The Loyalty of Faithful Friends
We pledge the loyalty of faithful friends. United, there is little we
cannot do in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided, there is little we can
do—for we dare not meet a powerful challenge at odds and split asunder.
John F. Kennedy
Inaugural Address, January 20,
1961
********************
The look on Jed's face as I put the napkin in his lap is nothing short of
heartbreaking. While Jed Bartlet isn't a
big man by any stretch of the imagination he looks so, so small right now. He doesn't look like one who is always
"king of whatever room he's in".
He looks like terrified, humiliated, exhausted and old, all at once.
"Try not to spill anything down the front of my shirt," he says,
trying to tease me a little and ease some of the tension that's threatening to
overtake the room.
"I'll try my best, sir," I assure him as I move a chair closer so
I can sit down.
"Milly, you're spoon feeding me my dinner, please don't call me
sir." While his tone is teasing
there's a seriousness in his eyes I can't ignore.
We make a few aborted attempts at a conversation while I get him to eat
something. He manages to get down about half of what was on the tray. If I had to guess that was probably the first
thing he's eaten all day. His eating
habits haven't improved much from his college days 40 years ago.
"I'm going to grab my bag. Will
you be ok by yourself for a minute or should I send someone in?" I ask as
he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
"Where in the hell am I going to go?" he smirks with just a hint
of a twinkle in his eye. I just wink and
head out the door. I somehow manage to
make it to the other side of the plane, grab my bag and return to Jed's office
without being spotted by CJ or Toby. I'm not sure how that happened but I'm
glad it did.
"Nobody stopped you on the way?" Jed asks when I literally return
no more than 3 minutes later.
"Surprisingly, no." I answer as I turn the overhead light on and
reach into my bag. "So the eye
thing's been going on for how long?" I ask with my best eyebrows raised,
"you'd better start talking now" glare.
"You've talked to Abbey," he sighs.
"Jed, you asked me to go on a trip to China
with not much notice. Of course I called Abbey to find out why."
"Oh, I suppose I should have thought of that. Anyway, the eye, I don't know 5 days or
so. Vision is coming back slowly. Pain's almost gone, just bothers me at night,
when I'm tired," he admits. I take
a quick look and don't see anything to panic about. He said his vision is improving and like most
MS symptoms, it will take a while for it to resolve completely. A quick check of his heart and lungs and I
don't find anything remarkable, not that I really expected to.
"So now what?" he asks as I toss everything back in my black bag.
"Rest and if there's no improvement in the next few hours, some IV
steroids." He just nods; he knew
what my answer was going to be. And he
also knows that arguing will serve no useful purpose. "So, do you want to rest here or go back
to the bedroom?"
"Here is fine," he answers as he hitches his chin towards the
couch. "Help me up."
I help him to his feet and steer him in the general direction of the
couch. He sits down awkwardly and swings
his legs up while I grab a pillow and a blanket.
"Where's the remote?" he asks as he glances around a little.
"No way, no television. You
need sleep Jed. I mean it," I warn him as I lean over to slip off his
shoes and stick the pillow under his head.
"Does everything on this plane have the damn seal on it?" I
tease as I shake out the navy blue blanket with the Presidential Seal blazoned
on the middle of it.
"Well, I don't think it's on the toilet paper or....or the....maybe it
is on everything else," he says with a goofy grin. I chuckle a little as I kneel down next to
the couch. I loosen his red tie and undo
the top two buttons of his blue dress shirt.
"Do you want that off too?" I ask as I point to his watch.
"Please. And could you do
something with my hands? I look like I'm
ready for the damn coffin," he mutters as he looks at his hands folded
together on his chest. I tuck his right
arm next to him, leaving his left hand on his chest, although I do uncurl his
fingers a little so they don't cramp up.
"I'm going to talk to CJ, Toby and Kate. They need to know what's going on." I wait for the complaining to begin but much
to my surprise it doesn't. And I have to
admit that a little disconcerting. I was
sure he would put up a fight about it.
