The Port of Indecision

Part 2 Part 9 Part 16

Part 3 Part 10 Part 17

Part 4 Part 11

Part 5 Part 12

Part 6 Part 13

Part 7 Part 14

Part 8 Part 15

May 2017

Part 1

Josh had just finished emptying the last of the dishes from the dishwasher when Donna wandered into the kitchen. She had been making sure the boys were on their way to getting into bed as it was Sunday night and there was school the next morning. Donna put the kettle on for tea and grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet as Josh aimlessly wandered around the kitchen for a few minutes, eventually stopping in front of the calendar that hung on the wall next to the phone.

"One, two, three, four...." Donna counted to herself, ticking off the seconds before Josh realized what the next day was. By the time she got to 12 it was clear to her that he had just figured out it was the anniversary of the shooting in Rosslyn. Seventeen years after that horrific night and a mere glance at the calendar was enough to make Josh's stomach turn and his knees grow weak. "Josh," Donna whispered, as she took him by the arm. As Josh turned to look at her Donna was startled at just how pale he'd become. "Come sit," she suggested as she steered him in the direction of the family room. Josh just nodded and let her lead the way to the couch. "Put your head down," Donna said as she knelt next to him and put her hand on the back of his neck, gently guiding his head down a little. Josh complied silently as crossed his arms over his knees and rested his forehead on them. "Are you going to be sick?" Donna asked as she glanced around for any sort of vessel that might come in handy.

"No, I'm ok," Josh said weakly as he lifted his head a little. "Guess I haven't been paying much attention to the calendar this week," he muttered.

"Don't think your students would like to know that, semester's ending soon," Donna teased.

"Yeah. And I have a ton of stuff to grade before the end," Josh muttered as he sat up. The kettle whistled and Donna left him alone, relatively sure he'd just stay on the couch.

She was right; he was sitting on the couch flicking through the channels at warp speed when she returned a few minutes later. Josh took the mug of tea with a little smile as he stopped the television on CNN and tossed aside the remote. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Josh, do you want to talk about it?" Donna eventually asked a few minutes later as she set aside her tea and curled up facing him.

"No, I'm fine," Josh replied after a minute of contemplating if he really wanted to try and put what he was feeling into words. But at 10:00 on a Sunday night it just seemed like a lot of work and he realized he'd rather just finish his tea and go to bed.

"OK, but you change your mind, I'm here," Donna assured him as she pressed a kiss to his temple.

The subject was dropped and they finished their tea. Josh watched television while Donna worked on the Sunday crossword puzzle. He supplied a few answers in between yelling at the talking heads on CNN and the Mets on ESPN. When the game ended Josh headed off to bed, leaving Donna to sit on the couch and think.

She tossed aside her puzzle and got up to make herself another cup of tea. As she waited for the water to boil again she stood in front of the calendar, just as Josh had done. It was hard for her to believe that night Rosslyn had been 17 years earlier, a lifetime ago. But Josh's scars still remained, both visible and hidden. Although Donna was steeling herself for a rough couple of days she had to admit their lives had been going along quite well for the past few months.

After their pregnancy scare back in February, she'd had her tubes tied, thus ending any lingering thoughts of another child. Although she knew it was the right decision for their family she thought that either she, Josh or both of them would end up having a Lyman "nutty" over the whole idea. But that didn't happen. One chilly March morning Josh accompanied her to the hospital and 8 hours later it was over and they were on their way home, having never looked back or had second thoughts. Work had been going well and she'd been moving up the ranks of Senator Fernandez' staff over the past few years and was currently working directly under his Chief of Staff, a sweet man named David Meadows. Donna knew David was considering leaving the Hill and DC for early retirement in the next few months. She knew she was the obvious choice to take his place but she wasn't sure if she was ready for it. It would of course, mean more responsibility and hours and she wasn't sure if it was the right time for their family. It was something she'd only mentioned in vague terms to Josh as David's plans weren't firm and no date had been set for his departure.

Jake had played basketball during the winter month; and did quite well, the 3 inches he'd grown since the summer before had helped. He was enjoying the 5th grade and was doing very well. Like his father, he had to work hard for every good grade he got but was succeeding despite his less than enthusiastic view of school. He and Josh were getting along well. The comments Jake had once enjoyed muttering under his breath were fewer and less often. His 11th birthday was fast approaching and Josh was taking him, along with Jessie and a few of his friends to DC to see the Nationals play the Mets.

Jessie had decided that basketball, or any team sport for that matter, just wasn't his "thing". He was a little on the short side for his age and had inherited the Lyman tendency to be a little clumsy. But despite that tendency, he did quite well on the skateboard and just loved to scare Josh with his newly learned tricks. For the past few months he'd taken piano lessons and was showing some real progress. Jessie was a straight A student who, much to his brother's annoyance, didn't seem to need to study at all. Still very much Josh's shadow, Jessie enjoyed spending as much time as he could with his father. It didn't matter what they were doing, Jessie was content to sit in Josh's study and read while Josh worked at his desk. The two of them loved to go to the bookstore together and wander around DC.

For the most part, Josh had been doing great since late summer. The procedure he'd had done in July seemed to have worked just fine and he had no problems with arrhythmia since. His blood pressure held steady at the high end of normal and he had managed to put on about 10 much needed pounds since the fall. His doctors were thrilled with how things were going. Even his therapist had mentioned the week before that he thought Josh could cut back a little on the frequency of his appointments. Although Donna was going to make sure that less frequent didn't turn into once in a great while. The only thing Donna could think of that gave Josh any sort of problem recently was his hip. Although he had used the cane regularly since the stroke four years earlier, he relied on it more in the past few months, leaning heavily on it more than usual. He didn't talk much about it and Donna didn't push but she knew he had an appointment with Jill at the end of the month and hoped he would see fit to mention it to his doctor. He was finishing up the spring semester at George Washington University and looking forward to the summer off. He'd taught the same 4 classes each year for a few years and was getting a little restless doing so. He thought it was time for a change but didn't exactly know what he wanted, if he wanted different classes, fewer classes or something else. Like Donna, he hadn't mentioned the possible change in his job status.

And then there was Ben. He was almost done his second year of law school and happily engaged to Annie. It was a balancing act for Ben, between his studying, helping out Josh, Donna and the boys and spending time with Annie but he'd been doing it for long enough that it was just the way life was for him. He had the ability to sneak in some reading and studying during all sorts of things, Jake's practices, Josh's medical appointments, sitting in the car waiting for the boys to get out of school and any other time he could find a spare few minutes. Annie's own practice was going well and she was very understanding when Ben spent a good deal of their time together with his nose stuck in a book.

Donna finished the crossword puzzle a little before 11. She set her empty mug in the sink and turned off the light. Josh was sound asleep, long arms and legs taking up nearly every inch of their bed. She brushed her teeth and scooted him over enough to climb into bed and curl up next to him.

****************

Part 2

To Donna's surprise, Josh slept through the night. She had figured that with his realization of the date, a nightmare would certainly disrupt their night. But when she woke up at 5:30 the next morning Josh was curled up in a ball, sound asleep. She brushed a kiss over his forehead and crept out of bed, letting him get a little more sleep.

"DAD, it's time to get up!!" Jessie yelled from down the hall about an hour later.

"Jessie, I said to wake him nicely," Donna called back from the kitchen as she turned on the coffee maker and poured some juice for the boys. Jessie went quietly into his parents' room; although there was no need to, his earlier yelling had woken Josh up.

"That was waking me nicely?" Josh snorted. Jessie just shrugged his shoulders and jumped onto the end of the bed. Josh bit back a groan of pain as Jessie's landing on the bed sent a sudden jolt of pain through his hip.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly as he got a look at Josh's face.

"It's ok. Let me up so I can take a shower," Josh said as he tossed back the covers. Jessie headed back down the hall towards the kitchen and the smell of the pancakes Donna was making. Normally she didn't have the time to cook breakfast during the week but she figured she would go in a little late that morning, after spending a little time with Josh and hopefully making sure he wasn't too likely to have a "nutty".

