You Could Drive a Person Crazy

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Part 1

It was Malibu in the spring, overlooking the ocean. A fundraiser at a

beach house. The sun had dipped beneath the horizon, setting into the

waves far out to sea, and the sky literally glowed with the fading

radiance of the evening sun. Japanese lanterns decorated the huge

patio, and people milled around everywhere.

They had to be the most absolutely boring thing in the world, these

fundraisers. Cozying up to the people you wanted to pump for money, and

pretending to give a damn about what they were saying.

Leo McGarry, the Secretary of Labor, just happened to have been in

California, meeting with the mayor of Los Angeles on something, and had

been invited. Sure, he had $50,000 to drop at a second's notice, but

still...

He'd been sure to have two vodka martinis -- with extra olives -- and

two Valium before he left the hotel, though, otherwise he'd never be the

painfully charming Leo everyone knew.

And now, he was sipping his second goblet of wine.

He stared out at the horizon, contemplating the glass in his hand. He

could hear his wife's voice echoing in his head---Another glass, haven't

you had enough...why didn't you call...Jed called, he's worried about

you again...Leo I can't do this anymore.

He had wanted her to come to California with him but Jenny had refused,

so he came alone. He was spending a lot of time alone lately, alone in

bars, alone in hotels rooms, alone in his office.

He stared at the glass in his hand; tipping his head back he drained it

and turned to grab another from one of the many strolling waiters. As

he reached for the last glass on the tray another hand did the same.

He glanced up -- *way* up -- and into a woman's face. The first thing

he noticed was her eyes, then the embarrassed smile as she released her

grip on the goblet. "I'll just get another one later -- you need one

more than me, after talking to Martin Sheen," the woman apologized,

laughing a little.

"Thanks," Leo said, wondering just who this enigma in front of him was.

"I'm Leo McGarry."

"The Secretary of Labor?" she asked, clearly impressed. "Andi said you

would be here, but..."

"Andi?"

"Andrea Wyatt. The one we're here for. She's trying to get enough

money to make a real stand in the Congressional election. EMILY's List

stepped in with some cash, but what she really needs is a couple more of

these." The woman laughed wryly and grabbed a wine goblet as another

waiter passed. "I'm CJ Cregg, with EMILY's List. I'm also Andrea

Wyatt's publicist." She extended her hand out to him, and he shook it,

marveling at how soft it was.

"It's nice to meet you, CJ."

"Nice to meet you too, Leo" said CJ as she waved to someone who was on

the other side of the patio. Leo watched her as she greeted the man

walking towards them. He was not real tall, balding with a beard and a

completely grumpy look on his face. CJ took him by the arm and

introduced him to Leo.

"Leo McGarry, this is Toby Ziegler, Andrea Wyatt's husband" said CJ as

the men shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

Leo watched as CJ turned to greet yet more people. He turned to say

something more to Toby but Toby was already headed for the bar. Leo

just shook his head at the whole scene. The whole smoozing thing was an

art form he hadn't taken the time to perfect. And now was one of the

times he wished he had perfected it. He moved off to the side and

watched as CJ worked the room. A few times he caught her casting a

glance back at him. He just smiled and winked.

She would blush and get a little smile on her lips and go back to what

she was doing. He didn't know if this was a good sign or not.

He could feel a pull of attraction to her, but he couldn't tell if it

was just him, or... was the alcohol making him fuzzy, imagining that she

was looking back at him?

She was talking to Warren Beatty and Annette Benning when Jack Nicholson

came up and slapped her on the backside. She smiled icily and said

something, carefully removing his hand from her backside, and excused

herself, walking away without paying attention, directly into the

swimming pool.

Leo tossed his wine glass into the bushes and dashed over to the pool.

He extended a hand to CJ, who took it gratefully. Most people were too

busy pointed and snickering to bother offering her some help. Her long

cream colored dress was obviously clinging to her and in all the right

places, mused Leo to himself. He took off his jacket and handed it to

her. Leading her by the elbow he steered them off the patio and around

the side of the house.

She was practically in tears when they stopped beneath an arbor, covered

in roses. "CJ, are you all right?" he asked, holding her by the

shoulders.

"No!" she cried, crying even more. "I'm supposed to be a consummate

professional, and I just walked into a swimming pool in front of the

most elite of Hollywood actors, producers, and writers! I... how am I

going to come back to work in the morning?"

"By knowing that you picked up a few votes by wearing what you're

currently soaked in," he pointed out wryly.

She pulled back away from him and glared. "Okay, that's the last time I

even think about politics. I quit! I swear to God above, I quit!" she

said, storming off. He followed her, as she muttered about how she was

going to climb into the driver's seat of her $80,000 Lexus and ruin the

upholstery. She put the key in the lock and was rewarded with the car

alarm going off. "GODDAMMIT ALL TO FUCKING HELL!" she yelled, kicking

the door and turning around to face none other than Leo. "What do you

want?"

"You look like you could use a ride," he said mildly, taking her keys

and turning off the alarm.

"And your point?"

"I have a limo that the Labor Department rented -- how about you let

Congress pay the bill for new upholstery?" He smiled a little, and was

rewarded by a relieved look in her eyes.

"Okay, I think... I can get a cab back up here tomorrow and pick up my

car," she exhaled, becoming measurably calmer. "I live in LA, up in the

Hills."

"What street?"

"Vieretta Lane."

"Okay, not a problem," he said with a smile. "I have to go back to the

Beverly Hills Hotel, anyway."

"You seem awfully anxious to get away from this thing," she commented as

he walked her over to the limo and tucked her away.

"Well, I am. Schmoozing isn't my thing. And neither is watching tall

wet women go home without helping." He gave the driver instructions,

and they sat back for the hour and a half drive -- more if there was

traffic. "So, how did you take this job?"

"Which one?" She laughed bitterly.

"Either."

"Well, I've been working with EMILY's List for about two years, and

before that, I was in publicity and public relations, so... Andi saw

that on my resume and hired me on the spot." She shrugged. "And how

did you get to be the Secretary of Labor?"

"Good luck and lots of bribes," he muttered.

"Ah, yes, the consummate politician's trick," she laughed, leaning a

little closer. "Thank you for giving me a ride."

"It's not a problem," he replied, biting the inside of his cheek, trying

not to show what kind of an effect she was having on him by being so

close.

"You're staring at me," she accused with a smile.

"Well, you're very attractive."

"You've got to be kidding, right? Me?" She snorted and ran her fingers

through her wet, stringy hair. "Me, the six foot tall wet girl in Anne

Klein?"

"Yes."

She looked back at him and saw that he was being completely serious, and

her mouth went dry. She blinked and finally said, "You've very

handsome, yourself."

"Thank you." He leaned closer and, taking a chance, kissed her very

softly, very gently.

The kiss took both of them by surprise. CJ absently reached over to

grab his left hand. Her fingers brushed over the gold band on his ring

finger and she broke the kiss quickly, glancing down at their entwined

fingers. Leo's gaze followed hers to their hands. She ran her thumb

over the worn ring. Together they looked up and stared at each other in

awkward silence.

"I'm sorry, I, uh, had no idea" stammered CJ as she withdrew her hand

from his.

"It's not your fault, I kissed you, remember?" sighed Leo.

Almost unconsciously they moved a little further apart in the seat.

They both thought a little room between them would be a good idea.

"So, I take it your, uh, wife..." said CJ.

"Jenny"

"Oh, Jenny. She didn't make the trip with you?" asked CJ as she sat

shivering next to Leo.

"No" replied Leo as he fidgeted with his suspenders, wondering what was

in the mini fridge across from him.

She nodded. "I... um... take it you two aren't exactly happy?" She

licked her lips and fidgeted with a wrinkle in the skirt of her dress.

"Right now... not so much," he replied honestly. "It's complicated."

"I bet, with you being an advisor to President Shepherd and everything,"

CJ said, a little sarcasm popping through.

"It's not just that, it's..." Leo hesitated, afraid to say that Jenny

thought he was an alcoholic, lest the words give it power. Or a drug

abuser.

"It's everything, right? And you thought you could use me, the awkward

tall wet woman, to assuage that and give you comfort during the long

lonely night in your hotel room, right?" She was going from angry to

furious. "How dare you."

"Okay, let me point out one thing... we're not going to my hotel, and

you kissed me back." He popped open the mini-fridge and pulled out a

little bottle of vodka, then thought better of it and put it back. He

could taste the heat of the liquor, even though it was all in his mind,

but he wanted to have this discussion as little impaired as possible.

"That's two things," she said coldly, edging away.

"And it wasn't like you said, either."

"What, you really felt something for me?" she taunted, never looking at

him, afraid to even look at him.

"Yes." It was soft, and he didn't realize he had actually said it.

CJ turned her head slowly towards him and stared.

"What?" she asked in her best sarcastic tone.

"Oh, you heard me just fine. What, no witty come back?" said Leo

through clenched teeth.

He leaned over to the fridge again and took out the bottle of vodka. He

downed it in a single gulp and threw the empty bottle on the seat across

from them.

She stared at him for a long time, then shook her head. "I... I can't

believe that."

"Why not? Because I'm married, I can't appreciate another woman?"

"Precisely. You should only have eyes for your wife." She crossed her

arms and stared out the window.

"I haven't had 'eyes' for Jenny, as you put it, for a long time," he

muttered.

CJ didn't quite know how to react to that statement. On one hand she

was attracted to Leo but on the other hand he had a wife, plain and

simple, he was unavailable. But there was just something about him,

something about the pain and loneliness in his eyes that just made her

want to take him into her arms and comfort him.

"So, what's the problem? Between you and Jenny, I mean" asked CJ, still

staring out the window.

"Like I said, things are complicated. Jenny and my daughter, they

think...."

"Wait, you have kids too?" asked CJ

"Yeah, Mallory she's 25. She's a school teacher" replied Leo.

"Oh"

"They think I have a problem with alcohol" whispered Leo.

"Well, do you?" asked CJ

"I don't know." It was plainly that simple. If he did, he didn't know

it. Not for sure, anyway. He hadn't hit bottom, and hoped he never

would.

"Well, don't you think you should try to find out? I mean, I saw you

have five goblets of wine tonight, and that thing of whatever just a few

minutes ago. Can you stop drinking if you try, for one day?" she asked

softly.

"I don't know. I haven't tried."

"Will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Try."

He sighed. "It's not that simple."

"No, it is just that simple.

One day should be enough." She took his hand in hers. "Come see me

tomorrow night, and... if you haven't, well, I mean..." She blushed,

unable to finish what she was trying to say.

"I have to leave for Washington in the morning."

"Oh, well, then I guess that won't...uh, maybe you could call me" said

CJ, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Yeah, I'd like that" said Leo with a small smile.

CJ reached into her bag and took out her card and a pen. On the back of

the card she put her home number. She pressed it into Leo's hand. He

stared at it for a minute and put it in his wallet.

