Pilgrimage from Darkness

In a scene reminiscent of one a few weeks earlier Elizabeth wrapped up Robert's arm and helped him into the sling. The word "amputation" hung in the air even though neither had spoken it aloud. Giving voice to it was something they weren't ready to do. As Elizabeth stood behind him she pressed a kiss to the back of his head. She let out a chuckle as she realized she'd left lipstick behind. Wiping it away with her thumb she glanced at the clock. It was almost time to pick up Ella. Kris had a few days off so she put Ella in the hospital daycare. It was good for her to be around the other kids and Elizabeth liked being able to check in on her during the day. Robert was known to sneak away from the ER for a quick peek at his favorite little girl too.

"Are you heading home soon?" Elizabeth asked him as she cleaned up the tray and instruments.

"Yeah, I've had enough for today. Dorothy's picking me up," he replied with a hint of bitterness in his voice. After some long conversations with his doctors and Elizabeth he'd decided to give up driving all together. It was just another decision that forced him to face his diminishing independence. Deep down he knew he shouldn't have been driving at all since the accident but he did anyway. He'd been considering hiring a driver but was resisting. Dorothy had been very willing to pick him up at night and Elizabeth usually drove him in the morning.

"I still have to go upstairs and check on a few patients. Do you want to take Ella to my place? We can order something for dinner," suggested Elizabeth.

"Sure, sounds good. Am I going to have trouble signing her out of daycare?"

"No. I put you on the list," said Elizabeth with a smile.

Robert returned the smile and kissed her cheek as Abby knocked softly and stuck her head in the room. She stifled a giggle and covered her eyes. "Sorry, Dr. Corday, Dr. Weaver is looking for you."

"Abby, uncover your eyes," teased Elizabeth. "Where is she?"

"She'll meet you out at the admit desk in a few minutes," said Abby as she glanced at Robert. "Are you ok, Dr. Romano? I heard about your arm."

"I'm fine. And by the way, you are forgiven for the comment earlier," he said with a smile as he left the room.

"What comment was that?" asked Elizabeth curiously.

"I was helping him gown up for a trauma this morning and he said 'gloves too'. I asked if he wanted both. It just sort of slipped out," said Abby with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Don't worry I would have said the same thing. There's just something about Robert that brings out the sarcasm in all of us," mused Elizabeth.

Abby laughed a bit and held the door for Elizabeth. After meeting up with Kerry and seeing her patients Elizabeth headed home. She called out to Robert and Ella as she opened the front door. When she didn't get a response she headed for the backyard. The scene before her brought a smile to her face. Ella was laughing in the swing of the new wooden playset Elizabeth had gotten her for her 2nd birthday. Robert sat on the swing next to her, swinging slowly, dragging his feet through the sand. When Ella caught sight of her mother she called to her. "Mommy, Mommy,” Robert looked up at Elizabeth and smiled but didn't make a move to get up. He was tired and didn't want to interrupt the mother/daughter bonding moment.

After hugging her mother, Ella was ready to get down from the swing. Elizabeth set her down to run around. "Did you order dinner?" she asked as she stood in front of Robert.

"Should be here in about 15 minutes," he answered as he glanced at the watch on his right wrist. He'd only recently stopped glancing at his left wrist for the time. As his swing stopped completely Elizabeth took a step closer and put her hands on his shoulders. With a weary sigh Robert leaned forward enough to rest his head against her stomach.

"Are you ok?" she asked quietly as she ran her hand over the back of his head. Robert just shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to voice a reply. Elizabeth didn't push the issue. Instead she gave a sad smile, kissed his forehead and pulled him to his feet. He went inside to wait for the Chinese food while Elizabeth played with Ella.

It was a nice spring evening, the warmer weather had finally settled in to stay in Chicago. They ate out on the deck, watching the sunset. When Elizabeth took Ella inside to get her ready for bed Robert stayed out on the deck with his glass of wine. Elizabeth found him dozing lightly in the lounge chair when she came out. She had brought an afghan out and tossed it over him. She pressed her hand to his cheek. "I'm not running a fever," he muttered without opening his eyes.