Josh seemed fine during breakfast and made no mention of the date. Donna shuttled the boys out the door at 7:30 and went to grab her shoes out of the bedroom. Josh was sitting in the overstuffed chair in the corner of the bedroom staring off into space. Donna cast a quick glance at her watch to see how much time she had to play "20 Questions" with her husband to get him to talk. She had about a minute and a half so she put on her shoes and perched on the arm of the chair for a minute. Josh turned towards her and put his coffee mug on the nightstand. "I'm fine," he said with a weak smile.

"OK," Donna whispered, not quite sure she believed him but as she had a busy day ahead of her she didn't have much choice. "Meet me for lunch?" she asked as she kissed Josh's cheek.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Josh replied as he picked his coffee back up. Donna tapped her watch to remind him of the time and she left the room without glancing back. Josh drained the mug and dragged himself slowly to his feet to get dressed, cursing the pain and stiffness in his hip. He got ready and he and Ben headed for school a little after 8:00.

At 11:15 Josh bid goodbye to the last of his students and headed back to his office to brood for a while before he met Donna for lunch at 1:00. He tossed his backpack on the chair after extracting the papers he'd just collected from his class. He started to flip through them but realized there was no way he was going to give them his full attention and that wasn't fair to his students. So he rubber banded them together and set them back in his backpack. He flicked on the television to read the CNN crawl and grabbed a bottle of Snapple out of the fridge tucked in the corner of the room. He went to lean back in his chair and put his feet on the desk when a jolt of pain shot through his hip and down his leg. He managed to put the bottle on the desk before he dropped it on the floor as he hopped up to try and walk through the pain. The pain did lessen fairly quickly and Josh sat back down at his desk, feet firmly on the floor. He flipped through the mail he'd pulled out of his faculty mailbox earlier. In the stack of papers was the usual, end of semester letter asking how things were going and if he was interested in a change for the next semester. Josh usually just checked the box saying he was happy to continue what he was doing and sent it back without so much as a second thought. But as the pain in his hip calmed down to a dull throb he tossed aside his glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily. For the first time in a long time, he found himself feeling a little lost, like he didn't quite know what direction he was going in at the moment. While he loved the classes he taught and judging by the waiting list for the each semester, so did the students, he was still getting restless. Trouble was, he didn't really have any idea what he wanted. He supposed he could talk to Jerry Blake, the head of the Political Science Department and see about switching around some classes. He turned on the computer and emailed Jerry's secretary to ask for an appointment to get in to see Jerry later in the week, figuring he should probably talk to Donna before making any life altering decisions.

As he relaxed and drank the iced tea Josh thought about his options, vague as they were. He could teach different classes, drop one or the other and only teach one in the fall semester, or give up teaching completely. He wasn't sure he was ready to do that, only because then that would leave him unemployed and bored. Money wasn't really an issue that would play into his decision; he and Donna were very well off. He'd gotten a sizable inheritance when his mother died and he'd been smart over the years with investing and such. There was money set aside for the boys to attend college and plenty for Josh and Donna to retire on. Not to mention the fact that Donna still worked and Josh couldn't exactly see himself sitting around on the porch swing for the rest of his life, he was sure he'd bring in some money. He could always start accepting the numerous invitations he received monthly for speaking engagements. Thanks to some articles he'd written for GW's newspaper, The Hatchet, Josh had also received some requests for monthly articles in a few small periodicals. It wasn't something that he'd given any great thought to, until Sam happened to read something he'd written and was quite impressed.

At any rate, a long conversation with Donna would be the starting point in his decision making.

A few minutes after noon Josh tossed the empty bottle in the trash, used the bathroom and gathered up his things. He left a message on Ben's phone telling him he didn't need a ride home later. With a weary sigh he hoisted his backpack on his shoulder and turned out the light. Josh had planned on hopping onto the Metro and taking it over to the Capitol but it was a fair distance from the station to the Capitol itself and his hip was already protesting as he left his building so he hailed a cab instead settling back in the seat for the ride. He glanced out the window as the sights of downtown DC went by. He usually found the familiar sights comforting but for some reason that just didn't happen that day; the various sights just seemed to make him all the more confused about what to do.

The more Josh thought about it, the more he realized he probably shouldn't be thinking of making such an important decision during the month of May. With the large exception being Jake's birthday, the rest of May didn't hold good memories for any members of the Lyman family. The month marked the anniversaries of the shooting, the deaths of Josh's mother and Delores Landingham and his stroke 4 years earlier. Josh's therapist, Tom, was always telling him to make sure he was in the right frame of mind before making a decision. And Josh thought maybe it was time to listen to Tom.

"Which side?" the driver asked as the got closer to the Capitol.

"By the Reflecting Pool is fine," Josh muttered as he pulled some money out of his pocket. When the cab stopped he tossed the bills to the driver and got out. A quick glance at his watch let him know he still had almost half an hour before meeting Donna. He knew he could always go up and hang out in her office to wait but it was a beautiful spring day so he sat on the ledge that surrounded the Reflecting Pool to weigh the pros and cons of all his options, vague as they were.

Twenty minutes later, the only thing he'd accomplished was giving himself a headache so he grabbed his cane and headed to meet Donna. His hip protested the first dozen or so steps and he made a mental note to call Jill later to see if he could move his appointment up a little. He didn't think he'd be able to make it through another two weeks until the appointment he'd scheduled months earlier.

**************

Part 3

As Josh rounded the Reflecting Pool, Donna stepped out of the Capitol into the bright May sunshine. She put on her sunglasses and gazed out over the steps and the lawn hoping to pick Josh out of the crowd. It wasn't exactly hard to do; there weren't too many men with graying hair, backpacks and canes walking along talking to themselves. She called to him so he wouldn't attempt to climb the steps. Judging by the way he was limping along, that was a good idea. "You're walking like you're eighty," she said as she stopped in front of him. While her tone was serious, she softened her statement by gently reaching out to rub his right hip for a minute. "You need to call Jill," she said as Josh flinched.

"I know. I'll call her when I get home," Josh promised as he took Donna's hand. Then without speaking their preference they both walked in the direction of their favorite little coffeehouse a few blocks from the Capitol. They sat outside, under an umbrella to protect Donna's alabaster skin. They ordered, tuna sandwich for Donna, grilled chicken for Josh. He'd been trying to watch what he ate since his bout with high blood pressure induced arrhythmia back in the summer. For the most part he was eating pretty well.

Josh was a little on the quiet side, which wasn't too unexpected. Knowing him as she had for twenty years, Donna knew something was on his mind, yet something told her not to push. It wasn't the day to push Josh to talk about anything. So they ate in relative silence, chatting only about a few incidental things, nothing of great importance. Josh didn't eat all that much but Donna let it slide; it wasn't the day to get on his case about anything. She was just happy he wanted to go out to lunch. She'd had visions of him locking himself in his study and brooding all day. Something that had happened on more than one anniversary of the shooting.

As Donna sipped the last of her iced tea she glanced at her watch, she needed to get back to work. "I have to get back. Stay and finish your coffee," Donna said as she picked up her purse. She tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned over to kiss Josh goodbye. Josh watched as she crossed the street and headed back to the Capitol. He pulled his newspaper out of his backpack and ordered another cup of coffee and a piece of pecan pie. Almost an hour later, after the waitress had checked on him for the third time, Josh packed up his newspaper, finished his last sip of coffee and paid the bill. Not surprisingly it took him a minute or so to get his bearings before he was able to start walking. He'd recouped a little energy while sitting and eating so he walked to the Metro Station. As he did he called Jill's office and left a message. He could have just tried to get a new appointment with the receptionist but he wanted to actually talk to Jill.

Two blocks from home his cell phone vibrated against his hip. "Hello," he said as hiked his backpack high onto his shoulder.

"Josh, it's Jill. What's up?"

"I, uh, I have an appointment in two weeks and I wanted to see if I could move it up a little," Josh muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Josh, what's up?" Jill asked again.

"Been having trouble with my hip."

"How much trouble, Josh?"

"Well, Donna just told me I was walking like I'm eighty," Josh sighed as he stepped off the curb to cross the street. A groan escaped his lips as pain shot through his hip.