He nods his approval and closes his eyes, effectively ending our
conversation. "There's an agent outside, yell if you need
anything." He just nods a little
and I get up to leave. As my hand
touches the doorknob I hear him whisper, "Thank you." I lean over a little and he opens his eyes,
tipping his head back enough to look at me.
"You're welcome. Now
sleep," I urge him as I lean over and plant a kiss on his forehead.
I step out into the hall and glance at the agent as I head to find CJ, Toby
and Kate. I think about how, when I got
up this morning, I had planned on working half a day and finishing up my
Christmas shopping. Now I'm on Air Force
One caught right in the middle of the biggest Presidential medical crisis since
Rosslyn.
******************
Well, that conversation went about as well as I had expected. CJ's about to freak out, Toby's having
trouble wrapping his mind around the whole concept and Kate was level headed in
the face of a crisis. I peek in on Jed,
who is surprisingly asleep. CJ goes to
get a call put through to Abbey while I wander back to the family cabin where
my bags were put when we boarded the plane.
I kick off my shoes as I collapse into a chair waiting for the phone
call to be patched through. It rings a minute later and I take a deep breath
before I answer it.
"Millicent Griffith."
"Dr. Griffith, the First Lady for you," the disembodied, clipped
military voice announces.
"Thank you." I brush the
hair out of my eyes as I wait for the connection to be completed.
"Milly, it's Abbey. What
happened?" she asks, not bothering to actually greet me. That's ok, I understand completely.
"He has some numbness in his hands."
"Both of them?" she asks and I can almost hear the medical wheels
starting to turn in her head.
"Yes. Apparently he had some
trouble with the right earlier today.
Don't think he bothered mentioning it to anyone." Abbey's silent for a few seconds and then I
hear her mutter "jackass" under her breath. For as long as I've known them, that's been
her favorite thing to call Jed when she's annoyed with him.
"What's he doing now? Holding
the pen between his teeth trying to sign something?" she snorts out of the
frustration at being thousand of miles away and unable to help him right now.
"He's sleeping on the couch in his office."
"Did you talk to the flight surgeon yet?"
"No, I told Jed I would give him a few hours to show some improvement
before I alerted everyone. I did talk to
CJ, Toby and Kate so they know what's going on."
"I should have never let him get on that plane."
"Abbey there was no way you were going to stop him. We both know that. He knew what was happening and wanted to
shield you from it. That's why he asked
me to go."
"I know," she sighs.
"And I'm glad you're there.
I guess there's nothing I can do from here. Keep me posted and if anything changes I
don't want to find out about it on CNN.
Been there, done that," she sighs.
"I'll call in a couple of hours," I promise before hanging
up. I'm at a loss over what to do right
now. I'd like to go check on Jed again,
maybe even just hang out in his office while he rests but somehow that just
feels a little odd. I've known Jed for
over 40 years. And I'll admit at one
point I had quite the crush on him when I was a junior in high school and my
brother brought him home from Notre Dame.
Sure, he was a short nerdy guy but I found him appealing, maybe because
he didn't treat me like my brother's kid sister. But that didn't really matter because
eventually I introduced him to my best friend, Abbey.
Anyway, I'm not sure if there's some sort of protocol surrounding a
sleeping President.
Screw it, I don't care. I pick up
something to read and head back to Jed's office. I just nod and smile politely at the
agent. He says nothing as I go in. Jed stirs a little from the light streaming
in the room but he doesn't really wake up.
I sit at his desk and turn on the small lamp, giving me enough light to
read by but not enough that it'll disturb him.
I get about four or five pages into the book when I get the distinct
feeling I'm being watched. I look over
towards the couch and I see Jed's eyes are opened. "Hey."
"Keeping an eye on me?" he asks, slurring his words a little as
he's not quite awake.
"Yes sir," I say as I kneel next to the couch and pick up his
left hand. "So, how are you
doing?"