The rest of the trip was spent alternating between awkward silence and

forced conversation. They shared very few personal details, focusing

instead on their jobs and politics in general.

But something hung in the air between them, something that was almost

indescribable.

When they drove up the hill to her house, she was almost relieved to

have sitting beside him over. But that was before he kissed the back of

her hand.

"Do you... want to come in and have a drink of water or something?" she

asked.

"I'd like that," he answered softly.

They never did have that drink. They made it to the couch and stayed

there all night long, making love, cuddling, whispering truths and

half-truths about their lives to each other.

It was vaguely comforting.

That was, until the light of day.

Leo woke first. He grabbed as many articles of his clothing as he could

find and went to the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and

stared at his reflection. He stared as if he didn't recognize the face

staring back at him. He had never before, not in all the years of their

marriage, cheated on Jenny. Sure, there had been plenty of

opportunities through the years but he had never acted on them. And it

was something he had been strangely proud of.

He backed up to sit on the edge of the tub. Putting his head in his

hands he sobbed. After a few minutes he started the shower and stepped

in, trying to wash away the guilt he felt. The worst part was the fact

that he was actually surprised at the way he felt. He had been telling

himself that things were over with Jenny for a long time. But his

guilty feelings told him otherwise.

When he came out of the shower, CJ was standing there in a plaid robe,

holding a mug of coffee out to him. "You probably want to go now," she

said, turning her back on him, determined not to let him see her cry.

She had had one night stands before, but this felt different. This was

someone she could care about, not just use and discard. Scratch that --

this was someone she did care about, all of a sudden.

"Look, it's..."

"Complicated. I know. It always is. Go home to your wife and tell her

you love her," she said, wiping away the lone tear that trickled down

her cheek. "I'm sorry it took me for you to figure out you really do

love her more than you thought."

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm not," he said quietly. "You are

a beautiful woman, CJ Cregg. And you are brilliant, funny, smart...

you're going to find someone soon who will be able to..." he broke off

with a growl of frustration. He couldn't stand how he felt for her.

Couldn't stand how he felt for Jenny. Couldn't understand why he was

caught between them.

"If Andi gets elected, I'll be coming to Washington," CJ interjected.

"And you don't need to worry about me telling anyone about this. EVER.

I know how much it would hurt you politically."

"Thank you" whispered Leo as he gathered the rest of his things and

finished the coffee.

He left the apartment in silence; never looking back towards the door.

Something that CJ was grateful for, she didn't need to have him see her

cry.

The plane ride home was pure torture for Leo. He was exhausted but

couldn't sleep, he tried to work but his mind kept wandering and most of

all he wanted a drink. But he made it through flight without one. He

couldn't remember the last time that had happened; usually he was on his

third drink by the time the plane began to taxi down the runway. He

even made it past the airport bars without stopping. He decided the

best thing to do would be to throw himself right into his work. The car

dropped him off at the office without stopping at home first.

Margaret was sitting at her desk outside his office when he came in.

"Leo! I thought you were going to..."

"Change of plans," he growled, going into his office and slamming the

door shut behind him.

Margaret just stared after him, wondering what had gotten his boxers in

a twist. But then, she stopped short and reminded herself that she'd

seen him act like this before -- usually after he and Jenny fought and

he went out, got drunk, and spent the night looking at beautiful women.

And she had to go pick him up and drive him home. It really was a

thankless job, but his thanks was all she needed.

But this time, there was something different about his attitude. It was

almost like, this time...

No, she thought, sitting back down to answer the phone, no, he wouldn't

cheat on Jenny. Not after all they've been through together.

She got off the phone quickly and poured a cup of coffee for Leo.

Grabbing his schedule and a couple of Advil from her desk drawer she

quietly went into his office.

Leo was reading and didn't look up when she came in. She sat down in

the chair across from the desk and coughed softly.

"Margaret, I saw you come in, what do you want?" growled Leo.

"OK, I can see how this day is going to be...." muttered Margaret.

"MARGARET, what?" asked Leo quickly losing what little patience he had

left.

"Here's your schedule, coffee and a couple of Advil. Let me know if you

need anything else." replied Margaret.

She stood up and walked towards the door, slowly.

"Margaret, I'm sorry. I'm just tired and crabby from the time

difference." said Leo softly.

"It's OK. By the way, Jed called a little while ago. He wants you to

call him back when you get a chance" Margaret said over her shoulder.

"Thanks"

Leo sat back down and sighed. He was positive that Margaret could see

right through him. He figured he might as well pin a letter to his

chest. Running his fingers through his hair he reached for the phone to

call his best friend.

"Governor Bartlet's office," came the gruff voice of Delores Landingham.

"Hello, Mrs. Landingham, it's Leo McGarry -- does he have a few

minutes?"

"Why yes, Leo, I'll put you right through. By the way, when are you

going to come up here for a visit?"

"Whenever I can make the time, Mrs. Landingham."

"Okay -- I'm putting you through now."

"Thank you."

"Have a nice day, Leo."

*Yeah, sure, have a nice day. I just cheated on my wife and...*

"Leo, nice of you to call back," Jed commented dryly. "Margaret said

you were more than a tad snarky this morning."

"It's not morning, it's like 3 in the afternoon."

"Yeah, I see what she meant... How was California?"

"It was California."

"Leo..."

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong?"

"You're not your usual chipper self, which means you haven't had

anything to drink today. Which makes me believe that something is

terribly, TERRIBLY wrong. Talk to me."

Leo sighed. "You have to swear... swear you won't tell anyone."

"I promise, Leo."

"EVER."

"Ever."

Leo took a deep breath, then said in a rush, "I met someone last night

at this fundraiser for Andrea Wyatt, and..."

"And?"

"I cheated on Jenny. But Jed, she's brilliant and... beautiful, and

funny and... "

"Were you drunk?"

"Not anymore than usual."

"Were you deranged?"

"NO!"

"Insane?"

"No."

"THEN WHY?!"

Leo could practically feel Jed's voice vibrating through the phone as he

yelled. And of the course that yelling only further increased the

pounding in his head.

"I don't know" whispered Leo, "It just happened. It was an accident"

"It just happened. You accidentally slept with someone other than your

wife. What does accidentally mean, did you trip over something?"

growled Jed as he tried to remain in control.

"Jed, please...I feel bad enough already" whined Leo.

"Do you, do you really feel bad about what you did?" asked Jed.

"Yes" whispered Leo.

Margaret entered Leo's office quietly.

"President Shepherd is on the other line"

Leo nodded.

"Look, I have to go, the President is on the phone. I'll talk to you

later."

"Oh, you can be sure of that, my friend" said Jed as he all but slammed

down the phone.

~~~~

"Did you have a nice ride home?" Andi inquired, cautiously playing with

the paperweight on CJ's desk.

"Did you have a nice rest of the time at the party?" CJ inquired, taking

the paperweight out of Andi's hands. "If you have something to say to

me, just say it."

"Fine -- did you sleep with Leo McGarry?"

"No."

"Okay. I was just wondering, because it would make things that much

more difficult. For both of us." Andi sighed. "Toby wants me to

institute a policy change on the environment."

"What kind of a change?" CJ asked, relieved to have the subject changed.

"He wants me to take a firmer stand on pollution standards. Is

that...?"

"That would alienate some of your constituents, but overall, it would be

great," CJ said. "Want me to pull together a memo on it?"

"Yes, please... are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? You just don't look very well."

"I'm fine."

"Okay -- I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Or sooner, depending how many more fuck-ups your husband gets me into,"

CJ teased with a depreciative laugh.

CJ watched as Andi left the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Kill me now" moaned CJ as her head hit the desk.

She spent the rest of the day on auto-pilot. She thought frequently

about Leo and the night they had spent together. She wondered if he had

made good on his promise not to drink for the day. Somehow she doubted

he would make it through the entire day.

And she was right.

~~~~~~~~~~

Leo arrived home a little before 8, early for him. Jenny was out to

dinner with friends. He showered and changed into jeans and a

sweatshirt. He grabbed the Times and a pen out of his briefcase.

Without even thinking he took a beer out of the fridge and went to the

den to sit and do the crossword puzzle. He was more than halfway

through the beer when he realized what he was doing. More disturbing to

him than the fact that he hadn't made it through an entire day was the

fact that he drank without even realizing it. It was utterly second

nature to him. And that scared him.

He went back to the bedroom and pulled the scrap of paper with CJ's

phone number on it out of his pants' pocket. He dialed fast and

furiously, and waited.

"Hello?"

"CJ -- it's Leo McGarry."

"Hi." Her voice was small and very quiet.

"I didn't make it."

"Do you think you have a problem now?" she asked.

"Yes, and I think last night... last night was because of..."

"Don't say that." Her voice was suddenly very sharp. "Just don't say

it was a mistake -- not to me. Say it to anyone else, but don't ever

say that to me."

"I wasn't going to say it was a mistake. I was going to say I think it

was because I was drinking so much, and...."

"Get help, Leo. Ask your wife and daughter for help. Just... just get

some help, please."

"I..."

"Please."

"I will" whispered Leo as he gently hung up the phone.

He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get rid of the familiar

aftertaste of alcohol. The sound on the front door opening sent him

into a panic. He had figured Jenny would be much later and he would be

asleep by the time she returned.

"Dad, you here?" called Mallory from the foyer.

Leo gave a small sigh of relief. Although he wasn't looking forward to

facing his daughter either he was glad it wasn't Jenny.

"Yeah, up here. Be down in a minute" he yelled as he took a quick look

in the mirror. He looked better than he had earlier in the day but he

still looked tired and sad. He tried to plaster on a convincing smile

as he went down the stairs.

Mallory was in the kitchen with her head stuck in the fridge when he

found her.

"Hey, I thought you moved out so you could cook for yourself" teased

Leo.

Mallory stood up straight and turned to give him a hug and a kiss. She

took a step back and took a good look at him.

"Dad, you ok?" she asked trying to mask her concern.

"Yeah, fine" lied Leo. "Mom's not here, she went out to dinner"

"I know, I came to talk to you" said Mallory.

"Oh?" He tried not to sound panicked.

"Yeah. Jed called left a message on my machine, saying I needed to talk

to you about something. What?" She looked more than a little worried.

"It's nothing."

"Dad?"

"Look, he shouldn't have gotten you involved in this." Leo rubbed his

forehead. "I... I'm going to get changed and go out, okay? If you're

still here when your mom gets home..."

"Yeah, right, I'm your flunky. Is that it? Well, fuck you, anyway."

Mallory walked out and he heard the front door slam, and the sound of

her gunning the engine of her car in the driveway.

He sighed and grabbed his car keys.

Once on the road, he drove and drove, not really knowing where he was

going, but his car found its way north, and he suddenly found himself on

the familiar trek to the Governor's mansion in Concord.

