With Determination and Honor

Manchester, NH

1993

Friday late afternoon

Abbey Bartlet sat at her desk in her downtown Manchester medical office looking at the notes she had just written. She pulled off her glasses and rubbed her eyes wearily. She glanced behind her to look at her husband sleeping on the leather couch. Gov. Josiah Bartlet looked peaceful and calm in his sleep. But Abbey knew better.

To the public the Governor of New Hampshire was fine. He was energetic, lively and in complete control. But Abbey knew that behind that stoic exterior something was wrong, very wrong.

She couldn't quite remember when the symptoms had started. A stumble here, a dropped glass there. Nothing terrible, especially given the fact that Jed's clumsiness, something he had apparently been born with, was part of his charm. But lately things were different. Symptoms would come and go, often without warning. About a year ago Abbey had started to try and keep track of them, to make some sense of what was happening to her normally healthy husband. She mentioned her concerns to Jed a few times but he just blew things off, often blaming his accidents on his lack of sleep and his own inborn clumsy tendencies.

She put her glasses back on and reread the notes in her lap. The page was filled with her observations over the last week. Jed had been fine for a few months. He'd had a nasty case of the flu a little over a week ago, complete with a pretty high fever. In the past week he had been clumsier than usual and he complained about dizziness. She could tell he was having trouble with his eyes too. When she called him on it he blamed it on the fact he had been doing more reading than usual.

Jed's health was the reason they had decided to spend the weekend in Manchester. Abbey wanted him to relax and catch up on his sleep. Somehow they had even managed to leave by 11:00 that morning. But the time away hadn't started off well.

She flipped back a few pages to some notes she had made 5 months ago. The symptoms were similar but there hadn't been anything preceding them, no fever or illness of any kind. She tried to think back about what was going on in the state at the time. Then she remembered the scandal that had rocked the statehouse about the same time. So while Jed hadn't had a physical illness he had been under a great deal of stress at the time the symptoms had last appeared.

Something just wasn't making sense. She threw the notepad on the desk and closed her eyes and sighed. She heard Jed roll over on the couch behind her.

She rose from her chair and knelt down next to him. She reached over to caress his cheek, carefully avoiding the cut under his eye and the bruise that had begun to show. She took a piece of gauze and dabbed lightly at the cut, the one that had taken her 5 stitches to close. She still couldn't believe he had let her stitch him up. As she brushed his hair back his eyes fluttered open and he smiled at her.

"Hey, honey, how's your head?" she asked as she helped him sit up.

"It hurts, how long have I been asleep?" asked Jed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"About an hour. Can we talk about what happened?" asked Abbey as she put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a quick hug.

"Now? Can't we go home? I'm really wiped out, all I want to do is go home" pleaded Jed in a voice that was very close to whining.

"OK, if you promise me we'll talk later." He gave her a slight nod.

Abbey stood up and held out her hand to Jed. He took it and stood up slowly. He waved Abbey away and she went into an exam room to get something.

He just stood for a moment, his legs felt unsteady and wooden under him. Abbey silently watched him from the doorway. He walked across the room slowly, grabbed his coat from the chair and threw it on over his head. Abbey grabbed her notepad, a few medical books and her own coat.

"What's with the medical texts?" inquired Jed, already knowing the answer before Abbey had a chance to open her mouth.

"Jed, something is wrong and I am trying to find out what that might be" said Abbey sounding wearier by the minute.

"Abigail, I'm fine. I just tripped; please stop making a big deal out of this. You knew I was clumsy when you married me over 30 years ago. You were never worried before"

Abbey wisely decided to drop the subject for now. She took Jed by the hand and they walked to the car. The driver opened the door for them and they climbed in silently. They stayed that way the 20 minute trip back to the farmhouse. Abbey stared out the window and Jed sat back in the seat with his eyes closed, trying to ignore the throbbing in his cheek and the general fatigue that had overtaken his body.

When they arrived back at the farm Abbey put on the kettle for tea and sent Jed up to change out of the clothes that were stained with blood. Jed still hadn't come back into the kitchen by the time the kettle whistled so Abbey poured herself a cup and drank it alone.

