josh.

"Oh yeah, right inside the house."

Josh took a dozen or so shots, managing to make about half of them.

"Not bad." said Abbey. "Donna is Josh having trouble with his hand? He keeps opening and closing his fist and flexing his fingers."

"That's something new. It happened on the plane but we both thought it was just because he had fallen asleep with his hand tucked behind his head. He said it felt like pins and needles. Why? Do you think something is wrong?"

Abbey shrugged a little. "It's probably nothing. My doctor senses are just running wild, I guess."

"Ask him about it later, but don't say I told you anything."

"Sure."

They turned their attention back to the court. Jed had just made a shot with one hand while holding the cane with the other. The "boys" played for a while longer, until Donna took the little boys in to get them ready for bed. After much discussion about sleeping in the barn they settled down in the twin beds that used to belong to Elizabeth and Ellie. Donna kissed them good-night and went to make a few phone calls.

Jed had gone up to get ready for bed. Despite his more frequent relapses he refused to have the master bedroom moved to the first floor. So some days it took him longer to navigate the stairs. Josh had wandered down the hall to use the bathroom. Abbey went to the kitchen to put some water on the stove. Josh wandered in a few minutes later, flexing the fingers on his right hand. He stopped as soon as he realized Abbey was in the room.

"Hey Josh, you want a cup of tea?" asked Abbey.

"Sure, thanks." he said as he sank down into a chair at the table. He grabbed a banana out of the fruit basket in the middle of the table.

They chatted about the boys and how they were doing in school while they waited for the water to boil. When it did, Abbey set two mugs on the table and sat next to Josh.

He knew he was about to get a medical grilling. "Abbey, please, just ask whatever you want to ask, say whatever you want to say." he said with a small smile.

"Fine. What's with your hand?" she asked as she took his right hand in her own hands, turning it over and patting it before putting it back on the table.

Josh went on to tell Abbey the same story Donna had.

"This the first time it's happened?"

Josh sighed a bit and fidgeted in his seat a little. "No. It happened one day last week too. The sensation came and went for a few hours and then disappeared all together."

Abbey was quiet while she mulled over a few things in her head.

"Josh, I want to take your blood pressure."

"Fine." he agreed. "I can tell you now, it's going to be high." he said as he pulled his sweatshirt off over his head.

Abbey got her bag out of the bedroom and returned a minute later. Josh had been right, it was a little high, but nothing to panic about.

"You feel ok otherwise?"

"Had a headache on the plane. It was probably just the cabin pressure or something." replied Josh, wanting desperately to steer the conversation in another direction, any direction. "So how are the grandchildren?"

"Misdirection isn't going to work on me, Joshua. You and I are going to do some serious talking this weekend."

Josh rolled his eyes as Abbey laughed. "The grandchildren are fine. Annie's just finishing her first year of law school. Zoey and Charlie were up here with the twins last week. I can’t believe they are 4 already."

"And how is Ellie?"

"She's good. Too busy being a neurologist to give me more grandchildren but she is seeing someone at the moment. He's a doctor at Johns Hopkins, where Ellie is working. We saw them a few months ago in Baltimore when Jed was down there giving a speech. He seems nice although I don't know that Ellie is looking to have a husband and a family anytime soon."

Josh realized the uncomfortable portion of the conversation was over and he settled back with his tea. He let the warmth relax him both inside and out as he wrapped his fingers around the steaming mug.

By the time they finished their tea Abbey was yawning.

"Why don't you go to bed? I'm just going to have another cup and then go to bed myself."

"OK. But don't stay up too late. You need some rest, Josh." warned Abbey.

"Yes, mom." he said with a smirk as Abbey leaned over to kiss the top of his head. "Sleep well, see you in the morning."

"You too." said Abbey as she turned to go up the stairs.

Josh finished the tea and started up the stairs. Donna was still awake and working on her laptop when he got to the guest room. He smiled a weary smile as he went into the adjoining bathroom and got ready for bed. He came out in a t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants.

"You take your pills?" asked Donna without looking up from the computer.