"Josh, you ok?" Jill asked, starting to get more than a little concerned about her patient. Josh wasn't a big complainer in general and had a fairly high tolerance for pain. His wanting to bump up his appointment was a red flag in her mind.

"Just stepped off the curb," Josh explained as he turned onto his street.

"Give me a minute to check my schedule and I'll call you right back." Jill ran out to the front desk to check her appointment schedule for the next day while Josh limped up the front steps. He settled down on the porch swing with a sigh. He turned sideways a little, stretching out his right leg along the back of the swing. The cell phone vibrated a few minutes later, just as Josh's eyes had slid closed. Without opening them he reached and pulled his phone from his belt.

"Hello."

"Josh, it's Jill."

"Hey," Josh replied with a weary tone Jill picked up on right away.

"Can you come in first thing tomorrow morning, about 7:30?"

"Yeah, sounds good. I don't have class until the afternoon. I'll bring breakfast," Josh offered.

"OK. I'll see you then. Take it easy. Try Tylenol and the heating pad."

"I will. Thanks."

"See you in the morning."

Josh flipped his phone closed and relaxed for a little while, letting his eyes close and his mind wander until the sound of the Jessie calling from down the street brought him back to the present.

"Hey Dad," Jessie said as he climbed the steps and tossed his own backpack on the floor next to Josh's. He sat down on the swing, careful of Josh's leg.

"Hey buddy. How was school?"

"Good. Got 100 on my Social Studies test," Jessie answered proudly.

"Great job," Josh said with a smile. "How much homework do you have?"

"Not much. Can I have a snack?"

"Yeah and then get your homework done. Mark will be here at 4:30 for your lesson."

Jessie slid off the swing and grabbed his backpack. Josh followed him into the house a minute later. Jake arrived home just as Jessie was finishing up his math homework. Josh put a bag of popcorn in the microwave for Jake and pushed start as the phone rang. It was a little female caller, asking for Jake. As he turned bright red, Jake took the phone from his father and disappeared into the family room.

"Who was that?" Jessie teased when Jake came back a minute later.

"Melissa, she wanted to know what we had for Science homework," Jake said as he took the popcorn from the microwave. He settled down with his own homework as Josh picked up his backpack and headed for the study.

"Jake, Jessie has piano in an hour. Either go up to your room or go outside when Mark gets here."

"OK Dad," Jake answered around a mouthful of popcorn. He watched as Josh limped down the hall. His usual feeling of annoyance at any of Josh's physical limitations didn't make an appearance and he was kind of worried about Josh as he'd noticed his limp was worse than usual.

After he took some Tylenol, changed his clothes and found the heating pad, Josh settled down on the leather couch in his study to glance at the papers he'd collected from his class that morning. He first went through to make sure everyone had handed something in, and for once that was the case. He started to read them but didn't get very far as his eyes grew heavy and his concentration waned. He put aside the papers and set his glasses on the end table. Reaching into the pocket of his backpack he pulled out his iPod and settled back against the arm of the couch, trying to get comfortable. As he felt himself start to drift off, he pulled the heating pad out from underneath him and tossed it on the floor.

The sound of someone knocking on the door to his study woke Josh with a start about 20 minutes into his nap. "Dad, Mark's here. I'm going down the street to play basketball," Jake said as he poked his head in the room. "You ok?" he asked as Josh struggled to sit up and gain some sense of time and space.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Josh tried to assure him, even though he felt far from "fine". "Go, have fun, be home in an hour".

"OK," Jake called over his shoulder as he turned down the hall.

Josh took a few deeps breaths and tried to stretch a little in an effort to reduce some of the pain in his hip. He smiled at the song Jessie was playing, he couldn't quite come up with the name but it was a little ditty Joanie used to play on the piano when they were kids. Josh put his papers on the desk and put on his glasses to go out to the kitchen to start dinner. As the sounds of Jessie's piano playing filled the kitchen, Josh rummaged through the freezer in search of a container of spaghetti sauce and meatballs he knew was hiding out in the back. He put it in the microwave to thaw and pulled some things out of the refrigerator to make a salad. The pain in his hip from leaning over and pulling things out of the crisper was bad enough that he tossed everything on the counter and sat down for a minute, carefully putting his right foot up on one of the chairs. As the microwave beeped, Josh heard the front door open and Donna's voice ring out, "I'm home".

"In here," Josh called back as he stood up carefully and crossed the room to take the container of sauce out of the microwave and dump it into a pot. Donna watched from the doorway, trying to gauge Josh's general mood. He turned away from the stove and gave her genuine smile before limping towards her. "I'm going to see Jill first thing in the morning," he said, before giving Donna a chance to ask.

"Good. Where's Jake?"

"Down the street. Mark and Jessie should be done soon," Josh said, answering her next question. "Hey what are you doing home so early?" Josh asked as he took a glance at his watch. Donna just ignored his question as she picked up the spoon to stir the sauce. "Ah, came home to make sure wasn't in the middle of a nutty?"

"I suppose," Donna said as she held her hand out to him. Josh fell into her embrace, breathing in the familiar comforting scent of her perfume and shampoo. "You ok?" she asked as Josh sighed.

"Yeah, I think so," he answered as he took a step back from Donna.

"Good. Why don't you let me finish dinner and you can go take a warm shower, see if it helps your hip," she suggested as she slipped off her suit jacket and set it over the back of one of the chairs.

"OK. The check for Mark is on the desk in the foyer," Josh said as he turned to leave. The phone rang when he was halfway down the hall. "I'm not available," he called over his shoulder.

It was Jed on the phone, calling as he always did on the anniversary of the shooting. Donna assured him Josh was more or less fine and he would call him back later. In the half an hour Josh was in the shower, CJ and Toby also called, just checking in as they did every year on that particular date. Donna had talked to each of her friends as she finished getting dinner on the table. She paid Mark, listened to Jessie play a few songs and yelled down the street for Jake to come home.

Josh came out for dinner looking a whole lot better than he had less than an hour earlier. The boys didn't remember the significance of the date and their parents didn't see the need to bring it up. As the shooting had happened well before the boys were born, they lacked a point of reference for the whole thing, other than the scar on Josh's chest. Jake had been told more and had a better understanding of what had happened that night but it wasn't something he thought about all that frequently.

"Jake, your turn to clear the table," Donna said as her curly haired son attempted to escape the room. He groaned a little but stopped as soon as he got the "evil eye" from his mother. Ben arrived home just in time to help himself to the leftovers before Donna had a chance to put them away. He sat at the kitchen table with a big bowl of spaghetti in front of him and his nose in a textbook, the typical way he ate dinner when he wasn't actually sitting down with the rest of the Lyman family.

"Dad, we don't have any ice cream," Jessie called to Josh who was in the family room watching CNN.

"And....ice cream is a God given right that you're being denied?" Josh snorted as he flicked from CNN to ESPN.

"Dad," Jessie whined from the archway between the kitchen and the family room. Josh gave a quick glance at his watch.

"Did you finish your homework?" Josh asked.

"Do I look like Jake?" Jessie teased with a roll of his eyes.

Josh just gave a little glare in his direction. "See what Mom's doing; see if she feels like running out to Rita's for water ice."

Jessie didn't say anything; he just took off in the direction of the backyard where Donna was doing a little weeding before it got too dark.

"Let me guess, this was your idea?" Donna asked Josh with mock exasperation a minute later as she stood before him with dirty hands and hair flying all over the place.

"Uh, yeah," Josh said sheepishly. "I don't think I can make it," he said as he motioned towards his leg. Rita's wasn't all that far but it did involve walking more than a block and a half, something Josh was in no shape to do. "OK, tell the boys to give me ten minutes. You want anything?" Donna called over her shoulder as she walked into the laundry room to wash her hands in the laundry tub.

"Citrus Blast, Watermelon, or Root Beer, whatever one they have."

Josh flicked through the channels and talked to Toby and Jed while Donna and the boys were out. Ben had a paper to write and had locked himself in his room to get to work on it. When Josh heard the front door open he hauled himself off the couch and went to get his water ice.

