Things I Could Live Without
As I hang up the phone I pick up the picture of Liz, Ellie and Zoey that
sits on my desk. I can't begin to
imagine what life would be like if something happened to one of them. The call to the Levy's was heartbreaking.
It's calls like that which fall into the category of things that suck about
being President.
Don't get me wrong, this is a great job and to hold it is a great
honor. But some parts I'm still not used
to...and let's hope I never get used to them.
There are just some things I could certainly live without.
I could live the rest of my life quite happily never having to try and
understand the virtue of a proportional response, never having to call grieving
families, never having the proverbial blood of American soldiers on my hands,
never having to watch as my mistakes hurt those around me. I would be happy not
to feel like I am living in a fishbowl.
I could live quite happily never fighting with Abbey again. But I can guarantee there is no way that will
ever happen. But just going for a day
without fighting would be nice. I guess
we didn't really fight today, or yesterday I suppose would be the correct term. But Abbey had a fever of 101 and spent the
day in bed, so I guess that doesn't really count. But right now I am willing to grasp at straws
when it comes to making things better between Abbey and I.
Tonight was just one of those night that never seem to end. I could also live without nights like this;
I'm getting too damn old. We just jumped
from one thing to another and then back again, barely pausing to shift gears,
take a breath or eat hot pumpkin soup and cheese gnocchi.
Everyone was running off in different directions and I felt a little lost.
Everyone had his or her specific role set up for the night. Sam and Toby were handling the vote, Josh was
with Buckland, Leo was handling Jerusalem,
CJ was conversing with a Chemist and putting reporters in their place, Abbey
was sick in bed, getting my side of the bed all germy. She likes to lie on my
side when I'm not there. I'm used to
pushing her over so I can go to sleep.
At least that ritual hasn't changed.
Anyway, I was the utility player, if you will. The one who everyone needed for just a
minute. That wasn't so bad though; I can
live without always being the center of attention.
As much as I love formal wear, this tie and jacket have got to go.
I've come to the conclusion that maybe dressing up in formal wear isn't
such a good idea. Something always goes
wrong. We lost a tender ship, Josh put
his hand through a window, a missile silo exploded, and a bomb went off in Jerusalem. I'm thinking we need to stick to jeans and
sweatshirts for a while.
I guess given the phone call I just finished and the current mood around
here the thought about the formal wear was pretty dumb. But I'm running on very little sleep, too
much coffee and too many emotions. My
current state is something Abbey would rather not see me in. She worries way too much. Well, not really I guess, but sometimes it
feels that way.
It's time to debate whether or not to go and get a few hours sleep or just
go get some more coffee. I'm leaning
towards a few hours sleep. I'm hoping
the rest of the staff decided to crash for a while. I sent them out of the room so I could call
the Levy's in private but I never told them to go home and sleep so it is
debatable if any of the actually did.
Whatever.
Speaking of the staff, and I suppose this also applies to the general
public, I could really live without hearing a collective gasp every time I
stumble. I am, after all, a klutz. I was born that way. That has little to do with my MS.
MS.
Those are two letters I could certainly do without hearing for the rest of
my life. Along with the associated
phrases,
Degenerative illness, dizziness, weakness, Betaseron, Special Prosecutor,
Grand Jury, subpoena, cover up, fraud and massive conspiracy.
But unless medical science makes a huge break through in the next decade or
so, that isn't very likely.
Well, enough complaining about what is bad in my life. There are plenty of things that are great
about it; things I wouldn't want to live without.
So for now, I'll think about them as I walk back to the residence and crawl
into bed for a few hours sleep.
After I push Abbey back over to her side of the bed.
THE END