She thought of confronting him about the accident that had happened that afternoon but decided to let him be. She knew he was exhausted. After her tea she climbed the stairs to their bedroom to check on him. She found him sound asleep on the bed sprawled out on top of the quilt. At least he had changed out of his clothes and was now wearing pajama bottoms and a Notre Dame t-shirt. She went into the bathroom and put the bloody shirt in a sinkful of cold water and got her own pajamas on.

She woke Jed up enough to pull the quilt out from under him and cover him up. She sat down on her side of the bed and just watched him. He was sleeping on his stomach, his left arm tucked under his head and his right one hanging off the bed. He had his face towards her; the bruise on his cheek had grown in size and deepened in color over the past few hours. She reached over to smooth back his hair. She kissed his forehead, which was a little warm. She thought about just joining him and getting some sleep herself but she wanted to ponder the situation some more. And it was only 10:00 at night, much earlier than she was used to retiring.

She went back downstairs to get the books she had brought home. She contemplated making a phone call but decided to wait until the morning.

She propped up her pillows and sat on the bed next to him, reading and making notes for well over an hour. Jed barely stirred.

She reread her notes and some things started to come together in her mind. There seemed to be some kind of common thread to his symptoms. They always accompanied or quickly followed one of two things. Either an illness, usually with a fever, or a time when Jed was under a great deal of emotional stress. She wasn't sure what her revelation meant but she was pretty sure it was important.

She slid off the bed and paced around the room for a while, thinking and worrying. She glanced back to the bed when she heard Jed moving around.

"Honey, you OK?" she asked as she crossed the room and sat next to him on the bed.

He sat up, leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands.

"My head is killing me and, oh I don't know, I just don't feel right"

"Dizzy?"

"Yeah, a little." he sighed trying to hide how bad he really felt.

She moved closer to him and stuck her hand under his shirt to rub his back. She was startled at how warm he was.

"Jed, you're really warm. Let me get you something for the fever and then since you are awake we are going to talk, OK?" She got up to go into the bathroom.

"Now, isn't it the middle of the night?"

"Jed, look at the clock, it's 11:30" she yelled from the bathroom.

"Oh"

Abbey returned from the bathroom with 2 pills and a glass of water. Jed swallowed the pills and drank the water, slowly. Trying to stall the inevitable. He finally handed the cup back to Abbey and curled back up on the bed.

"So, exactly what did happen this afternoon?" asked Abbey as she settled down next to him.

"Nothing, I just tripped going into the study. I fell and hit my cheek and eye on the table as I went down. It was no big deal, just one of my normal clumsy moments."

"Honey, I watched you as you got up from the counter to go into the study. You seemed to be walking very deliberately, like you were trying to keep your balance. Were you dizzy, is that why you fell?"

"I was dizzy but that wasn't what made me fall." Jed took a deep breath and decided to come clean, 100%. "When I went to step into the study my left leg just wouldn't cooperate. I couldn't lift it up over the threshold. I tried again and I thought I had lifted my foot up enough but apparently I was mistaken and down I went."

"Has that happened before, where you couldn't navigate a step or a curb?"

Jed could only nod and Abbey immediately put on her "doctor face"

"Abigail, you're scaring me. What do you think is wrong?"

"I'm really not sure but I want to make an appointment for you to see Dr. Tom Stephenson. He's a neurologist. He practices at Mass General. I'll call him in the morning."

"OK, please tell me what you suspect?"

"Nothing in particular, I just think a consult with a neurologist is the first step in making sense of what is happening. Don't worry about it tonight."

"I'll try" said Jed as he yawned and curled back up under the quilt. "Stay with me until I fall asleep, please?" he asked trying not to show the panic that was starting to rise up within him.

"Sure"

Jed rolled over on his stomach again and Abbey rubbed his back until he fell asleep. When she was sure he was asleep she let the tears that she had been holding back start to fall. When sleep didn't come to her own body she sat in the chair and opened up one of the books. She scanned the table of contents until she found what she was looking for..

Multiple Sclerosis.

She read the section quickly; fear growing in her as the symptoms listed mirrored those Jed had been having for over a year. She made a few notes and then wearily climbed back into bed and held Jed tightly.

The next morning Abbey woke up to find Jed's side of the bed empty. She heard the TV on downstairs and got out of bed to go find him. As she crossed the room she glanced down at the chair where she had been sitting the night before. The book on neurological disorders and her notepad were missing.