That's when he decided it had to stop.

He parked in the parking lot of a liquor store and went inside. Half a

bottle of bourbon later, he got out of the car and sat on the sidewalk.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bottle of Valium, just

contemplating it, how easy it would be.

His cell phone rang. He wanted to ignore it, but... "Hello?"

"LEO, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

He hung up, not wanting to listen to his wife.

He stared at the phone for a while, expecting her to call back. Sure

enough, 10 minutes later it rang. He glanced at the screen, it wasn't

Jenny, it was Jed.

He suddenly felt very alone and helpless.

"Jed?"

"Leo, where are you? Jenny just called, she's going out of her mind

worrying about you." said Jed, totally in control and completely calm.

Something Leo found to be very disconcerting.

"I'm at a liquor store somewhere right off of Rt. 93. I'll call you

with an address"

"Should I assume you are in no shape to drive?" asked Jed.

"Yeah" whispered Leo.

"OK, stay there. I'll be there in a little while."

"Jed, thanks..."

"Yeah"

Jed hung up the phone and called for Mrs. Landingham. She appeared in

the doorway to his office with a concerned look on her face.

"He hit the bottom?"

"Yeah" replied Jed sadly. "I'll be back in a few hours"

Part 2

CJ's life went back to normal, and she actually managed to put Leo

McGarry out of her thoughts. Andrea Wyatt was elected in November, and

in January, CJ moved to Washington. She got a little apartment near the

OEOB and the White House, a tiny studio, actually, and she worked and

slaved out of that one little room.

Andi and Toby invited her over to their house for a dinner party one

night, and she refused to go, until Andi promised she would have a

week's vacation if she did.

Which is how she found herself sitting directly across the table from

Leo McGarry and his wife.

Leo had made the introductions calmly and without hesitation. Dinner

was almost bearable. Leo tried his best not to keep looking across the

table at CJ and she did the same. One thing that struck CJ as important

was the fact that during dinner Leo drank club soda, nothing else.

After dinner Jenny went off to talk to some of the other guests, leaving

CJ and Leo outside on the porch. Leo motioned towards a pair of chairs

and they sat.

"Leo, I had no idea you would be here, I wouldn't have come if I would

have known" said CJ.

"That's crazy, we're adults, we can handle this. I'm just curious

though, does Andi know what happened?"

"No, she asked me and I lied to her face" said CJ with more than a hint

of bitterness in her voice.

"Thank you"

"I, uh, noticed you didn't drink at dinner" remarked CJ softly.

"No, I didn't. I don't anymore. I guess I 'hit the bottom'. Spent

some time in rehab. It's hard but I think I'm going to be ok"

"What about Jenny?" asked CJ.

"Do you really want to know?" asked Leo curiously.

"Yes. I do"

He shrugged. "It's better, but... I don't know if we can make it work."

"Ah."

"Yeah." He looked away and sighed a bit.

"What's the matter?"

"You look as beautiful as I remembered."

"No, Leo, we're not even going to go there." She shook her head and

held up her hand in a motion for him to stop. "You broke my heart once,

I can't let you do it again."

"I understand" he said nodding. "Would I sound like the biggest jerk in

the world if I said I really want us to just be friends?"

"Oh my God, no, not the let's be friends line, that's the kiss of death"

said CJ trying not to laugh.

The truth was, she had been thinking about that very idea for a while

now. When the idea first occured to her it was too soon after their

night together. But now, months later, she was able to put things in to

perspective. She genuinely liked Leo and the thought of having him as a

friend appealed to her.

"Well, maybe it is the kiss of death, but..." He chuckled a little

bit. "I missed you. A lot. I wanted to call you and tell you I was in

Sierra-Tuscon, but..." He shrugged. "They would have told Jenny, and

how could I ..."

"Explain it to her?"

"Yeah."

"It's okay," she said with a small smile. "Look, I hate to do this, but

I have to go -- I have a meeting in the morning, and one with your

office in the afternoon."

"Huh?"

"What, your assistant didn't tell you? I have a meeting with you at

2:30, on some of Andi's policies on labor."

"You're kidding."

"Nope -- I was wishing I was, but... now..." She stood up and brushed

imaginary dirt off of her skirt. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?" she

asked, offering him her hand.

"Tomorrow" said Leo softly as he watched her go back into the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo got to the office at the usual 6:30. Margaret was already at her

desk.

"Morning Leo" she said as she handed him his messages and schedule.

"Hey Margaret, how come you didn't tell me I was meeting with CJ Cregg

this afternoon?"

"CJ Cregg?" repeated Margaret."Oh, is that who is coming over from

Congresswoman Wyatt's office? I didn't know who they were sending.

Why, is there a problem?"

"No, not at all"

"Have you met her before" asked Margaret as she walked to get him a cup

of coffee.

"Yeah, in California a while ago. So what else in on the schedule for

today?"

They sat in his office and went over his schedule. Margaret returned to

her desk, confused by Leo's suddenly chipper mood. As she sat down she

remembered how Leo had looked when he had returned from that trip to

California. She sighed to herself as everything came together in her

mind. CJ Cregg was the one.

In the afternoon, Margaret looked up to find a tall woman standing in

front of her desk. "I'm from Andrea Wyatt's office -- I have an

appointment with Secretary McGarry."

"You're CJ Cregg?" Margaret asked, her jaw dropping.

"Yes."

"Um, okay, go on in..."

Margaret kept her eyes on CJ until she closed the door behind her.

Margaret thought about the possiblity that she might be mistaken about

CJ's past encounter with Leo. But she remembered all too clearly the

mood Leo had been in when he had returned from California.

"Now what" she muttered to herself as she went back to typing Leo's

memos.

CJ was in Leo's office for over 2 hours. Margaret heard both of them

laughing and joking many times during their meeting. When the door

opened and CJ emerged Margaret gave her a forced smile and a small wave

as she turned down the hall.

Leo appeared at her desk instantly, smiling and in a far better mood

than he had been in weeks, no, make that months.

"Here are your messages" said Margaret coldly as she handed him a stack

of pink papers.

"Something wrong?" asked Leo in a overly sweet voice.

"Nothing" replied Margaret sharply as she turned back to her computer.

"Whatever" muttered Leo as he whistled his way back into his office.

Margaret slammed her desk drawer shut, and decided to stop thinking

about it. It really was none of her business if he was sleeping with

CJ. It was really none of her business if they had been...

She shuddered at the very thought and answered the phone.

~~~~

CJ had to come back to Leo's office serveral times in the next few weeks

because of Andi's business. And she and Leo kept getting closer and

closer. Not to mention that closeness kept bringing them closer and

closer to what they had done before. It was an unavoidable pitfall,

considering he dreamed about her, and she caught herself thinking about

him instead of her work.

And then it happened.

They were in his office, joking around about how Andrea thought that the

Republicans ought to just wear flags on their backs that said "KICK ME",

when he said, "You have the sexiest laugh I've ever heard." And leaned

forward. And kissed her.

An hour later, they were both pulling their clothes back on and trying

to pretend nothing had happened.

And failing miserably.

CJ snuck out Leo's side door to avoid Margaret. She had the feeling

that Margaret knew the truth. She was positive Leo hadn't told her but

everytime she saw Margaret there was a look of distrust in her eyes.

Leo pulled himself together as best he could without a mirror. He sat

at his desk thinking for a long time after CJ had gone. His eyes turned

towards the photos on his shelf. He stood up slowly and walked over

towards them. There was a photo of himself, Jenny and Mallory taken a

few years earlier, one of Jed and Abbey holding Mallory at her

christening all those years ago, one of himself and Jed taken last year

in New Hampshire and finally a photo of Jenny on their wedding day,

nearly 30 years earlier. He picked it up and ran a shaky hand over the

image. He set it down and returned to his desk. With his head in his

hands he sobbed silently.

But not as silently as he had thought.

Margaret stood at the closed door to Leo's office. She had heard the

other door open a little while earlier and knew CJ had gone. She was

about to go in with some papers for Leo to sign when she heard the sound

of sobbing through the door. She knew then and there that her

suspicions were correct. Determined not to make a scene she knocked

softly and wait for Leo to respond.

He pulled himself together, and called, "Come in."

Margaret entered silently. "Do you want me to call the car?" she asked.

"No. I'm... what do you mean, call the car?" he asked sharply.

"Leo, I..."

"Yeah, call the car. I'm going home. I can't take this today." He ran

a hand through his hair and sighed sadly. "I... Margaret... when...

when you look at me... "

"When I look at you, I see a man with demons and angels, and right now,

your demons are winning," she replied, handing him the papers and a

pen. "Sign here, here, and here."

He signed, and nodded slowly, without looking his assistant in the eye.

"I think you're right."

"Do you love Jenny?"

"Yes. And no."

"Do you love... CJ Cregg?"

His eyes met hers, and he flinched. "How did you..."

"I'm psychic," she muttered dryly.

"Yes. I think I love her."

"Well, you've got to make a choice, Leo, and you're gonna have to stick

by it." With that, she turned and left to call the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks flew by. Leo was able to basically avoid both CJ and

Jenny. His business with Andi's office had all but been concluded the

day he and CJ had made love in his office. He had talked to CJ a few

times but the hadn't really seen each other. His job, with its long

hours, gave him reason to avoid going home very much. He had spent more

than one night in his office. He knew Jenny was starting to worry that

he was drinking again. But he wasn't, it was hard but he was determined

not to add any more fuel to the fire that was threatening to destroy his

very soul.

At the end of a particularly long week he found himself driving north,

to New Hampshire, to Jed and hopefully to the voice of reason. He had

called ahead this time so Jed was expecting him. It was nearly 2:00 on

Saturday morning when he pulled into the circular drive of Jed's

Manchester farmhouse. Jed sat waiting for him on the front porch swing.

"I did it again," Leo said, rubbing his forehead.

"Did... what again?"

"I slept with the woman again."

"Leo, are you out of your fucking mind?!"

Leo sat down and sighed. "Yeah, Jed. I think I am."

~~~~

"Andi, I can't," CJ said, shaking her head and pushing the paper across

the table. "I have to quit."

"WHY?!"

"Private reasons. I'm sorry I can't elaborate, but..."

"Will you consider coming back?"

"Maybe. I've already got a job lined up at Triton-Day in Beverly Hills,

so..."

"You're the spin goddess, CJ. I don't know what I'll do without you,"

Andi said honestly.

"You'll find someone else," CJ assured her. "And I'll keep in touch. I

just... I can't stay in Washington."

"Okay. I guess... I guess I'll see you, sometime, later, then?"

"Yeah."

CJ stood up and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later CJ was stuffing the last of her belongings into her car

in preparation for her cross country drive. She was actually looking

forward to the drive. It would give her some much needed time to

think. And she had a lot of thinking to do.

She had debated whether or not to see Leo before she left. She had come

to the conclusion that a simple note would be best. She knew what would

happened if they saw each other.