"I know that now," smirked Elizabeth as she pushed his legs over a little so she could sit down. "But seriously you need to keep an eye on things. The road from fine to septic can be a short one."

"Thank you, Dr. Corday," he snorted.

"Robert, do you think for once you could just accept my concern?"

"I'm trying," he muttered. He reached for his wine and took a big gulp. It was clear to Elizabeth that the conversation was over. They watched the stars appear and finished the wine. It had been a long day and when Elizabeth started yawning a little after 9 Robert sent her to get ready for bed while he went to finish cleaning up the kitchen. He started the dishwasher and grabbed his briefcase from the front hallway. He settled down on the couch with a book on the latest trends in ER medicine. He'd made the decision that if he was going to succeed at all in the ER he would need to catch up on what he was supposed to be doing.

The next morning Elizabeth woke up a little after 6. As she walked down the stairs she realized she didn't even know if Robert had spent the night. A quick glance at the couch in the family room and she had her answer. He was sound asleep on the couch, left arm hanging off, his book across his chest. She smiled at the sight and went to move the book and put his left arm over his chest. She headed to the kitchen to start the coffee maker before she woke him.

An hour later they were on their way to the hospital.

Unfortunately the next few days were rough on Robert. The infection in his arm got steadily worse, as did his attitude. He was hanging on by a thread, barely sleeping or eating. Elizabeth tried to keep on top of things, tried to make sure he took care of himself but it was proving to be an uphill battle. It was clear he wasn't in the mood to be helped. Thing between the two of them became strained both in and out of work. They were short with each other; Robert was unwilling to let her in and Elizabeth was unwilling to stand by while he slid into a dark and dangerous place.

A week later, after another crappy day in the ER Robert went home a little on the early side with a headache. He kicked off his shoes, fed Gretel and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

As the fire engulfed his arm he saw his future go up in flames.

**************************

As Elizabeth leaned on the railing and watched Robert walk away from her she tried her best to hold her emotions in check. She could never remember a time when he looked so small, so defeated. When he reached the corner he turned around for a second to glance back at her. He gave a half hearted wave before he disappeared. When he was out of sight Elizabeth turned to lean over the railing and allow the tears to start falling. She gave herself a few minutes before pulling herself together and heading back to the hospital to check the OR schedule. She could have done it in the morning but she knew she wouldn't sleep if she went home.

Although Dr. Gunn was away on vacation things were going to move quickly. Elizabeth made arrangements with Dr. Klein to perform the procedure. He wanted to admit Robert to the hospital the following night to get him started on some IV antibiotics and do the amputation the morning after that. Elizabeth was debating how Robert would feel about that when her cell phone rang. It was Kris, letting her know that Robert had just turned up on her doorstep. Elizabeth told Kris to tell Robert she would be there shortly and that she could head home.

As she tucked the list of things Robert needed to do the following morning in her coat pocket Elizabeth turned out the light in her office and headed for the elevator.

When she got home she found Robert on the back deck sitting on the end of the lounge chair in his pajamas and slippers. He had an afghan tossed over his shoulders and a cup of tea on the table next to him. It was clear he was spending the night, something he hadn't done in over a week. Leaving the door open so she would be able to hear Ella if she woke, Elizabeth joined him. "Robert," she said softly as she was unsure if he'd heard her come out. He looked over his shoulder at her but didn't say anything. Elizabeth joined him on the lounge chair. She leaned forward and rubbed his back for a minute. Robert leaned into her touch and eventually scooted back as Elizabeth stretched out her legs. She pulled him back against her chest, threw the blanket over the two of them and wrapped her arms around him. She thought it was strange the way they could go from snarking at each other, to being the best of friends, to almost being more than that in the blink of an eye. "I made some phone calls. Gunn is on vacation. How do you feel about Klein?"

"He's good; I've seen some of his work. When can he do it?"

"Day after tomorrow," she said, not sure what his reaction to that would be.