"Citrus Blast," Donna said as she handed him the bag. Josh took it and sat down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. He took a big bite and his face contorted into a grimace as he gave himself "brain freeze". Donna just shook her head at him and went to bring Ben's Misto shake to him.

By the time the boys were in bed and he had talked to everyone likely to call Josh was fading fast. Donna found him half asleep on the couch in the family room. "Josh, honey, come to bed," she said as she held out her hand to help him to his feet. Donna led him down the hall and steered him in the direction of the bedroom before checking on the boys and turning out the light. Josh brushed his teeth, striped to his boxers and all but fell into bed.

As Donna changed into her pajamas and set the alarm, Josh tossed and turned in an effort to get comfortable. "Roll over, I'll rub your hip for you," she suggested as she settled down next to Josh. With a sigh, Josh shoved the pillow under his head and rolled over onto his stomach. Despite trying not to, he flinched as Donna pushed down the back of his boxers a little. "Sorry," she whispered as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. With a light touch and some soothing words, Donna got Josh to relax and fall asleep fairly quickly.

So much for the "nutty" she was sure Josh would have had sometime during the day. Although the "day" was over they still had to make it until the morning. And so she got a glass of water and a couple of Tylenol, preparing for the nightmare she thought might come.

Surprisingly, it never did.

************

Part 4

Josh walked into Jill's office at 7:35 the next morning carrying two cups of coffee and two bagels. "Jill," he called out as he stepped into the waiting room.

"In my office," she yelled back as she tossed Josh's chart on her desk and walked out into the hall. She watched as Josh walked towards her, trying his best to both walk normally and not spill anything. He held out the coffee for her; she took it and put it on her desk before giving Josh a quick hug and her customary "once over". Except for the obvious limp he looked pretty good, not too skinny, no dark circles under his eyes. "Have a seat," she said as she motioned towards the chair in front of the desk. She took a seat in her chair as Josh pulled the bagels out and handed her one. As they usually did when Josh came in for an appointment, they talked about nothing in particular while they ate. "OK, so what's up," Jill asked as she crumpled up the paper from her bagel and tossed it in the trash can.

"Having a lot of trouble with my hip," Josh said as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"So you said. But a little more description would be helpful," Jill teased as she picked up a pen. "Pain, stiffness, what?"

"It's always been stiff, at least for the past 17 years," Josh snorted. "Much more pain in the last month or so, especially if I've been still for a while."

"You, still for a while?" Jill said, echoing Josh's snort.

"Funny. It takes me a while to get going if I stand up after sitting for a while."

"OK. Is it an ache, dull throb, stabbing pain?" Jill asked trying to get a better handle on what was going on.

"Pain when I first start to move, pretty much a dull throbbing by the end of the day."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, it's weird, it feels like the hip joint just clicks or freezes sometimes. Does that make any sense?"

"Actually is does. What have you tried for pain relief?"

"Tylenol helps a little, sometimes the heating pad works, I guess a warm shower helps," Josh said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"OK, you ready to go in?" Jill asked as she took the final sip of her coffee. Josh just nodded and slowly got to his feet. "Walk to the end of the hall and back, as normally as possible," she said as she stood in the doorway to the exam room. She watched as Josh walked favoring his right leg more than she had ever seen him do, even right after the stroke. "OK, go ahead in and drop the pants. There's a sheet on the end of the table. I'll be right in," Jill said as she motioned for Josh to go ahead in. She went to the back room and got the necessary supplies to draw some blood before he left.

"You're taking blood?" Josh whined as she came back in and deposited everything on the counter.

"Before you go, yes," Jill explained as she pulled her stethoscope from around her neck. Josh unbuttoned his plaid shirt as she warmed up the end against her shirt sleeve. She listened to his heart and lungs, finding nothing out of the ordinary. His blood pressure was even pretty low, for him. "Lie back," she said. Josh flinched as she poked and prodded his hip a little. Then she had him stand while she poked and prodded some more. "OK, sit down and roll up your sleeve," she said as she turned to grab the syringe and the rest of the supplies. Josh put the sheet over his lap and rolled up his left sleeve. With practiced ease, Jill found a vein on the first try and filled the two vials quickly, before Josh even had a chance to turn pale. "Why don't you get dressed and meet me in my office," Jill suggested as she took the blood vials and Josh's chart with her. She stopped the front desk to talk to her assistant who had just arrived for the day.

"So what's the verdict?" Josh asked as he took a seat in her office 5 minutes later.

"Well, tentatively we're going to go with osteoarthritis, barring anything strange showing up on the blood work. I want you to have some x-rays done and I'll give you a prescription for an anti-inflammatory drug, something that shouldn't bother your stomach too much, but I'd take it with food it I were you. Still going to physical therapy?" she asked.

"Once a week, in fact I blew it off to come here," Josh replied with a grin.

"Good. Do you spend any time in the pool there?"

"Once in a while."

"OK, I want you to do more in the pool if you can, more stretching, less weight bearing. Do you do anything at home?"

"Not really," Josh answered sheepishly, knowing he should be doing something at home in the way of exercise.

Jill just raised her eyebrows at him to let him know she wasn't pleased with his answer to that question. "Try a little stretching," she suggested as she pulled out a couple of pamphlets from a stack on the credenza behind her. Josh took them and shoved them in his backpack without looking at them.

"Whatever you do, don't push yourself. If the heating pad and hot shower don't work, you can try ice. Sometimes ice works better if there's actual pain; heat tends to work for stiffness and aching. Keep the appointment you have in two weeks. Sue's calling to see if you can get into the radiology place next door, before you go to work," Jill said as she opened up Josh's chart and wrote down a few notes. Josh was silent for a few minutes. "Any questions?" Jill eventually asked when she closed the chart and looked at her patient.

"I guess not," Josh muttered as he shrugged his shoulders.

"OK, if you have any problems just call me here or at home. I'll see you in two weeks," Jill said as she glanced out into the hallway and saw her first official patient being escorted to an exam room. "Gotta get to work."

"Thanks," Josh said sincerely as he gave Jill a quick hug.

"Thanks for breakfast," she called over her shoulder as she went to work.

Sue was able to get Josh into the radiologist so he walked over as it was right next door. He called and left a message for Donna and one for Ben telling him that he would just hop on the Metro and take it to school.

An hour and a half later Josh limped out of the radiologist's office, went across the street to fill his prescription and headed towards the Metro station. Being flat on his back on the hard x-ray table had wrecked havoc on his hip and his back so he was in a rather foul mood by the time he got to his campus office. He still had a few hours before class so he took a pill, turned off the lights, locked the door and stretched out on his couch. Luckily he had enough forethought to set his watch alarm, as twenty minutes later he was out cold.

An incessant beeping in his right ear jolted him awake at noon. He pulled his hand out from under his head and blindly shut off the alarm. He tentatively stretched his legs out for a minute, trying to gauge how much difficulty he was going to have getting himself up off the couch. He decided he didn't feel too bad. He put his glasses on and flicked on the television to catch the headlines while he woke up completely. His stomach growled and he decided it was time to get up and walk over to the Student Center to get something to eat. He could have picked the faculty dining room but he found it rather stuffy and he much rather preferred to eat with the crowds of students. That and it was a shorter walk to the Student Center.

He grabbed a slice of pizza, a copy of the Hatchet and staked out a table in the corner. He ate, flipped through the paper and did the crossword puzzle, all the while glancing around at the students milling about. The looked so young to him, the memories of his college days seemed centuries old, not decades old. In seven years, Jake would be one of those college students, it was hard to believe, time was flying by so quickly.

With a sigh and a slight limp, Josh headed off to class.

************

Part 5

Three hours later and one more class behind him, Josh headed back to his office to wait for Ben to come and drive him home. He took some things out of his backpack and shoved in some others, flicked through the television channels and listened to his voice mail. There was a message from Jerry, asking if they could move their meeting up to the following afternoon, instead on Friday. Josh called back and left a message with his secretary letting her know that would be fine. Trouble was, Josh hadn't exactly talked to Donna about the way he'd been feeling like he was ready for a change. Now he had less than 24 hours to figure out what he wanted and talk to his wife.