The last thing she did before pulling away from the curb was to walk to

the corner and drop the letter to Leo in the mailbox. Since it was

Saturday she figured she would be well on her way to California by the

time he got it Monday morning.

And she was, by the time Margaret handed him his mail late Monday

morning CJ was crossing the Mississippi.

Leo stared at the familiar handwriting as he sat down to open it with

shaking hands. He took notice of the fact that there was no return

address.

"Dear Leo," he read.

"I know this is abrupt, but I'm moving back to California. I think it's

for the best. I have a new job, and... well... It's a good one. No

more politicians, as far as I can see.

"I'll miss you, and this time, I'm breaking my own heart by writing

this. I'm sorry, Leo, but... go home to Jenny.

"Love, CJ"

Leo read it twice, folded it up and stuffed it in the back of his desk

drawer. He called for Margaret to come in. She entered his office and

knew by the look on his face that something was wrong. The day had

started out well, he had been in a fairly good mood. Recalling the

envelope that looked more personal than professional she had a pretty

good idea of what, or more importantly who, was responsible for his

sudden change in mood.

"You have a meeting with President Shepherd in an hour and a half and

you need to return some phone calls before you leave" said Margaret,

struggling to keep any emotion out of her voice.

"OK" said Leo in an equally flat tone as he reached for the stack of

phone messages.

Margaret looked at him for a moment while she decided whether or not to

keep quiet or risk saying something. She sat down in the chair in front

of Leo's desk. She took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to

the wind.

"Leo are you ok? You seem a little..." she started with some hesitation

in her voice.

"I'm fine" said Leo, cutting her off abruptly. He was sure the

direction the conversation was about to take and he wanted to cut it off

as quickly as possible.

"Can I just say...that I'm worried about you...and worried that you'll,

ya know..."

"Take a drink" said Leo completing her thought.

"Yeah. Look, I know none of this is my business, but was that letter

from CJ?"

Leo nodded and leaned forward to prop his elbows up on his desk. He

rested his head on his clasped hands and took a deep breath.

"She left, she quit her job and moved back to California. Guess you're

happy, you never liked her anyway" he said bitterly.

Margaret tried not to take his words and more importantly his tone,

personally.

Leo unclasped his hands and dropped his head down on the desk wearily

when he realized he had just tried to pick a fight with the one person

in his life who was trying to be nice to him.

"Leo, that's not true. I'm sure she's a lovely person and under

different circumstances things would have been, well...different" she

said slowly.

Leo picked up his head and gave Margaret a weak smile. She stood up to

leave. She took one last look at her boss. He looked downright

miserable and with good reason, she thought to herself.

"You need anything else?" she asked.

"A bottle of water and a couple of Advil would be nice about now" said

Leo as he picked up the phone.

Margaret returned to his office a few minutes later with water and

Advil. She put them on his desk. As she turned to leave he grabbed her

hand and gave it a squeeze. Her eyes met his and he gave her a wink and

a grateful smile.

"Thank you" he mouthed silently as he dropped her hand.

She left with a smile and the knowledge that somehow, some way, things

would work out for the best.

"Look, Isobel, I know I can't take a maternity leave until after I've

been here a year, but I think under the circumstances..."

"CJ, even so..."

CJ growled something undistinguishable.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. Look... I'll... I'll.... take two week's unpaid leave,

and.... find a live-in nanny," CJ finally said, throwing her hands in

the air in exasperation. "I just need this job to be here still after

I've had the baby."

"Two weeks unpaid leave," Isobel finally agreed. "And you'd better

start looking for that nanny."

"Yeah," CJ muttered, leaving Isobel's office and heading back to her

desk. She sat down in her rolling chair, grateful for the little bit of

freedom it gave her, and slid as close to the desk as she could. Which

was getting to be a challenge in itself, considering her size.

"Ceej -- we need twelve mock-ups on that Emmy ad by the end of the day.

Start talking to someone at the studio," Carol called from her desk. As

CJ's assistant, the job of keeping Claudia Cregg's big mouth in line

fell on all her.

"Okay.... get me Nathan Hartman," CJ ordered, not having the time or

inclination to feel sorry for herself -- unnwed, no plans of getting

married, pregnant, and in love with a married man.

~~~~

"Richard, did you really have to drag me along for this little

experiment of how to court your girlfriend when you're a celebrity with

tons of money?" CJ teased her boyfriend.

"Well, I want the world to see you on my arm -- beautiful, intelligent,

glowing with maternal..."

"Stop right there or I will hit you with my bag," she promised.

"Okay, but you look absolutely dazzling... sexy..."

"Shut up," she hissed, blushing.

"Ravishing," he finished, putting his hand on the small of her back to

guide her into the party.

The first person she saw was Leo McGarry.

"I'm going home," she gasped, turning away. She couldn't let him see

her like this.... couldn't let him see her pregnant with their child.

It would only make things more complicated than they already were.

She hoped with all her heart that Leo hadn't noticed her. But, she

shouldn't have bothered. At 6 feet tall with red hair she was pretty

noticable on a normal day but this day she was also almost 7 months

pregnant.

Leo looked at her for a moment, a million thoughts rushing through his

head. Then he noticed Richard standing next to her, holding her hand.

"Boy, she sure got over me quick" he muttered to himself as he walked

over to greet her.

"CJ',"Leo" they said at the same time.

They shared awkward kisses on the cheek and CJ introduced Leo to

Richard. She was hoping they would start a conversation and she could

sneak away but as usual, luck was not on her side. Richard's cellphone

rang and he excused himself to take the call outside. Leo stepped back

and took a good look at CJ, on his mind was the obvious question.

"How are you?" she asked, determined to ignore his scrutiny.

"I'm okay -- CJ..."

"Yes?"

"Is the baby..."

She took a deep breath and said, "Leo, if it was, I certainly wouldn't

tell you so."

"Why not?"

"Because. You're married. You have children of your own. I wouldn't

want you to be ashamed of anything."

"But is..."

"Leo."

"Sweetheart?" Richard said, stepping back up. "I'm going to be on the

phone for a while. Do you want me to send something over for you to

drink?"

"Yes, please," she replied with a sweet smile. "Just some water."

"Okay," he said, heading off again.

"You're going out with Richard Fowler?" Leo asked in disgust.

"What's wrong with Richard?" she hissed, bristling.

"He's a little... well... snobbish."

"Leo McGarry, he's nothing of the kind!" She frowned. "I think you're

just jealous." She stepped back, aghast at what she'd just said. "I...

I... I need air."

"We're outside," he pointed out dryly.

"Whatever" muttered CJ as she attempted to walk away from him.

Leo caught up to her quickly, catching her by the elbow and leading her

towards a bench. She wanted to refuse to sit but her aching back and

feet got the best of her and she sat down. Leo sat next to her, a little

too close for her comfort level. She scooted over to the edge of the

bench and let out a large sigh.

"So are you going to answer my question?" asked Leo.

"What question was that Leo?" asked CJ sarcastically.

"Oh, for God's sake CJ. Is the kid mine?" he yelled getting the

attention of more than one guest.

CJ's hand shot out and slapped him across the cheek.

"Well, that was a charming development," he muttered, rubbing his

cheek. "People, we're playacting," he shouted.

"Yeah right," CJ mumbled, getting to her feet and walking away. Leo

caught up with her inside, and took her into the small half-bath beneath

the staircase. "Leo..."

"Is it mine?" he asked, his voice hard and cold as ice.

"For God's sake..."

"Just answer me. I'll send money, I'll make sure the baby's taken care

of if it's mine..."

"You go to hell for saying that!"

"WHAT?!"

"You are..."

"Is it mine?"

"Yes, Leo, you were the only person I was with almost seven months ago!"

she said angrily. "Of course it's yours -- why the hell else..."

She stopped and shook her head, very upset. "No, Leo, I don't want you

rmoney. I don't want your condescending attitude towards my child,

either. I don't want you in our lives. You belong with your wife and

daughter. Just... stay out of my life." She left and slammed the door

shut behind her. She found Richard and told him she was going home, and

took his limo back to her house.

And she cried the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo spent the entire cross country flight fidgeting in his first class

seat, trying to read, work, watch the movie, anything to keep from

ordering a drink from the ever present flight attendant. He was on his

third class of club soda when he decided to just turn off the light and

try to get some sleep.

But sleep was just beyond his reach, he was exhausted, but everytime he

closed his eyes he saw CJ before him. He could hear her voice, smell her perfume, feel her hand slapping him. Finally somewhere over Ohio he fell into a restless sleep.

When the plane landed, he went home, and even Jenny had to admit that

something was wrong with him. But he wouldn't talk to anyone, not even

his best friend.

A few weeks later, Leo read in the paper that Richard Fowler had married

one Claudia J. Cregg, and knew with dreaded certainty that it was his

CJ. HIS CJ?! When did that happen?

A few days later, she made the news again, this time with a birth

announcement. "Rose Anne Fowler, 18 inches, 5 pounds, 5 ounces, was

born 1 month prematurely to studio chairman Richard Fowler and his wife,

Claudia Cregg, this morning at 12:02 AM. Rose is in good condition, and

is expected to be released from the hospital in a few weeks."

Leo sighed and put away the paper. "MARGARET!"

Margaret came into the room with a scowl. "You don't have to scream at

me," she snapped.

"Fine, whatever -- send a dozen roses to Claudia Cregg, via Richard

Fowler's office, please."

"CJ Cregg?" she asked, taking notes. "Why?"

"Because, she just had a baby."

"Oh."

Margarent nodded slowly. "What do you want on the card, Leo?"

"Congratulations, love, Leo," he said, his tone clipped.

Margaret closed the door behind her. She sat at her desk for a minute

before ordering the flowers. She pulled out the newspaper she hadn't

had a chance to read yet. She found the birth announcement, scanning it

quickly and counting back on her fingers she let out a big sigh.

She spent the rest of the day keeping a close eye on Leo. Around 8 that

night she went to check on him. He had been in his office alone for a

few hours. He hadn't bothered her, come out or eaten dinner. She

grabbed a cup of coffee and quietly opened the door. Leo was in his

chair with his feet on the desk, sound asleep. There was a piece of

paper in his hands and he was still wearing his glasses. Margaret

pulled the paper from his hands. Curiousity got the best of her and she

read it. It was the note CJ had sent him when she left town. She

folded it up and put it under the blotter of his desk. She removed his

glasses, turned off the light and went to call Jenny and tell her where

he was. She knew Jenny had been worried about him for over a month,

ever since his trip to the west coast. And now Margaret was pretty sure

she knew why he had been so upset.

~~~~

"Hi, sweetheart," Richard said, sitting down beside CJ on the edge of

the hospital bed.

"Hi," she replied with a smile.

"How do you feel?"

"Sore, tired, worried about Rosie... but I'm okay, I think," she

replied.

