Unwanted Attention

Josh sat down at his desk with a sigh and opened the brown bag that held the lunch Donna had just tossed, literally, on his desk. He opened it and pulled out what he hoped was a well done hamburger. No such luck, salad.

"Donna." he bellowed in the direction of her desk.

No answer. He could see her out there. He hauled himself out of his chair and went as far as his doorway.

"DONNA." he tried once again.

Clearly exasperated Donna pushed back her chair, grabbed her own salad and headed for Josh's office. She brushed past him and sat down in his visitors chair, propping her feet on the desk and balancing her own salad in her lap.

Josh sat back down and pointed at his lunch with a look of disgust.

"It's salad Joshua, you know, vegetables, dressing, croutons." she sighed.

"Yeah but what's the purple stuff?"

"Cabbage, Josh. Did you grow up in a cave?"

"No, I'm just used to green cabbage, you know, drowning in mayo with maybe a few carrots."

"That would be cole slaw, Josh." commented Donna with yet another sigh.

"OK, enough about cabbage. What's your problem lately?" he asked a little more bluntly than he had planned.

"Nothing that a week long vacation in Hawaii won't cure." said Donna sarcastically.

Josh picked at his salad and tried to think of a remark that wouldn't sound mean or well, Josh-like. He had noticed Donna hadn't been herself for a few weeks. Sure, things were crazy at work, the depositions were looming, the campaign was starting, the weather in DC had been either hot and humid or raining for weeks and tempers were flaring. But that stuff never fazed Donna before. But for weeks things had been different.

And he was trying to think of a nice way to ask her about it.

"Donna?"

"What?"

"Is something wrong?" he asked in the sweetest, most understanding voice he could.

"No." she said after a few seconds of hesitation.

"Are you sure? I mean, lately you've been a little, I don't know, distant, frazzled, frustrated, inattentive..."

"And what? You're worried how this will screw up your life? How my mood will affect you? You know Josh, maybe it is time you tried to organize your life yourself. I'll be glad to share the joy that is scheduling your life with you."

"Donna, that's not what I meant." said Josh desperately trying to backpedal.

"Forget it. I'll try harder. Don't worry about me. You have a meeting in the Mural Room in 20 minutes. Your notes are under the phone." And with those words Donna tossed the rest of her lunch in the trash and all but stalked out of the room.

"Guess that didn't go too well." muttered Josh to himself as he watched Donna leave. He made a mental note to, well, bribe her with something later.

The rest of the afternoon flew by. Josh's meeting lasted for hours, giving Donna some time to play catch up with the pile of work on her desk. She was plodding through it and getting frustrated when she tossed a folder on the precarious pile, causing the entire stack to tumble over, spilling papers all over her desk. It was at that moment that Josh rounded the corner. He watched unnoticed for a minute. His usually cool and calm assistant was clearly on the edge. And he was determined to find out what was wrong.

"Donna." he said quietly as he put his hand on her shoulder. "Fighting with the paperwork again?" he asked, trying to lighten the tension that was overtaking the room.

"Yeah." muttered Donna, not even lifting her head.

Josh crouched down next to her and hooked a finger under her chin and turned her face towards his. She tried to smile but tears of frustration threatened to spill out of the corners of her eyes. He took her face in his hands and wiped the tears with his thumbs. She managed to give him a sad smile and let him help her with the files. Once everything was in order he took her by the hand and led her to his office.

"Josh, I have work to do." she whined as he maneuvered her into his chair.

"It can wait." he said softly as he sat down in front of her on the desk. He tossed her a tissue and waited for her to speak.

Donna took a couple of deep breaths and tried to few times to talk but her emotions always got the best of her and she didn't quite get the words out.

"OK, look, it's dinner time. Why don't we grab something to eat, take a walk out on the mall and talk?"

"Fine." said Donna as she ran her hands over her face and through her hair. "I'll be ready in a few minutes." she said as she left the room.

Josh ran his fingers through his already unruly hair, loosened his tie, rolled up his sleeves and grabbed his wallet.

They walked over towards the Washington Monument, stopping to get hot dogs and soda from a street vendor. They ate on a bench in the shadow of the monument, not talking, much to Josh's dismay.

"You wanna talk here, or walk for a while?" asked Josh when he returned from throwing away their trash.

"Walk." whispered Donna as she stood up and stretched.

They headed towards the Lincoln Memorial, walking along the reflecting pool on the side of the Korean War Memorial. Josh reached over to wrap his arm around her shoulders in a quick, hopefully, reassuring hug.