She threw on her robe and ran down the stairs. Jed wasn't in the kitchen but the books were opened on the counter next to an untouched cup of tea and some uneaten toast.

"Jed, where are you?"

No answer. His coat was on the hook by the door so she didn't think he had gone outside. She turned to go down the hall and saw the door to the study was closed. She knocked lightly before going in.

"Honey, can I come in?"

Again no answer, she touched the doorknob, it was not locked. She let herself in. Jed was sitting on the window seat behind his desk looking out the window. He gave her a quick glance when she entered and then went back to looking out the window.

"Jed, talk to me, please" pleaded Abbey as she crossed the room and went behind the desk. He made no effort to move over in the window seat to give her room so she just leaned against the desk.

"Josiah Thomas, talk to me." she said in a voice that told him she meant business.

"OK" he whispered trying to control all that was going on inside him, the feelings of anger, fear and the dull ache in his head.

He moved over enough to let her sit next to him. He sat crossed legged on the window seat with his elbows on his knees, his hands clenched into fists.

"How in the hell could you have kept your suspicions from me all this time?" he asked bitterly.

"Jed, my suspicions about MS first occurred to me last night, after you fell asleep, I swear." She reached out to caress his cheek but he turned away.

"What if I don't believe you?"

"That's up to you, but if I had these suspicions earlier, believe me, you would have already been examined by a neurologist. I'm going to call Tom in a little while. Hopefully he will be able to see you soon. How much did you read in my book?" inquired Abbey as she once again reached out to caress his cheek, this time he didn't pull away.

"Enough to start to panic" he sighed as he put his head in his hands.

"Do you want to talk about what you read? I'll try and answer any questions you might have." offered Abbey as she reached over to rub his back.

"I don't want to talk now" he stated as he motioned for her to move so he could get up. He walked out, closed the door behind him and left Abbey sitting on the window seat, close to tears.

Part of her wanted to run after him but knowing him as she did she knew he needed a few minutes to himself. She wandered out into the kitchen. She noticed his coat was missing, he must have gone outside. She stayed in the kitchen and made herself some tea. From the window over the sink she could see Jed sitting on the bench by the pond, smoking, much to her disappointment. She was ready to go out and grab the cigarette from him but she stopped just short of the door. She knew the only time he ever smoked was when he was completely and utterly stressed out. And this was most definitely one of those times. So she decided to ignore it.

She went upstairs to find Tom's number and called his service. He returned her call within 10 minutes. He told her to have Jed at Massachusetts General at 3:00 that afternoon. While she was grateful to get an appointment with him so soon she was also worried. Tom was very concerned about the symptoms she had described and wanted to see Jed as soon as possible.

Abbey heard the kitchen door slam and then the study door slam. She took a deep breath and descended the stairs to talk to Jed.

He was in the study, sitting on the couch and holding a pillow to his chest. He had kicked off his shoes and put his feet on the coffee table. He gave Abbey a weak smile when she sat down next to him.

"I talked to Tom, he would like to see you this afternoon." she blurted out as fast as she could.

"This afternoon? What's he going to do?" asked Jed curiously.

"I'm not positive, probably a neurological exam, he wants to see my notes and to talk to both of us. He'll probably want to do an MRI either today or sometime very soon."

"It all sounds very ominous." He put his head back and took a deep breath. "But I guess it's time we found out what's going on." said Jed with resignation in his voice.

"Honey, everything will be OK, whatever this is we will get through it, together, like we always do. What do you always tell the girls... with the determination and honor that comes along with being a Bartlet" teased Abbey as she did her best impression of her husband. Jed did manage a small smile. She turned sideways on the couch so she could face him. He looked so tired and worn out to her. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"No, not really" he sighed

She watched him as the tears started to fall. She took the pillow from his hands and gently pulled him down until his head was in her lap. She held him while he sobbed, wiping his tears with one hand and her own with the other. After a long time he started to settle down. She stroked his hair and his cheek until he fell asleep. When she was sure he was sleeping she covered him with a blanket and crept out to the kitchen to get her notes together. Then she went up to take a shower.

When she was ready to go she went down to wake Jed. He was already awake but still on the couch when she entered the study.

"Honey, it's time to get ready to go"

"Yeah, I'll be ready in 20 minutes."