As his hip was feeling ok at the moment he got up to pace around a little. Ending up turned towards the wall behind his desk he came face to face with his diplomas on the wall, all in matching oak frames. Yale, Harvard and his PhD in Public Policy and Administration from GW. He smiled as he remembered all the nights he sat with his laptop next to Jake's crib trying to get his papers written. Jake was just a few months old when he'd started back to school. Going back for his doctorate wasn't something he had ever planned on doing but when he decided to take an adjunct teaching position at GW, the time just seemed right. Donna was home with Jake and that gave him plenty of time to both work and go to school.

"Josh, you ready to go?" Ben asked from the doorway where he had been watching Josh stare at the wall for a few minutes. Josh just turned and nodded. "You ok?" Ben asked as he flicked off the television.

"Yeah, I think so. Are you doing anything tonight?"

"I was going to try and catch up on my reading. Why, do you need help with something?" Ben asked curiously as Josh shut the door behind him.

"I need to talk to Donna about something."

"I can take the boys out to eat and then to the library, we can all do our homework," Ben offered. "Everything ok? This isn't about the appointment with Dr. Conners this morning is it?"

"No, not really," Josh said, offering no more information than that. Ben didn't ask anymore questions and the ride home was spent in silence.

The boys were already home when Ben and Josh arrived. They were shooting hoops so Ben parked the car on the far edge of the driveway so they could continue. Given the fact that their backpacks were sitting on the grass and the front door was closed it was obviously they hadn't been in the house yet. "So which one of you forgot your key?" Josh asked as he climbed out of the car.

"He did," Jake and Jessie both said at the same time. Josh just laughed and climbed the steps to unlock the front door. The boys followed quickly muttering something about dying for a snack and having to use the bathroom.

Josh called Donna to let her know of their plans. She was more than a little intrigued by Josh's vague statement that he had something to talk about. Like Ben, she was afraid that Jill had given him some bad news earlier in the day. But he assured her that was not the case. Donna was going to ask if he wanted to come back into the city to go out to dinner but the weary tone of his voice stopped her from doing so.

By the time Donna got home a little after 6, Ben and the boys had already left. The boys had conned Ben into dinner at the ESPN Zone and then convinced him that he could get his reading done at the big Barnes and Noble store, conveniently located right next door to the restaurant. Josh had groaned when he realized just how much the evening was going to cost him. He handed money to Ben for dinner and gave the boys enough so they could each get a book and a drink at the bookstore.

Josh was on the porch swing, enjoying a rare bottle of beer when Donna pulled into the driveway. She smiled at the sight of him waiting there for her. He was still wearing the clothes he'd worn to school but his shirt tails were hanging out, his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows and his shoes were long gone. With his cane, Josh stopped the swing as Donna hit the top step. She gave him a quick kiss and stole his beer as she kicked off her own shoes and curled up next to him.

"So what's up?" Donna asked as she handed the bottle back to Josh and snuggled against his side.

"I don't even know where to start," Josh sighed as he brushed his hand over her blond hair.

"How about you start with what happened at Jill's this morning. Your message wasn't exactly informative," she pointed out as she took the beer back.

"Barring anything strange showing up on the blood work, looks like a basic case of arthritis. Gave me a prescription and some suggestions for exercises at PT. Had some x-rays done and I go back in two weeks. She said to try ice if the heat doesn't seem to work."

"OK, so how is it feeling now?" Donna asked as she moved her hand from Josh's knee and rubbed his hip.

"Sore from too much poking and prodding," Josh sighed.

"Sorry," Donna said, pulling her hand away.

"You weren't poking and prodding," Josh said with a big dimpled grin. Donna snaked her hand under Josh's shirt and ran her hand down his side.

"How was school?"

"Good, I guess. Just wasn't in the mood for it today."

"Too much poking and prodding before you got to work?" Donna guessed with a laugh.

"I suppose," Josh said quietly. His sudden change in tone and demeanor let Donna know she was about zero in on what was bothering him.

"Josh, talk to me," Donna said as she sat up a little to look him in the eye. "What's the matter?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly as he fidgeted with his cane. The look on his face told Donna he wasn't lying; he really didn't know what was wrong. And if she was going to try and help him to figure it out, she was going to need food and more comfortable clothes.

"It's ok. We'll figure it out," she said, using much the same tone she used with the boys. She got to her feet and held out her hand to help Josh up. "I'm hungry and need to change out of these clothes," she announced as she pulled him into the house.

While Donna went to get changed, Josh grabbed another beer for them to share, found the menu for their favorite pizza place, and in case Donna wasn't in the mood for pizza, he also grabbed the one for the Chinese place. Josh curled up on the chair in the corner of their bedroom to wait for Donna to get out of the bathroom. It was one of his favorite brooding places, right up there with the steps in front of the Lincoln Memorial but it was much more practical in the dead of winter or in the middle of the night.

"You can pick," Josh said as he handed her the menus. She waved off the menus and picked up the phone to order a mushroom pizza and a Caesar Salad. She curled up next to Josh after hanging up the phone, careful to sit on the arm of the chair and not fall into his lap and risk landing on his right leg. She brushed back his hair and planted a soft kiss of his forehead, lingering for a minute as he wrapped his arms around her waist and held on tight. "I don't know what's wrong," he repeated as he dipped his head down, tucking it beneath Donna's chin.

"Getting a little antsy or bored with teaching?" she guessed as she lifted his chin to look him in the eye.

"Something like that, I guess. I have an appointment with Jerry tomorrow afternoon about next semester and I honestly don't know what to tell him. Part of me says just go ahead and teach the same classes I did last fall," Josh said, his voice trailing off.

"And the other part of you?"

"Doesn't know if I want different classes or no classes at all. I think I need a break," Josh muttered with a shrug of his shoulders as he backed into the far corner of the chair, suddenly finding the pattern on his plaid shirt fascinating.

"Joshua, look at me," Donna urged as she lifted his chin up again. "What's this really about?" she asked, truly believing that there had to be more to the story. Josh just shrugged his shoulders. What he was really feeling was honestly nothing he could put into words at that moment. "It's perfectly understandable if you need a break. You've been teaching for over ten years, give or take a few semesters. Is it...is it that you can't handle it?" Donna asked quietly, not sure how to broach the subject, or even quite what she meant by her question. She cringed at how mean the question actually sounded when said aloud.

"Handle it how?" Josh asked, apparently not bothered by how the question came out. "Physically, mentally, emotionally?"

"Yeah, pick one...or two...or three," Donna said as she rubbed his back.

"I guess there's some physical part to it."

"But your hip is a new thing. I mean, sure you've limped and used a cane for years but it's never really slowed you down. This is something new. Give it time. The semester is almost over, you have the whole summer to deal with it and get some rest."

"I know," Josh sighed.

"But like I said, if you want a break, you are more than entitled to it. Financially, you could retire now and never work again, we'd be just fine," Donna pointed out.

"I know," Josh repeated. "But..."

"But what?" Donna asked, pressing for an answer or at least for some more information.

"But...I don't know," Josh sighed as he pushed himself up to stand. It was clear to Donna that they were getting nowhere fast. Tired and hungry wasn't exactly the best state for Josh. Add in confusion and pain and things were bound to quickly spiral downward.

"Why don't you change and I'll get some plates and stuff out for dinner," Donna suggested. Josh agreed with nothing more than a slight nod in her direction.

************

Part 6

The pizza guy was just pulling into the driveway as Josh came down the hall. He heard Donna open the front door and chat for a minute with the driver, who was the older brother of one of Jake's friends from school.

"Tim's going to Harvard next year," Donna said as she set the pizza and the salad on the counter.

"Tim?" Josh asked.

"The pizza guy, Michael's brother," she said as she opened the pizza box.

"Oh," Josh muttered as he grabbed a bottle of beer out of the fridge. He looked at Donna before opening it. They'd already shared two beers and he wanted to see if she was going to get on his case about opening another.