"Well, I brought these for you," Richard said, presenting her with a

huge bouquet of carnations and roses. "And some flowers arrived at my

office for you from Leo McGarry."

He couldn't help but notice her flinch.

"Oh, that's nice" she said trying not to show any emotion.

"I didn't know you knew McGarry that well" remarked Richard.

CJ looked at him and in her heart she knew it was time to tell Richard

just how well she knew Leo McGarry.

"Yeah, I've known him for a while now. We were, uh, for a while..." CJ

stopped suddenly as tears sprang forth fueled by hormones and too little

sleep.

Richard sat on the bed and pulled his wife into his arms.

"CJ, honey, is Leo..."

He didn't have to finish the question. He felt her nod her head into

his shoulder as she sobbed.

"Oh, sweetheart, I... I know how hard... I think I know.... oh, hell, I

have no idea how hard this is for you," he finally said, holding her as

she cried. "But I want you to know that, no matter what, I love you and

Rosie."

"I know," she whispered, hiccuping. "And I love you, too."

"It's gonna be fine," he promised.

~~~~

She remembered that promise two years later, when their divorce became

final. He made provisions for supporting Rose and CJ even though he had

no legal obligations to do so.

It was an amicable split. He fell in love with an actress, and it

didn't hurt CJ that much, because she was still in love with Leo. And

they divorced.

There was no blood, no pain.

It was simple and clean.

CJ continued to work at Triton-Day, and Richard paid for a full-time

nanny for Rose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo left the cabinet about the time Rose Fowler celebrated her first

birthday. He had thought about sending something but decided against

it. CJ had never contacted him after Rose's birth.

He had spent the last year on the lecture circuit. He was quite a

popular speaker and found the whole experience enjoyable. Jenny went

with him once in a while but mostly he travelled alone. Their marriage

was becoming more and more a marriage of convenience. They both knew it

but neither one wanted to take the next step.

Leo had spent a fair amount of time with Jed. Although Leo never

admitted to Rose's parentage deep down Jed knew the truth. He didn't

push Leo to talk about CJ and for that Leo was grateful.

In his mind Leo saw big things for Jed. He had come to the farmhouse in

New Hamphire on this warm summer night to share his vision. They were

sitting on the front porch watching Jed's granddaughter chase fireflies.

"OK, Leo, what's up?" asked Jed warily.

Leo took a deep breath.

"How does President Josiah Barlet sound to you?" asked Leo as he turned

to face Jed.

"President Josiah Bartlet?" Jed repeated, laughing. "Leo, you have gone

completely batty. Dotty. Idiotic."

"I'm being serious, Jed. Just... just think about it, okay?"

~~~~

The phone rang and CJ rolled over to grab it. "Hello? Isobel... it's

six-thirty in the morni... okay, fine." She set the receiver back onto

the cradle and groaned, slowly sitting up and running her hands through

her hair.

She took a five minute shower and threw on some clothes. It was her day

off -- why was Isobel calling her in, especially at THIS hour in the

morning?!

She made sure that Desiree and Rose were settled in front of breakfast

and "Winnie-the-Pooh" on the Disney Channel before running out to the

car. She bitched the whole way down to Beverly Hills because she had to

wear her glasses, since she couldn't get her contacts in.

And then, when she got out of the car in the underground garage, her

glasses fell off and shattered on the cement. "Oh great -- what ELSE

can go wrong today?!" she yelled to no one in particular, though several

people stopped to stare at her.

By the time she got home, she was fuming.

How could Isobel fire her?! She needed that job to make house

payments! She needed...

There was a car sitting in her driveway, where she knew there should not

be one. It had a rental car sticker on the bumper, she could tell

through the fuzz that was her eyesight. But who would...?

She let herself into the back yard and headed for the back door. "Hi,

CJ."

"Who's that?" she asked, squinting at the blur sitting in her pool

chair.

"It's me."

"Toby? What are you.... AUGH!" She fell into the pool, nearly choking

to death on her way back up.

She tried not to focus on their conversation as she climbed out fo the

pool and dried off, because she felt like an idiot. But when Toby told

her about the campaign, she sort of perked up a bit. And then he said

that Leo wanted her.

"McGarry wants me?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Does he know I've only ever worked statewide, not on a national

campaign?" she asked, still unable to get over Leo wanting HER.

"It's graduation day."

"Well... come inside, and we'll talk about it." She headed off, and

Toby stopped her.

"CJ, the house is that way."

"Okay."

Once inside, a little bundle of pure energy came streaking into the back

room. "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" Rose stopped and stared at her mother.

"You're all wet!"

"Yes, I am," CJ sighed.

"Why?"

"Because I fell in the pool."

"Why?"

"Because I was trying to see Uncle Toby."

"Why.... UNCLE TOBY!" Rose shrieked, hurtling herself into Toby's

arms. "Hihi!"

Toby scooped up Rose into his arms and planted a kiss on her cheek. She

giggled and scooted up higher in his arms to kiss him on the top of his

bald head.

"I'm going to get changed, I'll be down in a minute" called CJ from the

stairs.

"OK, we'll be fine" called Toby as he sat on the couch with Rose on his

lap. She had really grown since he had last seen them a few months

earlier. She was past the baby stage and fully into the toddler phase.

She was a bundle of energy. Rose had her mother's blue eyes and her

father's fine, sandy hair.

Her father...that was a subject that CJ and Toby had always carefully

managed to avoid. Sure, Toby was curious but he never asked and CJ had

never offered any information.

He knew that Richard Fowler couldn't possibly be her father, because CJ

hadn't even started seeing him before she announced she was expecting.

And besides, even if she'd been lying about that -- Richard had dark

hair and almost-black eyes.

No dice.

Except for the hair, though, Rose looked almost exactly like the

pictures he'd seen of CJ as a little girl, so it would be difficult to

ID a father out of thin air, anyway.

"So, what are you up to today, little miss Rosita?" he inquired.

"Ree and I watched Pooh after Mommy left. And I colored."

"Oh, that's nice" said Toby. He had been sitting with Rose on his lap

for about 5 minutes and he was quickly reaching his *child* quota for

the day, or maybe the week. Just as he was trying to decide how to

remove her from his lap Desiree called from the kitchen with an offer of

milk and cookies.

"Bye, Uncle Toby" giggled Rose as she reached up to rub his head. She

scampered away as Toby rolled his eyes.

"Enough of the kids stuff for one day, huh Toby?" asked CJ as she came

out of the kitchen with two glasses of iced tea.

"Something like that" muttered Toby as he motioned for CJ to sit.

"So tell me more about Jed Bartlet. Is he the real thing?" asked CJ as

she curled her long legs under her and turned sideways to face Toby.

"Yeah, he is. He's not the easiest guy to get to know, but he's the

real thing. So what do you say, are you in?"

"I don't know. It's all so sudden. I have Rose to consider. Leo

McGarry really mentioned me by name?" she asked, trying to keep her

emotions in check.

"Yeah, you must have made a good impression on him a few years ago when

the two of you met." said Toby.

CJ had just taken a large sip of iced tea and it took her a good five

minutes and three napkins to stop choking and to clean herself up.

"You ok there, CJ?" asked Toby oblivious to why she was suddenly choking

and speechless.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm okay," she assured him on a whisper, still

coughing some. "I... I don't know, Toby. Who would take care of Rose?"

"Desiree? I mean, that's what you pay her for, right?"

"But with the cut in pay... Toby, I don't know how I'll be able to..."

CJ sighed and put her head in her hands. "I can't ask Richard for more

money. He's already giving me about $500,000 a year."

"Plus your salary.... good, God, woman!" Toby rolled his eyes. "Sell

the damn house and bring Desiree and Rose along for the campaign!"

"Are you gonna baby-sit?" she challenged. "And what happens when Rosie

has to go to school?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Jesus Christ, Toby... I..."

"He's the real thing."

CJ took a deep breath, this was the opportunity she had been waiting for

all her adult life. A chance to work a national campaign, to break into

the all boy network, to be a player in the party. She was being invited

to *sit at the adult table*, how could she say no.

"I'll do it"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo sat staring at the fax that had just arrived. It was from Toby; it

said simply,

Leo,

CJ's in.

Toby

He tiredly rubbed his eyes and crumbled up the paper, tossing it in the

nearby trashcan. He turned his attention back to Jed and Josh.

"We've got our press person," he said.

"Who?" Josh asked.

"Leo, you're pissing me off," Jed growled. "You keep bringing in all of

these people I've never even HEARD of and..."

"CJ Cregg," Leo said. "She's good -- she ran interference for Andrea

Wyatt during her first campaign and has worked for EMILY's List. She's

very good, and we can use her. She does have a small child -- I don't

know what's happening with that, though, just yet."

"How small?" Jed asked as Josh groaned and rolled his eyes.

"I think she's about three, three and a half now," Leo answered.

"Oh, a little turkey. Well, bring the monkey along! The kid'll be a

nice distraction," Jed said with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ and Rose took one last look around the townhouse before hopping in

the car. CJ was planning on shipping everything, including her car, to

the small apartment she had rented in Manchester but at the last minute

decided to drive cross country with Rose and Desiree. A decision she

hoped she wouldn't regret. But she figured they could take turns

driving and things would work out just fine. But the real reason for

the drive was to give her more time to think about what to say when she

came face to face with Leo.