The ride down to Boston went quickly. They had decided to go alone, leaving behind the driver and the limo. Abbey did convince Jed to let her drive the Explorer. They arrived in the parking deck at 2:45.

Saturday afternoon

Massachusetts General Hospital was a massive maze of corridors and elevators. Jed was glad Abbey was leading the way. He was lost after the first 3 turns. They got to Tom's office at exactly 3:00. He was waiting for them.

The formalities and introductions were short. Abbey and Jed just talked to Tom for over an hour. Abbey shared her notes and her feelings. Jed answered all of Tom's questions but otherwise was unusually quiet.

Tom did a thorough neurological exam and then handed them a checklist of symptoms to look at.

"Governor.."

"Please, call me Jed."

"OK, Jed, I want you to take a look at this list, make a check next to the symptoms you've been experiencing, even if they have only occurred once. I can't stress the importance of being totally honest"

Jed took the list and read it. Fear and panic started to rise up as he checked off symptom after symptom. He handed the list to Abbey and got up to walk over to the window. He could feel his breathing starting to get fast and shallow. "Josiah Thomas," he thought to himself, "now is not the time to hyperventilate"

Abbey read the list quietly. She wasn't surprised at most of the things he had checked off. She had observed most of the symptoms herself. She handed the list back to Tom who took it and went out of the office to make some arrangements and to give Jed and Abbey a moment alone.

Abbey crossed to room to Jed and wrapped her arms around him from behind, putting her head on his shoulder. She could feel him breathing a little too rapidly.

"Jed, take a deep breath and hold it...Good, do it again...again."

It took him a couple of tries but together they got things under control before Tom came back with some forms to fill out.

"So, what's next?" Jed asked in his typical fashion.

"I'd like to get an MRI and a Spinal Tap. Abbey would you like to explain the procedures or do you..."

"Tom, I'd really just prefer to be Jed's wife for the moment. I'll leave the doctoring up to you. Go ahead and explain everything, please."

"I understand. Jed the MRI will show if there are areas of plaque or scarring in the brain. The procedure is painless but can be a bit unnerving, especially if you are claustrophobic" explained Tom.

"Well, I am, a little, you should also know I've been known to hyperventilate." confessed Jed with a weak smile.

"Don't worry, we can give you something to calm you down. The spinal tap is a little uncomfortable. A needle is inserted in you back and we draw out some spinal fluid for analysis. Many people experience a headache afterwards. It's usually not severe but it can be. There are things we can to do help if the pain is severe. The most important thing is to rest for the 24 hours following the procedure. I know this is all sudden and you do have a state to run so if you need to schedule the spinal tap for another day I understand. But I do suggest that you make time to have it done soon. Do you have any questions?"

"No, not right now. Could we have a few minutes to talk? I also need to make some calls to Concord."

"Not a problem, should I go ahead and make arrangements for the MRI?"

Abbey glanced at Jed who nodded, yes.

"Take your time, feel free to use the phone. I'll be back in a little while. There is some paperwork on the desk that I need one of you to fill out" Tom left the room and Abbey took the papers and a pen from the desk.

"Jed, I'm going to go to the waiting room to fill these out. Make your calls; I really want to get both tests done today. Do you think you can work that out?"

"Yeah, I can make arrangements. I'm going to have to put some kind of spin on things. I don't want the whole population of New Hampshire thinking I'm dying or anything. I should also get a security team down here. Something small and discreet. I'll make some calls and get things settled." said Jed as he sat in a chair and reached for the phone.

Abbey kissed the top of his head and went to tackle the paperwork.

Half an hour later Tom rejoined Abbey and Jed in his office. Jed had been able to reach the Lt. Governor and make arrangements to stay away from Concord until at least Monday evening. The small security detail that had come with them to Manchester was on its way to Boston.

"Well, what did you decide to do, Jed?" asked Tom

"Let's go ahead and do both tests"

"Good, I've arranged for a private room for you. Since it is already so late in the day I would like you to spend the night here. By the time we are done with both tests it is likely to be late this evening and we usually like to observe patients who have had a spinal tap for a few hours after the procedure. Is that OK with you?"

"Fine."

"I can get the security team to bring some things from the house." offered Abbey, "Do you think they left yet, Jed"

"No, they should still be there."