"Share," she said with a slight warning tone in her voice. She handed Josh a plate with a slice of pizza and a serving of salad which he took without complaint. He sat down at the kitchen table and reached for the remote to the television. The glare he got from Donna caused him to put the TV remote back and pick up the one for the CD player mounted under the cabinet. He hit play and the sound of an old Bruce Springsteen tune filled the room. They ate for a while in comfortable silence, enjoying the relative peace and quiet.

"So what would you do?" Donna asked as she reached for the beer before Josh had a chance to finish it.

"Huh?" Josh asked, clearly not really paying attention to her.

"If you quit your job, what would you do?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe take up knitting or marathon running," Josh smirked as he got up to grab another slice of pizza.

"Josh," Donna said in a tone that told him she was looking for a serious answer, for a serious conversation.

"I don't know. I know I can't just sit around here all day. I'd have a "nutty" in no time," he smirked before his face turned serious. "I can always lecture more. If I took every offer I got I'd be busy 5 nights a week."

"True, although I'm not sure how well you'd do with that," Donna said, not wanting to dash his hopes, but instead wanting to keep him looking on the realistic side. An occasional lecture was fine and he enjoyed them. But to put in him in a crowded room 5 nights a week wasn't a good idea. Add in traveling and he would be headed for big trouble in less than a month.

"I know how well I'd do," Josh muttered. "Disaster of epic proportions," he said with a grin.

"Well, at least you know your limitations," Donna said, returning the grin. While her tone was teasing there was an edge of seriousness to it. Over the past 9 months Josh had grappled with and come to some pretty healthy conclusions about what he was and wasn't able to do, physically, mentally and emotionally. Donna was very proud of him for the decisions he'd made and the way he accepted help more readily nowadays.

"I was thinking of writing," Josh said as few minutes later as he stabbed the last piece of romaine lettuce on his plate. He shoved it into his mouth, waiting for Donna's reaction.

"Writing what?" she asked curiously.

"Don't know. I still have a couple of open offers to write for a few magazines. The kids at The Hatchet are always asking me to do something."

"Sounds good."

"Really?" Josh asked. He was surprised at the calmness of the whole situation. He hadn't been sure what to expect but this wasn't it.

"Josh," Donna said as she tapped on his right knee to get him to put his foot up in her lap. "I just want you to be happy. If you want to take the fall semester off, that's fine with me. If you want to quit teaching altogether, that's fine too. It's not like we're depending on your salary to eat. We're fine if you never work again. Why don't you make a decision about the fall semester in the next few days? Then you can have the summer off, just as you always do. If you find that you're completely bored to tears you can find something else. You're marginally employable," she teased as she rubbed his foot and leg.

"Yeah, 30 years of political experience and degrees from Harvard, Yale and George Washington ought to get me something," Josh snorted.

"Even if that last degree was just for show," Donna teased.

"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted it so my students could call me Dr. Lyman. And you know what?"

"They all call you Josh?" Donna guessed, knowing her husband didn't even like to be called "Mr." Lyman. Not even by the kids in the neighborhood.

"Yeah, they all call me Josh," he said with a dimpled grin. "Let me up and walk for a minute, before I get too stiff." Donna gently set his foot down and helped pull him up to his feet. Josh walked around for a minute, cleaning up the remains of their dinner and putting on a kettle of water for tea. Donna threw a load of laundry in the washer and added a few things to the shopping list on the refrigerator while they waited for the water to boil. As had been the norm for a month or so, by evening the pain in Josh's hip that came and went during the day, had decided to stay. Donna watched from the archway as Josh leaned against the counter and absently rubbed his hip.

"Why don't you go start the water in the tub? Soak and relax for a while in the peace and quiet. The boys will be home soon," Donna suggested as the look on Josh's face gave away the fact he was rather uncomfortable.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Josh agreed as he pushed himself away from the counter and grabbed his cane from where he'd hung it on the handle of the silverware drawer. "Join me?" he called over his shoulder as he headed down the hall.

"Sure," Donna called back as she turned off the stove and poured the water for their tea. By the time she got to the bathroom Josh had already started the water, lit a few candles and dumped in a generous amount of cranky baby bubbles. The smell of the lavender and vanilla filled the air. Donna smiled at the sight of Josh standing there in his boxers, checking out his ever receding hairline in the mirror over the sink. "Stop messing with it before it all falls out," Donna teased as she wrapped her arms around him from behind. She rested her chin on his shoulder and her eyes met his in the mirror. She pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder as she unwrapped her arms from around him and slid her hands down to ease his boxers over his hips. Josh put a hand on the vanity to steady himself as he kicked the boxers aside and turned around to "help" Donna out of her shorts and t-shirt. She stepped into the tub first and held out her hand to Josh to help him over the side. "Front or back?" she asked.

"Front."

They settled down in the tubful of bubbles in the candlelight, enjoying the rare moment of peace and quiet in the house. Donna could feel Josh start to relax as the water got deeper and he sank lower and lower until the bubbles nearly touched his chin. He inhaled the scent of the bubbles and melted into Donna's embrace. They watched the candlelight dance across around the room and just enjoyed the moment.

"You ok?" Donna asked a while later as she reached around Josh to add a little more hot water.

"Yeah, I think so. Still a little confused, tired and downright scared, but yeah, I'll be ok," he said with a laugh.

"Whatever you decide, you know I'll support you."

"Yeah, you'll have to support me, if I retire," Josh laughed as he pulled Donna's arms around him just a little tighter.

"I think we'll be able to scrape by," Donna teased as she unwrapped her arms and reached for her tea. She handed Josh his mug and he took a few sips before handing it back. "Feel any better?" she asked as she ran her hand over his hip. Josh stretched his leg out a little.

"I think it's a little better. The heat helped."

"Good," Donna whispered as she pulled him back a little further, running her hands down his thighs.

"Yeah, I think I'm up for a little fun," Josh said as he squirmed under her touch.

"Really?" Donna purred in his ear.

"Yeah, I think I'm up for it," he teased as he looked down at the dissipating bubbles.

****************

Part 7

Donna was already in the shower by the time Josh woke up the next morning. He crawled out of bed and threw on his bathrobe. By the time he had picked the newspaper off the front porch and poured himself a cup of coffee, Josh had made his decision. He went back into the bedroom; apparently Donna was taking her own sweet time in the shower so he knocked once and went into the bathroom. "Save some hot water for me," he called as he slid up to sit next to the sink. Donna opened the shower door and stuck out her tongue at him. "Or I could come in and we could conserve the hot water," Josh suggested as he waggled his eyebrows over his coffee cup.

"Sorry, just getting out," Donna teased as she turned off the water and reached to grab a towel.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," Josh grinned as he slid over a little so Donna could see in the mirror.

"So, come to any conclusions?" she asked as she reached for a comb. Josh just nodded as he put down his coffee and took the comb out of her hand. Donna turned around and Josh carefully eased the comb through her wet hair. "So are you going to share any of those conclusions?" she asked with a laugh.

"I'm going to resign," he replied quietly, stopping mid comb. Donna reached behind and pulled the comb out of her hair and his hand. When she turned around she saw the uncertainty and sadness in her husband's eyes. She gathered Josh into her arms and gently rubbed his back.

"It's the right decision. It'll be fine," she said quietly, hoping to reassure him even though at that moment, she could use a little reassuring herself. "I understand," she whispered as she kissed his cheek.

"How can you understand?" Josh whispered back with a little laugh. "I'm not sure I understand," he muttered as he extracted himself from her embrace.

"After 20 years, you still haven't figured out that I know you better than you know yourself," Donna teased as she reached out to pick Josh's chin up and look him in the eye. Josh gave a little grin and shrugged his shoulders. Donna kissed him softly and steered him towards the shower.

At 2:00 that afternoon, Josh walked out of Jerry Blake's office into a light spring rain. He dug his umbrella out of his backpack and opened it up to head to the Student Center to grab a cup of coffee. His meeting with Jerry had gone well. Jerry didn't seem too surprised at Josh's resignation; he could tell that Josh was getting restless and ready for a change. He assured Josh he would always be welcome to return and they talked about the possibility of Josh doing a lecture or two in the Fall.