"Yeah and I took some Advil too."

Donna looked up as he grabbed a book off of the bookshelf and climbed into bed. "Headache?"

"A little." he admitted as he pulled the quilt over his legs. "Damn" he muttered as he threw the quilt off again and went over to grab his reading glasses out of his backpack. After much prodding from Donna he had finally given in and made an appointment with the eye doctor a year earlier. He had recommended bifocals and Josh had flat out refused them. Now a year later, he had just ordered a pair. He was tired of losing the reading glasses and decided that just wearing them all the time would solve that problem.

Josh read while Donna finished up what she was doing on the computer. She never asked what he and Abbey had talked about and he didn't offer any information about their conversation.

Finally the book slipped from Josh's grip and slid to the floor. Donna reached over to take off his glasses and nudge him a bit to get him to lie down. She brushed back his hair. It had gotten thinner and started to turn gray over the years but it was still as unruly as it had always been. After kissing his forehead she settled down next to him as he rolled over onto his stomach. She reached under his shirt to rub his back for a minute before falling asleep herself.

The boys were awake by 7 the next morning. Abbey had managed to grab them before they woke their parents. She made them a quick breakfast and then they dressed quickly to go exploring in the barn. Donna was up by 8 and she threw on her robe, leaving Josh to catch up on his sleep.

Abbey was on the phone in the kitchen when Donna walked in. She poured herself a cup of coffee and grabbed an afghan off the sofa in the living room. The morning air was chilly as she stepped outside and sat on the porch swing. She finished half the coffee by the time Abbey wandered out.

"Josh still asleep?"

"Yeah. He slept pretty well. I only heard him get up once. Jed still asleep?"

"No, he's in the study doing his morning ritual of reading the paper and yelling at CNN."

"Ah. Where are the boys?"

"In the barn looking for snakes."

"Yeah, well, I hope they don't expect Josh to get up and go help them in that endeavor." laughed Donna.

They looked out over the property until they heard a loud thud from in the house and Jed's voice yelling for Abbey. Donna tossed aside the coffee and unwrapped the afghan just as quick as she could.

They found Jed kneeling in the kitchen over Josh's body. Abbey dropped to the floor as she told Donna to get her bag off the table. Josh was on his side, his eyes were closed and he was moaning slightly.

"Jed what happened?" asked Donna as she handed Abbey the black bag. Donna knelt down next to Josh and held his hand.

"We were talking, he mumbled something I couldn't understand, he went to take a step towards the chair and his legs gave out."

"OK, I need you to call 911 and alert the agents. Get one of them to go down to the barn and keep the boys there for now." said Abbey as she turned her attention back to Josh. "Josh, can you hear me?" she asked as she rolled him over onto his back.

He nodded and tried to say something.

"It's OK. Don't try and talk, just nod. Are you in any pain?"

He nodded a little and pointed to his head with his left hand.

"Head hurts?"

Josh nodded again.

"Just stay still. I'm going to take your blood pressure and listen to your heart, ok?"

She took a quick reading and listened to his heart and lungs for a minute. She leaned over Josh and took his hands in hers. "Josh I want you to squeeze my hands." He squeezed with both but there was considerably less strength in his right hand.

"OK, that's good. You just relax for a minute." said Abbey as she turned her attention towards Donna.

"What's your gut feeling?" she asked, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to overflow.

"Stroke. So every minute's going to count. I need you to go get dressed and grab any medication Josh takes on a regular basis. Get your insurance information and anything else you'll need."

Donna nodded, kissed Josh's hand and ran down the hall. As she was coming back down she heard the EMT's at the front door. They did a quick exam, agreed with Abbey's diagnosis and strapped Josh onto the gurney. Jed appeared in the kitchen as they were getting ready to wheel him out. He looked at Abbey with fear in his blue eyes.

"Most likely a stroke. Stay here for now. We don't need a media circus. It will be bad enough, I'm sure it is all over that a 911 call was made from here as it is. Keep an eye on the boys, call Leo and call Sam."