Abbey went off to make the call while Tom and Jed waited.

A short while later Tom escorted them to a private room with a great view of the city.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to make sure the MRI technician is ready. There's a gown in the bathroom, I'll have a nurse start an IV and we will give you something to help you relax. I'll see you after the procedure." Tom then turned to Abbey and said "You can accompany him to the room and join me during the actual procedure if you'd like."

Abbey nodded yes and he left to go check on things. Jed put on the gown and climbed on the gurney. It was only a few minutes until the nurse came in to start the IV.

Luckily she got it on the first try. She reached for the sedative.

"What is that?" Jed eyed the syringe warily.

"Versed, it probably won't knock you out but it will calm you down." answered Abbey. "Use the deep breathing exercises if you have to once you get in the machine."

"Abbey, I don't know about this... Jed whined.

"Jed, you'll be fine, I'll just be in the next room. You'll be able to hear me, OK?"

"OK"

An orderly came to take them to the MRI room. Abbey stayed with him as long as she could. She joined Tom and the MRI technician in the small room.

The test started and for a while Jed seemed to be doing pretty well. Then Abbey could tell he was starting to get agitated. She tried to calm him down over the speaker but she didn't wasn't having much luck. She turned to Tom.

"How much longer?" she asked nervously chewing on a thumbnail.

"At least 15 minutes"

Abbey continued to talk to Jed through the speaker, trying to keep him calm. The minute the tech gave her the sign she ran into the room.

"Honey, don't sit up, just roll on your side. It's over. Take a deep breath...Jed, concentrate.. take a deep breath and hold it...Jed listen to me..." pleaded Abbey as Jed really started to hyperventilate. His blue eyes were wide with fear when Tom came up behind her with a paper bag.

"Here, try this" Tom held the paper bag over Jed's mouth and nose while Abbey held his hand and rubbed his back. Despite their efforts Jed didn't calm down and much to his embarrassment he did pass out. Tom handed Abbey some smelling salts and she held them up to Jed's nose. He sputtered, coughed and then came around.

"Oh, God, I passed out, didn't I"

"Yeah, honey, you did. Just lay still for a minute." said Abbey soothingly as she wiped his face with a damp cloth.

Tom handed her a cup of orange juice. "I'm willing to bet he hasn't had too much to eat or drink today. See if you can get him to drink something. Any fluids you can get into him will help. I'll open up the IV a bit too."

"Sounds like a good idea."

Abbey got Jed settled back down in his room by 7:00. Tom wanted him to have some time to calm down and rest a while before the spinal tap.

"Jed, I should really call the girls and let them know where we are." remarked Abbey as she ate the dinner that had been brought up for her.

"Yeah, I guess so. See if Elizabeth can keep Zoe for a few more days. I'm sure Zoe is having a great time with Annie; I don't think she'll mind. Be vague, I don't want the three of them panicking. And I certainly don't want Eleanor thinking she has to come here from school. Her classes are more important. I don't want anyone making a fuss, at least until we know what we are dealing with."

"Do you want to talk to them too?" asked Abbey as she reached for the phone.

Jed shook his head no, "I can't"

"It's OK, I can do it. Try to drink something. Being well hydrated will help lessen the side effects of the spinal tap."

Abbey called her daughters and tried to be vague about the situation but she wasn't sure they believed her. At least they didn't want to come rushing to Boston. By the time Abbey hung up the phone Jed was dozing off. Tom knocked on the door to check on them.

"Asleep? Good, we'll let him be for a while. I'm going to do the tap myself, so it can be done whenever he wakes up. Why don't you try and get some rest too Abbey."

"I will, can we step outside for a minute?" asked Abbey as she turned out the light over Jed's bed and motioned towards the door.

"Sure"

"So what are you thinking?" inquired Abbey anxiously.

"You know I don't like to jump to conclusions.." stressed Tom.

"But you're thinking what I was thinking, aren't you"

"Yes, but I want to see the MRI and spinal tap results first, but my gut instinct is MS" sighed Tom.

Abbey sank into a chair and put her head in her hands. Tom sat next to her until his pager went off.

"I have to answer that, are you OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I'm going to go try and get some rest. I'll have the nurse call you when he wakes up." Abbey answered in a shaky voice.