"Don't call me sir," he says, stalling for a few seconds to give
him a chance to decide if things have improved.
"Things are the same," he eventually admits.
"It's ok," I whisper as I pat his shoulder. "Try to get a little more rest. If nothing changes in the next hour we'll
find the flight surgeon and talk about options.
OK?" He just nods and closes
his eyes again.
I read for a little while, until I'm sure he's fallen back to sleep. I leave him alone and go off in search of a
cup of coffee. There seems to be a
little more movement around the plane.
People scurrying along the corridor, talking on the phones and in
general, looking busy.
"Excuse me, Ma'am," someone calls me.
"Hey CJ. What's up?"
"Is the President asleep?" she asks nervously.
"He was a little while ago."
"Oh. Uh, something's happening
and I really need him to make a phone call," she explains with an almost
apologetic tone in her voice.
"You can wake him. I want to
check on him anyway. Come find me when
he's off the phone."
"Yes ma'am. Thank you,"
she mutters as I roll my eyes at her.
"Milly is fine," I remind her.
I really dislike being called ma'am.
******************
"MILLY," I hear CJ yell all of two minutes later. I scramble to my feet and break out into a
dead run towards Jed's office. By the
time I get there it's quite crowded. CJ
and Kate are both standing over the couch, a big burly agent is in the doorway
and another one is standing by Jed's desk.
Not far behind me is Toby and someone I don't recognize immediately but
my best guess would be that he's the flight surgeon.
"OK, everybody out," I say as diplomatically as I can. Everyone looks at Jed for his reaction. He just nods and they leave. The flight surgeon, who according to his name
badge, is Lt. Col. Hamilton stays, which is fine with me, I have a feeling I'm
going to need a little back up.
"Jed, what's wrong?" I ask as I flick on the overhead light
before kneeling next to the couch. He's
incredibly pale and shaking slightly. I
brush my hand over his forehead, finding it a little cool and clammy.
"I can't move," he whispers as his voice cracks.
"OK, don't panic," I tell him.
I realize that sounds like a pretty dumb thing to say but it was the
first thing that popped into my mind.
"Arms and legs are all numb?" I ask as I pull the blanket off
and toss it aside. He just nods. I turn to the flight surgeon who hands me my
black bag. I can tell he wants to just
jump in and take over but he doesn't. I
fumble around with one hand looking for a stethoscope as I rub Jed's shoulder
in what I can only hope is a reassuring gesture. "How's your breathing?" I ask as I
warm up the end of the stethoscope.
"It's fine," he mutters as I take a quick listen to his heart and
lungs.
"OK, the flight surgeon's here.
I'm going to step out while you talk to him." I think I've done
enough to trample all over protocol. I
may be the Surgeon General and Jed's friend of 40+ years, but on Air Force One,
it's the flight surgeon who is in charge.
"Stay, please," he almost begs.
I sit on the arm of the couch by his feet as he and Lt. Col. Hamilton,
whose first name I learn, is Dennis, talk.
Jed admits everything that's been going on. He doesn't hold anything back and Dennis is
doing his best not to look shocked at everything Jed is telling him.
"OK, Mr. President. We're going
to need to move you back to the infirmary."
"I can't just stay here?" he whines in a very unpresidential
tone.
"Jed," I say in my best warning voice, the one usually reserved
for my kids.
"Fine. But could we clear the
hallway a little? I don't want half the
plane staring at me," he says. The
big, burly agent, whose name I still don't know, nods and goes out to clear the
area. He comes back a minute later and
he and two other agents get Jed loaded on the stretcher under the direction of
Dennis and I. Jed looks absolutely
mortified and it's all I can do to keep from breaking down myself.
We make it back to the infirmary with a minimal amount of commotion but
quite a crowd seems to have followed us into the small room. Jed just rolls his eyes as he's transferred
onto the bed. I move to undo a few more
buttons on his shirt, slip off his vest and take off his tie. Jed exerts a
little Presidential power and refuses to have the plane turn around or land
anywhere other than China. Dennis then clears the room in a rather
brusque but completely understandable manner.