Jed nodded as he walked towards Josh. He reached out and brushed back Josh's hair, just as he had done 13 years earlier when Josh was first coming out of the anesthesia after his 14 hour surgery. Jed leaned over and kissed Josh's forehead as he was wheeled out.

The twenty-minute ride to Elliot Hospital was a harrowing one. Josh was very agitated and Donna was doing her best to comfort him. Abbey made a call to Dr. Tom Stephenson who was the head of Neuology at the hospital. She had known him for years. He had been at Massachusetts General years ago and had diagnosed Jed's MS 20 years earlier.

The door flung open as the ambulance screeched to a stop. Josh was taken off in seconds. Abbey motioned for Donna to go with him and she stopped to give a short statement to the members of the press who had already begun to gather.

By the time she made it to Josh's room it was swarming with medical personnel in crisis mode. She made her way to the corner where Donna was standing, trying to hold back her tears. The room was a well-choreographed lesson in medical mayhem. Almost as fast as the room had filled up, it began to clear. Soon it was just Josh, Donna, Abbey and a single nurse.

"Mrs. Lyman, you can sit with your husband." she said as she pulled a stool up next to the bed.

Donna mumbled a few words of thanks and sat down next to Josh. He had his eyes closed and it gave her a few minutes to get a good look at him. He was very pale with wires and other medical apparatus sticking out all over the place. He had the pulse ox sensor on his left index finger, an IV in his left hand, Band-Aids on the crook of each elbow, nasal oxygen and EKG wires snaking out from under the gown they had put in him.

"Donna, just hold his hand, you won't disturb anything." said Abbey as she pulled up another stool and sat on Josh's right side.

Donna took his hand in hers. It felt so cold as she brushed her lips across his knuckles. With great effort Josh opened his eyes and gave her a lop-sided grin. The right side of his mouth didn't quite turn up as much as the left. Donna hid her fear as she looked over Josh's chest to Abbey. With a nod of her head Abbey let her know she had seen the same thing.

Josh moaned a little, trying to talk.

"Hey, just relax, don't try to talk." said Donna as she wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.

He tried smiling again but became aware that something just wasn't right. The beeping of the heart monitor sped up a little.

"Josh, are you in pain?" asked Abbey.

He shook his head and shivered a little.

"Cold?"

He nodded. Abbey and Donna carefully pulled the blanket up around him and settled his arms on top of it, careful not to disturb any of the tubes or wires. His heart rate returned to normal for a few minutes before speeding up again.

"Josh, what's wrong?" asked Abbey as she tipped his chin towards her. He moaned a little and brought his left hand up to his mouth.

"Donna, the basin." yelled Abbey as she pointed at the pink basin on the tray behind Donna.

He coughed a few times and Abbey managed to get him onto his left side before he got sick. Donna was right there with the basin. Since Josh hadn't eaten anything he was mostly just dry heaving.

Josh was just starting to settle down when the doctor came in. He greeted Abbey with a hug and a kiss on the cheek before turning towards Josh and Donna.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Tom Stephenson." he said as he held out his hand to Donna and patted Josh's shoulder. "I guess I won't ask how you're doing." he grinned as he reached for Josh's chart.

Josh weakly returned the smile.

"OK, here's the deal. Josh, you have indeed suffered a stroke. I can't say how severe without running some tests. The numbness in your hand and the headache you had yesterday were indicators of something called a TIA, or basically a mini-stroke. I'm going to schedule a few tests now and within an hour we will have a plan ready." He turned to talk to Abbey, "I'd like to see his recent medical records. Can you see if you can get them sent here."

"Sure." said Abbey as she took the number from the Tom.

Josh was taken for a CAT scan and a few other tests. Donna waited in the waiting room with Abbey. She nervously paced around until Abbey forced her into a seat. Donna was just about to protest when Dr. Stephenson stepped off the elevator and walked towards them.

"How is he? When can I see him? What did the tests show?"

"Hold on Donna. One question at a time. We put him in the ICU on the third floor, he's sleeping, finally. He's quite a fidgety guy."

"Yeah, that's nothing new." teased Abbey.