They took a seat on the low wall that ran along the monument's walkway. Josh stretched his legs out and leaned back on his hands. He looked towards Donna and questioningly raised his eyebrows.

"OK, let me finish before you say anything, please?" said Donna.

Josh just nodded.

"You know when we were working on the Family Wellness Act, how I was interested in the funding for ADD. I said my cousin had it. Well, he does, but he's not the only one." She stopped for a second and looked at Josh to make sure he knew what she was saying. He tried not to act too surprised, giving her a small, dimpled smile. He nodded for her to continue. "I've struggled with it since I was a kid. I've taken Ritalin for years. Most people outgrow it, but small percentages don't. I didn't. With the medication I was fine. I functioned normally. My doctor tried to wean me off a few times, in high school, in college and it didn't go well, my grades dropped and he put me back on. Over the past few years, since I started working for you, in the back of my mind I always wanted to try and wean myself off again. So for the past few weeks I have been, with my doctor's support. And it's pretty obvious how it is working out...it's not working." she sighed and shrugged her shoulders, not sure what to say next.

"OK. Well, this is a lot to digest at once. Can I ask you a few things?" said Josh as he sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees.

"Sure."

"First how did I not notice this and why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked, trying not to sound as hurt as he was.

"On the Ritalin, I function fine. I always wanted to tell you, but the time never seemed right, I was afraid of what you might think."

"Donna, why would you be afraid of telling me?" asked Josh softly.

"I don't know." she whispered as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"OK. We will come back to that question." smiled Josh. "What made you try to wean yourself off now? I mean, things are crazy at work, the depositions are coming up and you'll have to testi..." And with those words the proverbial light bulb went off over his head. "And you were afraid they would find out about the Ritalin. And that would somehow hurt the President."

"Yeah, pretty stupid I guess. I mean, I'm just an assistant. It's not like I have to powerful job or anything." sighed Donna as a few tears escaped down her cheeks. Josh wiped them with his thumbs.

"Not stupid, you were scared. I understand that. I'm scared to death too. I mean, what kind of a field day do you think the lawyers are going to have with me?" he chuckled.

In spite of her efforts not to, Donna laughed along with him.

"So now what?" he asked.

"I talked to my doctor a little while ago and I'm going back on it. I just really want to stop taking it, maybe someday. But not now, it's not the right time."

Josh smiled and motioned towards the Lincoln Memorial.

"You wanna walk for a while?"

"Sure."

They walked in silence until they wandered around to the back of the Lincoln Memorial. They sat down and watched the setting sun.

"Can you explain a few things for me, I mean, I know next to nothing about ADD."

Donna nodded for him to continue.

"I thought people with ADD were hyper and well, more like me and less like you." he said with a smile.

"That's ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I don't have the hyper part."

"Thank God," muttered Josh. "I have enough nervous energy for both of us."

"True." smirked Donna.

"How is it that you, I can't think of a nice way of saying this..." explained Josh. "How can you be so good at your job if you have so much trouble with concentration?"

"Well, the medication for one thing. And believe it or not this job is perfect for someone with ADD. There's not a lot of repetition, things are always changing, always different. I don't do something long enough to bored with it. I do have trouble with some of the mundane paperwork, filing and things like that. But I know my limits and I know when to take a break and do something different for a while." explained Donna.

"What about organizational problems and lack of patience. Aren't they part of ADD?"

"Yeah, why do you think I freak out when you misplace your planner? In case you hadn't noticed, I write everything down. I force myself to be more patient. Although being more patient than you doesn't take a whole lot of effort." teased Donna.

"So what you are saying is that I'm the perfect boss for someone with ADD?" said Josh with mock pride.

"Yes, Joshua you are." said Donna with a roll of her eyes.

Josh reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. They sat in silence for a while as the sun disappeared from view.

"We should get back." said Donna as she stood up. She held out her hand to pull Josh to his feet.

They walked back to the White House in silence.

Donna tried to go back to her desk to work but Josh convinced her to go home and get some rest. He even told her she didn't have to come in until 9 the next morning. Which would have sounded generous if the next day hadn't been Saturday.

He worked for a while but gave up when it was clear he wasn't getting anything accomplished. He turned on the computer, typed ADD into a search engine and started reading. Two hours later he had a stack of articles printed out, dry eyes and the beginnings of a headache. Throwing his backpack over his shoulder he turned out the lights and walked out to his car. Halfway home he fished out his cell phone and called Donna.