CJ and Toby don't exactly take kindly to being shoved out but right now
I don't particularly care.
Dennis takes Jed's vitals and jots everything down on a notepad, no doubt
emblazoned with the Presidential Seal.
He asks Jed a few more questions before turning towards me.
"Dr. Griffith..."
"Milly," I correct him.
"Milly. I'm going to grab an IV
kit and get some steroids started."
"Solu-Medrol?" I ask. Dennis just nods and goes off to gather the
supplies.
"Some trip huh?" Jed mutters as I sit on the edge of the bed.
"Well, it's a little more exciting than finishing my Christmas
shopping," I tease as I brush back the hair that's flopped over his
forehead. "Do you want me to call
Abbey?"
"Not yet."
"OK. How about we get you out
of your dress shirt and into something a little more comfortable," I
suggest.
"Yeah, there's a t-shirt or something in the bedroom."
"With the Presidential Seal, no doubt," I tease. He laughs a little.
By the time I return with a t-shirt and Jed's slippers Dennis has gotten
the IV port in and has managed to slip off Jed's dress shirt. Together we get the t-shirt on and settle Jed
back against the pillows. Dennis hands
me the bag of IV fluids and I attach the tubing to the port before hanging the
bag from the hook on the wall.
"And now we wait?" Jed asks as he glances between Dennis and me.
"Yes, sir," Dennis answers.
"I don't really see any need for me to sit here with you. If you need anything I'll be next door."
"Thank you," Jed answers.
Dennis gives a little nod in my direction before closing the door
quietly behind him.
"Do you want me to go too?" I ask, not sure exactly what to do
right now.
"No, stay." I nod and slip
off my shoes before curling up in the chair by the bed.
We talk for a while. It's pretty
clear Jed is going to fight sleep as long as he can. I'm just about to suggest giving him
something to help him relax a little when there's a tentative knock on the
door. "Come in," Jed yells in
his best Presidential bellow. CJ enters
the room looking more timid than a 6 foot tall woman should be able to.
"May I talk to him for a minute?" she asks, directing the
question towards me.
"Ask me that question, Claudia Jean," Jed growls from the bed.
"Yes, Sir," CJ says as she pulls herself up to her full height
and crossed the small room. I make a
quick exit. Whatever she wants to discuss probably doesn't have anything to do
with me. I decide to make my way back to
the family cabin and call Abbey, before anything ends up on CNN.
*********************
"Ma'am, Milly, he's asking for you," CJ says from the doorway as
I hang up the phone after my conversation with Abbey. "The First Lady?" CJ asks as she
points towards the phone.
"Yes. She's feeling a little
frustrated right now. As we all are, I
suppose. Did you get done what you
needed to get done?"
"Yes. He made the phone
call."
"Is there anything else you need from him? I'd really like to see him get some more
sleep before we land."
"I think we're fine at the moment.
Keep me posted," she says as she makes a quick getaway down the
hall.
"Hey," Jed calls softly as I push the door open.
"Hey yourself. Any
change?" I ask as I pull a chair next to the bed. Jed nods and bends his left wrist a
little. It's a clumsy movement, but a
movement none the less. I smile and pull
the blanket back to expose his feet. He
moves them a little too.
"Great. How about your right
hand?" He bends his elbow a little
but doesn't manage to move his hand or his fingers. "Can you feel this?" I ask as I
take his hand in mine.
"No."
"OK. Jed, you're doing
fine. Give it some time. I talked to Abbey."
"She about ready to hand me my head on a platter?"
"Well, I think I heard her mutter the phrase "jackass" at
least twice," I tease. Jed laughs
as little and then takes a few slow deep breaths as if to gain control over
something.
"You ok?" I ask as I notice he's lost some of the color he'd
regained in the last hour or so.
"Nauseous all of the sudden," he whispers.