"The tests confirmed the diagnosis of a mild to moderate stroke. Our main focus now is preventing any further damage. Donna have you ever heard of TPA?"

"Yeah, it's something that breaks up blood clots or something like that."

"That's right. With Josh's high blood pressure he is on the line for using TPA but I think the advantages outweigh the risks and I would like to go ahead and administer it, with your permission. Here's a pamphlet that explains it in more detail. You can take a few minutes to think about it."

Donna looked over at Abbey with questioning eyes. "Go ahead." said Abbey.

"Let's do it." said Donna. "Can I see him first?"

"Sure, you can be there when we administer it. The drug goes into the IV."

Donna went back to the room while Tom and Abbey talked for a few more minutes. A nurse was sitting in the corner making notes on Josh's chart. She nodded briefly at Donna and turned her attention back to her writing. The room was quiet; the volume on the heart monitor had been turned down. Josh was indeed asleep. Donna kissed his forehead and pulled up a chair to sit next to him. He looked so pale, the harsh lights and the stark white linens made the dark circles under his eyes stand out in sharp contrast. She wondered when he had gotten the little lines around his eyes and when the hair at his temples had turned so gray. Running her hand across the stubble on his chin she stopped to run her thumb over his lips. He stirred a little and started to wake up.

"Do-ua" he muttered not quite getting the word out.

"Yeah, it's me. The doctor's on his way. You need anything?"

"Wa-er" he said through his chapped lips.

Donna picked up the cup of water from the side table and held the straw up to his lips. "Take it slow." she warned.

Josh got a couple small sips down as Abbey and Tom entered the room. Donna quickly wiped his face with her hand and smoothed down his hair.

David explained the TPA procedure, the risks and the benefits to Josh. Satisfied that Josh had understood he turned to the nurse to ask her to get the injection ready. The nurse put down the chart and got the Activase ready to administer.

"What are the side effects of the drug?" asked Donna.

"More common ones that we are pretty likely to see are a fever, lowered blood pressure, which, in Josh's case is not a problem at all. He will also bleed very easily. He can't shave for a while. He needs to stay in bed while it is administered and for some time afterwards. Expect to see some oozing of blood under the Band-Aids on his arms, possibly at the IV site. Are there any other recent wounds?"

"Yeah, his right knee. He tripped on the patio a few days ago wearing shorts. The boys teased him about skinning his knee."

"We'll keep an eye on that." He said as he pulled the sheet off of Josh's leg so he could get a look at his knee. The nurse handed him a band-aid to put over the scrape. "So you two have boys?" asked Tom as he took the drug and put it in Josh's IV line himself.

Josh nodded and smiled at the mention of his sons.

"Two. Jake and Jessie. Today is..." Donna's voice trailed off as Abbey finished her thought.

"Today is Jake's 7th birthday." she said as she gave Donna a quick hug.

"Well, by later today you will be able to bring them here to see Josh for a little while."

"OK" whispered Donna.

"And that's it for now. Josh, I need you to stay quiet and still for a while. Sleep would be a good thing."

That order brought laughter to the group.

"That's not a likely scenario." said Abbey as she patted Josh on the shoulder. He shrugged his shoulders the best he could and gave a crooked smile.

"Seriously, you need rest."

He noted a few things on the chart and left the room.

"I think I'm going to head back to the farm for a while, check on Jed and the boys. You need me to do anything?"

"Call Sam and Leo."

"I told Jed to do that when we left but I'll call them with an update. Anything else?"

"Kiss the boys and tell them I will be there sometime this afternoon."

"No problem." said Abbey as she leaned over to kiss Josh on the cheek. "Behave yourself, get some rest."

"Kay." he muttered.

"I'm just going to walk Abbey to the elevator. I'll be right back. Close you eyes, okay?"

Josh nodded and closed his eyes. Donna flicked off the overhead light in the room and walked Abbey out. As she watched the elevator door close she glanced at her watch. It was almost 11:30. It was hard to believe so much had happened in a little less than 3 hours. She peeked her head in Josh's room and found he was asleep so she took the elevator down to the first floor and the cafeteria. She grabbed a cup of tea and a bowl of cut up melon. Stopping at the gift shop she grabbed two magazines, one for her and one for Josh.

