The Price of a Secret
I can't sleep. I've tried for two
hours. Abbey wanted to give me a
sedative. I felt that, given our current
circumstances, having her medicate me in any way wouldn't be a good idea right
now. Besides, I didn't want it.
I don't hear anything out in the hall.
When Abbey dragged me into the bedroom almost 2 hours ago they were
still out there. I tried to send them
all home. They had managed to move from
the living room. Didn't get very far,
they camped out in the sitting area outside my bedroom.
Leo, Margaret, CJ, Toby, Josh, Donna, Sam, Ainsley, Carol, Ginger and
Bonnie.
We mourned together for a while. As
an empty crystal cookie jar sat on the coffee table in the middle of the
room. Empty like out hearts. We finished the cookies in a tribute of
sorts.
I guess they all went home, or at least back to their offices.
Sleep is nowhere in sight, so maybe a walk around the building. Just have to sneak out of bed without waking
Abbey...easier said than done.
Almost to the door.
Damn.
You would think that the door to the Presidential bedroom would open
without squeaking.
Made it.
Glancing out into the sitting area I notice that quite a few people are
still here.
Josh and Donna are asleep on one couch.
She's got her head in his lap; his arm is wrapped around her
protectively.
Toby's at the other end, asleep with an unlit cigar in his hand.
CJ is on the loveseat, her long legs tucked awkwardly under her.
Sam and Ainsley are asleep on the floor, side by side, sharing a blanket.
Leo is on the remaining couch, still in his shoes and his tie.
With the exception of Donna, the rest of the support staff had enough
brains to go sleep somewhere more comfortable.
Not that I really expected Donna to leave Josh's side. She knows my secret now. She's one of *us* now. And for Josh's sake, I'm glad.
It's eerily quiet. They only sounds
are 6 people breathing and Leo snoring.
The cookie jar sits where Leo placed it hours ago. On the coffee table. It sparkles in the moonlight. Maybe I should move it, put it somewhere
else. But where?
I was going to wander around anyway; I'll take it back to my office.
With shaking hands and an empty heart I pick it up off the coffee
table. I'm sure my agents are thinking I
must have gone insane. After all, I,
Josiah Bartlet, leader of the free world, am walking around the White House in
pajamas and slippers, carrying an empty crystal cookie jar.
As I slowly make my way over to the Oval Office the cold hard truth is hard
to ignore. I haven't been able to tell
anyone yet. I can scarcely admit it to
myself.
It's all my fault...
The secret that I have kept for 8 years has cost one of my closet friends
her life.
I still can't believe she's gone. My
secretary, my verbal sparring partner, my conscience, the monitor of my food,
the baker of my cookies and most of all, my friend.
Delores was on her way back here. To
show off her new car. I was going to
kick the tires, tease her about paying sticker price and most importantly I was
going to confess my deepest, darkest secret.
A secret that is starting to have a very high price. A higher price than I had ever imagined.
I feel like my world is falling apart, shattering, like crystal.
The office is quiet and still, too quiet.
The door to her area is open.
I feel both drawn to and pushed away from her desk. It was just hours ago that we stood there,
doing what we did best, sharing verbal jabs, teasing each other.
The desk is the same way she's left it every night since we started
here. Completely and utterly
organized. Not a thing out of place,
except for the cookie jar. I'll fix
that....
There, it's back where it belongs.
We'll leave it there. At least
until someone else moves into the desk.
I can't imagine another person sitting out here.
For my own sake I need to tell her my secret. I know she's watching me. Sinking down into the chair I stare at the
crystal jar. The moonlight shining
through it is making patterns on the desk, the walls, the ceiling.
Delores, I know you can hear me...I can't begin to apologize for what I
have done...I have to tell you something...the reason I asked you to come back
here...I've been keeping a secret...
THE END