"Do you want to try and sit up a little?" He just nods and tries to lever himself up a
bit with little success. I call out for
Dennis who appears with lightning speed.
He assesses the situation in about a second and a half and disappears
again before returning with a basin, a damp washcloth and a can of ginger
ale. We prop Jed up a little more with
some pillows. He's clearly uncomfortable
and frankly looks as if he's about to have a full blown anxiety attack from the
combination of his symptoms and the side effects of the steroids.
"I'm going to check on our supply of Compazine or maybe a little
Ativan," Dennis says as he hands me the basin. I set it in Jed's lap and wipe his face with
the cool cloth before folding it up and putting it on the back of his neck.
"Slow deep breaths," I coach as I rub his back a little.
"When was the last time you actually practiced medicine?" Jed
groans.
"Jed, rubbing your back while you're trying not to puke doesn't really
require much medical training," I tease.
He starts to make a smartass remark but ends up throwing up into the
basin instead. Dennis peeks his head in
to check on us. "How about a little Compazine?" I suggest. Jed nods a little, even though my suggestion
was aimed at Dennis, who smiles a bit and holds up the syringe he brought in
with him.
"Don't let her do it," Jed groans a he picks his head up a
little. He hitches his chin towards the
can of ginger ale on the table.
"Just rinse your mouth, don't drink anything just yet," I suggest
as I hold the straw so he can drink. He
swishes and spits.
"You went to medical school to learn that helpful hint?" he
snorts. I just glare a little and wipe
his mouth for him. "I don't suppose
that goes into my arm?" Jed mutters.
"Sorry Mr. President," Dennis nods with as straight a face as he
can manage.
"You've been trying for years to get me to drop my pants," Jed
mumbles in my direction. Dennis doesn't
quite know what to say so I explain to him the fact that Jed and I have known
each other for a long time.
"You left out the part where you had a crush on me," Jed says
before groaning as Dennis injects him with the Compazine.
"I was a junior in high school," I remind him as he settles back
down against the pillows and I cover him back up. Dennis checks the IV before retreating back
to the other room.
"Thank you," Jed whispers as he clumsily tries to reach out to me
with his left hand. I take it in mine
and hold it for a minute as Jed struggles to keep his eyes open.
"Jed, just relax. Don't fight
sleep, you need it."
"But what if...what if by the time we get to China
I'm still like this?" he asks with this heartbreaking look on his face.
"Then we'll deal with it"
"How? Prop me up on a hand
truck and push me out there in the middle of Tiananmen Square?"
he laughs bitterly.
I can't help but snicker at that image.
"Wheelchair, if we have to.
You're the one who refused to turn the plane around," I remind him
as nicely as I can.
"Wheelchair," he snorts a little under his breath.
"FDR did it," I say, reminding him of the obvious.
"You know Milly, if there had been a television in every house 70
years ago, this country would not have elected a man in a wheelchair."
"Well, then it's a good thing you've already been re-elected," I
point out as I turn out the overhead light.
He lets out a frustrated sigh, knowing I'm not about to let him throw a
pity party. "Jed, close your
eyes. You still have a few hours to get
some more rest." He starts to
protest but a huge yawn pretty much ruins it for him.
"Fine," he agrees as he rolls onto his side as best he can. I put a few pillows behind his back to prop
him up a little.
"Better?" He just nods as
he closes his eyes. I grab an extra blanket from the closet and curl up in an
effort to get some sleep myself.
*********************
I have absolutely no sense of time or space when I wake up. A quick glance at my watch tells me nothing
as I have no idea what time zone it is set for, nor do I have any idea when I
fell asleep. Jed's still sound asleep,
curled up in a ball, which means he's moving around a bit more. That's a good sign. I toss my blanket aside and get up to stretch
a little as Dennis comes in to check on Jed.
"You ok?" he asks, probably taking in my utterly confused state.
"Yeah. Just a little trouble
getting oriented," I mutter.