Josh was still sleeping when she got back to the room almost 45 minutes later. She kissed his forehead and took notice that he seemed a little warmer than he had been. Taking a glance at the Band-Aid in the crook of his left arm she saw it was red with fresh blood. Same thing with the other arm and his knee. She made a mental note to ask for some fresh ones when Josh woke up.

Taking a glance at the recliner that had been moved into the room she smiled, as she was sure Abbey had arranged for that. Donna curled up in the chair with her tea, her fruit and her magazine. By the time she was done her food Josh was starting to wake up.

"Hey, don't try to sit up." she said as she walked over to the bed. She pushed the button and raised the head of the bed a little. "Better?"

He nodded and tried to reach for the cup of water on the tray table. Donna handed it to him and he managed to hold it in his left hand despite the IV. Josh started to drink the water quickly.

"Hey, slow down a little." she teased as she held up a new pink basin.

"V-very f-funny." he said.

"Hey, you're sounding a little better." said Donna with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"W-worn out and...and c-cold."

"Well, you have every right to be worn out. And your temperature's up a little so that's why you feel chilly. You want another blanket?"

"Yeah."

Donna grabbed a blanket out of the closet and tucked it carefully around him. She put her hand on his forehead. "You're getting warmer. I'm going to call the nurse."

She rang the button and the nurse arrived a few minutes later.

"Hi, I'm Amy. What seems to be the trouble Mr. Lyman?" she asked pleasantly.

"J-Josh." he said slowly.

"I think he's starting to run a fever."

"OK, let's just check." Amy said as she reached for the ear thermometer. "Yep, 101.1. I'll let the doctor know although there isn't too much we can do about it. Over the counter fever reducers aren't usually effective with TPA. But we can try some things to make you more comfortable. Fluids will help, a cool cloth on your forehead might help." she said as she turned to face Donna. "There is stack of washcloths in the bathroom if he wants to try that." She turned her attention back to Josh, "Do have any questions Josh?"

"C-can I eat?"

"If you're hungry you can try a little something but I would take it slow. You want Jello?"

Josh stuck out his tongue and groaned.

"Josh hasn't eaten Jello in the 13 years since he was shot." explained Donna with a smile.

"I can't say I blame you. How about some pudding or some ice cream?"

"P-pudding, va-vanilla."

"I'll get some in a minute. Just a little warning, you still have some weakness on the right side so swallowing might feel a little strange. Take it slow and you'll be fine. You have any questions, Donna?"

"Can you change the Band-aids?"

"Sure, I'll get some fresh ones."

Ten minutes later Amy had finished changing the Band-aids and Josh was staring at the pudding on the tray table in front of him. Donna was trying to decide whether or not to offer to help him or wait for him to ask for help. She knew that could take a while. He lacked the strength in his right hand to grasp the spoon and his left was a little hampered by the IV.

Amy stepped out of the room quietly.

Josh looked at Donna with a small smile and a pleading look in his eye.

"Want some help?"

He nodded. Donna moved the tray table and nudged him over a bit so she could sit on the bed. She gave him a spoonful of the pudding and he struggled for a minute with it, trying to get it to go down.

"You ok?" asked Donna softly as she wiped a bit of pudding off of his chin.

"Yeah. J-just give me some w-water."

He drank some water and they tried the pudding again, having a little more success with each spoonful.

By the time the pudding was gone Josh was doing pretty well with the swallowing. He finished the water and sent Donna on a search for some ginger ale.

When she got back from the nurse's station she found Josh leaning over the side of the bed trying to snag the magazine from on top of her purse.

"Joshua Lyman, what the hell are you doing?"

Josh smiled sheepishly and managed to haul himself back up on the bed. Donna put the soda on the table and handed him the magazine.

"You could have fallen, Josh." she said with a hint of exasperation in her voice.

"But I didn't." he shot back.

"Yeah, cause I walked in before you could lean over any further."