She had been in contact with him by email and fax but hadn't actually

spoken to him. They were both doing a very good job of avoiding each

other. But that was about to end.

~~~~~~~~~

Ten days later, with Desiree and Rose safely tucken away at the Holiday

Inn in Manchester, where they would stay while waiting for the rest of

their things to arrive, CJ stood on the sidewalk in front of the Bartlet

for America headquarters. She took a deep breath and pushed the door

opened. It only took a second for her to spot Leo. He was sitting at a

desk, feet propped up, fidgeting with his suspenders. He looked as

adorable as she had remembered, maybe even more so. She was fighting

the urge to run out the door and back to California when Toby spotted

her and waved her over.

"Hey, CJ, come meet everybody!" he called. "We're just getting ready

for a meeting, so..." Toby grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her

over to the others. "This is Josh Lyman, Sam Seaborn, you already know

Leo McGarry, and THIS is Josiah Bartlet. Everybody, this is CJ Cregg,

our new Press Secretary."

"Hi," she said. "So let me get this straight, Josh, Sam, Leo and

Governor Bartlet, right?"

"Yeah," Leo said curtly. "Let's get to work, people." He sat up and

handed out papers. "I need everyone to contact everyone on each of

these lists by five."

"What's next?" Bartlet intoned.

"We have a speech in Concord tonight," Josh spoke up. "No blowing the

thing."

"What's next?"

CJ just blinked, unable to believe what she was hearing. Important

speeches were being reduced to "the thing"? And they were calling

people like nothing more than telemarketers? WHAT KIND OF CAMPAIGN WAS

THIS?!

"Nothing Governor" said Leo as people scattered in all directions.

CJ stood rooted to her spot until Leo's voice broke through the haze she

was feeling.

"CJ, uh, let's find you a place to work and maybe then we can talk?"

asked Leo in an uncharacteriscally timid tone.

"Yeah" she muttered as she took in the chaos around her that masqueraded

as a Presidential campaign.

Leo led her to a small but tidy cubicle with her name taped to the

outside wall. She dropped her bag and sat down wearily. The exhaustion

caused by a cross country trip with a preschooler was quickly taking

over her body and mind. Leo stood nervously until she pointed to the

chair in front of the desk. She quietly took a photo out of her bag and

slid it across the desk towards Leo.

"I thought you might like to see her," she explained quietly. "Before

you actually meet her, I mean."

He picked up the photo -- which was of CJ, Toby and Rose sitting on CJ's

deck chair out by the pool -- and stared at it for a long time before

handing it back to her. "She looks like you," he finally said.

"But she's got you in her, too."

"A little," he conceded.

"We call her Rosie -- except for Toby who calls her Rosita for some

reason. She loves Winnie-the-Pooh, coloring, and... talking about her

daddy." She put the picture away and slid her purse under the desk.

"Richard?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"He's the only father she knows" said CJ a little harsher than she had

intended. After all it was her idea to raise her daughter without help

or support from Leo.

"Yeah, I guess she is. I hope someday that's not the case. So when can

I meet her?" asked Leo.

"Tomorrow, I'll have Desiree bring her by in the afternoon. I would

rather her meet you here than at the hotel."

"Fine. I'm just curious, does Toby know?"

"If he does, he didn't hear it from me" said CJ. "Now can we please

move on to this circus you call a campaign?"

"Sure"

Part 3

That night when she finally got to the hotel, at about eleven, all CJ

felt like doing was kissing her sleeping daughter on the forehead and

collapse into bed. Which she did with all haste.

The front desk rang at 2 AM.

"Shit," CJ muttered, grabbing the phone before it could wake Rose and

Desiree up. "Yes?"

"Ms. Cregg?"

"YES?!"

"There's a woman named Carol Henshall at the front desk to see you. She

says she's your assistant?"

"Oh God, send her up!" CJ exclaimed. She was waiting at the door when

Carol knocked a few minutes later. "Come in, come in!" she laughed.

"How did you...."

"I called your dad, and he said you came to work for Bartlet, and I quit

at Triton-Day, and... you'll need an assistant, right?" Carol asked

with a smile.

"GOD YES!"

By lunchtime the next day CJ had introduced Carol around, managed to

only confuse Josh and Sam in the process, gotten her desk organized, met

with Jed Bartlet, gotten some pointers from Margaret and managed to

nicely avoid Leo.

But as late morning turned to early afternoon she couldn't put off the

inevitable, she had to have Desiree bring Rosie over to meet everyone,

including Leo.

Rosie flew into Toby's arms the minute she entered the building. Toby

looked slightly embarrassed as she did her ritual of kissing the top of

his bald head. He introduced her around and everyone made a big fuss

over her. But no one was more smitten with her than Jed Bartlet. Toby

left Rosie in Jed's arms eating a cookie while he went to get CJ, who

was on the phone.

By the time CJ had gotten to Jed's office Leo was already in there. She

stopped in the doorway and surveyed the scene in front of her; the

democratic nominee for the presidency was holding her daughter, covered

in cookie crumbs and grinning from ear to ear. Leo was watching from a

few feet away, unsure of what to do. CJ took a deep breath and went in.

"Rosie, honey, I'd like you to meet Leo."

"I already met him mommy, Uncle 'siah told me who he was"

Jed chuckled at the little girl on his knee.

"Why don't we try Uncle Jed, might be easier to say. Now I have to get

to work but it was very nice meeting you Rosie" said Jed as he kissed

her cheek and put her down.

"Bye Uncle Jed" said Rosie waving to him as he walked out of the office.

Leo sat down as Rosie eyed him warily. He offered her another cookie

and she climbed in his lap.

"Your mommy says you like Winnie-the-Pooh?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Rose mumbled around her cookie. "Mommy, Ree let me watch Beauty

and the Beast this morning."

"Okay, sweetheart," CJ said with a smile. "That's why we brought it,

you know."

"'Kay." Rose smiled up at Leo. "You like Pooh?"

"I love Pooh -- and Tigger, too," Leo said with an awkward smile.

"I love Piglet," CJ piped up.

"Mommy likes Roo, too..." Rose supplied, climbing off of Leo's lap.

"Mommy, I'm thirsty," she said very matter-of-factly.

"CJ, phone" yelled Carol from the hallway.

"Go, I'll find her something to drink" said Leo.

CJ only hesitated for a second before running down the hall to take the

call.

Leo and Rosie walked down the hall hand in hand towards the small

kitchen. They found some juice and went into Leo's office to wait for

CJ to finish. Leo gave her some paper and a pen. She got to work

drawing while Leo read over some notes.

"Here Leo, I drew a picture for you" said Rosie as she held out a piece

of paper.

"It's a picture of Winnie-the-Pooh" supplied Rosie just as Leo was about

to give up on figuring out what it was.

He held out a piece of tape and Rosie put it on his filing cabinet. She

went back to drawing and Leo went back to his notes. Neither noticed

Jed standing in the doorway watching them.

Jed sighed to himself as he looked at the similarities between his best

friend and the little girl who had stolen all of their hearts. They had

the same hair, similar coloring and they both had the same slightly

crooked smile.

Leo looked up to find Jed staring. He knew exactly what Jed was

thinking and there was no way to deny it. Leo just gave a small, sad

smile and an almost invisible nod. Jed returned the smile and continued

down the hall.

He wound up at CJ's cubicle, watching her deal with someone from the

Washington Post -- Danny Concannon, if he had to lay a bet on it. She

hung up, finally and made a little demon-shrieking noise, making a

motion like she wanted to strangle the phone.

"Having fun, are we?" he asked with a little chuckle.

"Governor, I didn't..."

"No, it's okay, I quite understand," he said with a smile. "Leo has

Rosie drawing pictures of Pooh for him."

She sighed in relief. "I thought you were going to say she'd gotten in

trouble or something..."

"Oh, no. She's too much like her father to get in trouble."

Her eyes widened and she choked. "Excuse me?"

"Richard," he supplied a moment later. "We went to boarding school

together."

"Oh." She hoped she didn't look as nervous as she thought she did.

"I'll let you get to work. I'll talk to you later CJ" said Jed as he

turned back towards his office.

In Jed's mind there was no doubt, Leo was Rosie's father. He stored

that information away in his mind, vowing not to bring the subject up

unless Leo did first.

CJ dropped her head to the desk and let out a quiet, "kill me now"

before slowly getting up and heading over towards Leo's office.

She found them hard at work, Leo in his chair, head bent over a stack of

papers, Rosie kneeling on his visitors chair coloring. She leaned

against the door jamb for a minute, trying to stop the tears from

escaping from her eyes.

Rosie glanced up and cried, "Mommy, I made Leo a picture of Pooh, and he

hanged it up!" She pointed proudly at the file cabinet.

Leo looked up, startled, at CJ. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her for

me," CJ said with a smile.

"No problem," he replied. "Where's your nanny?"

"She went to the store to get some things -- like little Miss Rosie's

new shoes," CJ said, grabbing her daughter and swinging her up into the

air. "Wanna go back to Mommy's office, sweetheart?"

"No, I want to stay with Leo," Rose stated firmly.

"Carol's here."

"Carol's here? Reawwy?"

"Yeah."

Rosie climbed back down to the ground and ran over to hug Leo and give

him a little kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said very politely.

"Bye-bye -- I'm gonna see Carol now."

"Okay, you go see Carol," Leo agreed with a smile as she and CJ left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As days turned in to weeks they fell into a somewhat comfortable

routine. CJ worked nonstop until the late afternoon and then she took a

break to have a early dinner with Rosie before getting a few more hours

worth of work done or attending a campaign function. When they went on

the road for more than a day or two Rosie and Desiree usually joined

them. Rosie made friends with all the staffers and they enjoyed

spoiling her. Toys made their way into the offices of just about

everyone, even to the office of the overworked candidate.

Leo spent as much time with Rosie as the others did. She had captured

his heart that very first day. He did his best to give CJ space. They

talked very little about anything other than the campaign. CJ never

asked about Jenny and he never offered any information. The truth was,

he and Jenny hardly talked anymore. He was so wrapped up in the

campaign that he hardly noticed.

They found themselves in Chicago for the Illinois Primary, and CJ and

Leo had rooms just a few doors down from each other. Rose had an ear

infection, and CJ was going out of her mind, trying to take care of her

and make sure she got enough sleep and antibiotics. At about one in the

morning, Leo heard someone knocking on his door, and he found CJ there,

looking ragged, exhausted, and like she'd been crying.

"Hey, can I come in?" she asked a little unsure of why she was even

there.

"Sure" said Leo as he stepped aside and let me pass by him.

CJ just sort of stood in the middle of the room for a minute. She would

have just collapsed in to a chair if they hadn't all been covered in

assorted newspaper, files and magazines. Leo brushed past her and

tossed some files off of the spare bed and steered her over to it. She

sat down heavily and put her head in her hands.

It was all Leo could do to keep from wrapping his arms around her and

holding her tight. But chose to sit down next to her a respectable

distance from her.

"What's wrong? Rosie still sick?" asked Leo.

"No, well, yeah but that's not the problem. It's Richard. He and his

new wife were on a sailing trip off Catalina and the boat was caught in

a storm. So far there hasn't been any word on survivors...God Leo, I

don't know what to do. I can't..."

"Sshhh, it's ok" murmured Leo as he scooted over to put his arm around

her.

At first CJ flinched at his touch but then accepted his comfort and