"You've been asleep for 3 hours and we have a little under two before
we land. Does that help?" he
teases. I just nod. Dennis checks Jed's IV; he must have hung
another bag while we were sleeping because the bag is still about half full. "I'm just going to keep this in as long
as I can."
"Or until he starts threatening to take it out himself," I mutter
as I slip on my shoes.
"Something like that. Why don't
we step in the other room and talk for a few minutes?"
"Yeah, that sounds good."
I follow Dennis into the little office area, shielding my eyes against
the brightness of the room.
"So..." Dennis starts, clearly waiting for me to jump in a lead
the conversation.
"We wake him soon and see how he's doing. I sincerely doubt he's going to be walking
off this plane. We already had a short
conversation about the wheelchair. I think
deep down he knows that is probably going to be his only option. At least for the time being. He's obviously less than thrilled."
"What about the press?" Dennis wonders.
"So far things have been quiet.
CJ says only a few press corps members saw Jed on the stretcher and they
were warned that if they ever want to set foot on this plane again they would
not be filing a story from the air. But
obviously, if we're wheeling him off the plane the press corps is going to need
a heads up. I guess we can let CJ brief
them in an hour or so."
"Sounds like a plan, I guess," Dennis says with a shrug of his
shoulders. "Should I wake
him?" he asks.
"If you want to," I tease.
"Not really; you can do it," he grins.
"Fine. Send an agent to the bedroom
to get a clean shirt and tie."
Dennis heads out into the hall as I take a deep breath, bracing myself in
case the situation hasn't improved at all.
I go back into room. Jed's still
out like a light. He's curled up facing
me. In the dim light and with his hair flopped over his forehead he looks very
much like the 20 year old guy my brother brought home for the weekend.
"Jed," I whisper as I kneel next to the bed.
"Abbey?" he mutters in his sleep.
"Jed, it's Milly. Can you open
your eyes for me?" He opens them a
little and looks around, clearly about as oriented as I was when I first woke
up.
"Wasn't just a nightmare, was it?" he asks as he eyes the IV in
his right hand.
"Nope, sorry it wasn't. You
need to wake up a little more so we can see where we are. The plane lands in a little under 2
hours. Are you ready to sit
up?" Jed nods as Dennis comes into
the room. He puts Jed's clothes on the
table and helps me sit him up a little.
"Mr. President, are you ok?" Dennis asks as Jed pales a
little.
Jed shakes his head just a little.
"Dizzy," he admits.
"OK, we can put you back down," Dennis suggests.
"No," Jed says adamantly as he takes a few slow deep
breaths. I excuse myself for a second to
grab a basin and a washcloth, just in case.
"Better?" I ask after I wipe his face a little and he drinks some
ginger ale.
"Yeah," he answers, without the usual conviction in his voice.
"OK, we're going to need to get an idea of how things are progressing,
Mr. President. Can you tell me what's
going on right now?" Dennis asks as he pulls up a chair.
"I can feel her holding my hand," Jed answers as he looks down to
see his left hand and my right one sitting on his knee.
"Good, what about your right hand?" Jed is able to move his right arm and wrist a
bit but fine motor control is still basically absent.
"Now for the hard part," I say as I tap Jed's knee. "How are your legs?" He takes a while to answer, sort of shuffling
his feet back and forth a little against the carpet.
"I can feel my legs and move them but I can't feel my feet on the
floor," he sighs as he slumps a little.
"And even if my legs will hold me up, if I can't feel the floor,
I'm going to trip over my own feet. And
I don't have enough strength in my hands and arms to try crutches or a
cane. I guess we're out of options. I'll have to use the chair."
"Yes, you will." I just agree because I really can't think of
anything helpful to say at the moment.
"Now, CJ will need to talk to the Press. Do you want me to have her come in so you can
talk to her?"
"Not yet, not like this," he says as he gestures towards his
wrinkled t-shirt and messy hair.
"Can you help me get cleaned up a little?" he asks as he wipes
the back of his left hand over his eyes to get rid of the little tears of
frustration that have started to gather.