Tom turned to go down the hall and Abbey went back in the room. Jed was fast asleep. She stared out the window at the city of Boston. She started to call her husband's best friend, Leo but had second thoughts by the time she actually picked up the phone. She went to the closet, grabbed an extra blanket and curled up in the chair.

By 9:30 Jed was awake and Tom was on his way to do the spinal tap. Two nurses came in and prepped Jed for the test. Abbey was torn between her wife and doctor modes but had decided to just stay out of the way and be there for Jed. That plan failed when one nurse was called away at the last minute. She stepped in to help Tom get it done.

"Honey, roll on your side towards me, bring your knees up and your chin down."

"You're joking right, I'm not a kid anymore, I'm not that flexible" groaned Jed.

"We'll you're going to have to try or I'm getting a big burly orderly in here to help" teased Abbey.

Jed did the best he could. Abbey stood in front of him and hooked her left arm behind his knees and put her right hand on the back of his neck.

"Tom's just going to numb the area, you'll feel a little pinch" said Abbey. "There, give it a minute to start to work and then we'll get this over with. You OK?"

"Yeah"

Abbey looked up at Tom who mouthed "ready?"

"Jed, stay as still as possible. Do some deep breathing or conjugate some Latin verbs to keep your mind occupied" teased Abbey, trying to ease some of the tension that was in the room. "Ready?"

"Yeah, do it"

"Jed, I'm going to insert the needle now. You shouldn't feel any pain, just some pressure..Good...now you're probably feel some pain for just a few seconds..just keep breathing and you'll do fine." coached Tom.

Jed flinched as the needle found its destination. Abbey leaned over to whisper to him.

"Sweetie, you're doing great. Just a little while longer".

Abbey peered over Jed and watched Tom fill the vials. He handed them off to the nurse.

"Jed, I'm just going to take the needle out, put a band-aid on it and you're finished. I want you to lay flat and still for at least 6 hours. The longer you are still the less chance you have a developing a headache. The IV fluids should help too. If you get a headache let us know, we can give you something. I'm going to take these vials to the lab myself, I'll be back in a couple of hours." said Tom.

"Thanks" whispered Jed.

Abbey walked Tom to the door and thanked him as well. The nurse cleaned up and left Jed and Abbey alone.

Abbey pulled up a chair and sat by Jed's head. She took his hand and kissed it.

"You did great, I'm really proud of you. Try and get some rest, OK?"

"OK"

It was only minutes before Jed fell asleep. Abbey settled down and dozed on and off for a few hours too. Tom came back to check on Jed and found them both sleeping. He had some results but didn't want to wake them. They would hear them soon enough.

Jed woke up sometime around 3:00 in the morning with a headache. Abbey was still asleep with her head on the bed, holding his hand. She stirred when he pulled his hand away to rub his eyes.

"Jed, what's wrong? Headache?" asked Abbey trying to fully wake up herself.

"Yeah"

Abbey reached over to press the call button. Abbey expected a nurse but Tom appeared within a minute.

"How are you feeling, Jed?" asked Tom.

"Not so great, my head is killing me" complained Jed in a weak voice.

"OK, I can give you something. Are you nauseous too?"

"Yeah, a little" admitted Jed.

"OK" he turned his attention over to Abbey. "I'm going to give him some ibuprofen. If that doesn't help or if he starts vomiting I can do a blood patch"

"OK, I'm still in the room here, what in the world is a blood patch?" asked Jed.

"Sorry honey, if your headache doesn't go away with ibuprofen or if you starting vomiting that could mean that the hole didn't seal itself up and some spinal fluid is leaking. If that turns out to be the case Tom can draw some blood from your arm and inject it over the site of the tap. That will seal off the leak and stop the headache."

"Oh, another needle, sorry I asked. Let's just try a pill for now." remarked Jed dryly.

Tom went down the hall and came back with the pills. Jed took them and drank some water.

"Jed, Abbey, I have some results back. Let's go over them together" said Tom as he pulled up a chair and motioned for Abbey to sit. Abbey took Jed's hand and waited for Tom to start.

"I got the results of the MRI and some of the results from the spinal tap. I won't beat around the bush. The results do indicate what Abbey thought. I am ready to make a preliminary diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I'm very sorry."

Abbey gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth. Jed just turned his head away from them.

"Go on." croaked Jed.