melted into his arms.

There was nothing sexual in his touch, just something so very

comforting. She cried into his shoulder until she couldn't cry anymore,

and then she just let him hold her. "I... I don't know what it is about

this place," she finally whispered. "First Josh's dad, and now this..."

"Hey, it's okay," he assured her. "If something has... happened... to

Richard... I know we'll all help you with money for Rosie if..."

"No, he'll leave provisions for Rosie," she said with all certainty.

"He loves her so much,

Leo, it's... How can I tell her that her Daddy is gone?" The pain on

her face made Leo want to cry.

Leo just held her, unable to come up with any words that might remotely

make CJ feel better. He held her until the body was limp with

exhaustion and he was sure she was sleeping. He laid her down and

slipped off her shoes. Gently he pulled the covers out from underneath

her and tucked her in.

He went into the bathroom and got ready for bed himself. It took more

willpower than he knew he had not to get in the bed with her. He did

kiss her cheek and brush the hair out of her eyes before climbing into

the other bed and falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

CJ woke up at five-fifteen and couldn't figure out where she was. She

sat up, looking around in the dark, confused. "Rosie?" she called

softly.

"CJ?" came a sleep-grumpy voice from one direction.

"Leo?"

"Yeah, you fell asleep, and I..."

"I have to go," she said quickly, climbing out of the bed and promptly

tripping over something. She fell to the floor, cracking her head on

the bedframe.

Leo heard the thud, crack, and groan of pain, and was out of the bed in

a flash, flipping on the bedside light.

"CJ!" he cried, pressing a handkerchief he fished out of his pants to

her bleeding temple.

"I'm... 'kay...." she mumbled weakly. "Room's spinning."

"I bet it is" he agreed as he helped her back onto the bed. "Let me get

some ice and see if Abbey's up yet."

"No, I'm fine, just let me sit for a minute and then I'll go to my room"

said CJ.

"No way. Stay here, I'll be right back" Leo ordered as he grabbed the

ice bucket.

He returned 5 minutes later with the ice and Abbey.

"Abbey, I'm fine really. I hope Leo didn't wake you"

"He didn't wake me and I will be the judge of how fine you are, CJ" said

Abbey as she reached for the handkerchief.

The bleeding had stopped and the cut wasn't as bad as it had first

looked to Leo. It didn't need stitches and Abbey wasn't real worried

about a concussion. She told CJ to keep the ice on for a while longer

and to take some Advil for the headache she was sure to get.

Abbey smirked for a moment, then inquired, "And what were you two doing

in here that resulted in this little injury?"

CJ sighed. "My ex-husband was in a yacht accident, and... I needed

someone to talk to. I cried myself to sleep, and Leo put me in the

other bed, I guess, and I woke up and was trying to leave to check on

Rosie's fever, and... I... tripped and hurt myself." She was turning

bright red.

"Ah, yes, isn't that always the way?" Abbey said with a dirty chuckle.

"ABIGAIL!" Leo rumbled. "Go back to bed already!"

"Yes dear" Abbey called over her shoulder as she opened the door to her

room.

~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ and Rosie made quite a pair that day on the flight to California.

Rosie cried from the ear infection which was of course made worse by the

changes in pressure in her little ears. CJ just wanted to cry period,

for Richard, for Leo, from the pounding headache. It didn't help at all

that Desiree had been called home on a family emergency. Plus Josh was

still in Connecticut with his mother and planned to stay until Shiva was

over. That left the campaign one voice and body short. Everyone had

been running on pure adrenaline for days and they were crashing fast.

Once the plane took off Leo took a crying Rosie from an exhausted CJ.

He cuddled her in his lap and rubbed her back until she feel asleep

somewhere over the midwest. Half an hour later he felt himself drifting

off despite the fact that Jed was talking to him at the time. Jed smiled

to himself as he threw a blanket over the sleeping pair.

CJ woke up over New Mexico, sick to her stomach, and headed for the

lavatory. When she came out fifteen minutes later, she had lost

everything she'd eaten and drank that day, and her head was pounding.

Abbey met her outside the restroom with a bottle of Advil, and a weak

smile. "Thanks," CJ mumbled, taking the bottle and heading back to her

seat.

Leo stirred and looked over at her. "You okay?"

"Headache," she mumbled, swallowing the pills dry, not wanting to risk

putting anything else on her stomach at that point.

"Okay -- she's really hot," he commented, pressing a kiss to Rose's

forehead.

"I've got some kid's Tylenol in here somewhere," CJ muttered, digging

around in her carry-on. She finally got it out and Leo worked with Jed

to rouse the sleeping toddler.

Twenty minutes and a large amount of grape Tylenol later Rosie was

settled down on Abbey's lap while Jed and Leo headed towards the

bathroom to wash off the sticky remains of Tylenol and apple juice.

When they had washed up Jed steered Leo into an empty row of seats and

sat down next to him. He just raised his eyebrows at Leo in a silent

question.

"Yeah, she's mine" whispered Leo as he put his head in his hands.

Jed nodded and reached out to place a comforting hand on Leo's back.

"I won't say anything," Jed said quietly. "I just... needed to know.

Have you told Jenny?"

"No."

"Okay, good. I don't think she could handle it. Let's go back, okay?"

"Yeah," Leo sighed.

"Want Leo," Rose whined as he came by and sat down, stretching her arms

out towards him.

He picked her up and settled her down in his lap again. Jed brought a

cool, damp cloth and put it on her forehead.

Leo and Rose slept for the rest of the flight under the watchful eye of

Jed and Abbey. By the time they landed CJ was feeling better and

Rosie's fever had dropped. As they entered the terminal all of the

televisions were playing the same thing. A news brief about Richard's

accident.

Rose looked at the screens and smiled. "Mommy, look -- Daddy and Mary

are on TV!"

CJ just nodded numbly. They passed by a row of speakers, and she heard,

"Richard Fowler and his second wife, Mary Oliviette were confirmed dead

just about ten minutes ago." Her knees buckled and she fainted.

When she regained consciousness, everyone was hovered over her. "CJ?"

Abbey said, her voice tinged with worry.

"I.... I... I'm okay," CJ whispered, fighting tears. "It's just..."

Rose looked down at her, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Is Daddy

dead?" she whispered.

"Oh, baby, come here," CJ insisted, opening her arms to Rose. "Come

here...." Rose launched herself into her mother's arms and cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ and Rose rejoined the campaign 2 weeks later. With the support of

her friends, Leo included, CJ helped Rose through the funeral and the

weeks that followed.

Once again they fell into their comfortable routine.

Late one Friday afternoon found Rosie wandering the halls of the Bartlet

for America headquarters searching for a playmate. She found a large

number of staffers too busy to play but when she had finished her rounds

she had quite a collection of assorted goodies. She had a pink ball

from Toby, a cookie from Mrs. Landingham, a copy of Green Eggs and Ham

from Sam, (she had to promise to return it when she was done), a

lollipop from Josh and a freshly painted set of purple finger nails,

thanks to Donna. She dropped her goodies in CJ's office and announced

that she was off to find Leo.

"OK, honey, but come back if he's busy" said CJ, not really looking up

from the memo she was reading.

Rosie arrived in Leo's doorway and knocked softly.

"Come in" yelled Leo from the desk.

Rosie entered and saw that Uncle Jed was there too. She stood for a

moment trying to decided who had the better lap to offer. She gave Jed

a hug and a kiss but ended up in Leo's lap.

"Mmmph, guess I can see where her loyalties lie" teased Jed. "I'm going

to get ready for the thing tonight. I'll see you later."

"Yeah" said Leo as he turned his attention to Rose.

An hour later Leo and Rose were hungry and they wandered off in search

of CJ to see if she wanted to go grab something to eat. They found her

on the phone, as usual. They sat patiently, well, almost patiently, for

her to finish.

"Mommy, we're hungry. Leo wants to go to Chuck E. Cheese" stated Rosie.

CJ burst out laughing and eyed Leo curiously.

"Your idea?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Not really, but come on, I have a couple of hours before the thing

tonight, how bad could it be?"

"Oh, it'll be fine" said CJ with the straightest face she could manage.

Wouldn't the DNC be absolutely appalled when they found out that Leo won

the most tickets that afternoon, once he'd gotten the point of the "slam

the alligator on the head" game. He'd pretended they were the

Republicans, and had proceeded to rack up the tickets, which he redeemed

for a big teddy bear for Rose.

CJ tucked Rose into bed with her new teddy bear, who she had christened

"Poohsie", and kissed the little girl on the forehead.

"Mommy?" Rose said. "Can Leo be my daddy?"

"No, sweetie."

"Why not, Mommy?"

"Because he's married to someone else, sweetheart, and he has a

daughter, already," CJ explained patiently.

"How old is she?"

"Oh, she's old -- she's twenty-something," CJ said with a smile. "Her

name is Mallory."

"That's a pretty name, Mommy."

"Yes, it is." She tucked Rose a little further beneath the covers and

smiled. "Now, tomorrow's a big day, and you need your sleep."

"Why's it a big day?"

"Because we'll find out if Uncle Jed is going to be President," CJ said

with a wide smile. "I'll even let you stay up late, if he is."

"Okay, but I want to sit with Leo."

"Okay, sweet stuff. Now, go to sleep." She turned off the lights, and

cried herself to sleep that night.

Rose woke up early the next morning and climbed into bed with CJ.

"Mommy, today's the big day, get up" said Rose as she stood up and

jumped on the bed, dangerously close to CJ's head.

"OK, sweetie. I'm up." mumbled CJ, still half asleep.

CJ showered quickly and fed Rose breakfast. They were all heading to

the Bartlet family farm to await the outcome of the election. CJ packed

some toys for Rose and threw the bag in the car along with the rest of

their things.

The mood at the farm was electric. People were in and out all day.

Rose was in heaven. Jed and Abbey's granddaughter had appointed herself

baby sitter for the day. Rose adored Annie and was happy to follow her

around for the day.

As the sun started to set and the crowds thinned out CJ found herself on

the front porch swing, happily alone. She had the feeling that someone

was watching her and she turned to look at the front door. Leo was in

the doorway, smiling.

"Can I sit?' he asked as he motioned towards the swing.

"Sure" replied CJ.

He sat down beside her, but with a reasonable distance between them.

"You've been a little... removed... today. You okay?" he asked.

"Just having a relaxation day, before I have a nutty, to use Zoey's

term," CJ sighed, leaning her head back as far as it would go without

choking her.

"Ah."

"Leo... how's Jenny? And how is Mallory? You never talk about them,

and..."

"Jenny and I don't talk much anymore. I'm too busy. And Mal's pretty

pissed at us both."

"No kidding."

"Sarcasm is not a very good trait," he said wryly. "Your daughter won't

be able to tell when you're being serious or not."

CJ sighed and covered her eyes with one hand.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "CJ?"

"Nothing. Just... just something Rose asked me last night."

"What was that?" asked Leo curiously.

CJ thought about lying, making up a benign question but decided to tell

the truth, see what Leo's reaction would be.

"She asked if you could be her new daddy" whispered CJ.

Leo's reaction surprised her. Not that she really had time to consider

what he would do. Leo's face broke out in a huge grin for about 2

seconds before suddenly falling and becoming serious when CJ's face

registered only sadness.

"What did you tell her?" asked Leo as he suddenly stopped the swing with

his foot.

"I told her you already have a wife and daughter. I told her the truth"

said CJ bitterly.