Josh took a seat in the Student Center with his coffee and a chocolate muffin. He tried to call Donna but she was in a meeting so he left a message with her assistant Megan. He sat and did a little "people watching” while he sipped his coffee and picked at the muffin. A couple of students stopped by to talk for a few minutes but quickly went on their way.

Twenty minutes before he was supposed to meet Ben at his office, Josh headed out into the rain, which had been picking up in intensity over the past hour or so. As he walked across the courtyard on his way to his office he had mixed feelings about the decision he'd made. Deep down, he was pretty sure it was the right one but that didn't keep him from feeling a little sad and even a little lost. By the time he reached his office he was cold, wet and his hip was protesting every step. All he wanted to do was to go home, take a hot shower and spend some quality time with Donna, the boys and the Mets game on cable.

That's just what he did.

The next week and a half flew by in a blur of finals for Josh's students and Ben, baseball practices for Jake and some late nights at the office for Donna. For Jessie, there had been a class trip to the American History Museum, chaperoned by his father, and an afternoon in the city with Donna, consisting of a trip to the eye doctor and lunch with Senator Fernandez.

The members of the Lyman family weren't the only ones with things going on. Zoey and Charlie Young welcomed the newest addition to their family on the day Josh resigned. Henry Joshua Young weighed in at a nice 8 pounds even and was adored by his parents and his siblings, Eddie and Sophie. Josh and Donna took the boys over to see the baby the day after Zoey and Henry gave home. Jake gave Zoey a quick kiss and the baby an even quicker glance before heading outside to shoots baskets with Eddie. Jessie, on the other hand, was completely enthralled by the baby. As Josh held his namesake, Jessie sat next to them, staring at Henry and running his hand over the boy's dark curls. He was beside himself when Josh handed him the baby to hold. Donna snapped a few pictures, one which currently resided on Jessie's nightstand. While Josh and Donna both admitted that the baby was adorable, holding him did not cause either of them to rethink their decision not to try and have any more children.

Josh was doing well on the new medication and it seemed to be helping a little, although Jill had warned him that it might take a while for him to get the full effect. He took her suggestion about trying ice instead of the heating pad and that had helped too. The only thing he hadn't done, and he was sure Jill would get on his case about, was do a little stretching at home. Donna had not gotten on his case about it and that surprised him a little but he was sure she was just waiting for the right time to start bugging him.

With school done, Donna was worried Josh would be thrown into the full-force brooding for which he was known. But that hadn't seemed to be the case. He kept busy, going to therapy, reading and hanging out at his favorite coffee shop downtown. One bright, clear morning he hopped on the Metro and took it to Arlington Cemetery to place flowers on the grave of Mrs. Landingham. It was something he did every May, always first thing in the morning and always alone. He used to make a yearly trip to the Neweum too, but when it was moved to a new location a few blocks from the Capitol he stopped visiting the sight of the shooting. He'd been to the other location a few times, mostly with boys and their class trips but it didn't hold the same meaning or horror for him, it was just another place to visit.

So Josh was easing into his new life, although so far, nothing was really different from any other May in recent Lyman family history.

On Friday morning Josh's hip was feeling pretty good so he walked Jessie to school and headed to Jill's office for his follow up visit. Donna had wanted to come along but Josh declined, reason being that if something was really wrong, Jill would have called them personally. Josh picked up coffee and bagels, because when the appointment was first thing in the morning, it was his job to supply the food.

"In my office," Jill yelled when she heard Josh come in the front door. "OK, I'm a little short on time so let's cut to the chase," Jill said a few minutes later, after she'd finished half her bagel.

"OK," Josh said, starting to get a little worried.

"Josh," Jill started with a laugh. "Nothing really bad, I'm just backed up this morning," she assured him. She reached behind her and grabbed the envelope with his x-rays in it. "Follow me," she said as she picked up her coffee and headed for an exam room. Josh followed dutifully, despite Jill's assurance that nothing was really wrong he was starting to get more than a little nervous. "Have a seat," Jill said, motioning towards the exam table, while she flicked on the light board. She stuck the x-rays up and turned to Josh, finding him pale and looking more than slightly uneasy. "OK, I guess we'll get your blood pressure at the end of the visit," Jill teased as she put her hand on his knee. "Josh, take a deep breath and let's look at the x-rays."

"OK," he said, swallowing hard. Jill just rolled her eyes a little at him and shook her head.

"First of all, your blood work was fine, nothing out of the ordinary. But the x-ray shows some, for lack of a better word "junk" floating around in the hip joint."

"Junk?" Josh asked as he pushed his glasses up further on his nose and leaned closer to the x-ray.

"Cartilage and other "floating bodies" as they are called. That's what causes the clicking and locking you complained about. And all that stuff floating around causes inflammation and pain, your basic cause of arthritis. How's the new prescription working out?"

"Seems to be helping I guess," Josh said.

"Give it a few more weeks. Been stretching at home?" Jill asked, pretty sure she already knew the answer. Josh just shook his head. "Not what I wanted to hear. What I expected, but not what I wanted," she said with a warning in her voice that made Josh cringe inside.

"So what happens if the drugs don't work?" Josh asked as Jill flicked off the light and reached for the blood pressure cuff. He held out his arm, wincing a little as she pumped up the cuff.

"Good," she said as she tugged to release the Velcro. "If the drugs, and the stretching, don't work or if things get worse, arthroscopic surgery is always an option."

"Surgery," Josh whined.

"First of all, you're not at that point. Secondly, the surgery is not invasive. We'd make a few small incisions, insert a camera and go in and clean out the "junk". For most people, it's day surgery."

"But for me, I don't suppose it would be day surgery," Josh said with a smirk.

"Probably not. But like I said, you are not at that point. We're going to give it at least a few months. Follow my instructions, all of them," she warned with a poke to Josh's chest. He laughed and crossed his heart. "By the way, your blood pressure was the lowest it's been in over a year," Jill added with a smile. "Watching what you eat?" she asked as she gathered up Josh's chart and his x-rays.

"Trying to," Josh said as he slid off the exam table.

"Good," Jill said as she glanced at her watch. "If we don't see any improvement in a month or so, I'll set you up for an appointment with a orthopedic friend of mine. And now, I have to run. Keep in touch; let me know how things are going."

"I will," Josh said as he headed out of the room.

"Oh, wait," Jill called as she stepped into her office. She came back out a few seconds later with a gift bag. "This is for Jake. Tell him I said "Happy Birthday"."

"You didn't need to get him anything, but thanks," Josh said as he headed for the waiting room and Jill headed to see her next patient.

************

Part 8

Jake was up at the crack of dawn on Saturday. Although his birthday was actually Sunday, Saturday was the day Josh was taking him and a few of his friends to see the Nationals play. The game wasn't until 5:30 that night but Jake was too excited to spend one more minute in bed. By the time Donna got up, Jake had already eaten a bowl of cereal, watched two shows on television and read the sports page.

"Up a little early today," Donna teased as she went into the kitchen to start the coffee maker. It was a little after 8:00 and Josh, Jessie and Ben were still all asleep.

"Too excited to sleep," Jake muttered as he reached for a banana out of the fruit basket on the counter.

"You do realize, you're not leaving for the game for like another 7 hours," Donna teased as she pulled a coffee mug out of the dish drainer and took the milk out of the fridge.

"Where's Dad?" Jake asked.

"Sleeping," Donna replied as she glanced at the front page of the paper.

"Still?" Jake whined as he bit into his banana.

"Jacob, it's 10 after 8 in the morning. Your Dad had a long week and he didn't sleep well last night," Donna replied as she hunted in the pantry cabinet for the corn flakes.

"He's not sick is he, we don't have to cancel do we?" Jake asked, his voice nearing the panic stage.

"No," chuckled Donna, "I assure you, Dad is just fine. Now go find something to occupy yourself until your brother gets up." Jake slid off the stool and headed to the family room. Donna laughed to herself, she wasn't about to tell Jake that the reason Josh was so tired involved massage oil, candles and some really good sex. There were some things an about to be 11 year old did not need to hear about his parents.