"I...I..." Josh couldn't quite get the words out so he held up his hands in the shape of a "T", the universal sign for timeout.

Donna smiled at him and sat down on the bed. "Fine. Read your magazine and try to keep still, or I'm having you sedated." she warned as she reached out to run her fingers through his hair.

"Uh, Donna do you have my g-glasses?"

She nodded and grabbed them out of her purse. "I need to go make a few phone calls, can I trust you to behave?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah."

Donna made some phone calls and got a sandwich from the cafeteria. Jed had gotten a hold of both Sam and Leo. Sam was in California but was ready to hop on the next plane if Donna needed him. Leo was coming up from Cape Cod with Margaret who had been visiting him for a few days. They would be arriving around dinnertime. They boys were doing pretty well, Jessie was little too young to understand much but Abbey took some time to explain things more fully to Jake. She promised him they would still have cake but he told her he only wanted to have cake if Josh could have some too. That broke Donna's heart and she searched her purse for some tissues.

Almost an hour had passed by the time she got back up to Josh's room. It was not quite 2:00 in the afternoon and already the day seemed endless. Josh was asleep with his glasses on and the magazine in his lap when Donna pushed open the door. She removed the glasses and magazine carefully before pulling the blanket up around him. A kiss to his forehead told her he was still running a significant fever. She wet a washcloth with cool water and put it on his forehead. Pulling the chair next to the bed she laid her own head down next to him, holding his left hand. She dozed off for a while and awoke to some confusion outside the door to Josh's room.

She shook her head to clear it and glanced at her watch, it was 3:00. Walking towards the door she saw a flurry of activity in the hall. She opened the door and took notice of a few men in dark suits and earpieces. Ducking back in the room she went into the bathroom to comb her hair and try to look presentable, as she was sure Jed would be up in just a minute.

Jed knocked softly on Josh's door.

"Come in." Donna called quietly.

Jed took one look at her and pulled her into his arms. She finally let herself breakdown for the first time since they had arrived at the hospital that morning. She took Jed's handkerchief and managed to pull herself together quite quickly.

"Sorry." she muttered as she untangled herself from his arms.

"Nonsense, you have nothing to apologize for. Now let's sit down. How is he?"

"He's doing pretty well, or so I've been told. His speech is returning quickly. Don't know about any gross motor problems yet. They will know more tomorrow. Right hand is a little weak. He's been sleeping off and on all day. He's running a fever now, a side effect of the Activase."

"Behaving himself while he's awake?"

Donna smiled.

"Guess that's a no?"

"He's fine if someone is in the room with him." she clarified.

"Well, Abbey sent me here to get you to go back to the farm for a while. See the boys, get cleaned up, eat a decent meal."

"Sir, I can't ask you to stay here and watch him sleep."

"Donna, it's not a problem and when did you go back to calling me sir?"

"Sorry, Jed. Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I brought something to read. I might even catch a nap myself. Go. Leo and Margaret should be arriving in a few hours."

"They didn't really need to come up."

"Donna do you really think you could have stopped Leo from coming up? Josh is like a son to him, to both of us."

"You're right. I'll go back to the farm for a few hours. Call me if anything changes, anything."

"I will." said Jed as he held out her coat for her to put on.

She slipped it on and turned back around to face him. Jed kissed her on the forehead and stepped aside so she could say goodbye to Josh. She leaned over and refolded the cloth so it was cool again and kissed his cheek, whispering, "I love you, behave yourself."

Josh slept off and on for the remainder of the afternoon. He didn't cause any trouble and managed to remain pretty still. Jed on the other hand drove the agents nuts, wanting to wander around the hospital.

By the time Donna and the boys came up to see Josh he was awake and had just managed to eat some soup and a cherry Popsicle. He was still running a fever but the Tom had been in and didn't see any reason to start worrying, yet. Tom had noted some returning strength in his right hand. The big test would come in the morning when they got Josh out of bed.

"Daddy." cried the boys as Donna opened the door.

"Don't jump on the bed, boys." she said quickly.