"You told her half the truth. Yeah, I have a wife and daughter. But I

also have another child, Rose. CJ, I love her and I love being a part

of her life. Why can't we tell her the truth?"

"Tell her the truth, she's 4 she can't keep a secret. You remember how

she told Abbey that Jed was eating chili dogs and fries instead of

salad"

They both chuckled at the memory for a second before resuming their

serious discussion.

"When you are ready to tell the world about Rose, then we can discuss

telling her the truth. Until them things stay the way they are"

Leo dropped his head into his hands and mumbled something CJ couldn't

quite understand.

"What, I can't hear you when you..."

"I'm ready"

"No, Leo, you're not. You haven't told your wife about me, I'm willing

to bet. And you haven't told Mallory, either, if you haven't told

Jenny."

"I told Jed."

"What?"

"I told Jed."

"Oh God... Leo, this isn't the way things are supposed to happen..."

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Now isn't exactly the

best time to tell anyone about this."

"Then when?" he asked, raising his voice in something akin to anger.

"After you've told Jenny."

"And what if I don't want to tell Jenny?" he asked. "What then? Are

you going to deny me my daughter for that, CJ?"

"NO!" She realized that Jed and Abbey were staring at them from the

window, and hushed her voice, shivering in her coat. "Leo, please, this

is hard enough; don't make it worse by being stupid."

"I'm not being stupid. So are you going to deny me my daughter?" he

asked again.

"Of course not. For some strange reason, she adores you" said CJ

sarcastically. "If we win this thing tonight we're all going to

Washington. You'll see her all the time, just like now. Nothing's

going to change."

"And if we don't win, what then?" whispered Leo.

"Don't know. I've tried not to think about that." admitted CJ

"Me neither" said Leo quietly. "God CJ, I love her so much"

Leo leaned over again and propped his head up with his hands. CJ took

one look at him sitting there, on the verge of tears and all her resolve

just melted away. She scooted over a little and after hesitating for

just a second as she looked around for prying eyes, she reached out and

gently rubbed his back.

"I know you do. And she loves you too. God, Leo...what the hell are we

going to do?"

Just as she asked that Josh appeared in the doorway and said they were

starting to hear early numbers on the television. He disappeared back

into the house as quickly as he had appeared, not seeming shocked at the

sight of CJ rubbing Leo's back and Leo on the verge of tears.

Leo took a deep breath and sat up. "Well, we're going to go inside and

hear the early numbers, and warm up before we get goddamn frostbite," he

said firmly. "And we'll go from there."

"Okay."

They went inside, holding hands like old friends, each drawing comfort

from the contact.

Rose ran up to them. "Mommy, Uncle Jed gave me a puzzle to play with

and I did it all by myself! It has a picture of Noah and the ark on

it! Come see! You, too, Leo!" She grabbed them both by the hands and

dragged them into the living room, where she'd set her puzzle up on the

coffee table. "See?"

"Wow, you're a really smart little girl!" Leo praised, getting down on

her level to look at the puzzle.

Rose looked up at her mother and beamed. CJ returned the smile and gave

Leo's hand a squeeze before dropping it and heading into the kitchen in

search of a cup of coffee.

She found Jed sitting at the counter with a donut and a cup of coffee.

"Eating in here so Abbey doesn't see the donut" teased CJ.

"Yeah, something like that. Where are Rose and Leo?"

"I think Leo is still admiring the puzzle she did" sighed CJ as she

poured a cup of coffee for herself.

"They make quite a pair" said Jed as he carefully searched CJ's face for

a reaction.

"Leo told me you know about Rose" said CJ quietly.

"Good" said Jed. "How about we go see how things are turning out. Grab

Leo and Rose and meet us in the den"

Jed smiled and patted CJ on the arm as he took another donut with him.

CJ found some juice for Rose and went to the living room to find them.

Rose was sitting on Leo's lap, pointing to the puzzle and giggling

wildly. "No, silly, that's an elephant, not a buffalo!" she cried.

"Oh, well, they'r eboth big and brown..."

"No!! An elephant is grey!"

"Unless he's covered in mud," Leo pointed out.

"Why would he be muddy?" Rose asked, suddenly confused. She knew

elephants were grey -- how could they be brown and muddy?

"Elephants don't sweat, Rosie," Leo explained. "So they get really hot

in the sun. They take mud baths to cool down."

"Oh."

CJ couldn't help but giggle at the two of them. Leo looked up and

smiled.

"Honey, here's some juice. Why don't you go into the den, Uncle Jed is

in there, I think he has donuts" said CJ.

Rose kissed Leo soundly on the cheek and climbed down to look for Uncle

Jed and his stash of junk food.

"You ready to go in?" asked Leo.

"As ready as I'll ever be. I just want to say something before we go in

there"

"OK" said Leo, not quite sure what to expect.

CJ sat down on the couch and placed the coffee cup on the table in front

of her.

"I just wanted to say, that no matter what happens tonight I'm glad you

hired me. It's been an experience that Rose and I will never forget."

CJ said simply before leaning over and giving Leo a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, for everything" whispered Leo.

He stood first and held his hand out to CJ who took it without

hesitation.

The early numbers were looking good. But Toby withheld the champagne,

saying something about "tempting fate". CJ whacked him upside the head

with a magazine she picked up off of the floor.

"Oh wound me with Children's Digest!" he cried, and she whapped him a

few more times.

There was general laughter around the room as he grabbed her by the

waist, dipped her, and smooched her full on the lips. "Wow, Toby, if

I'd known..." she purred on a giggle, knocking him over flat on his ass.

"Ow!"

"Uncle Toby!" Rose shouted, running over and jumping on him. All he

could answer with was a strangled grunt of pain.

More laughter.

"CJ, you really ought to do the Jackal," Toby said when he finally

recovered and had his little "niece" trapped on his lap.

"But isn't that tempting fate?" she replied with a smirk.

"No, that's unwinding and watching a great view."

"What's the Jackal?" Jed inquired, and even Leo raised an eyebrow.

"I lip-synch to a song and do some gestures, and..." she said, turning

bright red.

"Do it!" Jed thundered majestically.

CJ mumbled some excuse about not having the music as Josh turned up the

TV to get some more numbers.

The numbers were good, very good.

Cheers erupted through out the room as more hugging and kissing took

place.

As the returns started coming quicker the house became more and more

frenzied. Rose was running about getting more wound up by the minute.

Her energy was fueled by too much apple juice and at least one too many

donuts, thanks to Uncle Jed. CJ cornered her over by the bookcase and

tried to convince her to sit down for a while to no avail. Leo saw that

CJ was getting frustrated and he went over to see if he could help. He

was able to convince Rose to follow him to the kitchen for a snack that

wasn't overprocessed or powdered.

They sat side by side on stools at the counter eating ham sandwiches and

watching CNN.

"Leo, if Uncle Jed is the president do we all get to live at the White

House?" asked Rose.

Leo chuckled at her and reached over to ruffle her hair.

"No honey, only Uncle Jed and Aunt Abbey will live at the White House.

The rest of us will work there. You'll be able to visit them." answered

Leo as he turned his attention back to CNN. More good numbers were

coming through.

"Oh, OK" said Rose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little after midnight CNN, MSNBC and all the other big networks

declared Josiah Bartlet the next President of the United States. Chaos

broke out in the farmhouse and quickly spread out the doors into the

cold November evening.

Rose had finally fallen asleep a little after 11 only to wake up again

when the cheering started. She flew into her mother's arms full of hugs

and kisses. Leo smiled at them from the other side of the room as he

made his way over to them. He pulled both of them into a huge hug. He

kissed Rose on the forehead and reached up to kiss CJ's cheek. CJ

smiled and returned the kiss.

"We did it" grinned Leo.

"We sure did" smiled CJ.

Four hours later Rose was still running around. Jed had been on TV to

give his victory speech, he had watched the concession speech and he too

was running on empty. Abbey was in the kitchen trying to convince him

to get some sleep when Leo wandered in looking for CJ.

"I think I saw her wrap Rose up in a blanket and take her out to the

swing to try and settle her down" said Abbey. "Help me convince Mr.

President here that some sleep would be a good idea" teased Abbey.

"Jed, go to sleep" said Leo firmly but without much conviction. "OK, I

tried" he smirked as he kissed Abbey.

"Hey, what about me?" asked Jed woundedly.

Leo smirked again and planted a kiss on the cheek of his best friend.

"Leo, did you call Jenny?"

"Not yet" said Leo quietly.

And with those words he walked out of the room and headed for the front

porch. He didn't find CJ but he did find Rose. She was sound asleep on

the swing, nestled in between a sleeping Josh and an awake but extremely

comfortable Donna. Sam was asleep in the rocker wrapped up in a quilt.

"CJ's packing up her stuff so she can take Rose home for a few hours."

whispered Donna when Leo looked at her with questioning eyes.

"OK"

Leo walked out to the pond and pulled out his cellphone to call Jenny.

Jenny's sleepy voice answered after the eighth ring. "He...ll...o?"

"Hi."

"Leo? What on... it's five in the morning!"

"Yeah. So?"

"I was sleeping."

"And I'm celebrating."

"He... he got it?"

"Yeah. You're talking to the President-Elect's Chief of Staff."

"Wow. There's something about that title..."

"Yeah. Look, Jenny, there's something I need to tell you, and it's...

it's..."

"Leo, can it wait until I'm actually awake?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. Sorry I woke you up."

Leo jabbed the button and turned the phone off. He wandered back

towards the front of the house. CJ had just put a sleeping Rose in the

car. She waved him over. He leaned in and kissed Rose's cheek. He

turned to CJ, his face showing a sad smile. CJ reached up and kissed

his cheek.

"We both need to get some sleep now. After you've talked to Jenny then

we can figure this whole thing out."

"I called her" whispered Leo.

"And you told her everything over the phone?" asked CJ, utterly shocked.

"Not exactly. I woke her up and she basically cut me off" admitted Leo.

"Oh. Look, I've got to go. I'll be back later today" said CJ as she

quickly slipped into the car.

As she pulled out of the driveway Leo turned back towards the house,

determined to get a few hours of sleep himself.

But he couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned the rest of the night.

Meanwhile, CJ had carted Rose back to the little apartment they were

renting and tucked her into her little bed. She sighed, realizing that

she'd have to buy a bigger bed for her soon.

Was there even money for that? Would she be able to raise her daughter

on $600 a week, and a little extra income from Richard's estate?

Rose was a very rich little girl, but nearly all of the money was tied

up in trusts.

Part4

The next few months were a whirlwind of activity. CJ had bought a

townhouse for herself and Rose a mile from the White House. It wasn't

cheap but she had managed to liquidate some of the money Richard had

left for Rose. She had convinced Desiree to come to Washington with

them. CJ enrolled Rose in a preschool a few blocks from home. Things

were moving along quickly towards Inauguration Day, well, most things

were moving forward.

Leo and CJ, well, they weren't moving...period. Leo had tried to tell

Jenny about CJ and Rose but something always seemed to get in the way.

He was too busy, she was too busy, one of them was out of town or in

most cases, he just plain chickened out.

One January 16th Leo and CJ were sitting at her kitchen table going over

the last minute details for the Inauguration. They had been working for

3 hours and the clock was nearing midnight.