By 9 Josh was the only one still left in bed. Ben had gone out for a run with the boys following him on their bikes and Donna had just thrown a load of laundry in the washer. She heard Josh head into the bathroom so she poured him a cup of coffee and stuck a bagel in the toaster for him.

"What service," he muttered as he came into the kitchen a few minutes later to find breakfast waiting for him, complete with the newspaper by his place at the table.

"Don't get used to it," Donna yelled from the family room. "Since you're, you know, unemployed, I expect to be waited on from now on," she teased as she came into the kitchen. She crossed the room to drop a kiss on the top of Josh's head. He pushed the chair back a little and pulled Donna into his lap to give her a proper, coffee flavored, kiss good morning.

"Where are the boys?" Josh asked as minute later as Donna stood up and sat in her own chair so he could eat.

"Ben went to run and they followed him on their bikes. Jake was up at the crack of dawn this morning. When you were still sleeping at 8 he was getting worried you were sick. I assured him you were just fine."

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little worn out. Someone kept me up late last night," Josh smirked as he picked up his coffee cup.

"Yeah, and you're completely innocent," Donna snorted as she got up to go take a shower. She ran her hand through Josh's hair as she passed him by. "Take it easy today," she suggested as she headed down the hall. Josh thought about making a comment about how he "wasn't an invalid" but truth was it was probably going to be a rough night at the game. By dinner time he was usually fading and his hip throbbing. But the baseball game was something Jake had been looking forward to for weeks and there was no way Josh was going to disappoint his son.

Donna kept the boys occupied by having them help her in the yard. If they'd been left to their own devices, they'd be asking "is it time to leave" every ten minutes during the day. Jessie weeded the flower beds with Donna and Jake dragged the outdoor furniture out of the garage, hosed it down and set it up on the deck.

With the house relatively quiet, Josh finished grading all his papers, logged onto the school's computer system and posted the grades for the semester. He grudgingly sat on the floor in the family room, with CNN droning on in the background while he attempted some of the stretching exercises Jill had suggested. While he felt like a complete fool sitting on the floor and doing them, he had to admit some of them actually felt pretty good.

After a late lunch and a rather firm suggestion from his wife, Josh took some Tylenol, grabbed the ice pack out of the freezer and stretched out on the couch in his study. Since he'd slept late, and hadn't actually done much during the morning, he didn't sleep but rather flicked through the television channels a few times and read for an hour or so.

"I thought you were going to sleep," Donna said as she poked her head in the study a few minutes before 3.

"Not tired. But I swear I've been off my feet for an hour and half," Josh said as he tossed his book aside and scooted over a little to give Donna room to perch on the couch next to him. "Where are the boys?" Josh asked as she sat down and leaned over to plant a kiss on his forehead.

"Jake is in the shower upstairs and Jessie's in our bathroom."

"In the tub with bubbles and singing at the top of his lungs, no doubt," Josh mused with a smile on his face.

"Well, he is your child," Donna snorted.

"So what are you doing while we're at the game?" Josh asked as he sat and took off his glasses to rub his eyes for a minute.

"I'm meeting Margaret for dinner and gossip."

"Girly stuff," Josh teased.

"Of course. Why don't you go change and I'll see what I can do about dragging Jessie out of the bathtub," Donna suggested. Josh nodded and let Donna pull him to his feet. When she was satisfied Josh was steady on his feet, she handed him his cane and left to head down the hall.

At 4:45 Josh, Jake, Jessie, and two of Jake friends, Michael and Scott all piled out of the minivan outside RFK Stadium. Josh walked to the driver's side to kiss Donna good bye while the 4 boys waited impatiently on the sidewalk. "OK, let's go," Josh announced as he waved one last time to Donna. He and the boys headed for the main gate of the stadium.

The excitement of the four boys, the general atmosphere of the stadium and the beautiful spring night all added together and amounted to a very enjoyable evening for all. Josh's hip didn't give him too much trouble at all, the boys were well behaved and the Mets beat the Nationals 8-1 much to the disappointment of Jake and his friends and the delight of Josh and Jessie.

While the "boys" enjoyed the game, Donna went out for dinner with Margaret. They hadn't had a chance to just go out and dish in quite a while and they both enjoyed it immensely. Donna told Margaret of Josh's decision to resign his teaching position, asking her to keep the news to herself as they hadn't really told anyone yet. Donna wanted Josh to call Leo and Jed and tell them himself, before they heard it from somewhere else.

Thanks to cotton candy and soda all the boys, including Josh, were hyped up on sugar and caffeine by the time Donna picked them up at the ballpark. But somehow they still managed to convince her to stop for ice cream on the way home. The ride back to Bethesda was rather loud with the boys singing at the top of their lungs to the radio. At a red light, Donna stole a glance at Josh who was curled up in the passenger's seat, he had a look of tired contentment and it made Donna smile.

Donna settled the boys into their own booth at the ice cream place and slipped into a nearby booth with Josh, who was happy for a little relative peace and quiet. The night was quickly catching up to him and he propped his head up in his right hand. "Besides being tired, are you ok?" Donna asked, as she reached across the table to grab his hand.

"Just a little headache from too much noise," Josh admitted as he tossed his glasses on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose. Donna pulled a small bottle of Tylenol out of her bag and handed him two which he took gratefully and swallowed with the water the waitress had just placed in front of him. "Thanks," he muttered as he turned his attention towards the menu.

It was almost midnight by the time they'd left the ice cream place and dropped off Michael and Scott. Jessie had fallen asleep in the car and Josh was not far behind. Donna was about to go in the house and ask Ben to come out and carry Jessie in when Jake woke his brother with a smack to the back of his head. The glare he earned from his mother sent Jake into the house to get ready for bed rather quickly. Donna led Josh into the house and deposited him in the chair in the corner of their room, before locking up and checking on the boys one last time.

Jessie, predictably, was sound asleep by the time Donna checked on him. He'd managed to kick off his shoes before crawling into bed but beyond that, he was fully dressed, including his beloved Mets hat. Donna carefully pulled it off and brushed back his blond curls before dropping a kiss on his forehead and covering him up with the plaid quilt.

Jake was brushing his teeth and logging onto AOL on the laptop that had arrived a few days earlier, a gift from Jed, Abbey and Leo for his 11th birthday. Josh and Donna had tried to talk them out of such an expensive gift but as was expected, they didn't succeed. "Jake, it's late," Donna reminded him as she picked up the shorts he'd just tossed on the floor. Standing in front of the computer in striped boxers and a white t-shirt with toothpaste on his chin he looked like a blond version of his father.

"I just want to check my mail," he said as he walked into the bathroom that separated his room from Jessie's. He got a drink of water and wiped his face before returning.

"Quickly," Donna warned. Jake nodded and gave her a quick kiss goodnight before opening his mailbox, presumably to check for email from Janie.

"They asleep?" Josh asked when Donna came back downstairs. She had quite expected Josh to have climbed in bed and fallen asleep in the ten minutes she was gone. But he was right where she left him, curled up in the chair, looking out the window.

"Jessie crashed and Jake is quickly checking his email," Donna replied as she pulled her shirt over her head and reached for a nightshirt out of the drawer. "Go brush your teeth and get into bed," she suggested as a Josh tried to hold back a massive yawn. He pushed himself out of the seat and padded barefoot to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, everyone was sound asleep for the night.

**************

Part 9

Sunday morning dawned with a light spring rain but by mid-morning the weather had cleared. Jake and Jessie, along with what seemed like half the neighborhood played basketball in the driveway for hours, stopping only long enough to inhale the hot dogs and hamburgers Josh had cooked on the grill.

By early evening the kids had headed home and Jake and Jessie came in to get ready for dinner. As was tradition in the Lyman house, the birthday boy got to pick where they went out to eat. Jake chose his favorite pizza place in town. Dinner was nice, just the 4 of them as Ben had gone to Annie's for the night.

When they got home Donna ushered the boys inside and made sure they got ready for the week ahead, placing their backpacks by the door, having her sign any necessary permission slips and checking the lunch menu. Josh stayed on the front porc