The boys stopped just short of the bed. Josh leaned over a little to kiss the top of their blond heads. "H-happy Birthday, J-Jake." said Josh.

"Thanks Dad. Did you know Uncle Leo's coming up to see you?"

"Yeah, Jed told me a little while ago." said Josh as he looked around the room for Jed.

"I think he went to bother the nurses." said Donna as she leaned to kiss him. "You look good." she said, brushing back his hair.

"I slept, a lot. Ate a l-little dinner. Tom wants to see you."

"OK, I'll go see him. You boys ok here with Dad while I go see the doctor?"

They nodded. "Good. Go easy on your Dad. Why don't you tell him about the snake you found in the barn."

Josh cringed at the mere thought of snakes in the barn.

By 8:00 Jessie was asleep in the recliner and Jake was curled up on the bed with Josh watching television. Donna was sorting through the stuff she had brought from the farm, Josh's pajamas, his backpack and bathroom items. She put some things in the closet and the rest in the bathroom.

Abbey arrived to take the boys back to the farm. Leo followed her over in his rental car as he was planning on staying for a while. Donna carried Jessie out to the car while Abbey took a hold of Jake's hand and managed to lead him out the door. Leo settled in to have a one sided conversation with Josh, as Josh was sound asleep.

Donna stopped just outside Josh's door, not wanting to disturb Leo's conversation. Leo looked up and smiled as he waved her into the room.

"He wake up at all?"

"Nope, never even stirred."

"Good, he needs the sleep." Donna sighed as she picked up the damp washcloth from the bed and took it into the bathroom to rewet it.

"He looks so pale." observed Leo as he took the cloth from Donna and placed it gently on Josh's forehead.

"He's looked pale and tired for a while now, it's not just from today. The doctor thinks maybe he's been having mini-strokes for a while now."

"Oh." was all Leo could say. He pulled up a chair next to Josh while Donna curled up in the recliner. "Get some rest, I'll be here in case he wakes up."

"OK." Donna muttered, already pulling a blanket over herself and closing her eyes.

Both Josh and Donna sleep peacefully for a few hours. Leo watched them sleep, read for a while, watched CNN with the sound turned down. Finally he got up around midnight to stretch his legs and find something to eat and drink.

Josh woke up stiff and disoriented a few minutes after Leo left. He tried to call for Donna but couldn't get the words out of his parched throat. The railings on the bed were up and he banged his hand against them. The noise woke Donna from a sound sleep. She leapt out of the chair and put the railing down so she could sit on the bed.

"Josh, honey, what's wrong?" she asked as she brushed back his hair. His fever had broken and his forehead was cool and clammy.

"W-where am I?" he asked.

Donna was a fraction of a second away from pushing the call button when Josh looked at her and the expression on his face changed to show he realized just where he was.

"Hospital?"

"Yeah, the hospital. You remember now?"

Josh nodded his head slowly.

"You want a drink?"

He nodded and Donna raised the head of the bed a little before holding the cup of soda up for him. "Go slow."

Josh drank a little and then curled back up on the bed. Donna took notice of the nice pale greenish cast Josh's face had taken on and she grabbed the pink basin off the table and put it on the end of the bed.

"Josh, sit up and drop your head down...good...take a few deep breaths for me...good." murmured Donna as she stood beside the bed and rubbed his back with one hand and held his head with the other.

Josh moaned a little and pointed towards the end of the bed. Donna pulled the blanket back a bit, grabbed the basin and put it in Josh's lap, just in the nick of time.

She held his head and rubbed his back while he got sick. She shoved a few tissues in his hand and when he handed them back to her she was startled to see that they were red.

"Josh." she cried as she tipped his chin up. She saw red but it didn't look like blood. "What did you have for dinner?"

"Pop-icle." he gasped.

"Red?"

He nodded. Donna let out a huge sigh of relief when she realized he wasn't throwing up blood. She held him tightly when he was reduced to painful dry heaving a few minutes later. When he was sure he was done Josh curled back up on the bed and Donna pushed the button for the nurse. She wiped his face and hands before the nurse got there.

