The Pitfalls of Power-Dating

 

 

I truly believe many of my current problems come from the concept of Power-Dating.  You know, having the right person on your arm at the right time.  Working the room while accompanied by one who understands, one who can play the game, walk the walk and talk the talk.  And when two play the game nobody has the right to cry foul, they both know the rules or the lack of rules, as the case maybe. 

 

Power-Dating is safe in a way.  There are very few expectations of each other, except for knowing how to work a room, knowing which fork to use at dinner, the ability to strike up a conversation with a potential donor, stuff like that.

 

It's an occupational hazard within The Beltway.  Everybody does it at least once in a while, no big deal.  Right?

 

Wrong.  Power-Dating certainly has its pitfalls.

 

I've come to the conclusion that Power-Dating can be detrimental to your health.  It sure as hell has been to mine.  In the last few months I've spent way too many hours standing against the wall, dry gulped way too many Advil, spent too many nights pacing the floor as my back aches and my head throbs, spent too many lunch hours staring at the food Donna brings me, unable to get any of it down.

 

All for what?  For the pleasure of having Amy in my life?  Is it really a pleasure at all?  I'm not sure.

 

And so here I am, sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at one in the morning.  Contemplating what to do next, trying to decide how much more of this Power-Dating I can take.

 

It's been a hell of a night.  I haven't felt this used in a long time. I suppose, looking back, that Amy and I should have had some kind of talk when we first starting dating, one where we promised to keep politics out of our relationship.  But then again, without politics, do we really have anything in common?

 

Probably not.

 

So I was used like so much...whatever, as Amy tried to get a woman on the campaign staff.  We had honestly considered some women but they didn't make the short list.  And not because they were women, they just didn't make the damn list.  What can't she understand that? 

 

She thinks she has me wrapped around her little finger, that she can play me like a fiddle, or a fool, I suppose.  But smooth skin or not, I am my own person, with my own beliefs, ideas and values.  And no amount of her charm, and I use that term loosely, will change that.

 

She honestly made me nervous tonight.  And that's not exactly a quality you look for in a girlfriend.  I always feel like I'm on guard, like I have to think before I speak.  I know, not one of my strong suits.  I feel like the anvil is about to turn me into an accordion any minute.  I find myself unable to relax.  Well, most of the time.  I am, after all, only human.

 

I know I'm a fidgety guy, I've always been that way, from the time I was a child.  But when I get around Amy it's worse.  I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.  Usually I'm a touchy feely person, but with Amy it's like I just want to be left alone.  And I'm just saying, but shouldn't you be more relaxed around the person you're dating?

 

I didn't start to relax until I put Amy in a cab and I walked up to the Washington Monument and down the path to visit Abe.  Still not what you would call relaxed.  However, I am sober.  Had one drink and then the little voice in my head told me to change to soda. 

 

Yeah, the little voice sounded suspiciously like Donna, as usual. 

 

So to recap the evening so far---

 

Went to the party with Amy.

 

Donna got shut out of the party for the first few hours.

 

Amy used me to get her information and then went right over my head. I should look in the mirror for footprints on my scalp.  Anyway, she didn't go right over my head to like Leo, she just kept going until she reached Dr. Bartlet. Left a whole trail of footprints in her wake.

 

Amy and Donna got drunk with the First Lady.  That I would have paid good money to see.

 

Donna turned Canadian and then got into the party.

 

Amy called me a jackass, but to be honest I wasn't really paying attention to her at the time.  And my apology was half hearted at best, well, because, I wasn't really sorry.

 

We had cake and Amy left.  I walked over here and Donna...I actually don't know what happened to her after the party.  I'm sure she went back to the bullpen to get some things ready for the morning.  Amy told me the strangest thing about Donna.  I mean, even stranger than her being Canadian.  Something about Donna being brutally honest with Mrs. B.  I think it was the wine talking cause Donna would never do anything like that.  That sounds more like...well, me.  So I chalk that conversation up to Amy being drunk, not liking Donna very much and me being eager to send her on her way.

 

So anyway, as I sit here, I keep musing about this whole Power-Dating thing.  It's all about using people.  Amy's been using me and what's funny is when we first started dating she was so eager to explain how John Tandy wasn't using her.  And maybe he wasn't but I'm sure she was using him for something.  And now she's using me.  But I have this nagging feeling that I'm using her too.  Only I'm not using her for any politically motivated reason.

 

I'm using her as a distraction.  And it's not working, at all.  But for some reason I can't bring myself to break things off completely.  And that's not like me at all.  I mean, I've spent most of my adult life unattached.  It's no big deal.  It's not like I have a lot of time to spend working on a relationship anyway.  Anyone I date would have to have an understanding of this strange life we lead within the Beltway. And finding someone with that kind of knowledge leads to only one thing.

 

Yeah, Power-Dating.

 

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is a vicious circle I seem to have gotten myself into.  And like the hamster I'll probably keep going until something jams in the wheel, causing me to go flying off in a tangent.  Or, better yet, until someone helps me off carefully and points me in a different direction.

 

But I'm not holding my breath for that to happen anytime soon. 

 

I am however actually holding my breath at the moment, as I notice Donna walking towards me.  She's changed since the party and I recognize the sweats she's wearing as my own, the pair I keep in the closet in my office.  And in her hand she's carrying coffee.  I can only hope it's for me.

 

"Hey.  How'd you know where to find me?" I ask as she starts up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

 

"Lucky guess.  You looked like you needed some time alone and this is where you end up most of the time, so I took a chance." she says as she takes a seat next to me and holds out the coffee.

 

"For me?"

 

"For us." she says with a grin as she leans back, putting her elbows on the step above us.  "Amy head home?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"You two have fun tonight?"

 

"Honestly?  Not particularly."

 

"You wanna talk about it?"

 

By the look on her face I can tell she doesn't really want to talk about it, she's just being nice.  So I shake my head.

 

"Good." she laughs as she sits up to take the coffee back.  "So what were you thinking about?"

 

"Uh...the concept of Power-Dating, actually.  See it's when..."

 

"Joshua, I know what Power-Dating is." she says as she rolls her eyes at me.

 

"Yeah, I guess you do."

 

"So is that what Amy is, a Power-Dater, a Power-Datee?"

 

"I think so." I mumble as I lean forward with my elbows on my knees, chin in my hands.

 

"Then you should do something about it Josh." she says as she sits up, leans over and brushes her fingers through my hair.  I flash her a dimpled smile as she pulls her hand away and moves up a step to sit behind me.  With a tug on my coat she sits me up and puts her hands on my shoulders, gently kneading away the tightness for a minute.

 

"So did you have fun tonight?" I ask as I lean into her touch.  The irony of being relaxed under the touch of my assistant but not my girlfriend is one I'm not in the mood to contemplate at the moment.

 

"Well, all things considered, I think so."

 

"I'm glad.  So, before Amy left she told me a strange story about when you were drinking with Mrs. Bartlet.  Something about you, hitting the nail on the head, telling it like it is..."

 

"Oh God," she mumbles as her hands still and she leans forward, resting her forehead against the back of my neck for a second.  "I was really hoping you wouldn't find that out." she groans.

 

"Well, I did," I chuckle.  "So what happened?"

 

"Come on, walk me back to the White House and I'll tell you all about it if you promise not to laugh."

 

"Well, I'll walk you back but I'm not making any promises about not laughing."

 

"Fine." she says as she stands up, pulls me to my feet and we start down the stairs.

 

As I feel her tuck her hand into my arm I have this sudden urge to give up Power-Dating, I think.

 

THE END

 

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