Dennis takes this as his sign to leave.
"Let me know if you need anything, Mr. President."
"Thank you," Jed says politely. As soon as the door shuts behind
Dennis he lets himself slump over a little, leaning against me. I put my arm around his shoulders while we
both cry for a few minutes. "I'm ok
now," he eventually mutters as he points towards the box of tissues. I grab some for both of us.
"OK, Dennis got a clean shirt and a new tie. How about we start with them?" I
suggest.
"How about we start with a shave?" Jed says as he rubs his hand
over his chin. "With the electric
razor," he adds as he catches the goofy grin on my face. "You may be the Surgeon General, but
you're not coming near me with any sharp objects," he laughs.
"I'll go get it. You steady
enough to sit here on the bed by yourself?"
"I don't think so. What about
the chair?" he asks as he points to the straight back chair with arms on
the other side of the room. I just nod
and pull it next to the bed. With a
minimal amount of trouble I manage to get him on his feet and he shuffles the
foot or so to the chair. He drops down
with no grace whatsoever but at least he didn't end up on the floor. "Can I lose this?" he asks as he
shakes the IV line at me.
"Let that bag finish running in.
Then we'll take it out."
I grab his razor, toothbrush and comb out of the bathroom of the family
cabin.
Half an hour later and we're both considerably more put together than we
were. Jed is sitting in his office chair, freshly shaved and wearing a crisp
white dress shirt. I'm buttoning his
vest and fixing his tie when the door opens and CJ, Toby and Kate walk in. I
give one final adjustment to his tie and step back so he can talk to his
staff. He shows off the use of his left
hand and talks about the wheelchair. I
step off to the side, not quite feeling that I belong in the room. I haven't been the Surgeon General so far on
this trip; I've been Jed's friend, just like I've been for 40 years. But when he's done speaking to the Press
Corps it will be my turn to put on my professional persona. Time to put aside my personal feelings and
the heartbreak I feel as I stand here watching Jed's agent set him in the
wheelchair.
"Everybody out," Jed orders after he's settled in the chair. "You stay," he says pointing at
me. Everyone files out, taking care not
to glance back and get another look at their leader sitting in a
wheelchair. As the door closes behind
Toby the upbeat look Jed worked so hard to keep on his face while he was
talking to his staff crumbles just a little and I get a glimpse of the pain
he's doing his best to hide. It's not a
physical pain, he assured me there is none at the moment, it's the pain that
comes with uncertainty and fear. A pain
for which there is no pill.
"Are you sure you're ready to do this?" I ask as I kneel next to
him. He nods silently as I reach over to
uncurl the fingers on his right hand and set them flat against his knee.
"Where's my watch?"
"Here," I say as I grab it off the corner of the desk where I had
set it down after taking it off of him earlier.
I push back his sleeve a little and put it on him. I fix that errant strand of hair that refuses
to stay in place and I look to make sure his shoes are tied. I give him a nod when I'm sure he looks
Presidential enough to face the Press Corps.
"I can't thank you enough for everything you did today," he says
quietly.
"You don't have to. That's what
friends are for." He just
nods. I stand up and brush invisible
lint from my pants. An agent peeks his
head in the door, letting us know it's time.
Jed motions for me to lean over and he kisses my cheek. I smile and plant a kiss on his forehead.
"You didn't get lipstick on me did you?" he teases. I run my thumb over his forehead just in case
I did. I can't really tell right now as
tears are clouding my vision.
"Go, I'll be right behind you," I assure him. He hands me his handkerchief and the agent
comes in to push him down to the Press Cabin.
I watch as the agent stops pushing and leans over to hear whatever it is
Jed is saying. I watch as the agent
steps aside and Jed proceeds to push himself.
It takes him a minute to gain momentum but he does it. I don't know how but he does.
Even after 40 years I still find myself amazed at the enduring
determination of Jed Bartlet.
THE END