"Sure, the MRI showed some areas of plaque or scarring in the brain consistent with MS. The results from the tap showed increased immunoglobulins and white blood cells, also consistent with the diagnosis of MS. These results, in addition to the symptoms you've been experiencing and Abbey's observations, lead me to believe you have what is called relapsing/remitting MS. That means you still have a normal life expectancy. The symptoms will come and go. You should recover from each relapse or exacerbation fully. Sometimes it may only last a day or two and no medical intervention will be needed. On the other hand, a relapse could be severe enough to warrant a brief hospital stay for IV steroids. You will be able to handle some relapses at home with oral medication. It's a very unpredictable disease. For now, I would like to start you on Prednisone. We will start that before you leave here. I know this is a lot to comprehend so I'm going to leave now so you have some time to talk. Here is some information you may find helpful. Feel free to write down any questions you may have. I'm going to go home for a few hours; I'll be back around 8:00. Jed, if the headache doesn't get better let us know. I know you have a lot on your mind right now but you do need to get some sleep."

"Yeah, I'll try, thanks for everything" said Jed

Tom patted Jed's shoulder and handed the information to Abbey. Tom squeezed her hand and left them alone to come to terms with the hand they had just been dealt.

For a long time neither Jed nor Abbey spoke. They just held hands,

crying and praying. It was Jed who finally broke the silence.

"We have to make a plan Abigail. I want you to call the girls in a few hours and have them meet us back at the farm. Call my press secretary and have him issue a statement. Nothing specific, I spent a day in the hospital for tests and expect to be back in Concord at my desk by Tuesday morning, something nice and vague"

"Do you want me to tell him the truth?" asked Abbey

"No, nobody finds out, nobody. I want to keep this in the family" insisted Jed.

"OK, but for how long?"

"I don't know. I can't think now, my head hurts and...I just can't think."

Abbey reached over to smooth back his hair and caress his cheek.

"Shhh, it's OK, you don't have to decide anything now. Here, take a drink of water and try to go back to sleep. Do you want me to have the nurse give you something to help you relax?" whispered Abbey.

"No, I'll be fine"

Abbey leaned over kissed his forehead. She turned off the light and pulled the blanket up. When she was sure he was sleeping she crept out of the room to get a cup of coffee and to read the information Tom had left. She nodded to the security team as she headed to the cafeteria.

By 10:00 Jed was more than ready to go. His headache which had all but disappeared after the earlier ibuprofen was starting to return and he was getting very anxious to get out of the hospital. Every time the door opened he expected to see the press. So far things had been quiet. Mike, his press secretary was planning to brief the press in an hour and Jed wanted to be as far away from Boston as possible.

Tom had already been back in to see them and to answer some of their questions. He had arranged for Jed to see a doctor in Concord. He also assured them that no one else in the hospital knew of the diagnosis. He had run all of the tests himself. For that Jed and Abbey would be eternally grateful.

Abbey packed up their things and signed all of the paperwork for his release. Jed resigned himself to taking the required wheelchair ride out to the car, but he was secretly relieved at not having to walk, he was still kind of groggy and weak.

The ride back to the farm went quickly and uneventfully. They arrived around noon to find the girls already waiting. They all ran out to the driveway to greet their parents. The girls were shocked at how tired and worn out their Dad appeared. He tried his best to look cheerful and upbeat but it was a losing battle. He went into the house and all but collapsed on the couch in the living room. Before she could even get near the living room the girls cornered Abbey in the kitchen.

"Mom, what is going on? As far as I knew, as far as the three of us knew, Dad was fine. Then yesterday you call to tell us he is in the hospital for tests, what gives?" demanded Elizabeth, the oldest of the Bartlet daughters.

Abbey took a deep breath and waved them into the living room where Jed was sitting on the couch.

"Jed, you really shouldn't be sitting up, lie down, please" said Abbey, giving him the look that said don't even think about arguing with me. Jed stretched out on the couch and was quickly joined there by Annie, his 5 year old grand-daughter. She snuggled up to him and kissed his cheek. Elizabeth started to take her off the couch but Jed shook his head, no.

Elizabeth, Eleanor and Zoe all looked at Abbey and then at Jed with a combination of confusion and fear. Jed looked to Abbey to speak first.