"Hi." said the nurse as she came in the door. "Dinner didn't sit too well, Mr. Lyman?" she asked as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm.

"Josh and no, it didn't. S-scared Donna." he said weakly.

"I didn't know he had a red Popsicle so I kind of freaked, I thought he was throwing up blood." she admitted.

"OK, we can give you something to settle your stomach. Your blood pressure looks pretty good. Let me just check your temperature." she said as she stuck the thermometer in Josh's right ear. "Not bad, 99.7, coming back down. You need a new gown?"

Josh took a quick glance down. "No, I'm ok."

"Good, let me check with the doctor and see what we can give you to make you more comfortable."

"T-thanks."

Half an hour later Leo returned, having missed all the excitement. Josh was almost asleep. Donna was working on her laptop.

"L-leo." said Josh as he struggled to open his eyes more fully and sit up.

"Yeah, it's me. Lie back down." said Leo as he pulled up a chair next to Josh.

Josh, despite his best efforts to try and keep up a conversation, was sound asleep within a few minutes. Leo stayed for a while longer, trying to convince Donna to go back to the farm and get some sleep. When that proved fruitless he kissed both Josh and Donna on their foreheads and headed back to the farm himself.

Josh had a pretty good night all around. He woke up once around 3 in the morning from a nightmare but Donna was able to calm him quickly and get him settled back down without having to call for the nurse. His temperature stayed down and he didn't get sick again.

The sun streaming in the window woke Donna a little after 7. She sat up and saw Josh was already awake. He was flicking through the channels on the TV with the sound muted.

"Morn-ning." he said as Donna sat down next to him on the bed.

She kissed his cheek. "You are you feeling?"

"Better. It's stronger, I think." he said as he held up his right hand and made a fist.

"Good, the physical therapist while be here this morning. He's going to get you out of bed."

Josh groaned a little at the thought. He took a deep breath and curled up on the bed.

"What's wrong?" asked Donna.

Josh just shrugged his shoulders a bit. Donna was about to force the issue when the orderly came in the room with Josh's breakfast tray. Josh raised the head of the bed a little more and sat up. Donna lifted off the top to reveal oatmeal, yogurt, juice and tea. Josh didn't look too impressed with the selection.

"What looks good?" asked Donna, trying to sound upbeat.

"Nothing on there." said Josh with a snort.

"Joshua, you need to eat."

Donna didn't even bother to take the cover off of the oatmeal; she knew there was no way he would eat that. She opened the yogurt and handed Josh the spoon. "You want to try yourself?"

Josh eyed the spoon warily while he tried to decide what hand he would have better luck with. He decided to give the right a shot. He managed to grip the spoon fine for the first couple of bites but he tired quickly and got frustrated.

"You want me to do the rest?" asked Donna as she handed him a napkin.

"Yeah."

Josh finished the yogurt, half the juice and had a little tea. Donna got him cleaned up and with the help of Amy, who had just come back on duty, got him changed into his own pajamas. Josh complained about the IV but Amy explained he needed to eat more and keep more down for it to come out. Donna tried to do something with his hair but gave up when the therapist knocked on the door.

"Come in." called Donna as she ran her fingers through her hair and smoothed down the front of her shirt.

"Hi, Mr. Lyman, I'm Ken Lewis." said the tall, blond man who entered the room. He held his hand out to Josh as both a friendly gesture and a test of Josh's willingness to try and use his right hand. Josh extended his hand slowly and shook it the best he could.

"Please, it's Josh. This is my w-wife, Donna."

"Nice to meet you." said Donna. "Should I stay or would it be better if I got lost for a while?" asked Donna as she gestured towards the door.

"Actual, I do prefer to have you leave for a while, but I don't insist." he said politely.

"I think I'll leave." she said as she grabbed her laptop and her tote bag. She kissed Josh and wished him luck before leaving without looking back over her shoulder.

"OK Josh, first things first, let's raise the bed and sit up all the way. I need you to let me know if you get dizzy or nauseous at any point along the way. You say the word and we can stop for a minute, ok?"