"Hello." she said as she turned down the TV.

"Hi, it's me."

"What do you need, what did you lose?" she asked trying not to get annoyed.

"Donna, I'm hurt." whined Josh.

Donna could only snort into the phone.

"OK, so I'm not really hurt. What are you doing?"

"Nothing much, trying to find something on TV. And before you ask, a University of Wisconsin t-shirt and a pair of flannel boxers I stole from you." said Donna with a laugh.

"Oh" laughed Josh. "Look, I just left the office. Can I come over?"

"Yeah, I guess, if you want to."

"OK, I have to make a quick stop. See you in about half an hour."

"Kay, bye."

Donna hung up, straightened a few things and threw the cats in her roommate's bedroom. Exactly half an hour later she opened the door to find Josh standing there, tie hanging loose, hair sticking straight up, holding a brown paper bag.

"Peace offering." he said as he held out the bag.

"You don't need a peace offering." she said as she took the bag anyway.

She reached in and pulled out a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Thank you."

She steered him towards the couch and went to grab two spoons from the kitchen. Josh took out the folder with the information on ADD he had printed out.

"Whatcha got there?" asked Donna with a smile.

"Just some stuff I printed out. I wanted to read up on ADD, you know, so I can...In case...just because...Oh God, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say."

Donna just smiled as she handed him a spoon and the ice cream while holding out her other hand for the folder.

"Joshua, it's fine. I know what you mean. You don't have to explain. Please, I don't want anything to change. You know now and I'm glad but don't treat me any differently."

"I won't."

"I mean it Josh, don't stop yelling. I'm not fragile, I won't break and once I go back on the Ritalin things will be back to our normal, frantic existence."

Josh just smiled at her as she tucked her feet under her and grabbed the ice cream from him. She took a few bites and glanced at the papers in her lap. She pointed out a few things and put aside the more helpful articles.

They watched TV and talked for a while. Around midnight Josh nodded off, dropping the remote on the floor.

She thought about waking him and sending him home but she didn't have the heart. He was exhausted. So she just slipped off his tie, laid him down and covered him up.

Donna sat down in the kitchen with a cup of tea, thinking. She thought about how she should have come clean a long time ago. Telling Josh hadn't been so hard. She was glad he knew but she hoped it wouldn't change things. She liked the way things were between them, as strange as their relationship was; it worked for them, both personally and professionally.

She thought about how far she had come in her life. In high school people had written her off as a flake, in college, well, she couldn't make up her mind about what she wanted to study and then Dr. Freeride had come along. He had played her like a violin. He had known about her ADD and he used that knowledge against her. And for a while she let him and then she set out for New Hampshire. To start over and to find her place in the world.

And she had found it. She had a job she loved, friends, and most importantly her life had meaning.

Deep down she held onto the dream that one day she would be able to function without the help of medication. But they way she looked at it, the fact that she took Ritalin was no more an issue for the people she worked with than Leo's addiction, Sam's parents, or Josh's PTSD. Like their *ghosts* it was just a part of her.

Donna put the mug in the sink and turned out the lights. She sat down on the coffee table for a minute to look at Josh. She reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair off his forehead. He stirred for a second as she pulled the quilt up under his chin. She kissed his forehead and went down the hall to her room.

Donna woke up early the next morning. As she padded into the hallway she heard Josh's voice from the kitchen. He was singing softly to himself. She stopped at the threshold between the kitchen and the living room and giggled to herself when she realized what he was singing,

********************

We the people, in order to form

a more perfect union,

establish justice,

ensure domestic tranquility,

provide for the common defense,

promote the general welfare and

secure the blessings of liberty

to ourselves and our posterity

do ordain and establish this Constitution,

for the United States of America.

********************

"Joshua, weren't you a little too old to be watching Saturday morning cartoons by the time School House Rock started?" she teased.

"You're never too old to watch cartoons, Donnatella" he remarked as he handed her a cup of coffee.

"Wait, you made coffee?" she asked as she eyed the mug warily.

"Yes. I am a man of many talents." smirked Josh as he used his foot to push out the chair next to him.

She took a seat and smiled at him.

"What?"

"Nothing...I just feel...unburdened." she said quietly.

"Well, I'm sure I can change that pretty quickly. I need you to come in today, we have a lot of work to do." he teased.

"Good, I'm up for it." she grinned. "Josh, promise me nothing will change."

"I promise"

And with that he turned his attention back to the newspaper and Donna got up to get the familiar amber bottle of pills out of the cabinet over the sink.

THE END

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