"Girls, I'm not sure where to start..you know how Dad has always been a little...well..clumsy"

They all groaned, even Jed.

"Seriously, over the past year he has been having some trouble on and off with balance, dizziness and fatigue. He had an episode on Friday that resulted in his falling and my stitching him up." said Abbey.

Zoe moved over to sit on the floor in front of the couch and get a better look at her Dad's cheek.

"That's pretty cool Dad, Mom sewed you up? How come you wouldn't let her sew up my knee when I fell off my bike" she asked with a typical 12-year-old tone in her voice.

"She can sew you up next time, OK?" he promised as he reached over to tousle her hair.

Abbey smiled at the sight of Jed and Annie snuggled together on the couch with Zoe on the floor in front of them, leaning back so her head rested on Jed's shoulder. She took a deep breath and prepared to shatter the moment. But before she could speak Jed took over the story.

"Your Mom and I talked yesterday morning about going to see a friend of hers who is a neurologist. He was able to see us yesterday and run some tests." explained Jed.

"So why did you have to stay overnight, what kind of tests" asked Eleanor.

"I had an MRI and a spinal tap as well as a neurological exam."

Elizabeth and Eleanor's eyes widened at the mention of the MRI and spinal tap. Zoe's 12-year-old innocence kept her from reacting.

Jed nodded for Abbey to continue the story.

"Dad had to rest flat on his back for a few hours after the spinal tap so we ended up staying instead of driving back here in the middle of the night. We got some of the test results back and Tom was able to make a diagnosis based on the results and the symptoms Dad was experiencing. Girls, Dad has Multiple Sclerosis" Abbey paused to give the girls a chance to react.

Elizabeth and Eleanor burst into tears first and Zoe followed along, although she didn't really have any idea what Multiple Sclerosis was. Only Annie kept on singing and laughing. Elizabeth tried to take her off the couch but Jed waved her away again and pulled Annie into a fierce hug. Zoe buried her head in Jed's chest and the other girls knelt down in front of the couch too. Abbey left the 5 of them alone while she went to grab some tissues. She grabbed a box from the kitchen and stood in the archway looking at her family. Jed was surrounded by his daughters and grand-daughter, even Annie was crying by now. She figured if everyone else was crying she was supposed to be crying too.

Abbey crossed the room to join them. When everyone had settled down a bit she told them some more details about MS and about what to expect. Jed told them he wanted to keep his illness private and asked them not to repeat what they had just heard. They all nodded in agreement. The girls had more questions than Abbey could answer so she got out the information Tom had sent home and the book on neurological disorders she had brought home from her office. By that time Jed was yawning and his head was starting to bother him again. Abbey knelt down on the floor next to the couch.

"Honey, take something for your head and go lie down in the guest room. I don't want you climbing the stairs" said Abbey. Jed was too tired to argue. He got up slowly and headed down the hall. Annie ran after him and took his hand.

"Pop-Pop, I'll keep you company, OK?" offered Annie.

"Sure, honey... Elizabeth, Annie's coming with me." yelled Jed down the hall as they walked hand in hand to the guest room.

Abbey and the 2 older girls read the informational sheets and the textbook while Zoe made them all some sandwiches. She wanted to know more about MS but the book was a little too confusing for her to understand. Abbey told her she would explain some more things to her later.

About an hour later Abbey crept down the hall to check on Jed and Annie. She peeked in the door and stifled a laugh. The two of them were on the bed fast asleep, Jed on one side, flat on his back, Annie laying at a 90 degree angle to him with her head on his chest and one little arm thrown over his face, her other arm stretched out over her red curls. Abbey snuck in and removed Annie's arm from Jed's face, kissed them both and covered them up. She went back into the kitchen, giggling.

"Mom what could possibly be so funny at a time like this?" inquired Eleanor who was finishing the last of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Go down the hall and check out your niece and your father" chuckled Abbey.

Elizabeth, Eleanor and Zoe did just that and came back laughing hysterically until more tears started to fall. All too soon the tears of laughter changed into tears of sorrow. Abbey hugged the three of them and said "We will get through this the same way we've always gotten through things, with God's grace, with each other..."

"And with the determination and honor that comes along with being a Bartlet," declared Jed from the doorway of the kitchen. Abbey and the girls smiled at him as he walked over to embrace them all.

THE END

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