She felt Robert take a deep breath and exhale slowly as a million thoughts ran through his head. "Fine, better to get it over with."

"OK, I have a list of things he needs you to do before then. You'll have to be admitted tomorrow night so he can get some antibiotics started."

Robert just nodded as he pulled his right hand out from under the afghan and picked up his tea. "Is it ok to give up?" he asked quietly.

"You're not giving up."

"An hour ago you thought I was," he said.

"I didn't think that. Your decision took me by surprise, that's all. I wasn't expecting it to happen this fast."

"You haven't seen my arm," he said miserably.

"No, I haven't."

"I'd like to keep it that way," he whispered.

"OK," replied Elizabeth. She realized that it was important to him to, for lack of a better word; shelter her, from his latest accident. Letting her treat the first infection in his arm had been a big step for him. One he wouldn't have taken if she hadn't come into the room when he was trying to do it himself. He respected her medical opinion, even if he rarely admitted it, but he needed her more as a friend at that moment.

Robert quietly met with Donald and Kerry early the next morning to let them know he would need to take a medical leave. Dr. Klein met with him over breakfast in the cafeteria to go over the procedure. The Prosthetics department didn't have a lot of time to see Robert on such short notice but they gave him some literature and would be by to see him the day after the surgery. After having some blood work and a chest x-ray done he made some calls to his insurance company, spent some time with Gretel and took Dorothy out to an early dinner. A little before 7 that night he quietly checked himself into the hospital. Elizabeth had offered to come with him but he declined the offer. He just wanted to settle in, start the course of antibiotics and take a sleeping pill.

That is exactly what he did.

Elizabeth got to the hospital very early the next morning. She went up to check on Robert; half hoping he would still be asleep. She didn't know what to say or how to act. The line between doctor and friend was a hard one to toe. As was her luck lately Robert was awake when she got there. And none too happy either. He was grumbling about the inept nurses on the floor. "Good morning to you too, Robert," said Elizabeth with a grin from the doorway.

"Lizzie. You're here early," he said, not sure if he was happy to see her or not.

"I'm covering the ER and I wanted to check on a few patients first."

"And I was at the top of your list?" he asked bitterly.

"Yes. What happened to the IV?" she asked as she motioned to his right hand which should have had an IV port in it.

"It infiltrated and the idiot nurse couldn't find another vein. They can restart it in the OR," he grumbled.

"The surgery still scheduled for 9?"

Robert nodded. He wanted her to be there but was too stubborn to ask.

"Do you need anything before I get to work?" asked Elizabeth, clearly beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable.

"No," he replied quietly.

Elizabeth turned to leave and had her hand on the doorknob when she inhaled deeply, willed back her tears and walked over to the bed. Much to both their surprise she leaned over, cupped Robert's cheek and kissed him softly. She left before either one could say a word.

**************************

After handing Dr. Klein the bone saw Elizabeth just sat on the stool next to Robert's arm. Her hands were idle for the moment, her assistance wasn't needed as the bone saw clicked on and the noise filled the room, competing for space in her consciousness with the sound of the ventilator, the cardiac monitor, and Dr. Klein's endless chatter. She glanced over her shoulder at Robert. Her eyes drifted from his face to his bare chest crisscrossed with wires and tubes. His chest rose and fell with regularity and she found herself willing her own breathing to slow down. She turned her gaze back to his arm. She hadn't seen the burns until she'd arrived in the OR. She thought she had been prepared to see them, but she wasn't and she was glad Robert wasn't conscious and able to witness her reaction. Willing back her tears and emotions she did the only thing that made any sense to her at the time, she held his hand.

"Would you like the honors?" she heard Dr. Klein ask her as he motioned towards Robert's elbow. The thought appalled her but she just declined quietly. After the arm was free she gently picked it up and deposited it in the waiting bag. She walked around the gurney as Dr. Klein shaved down the bone and prepared to suture the skin that covered what was left of Robert's arm. The resident was more than eager and able to assist. With her foot, Shirley pushed an empty stool towards Elizabeth, her sad expression more than evident from behind her surgical mask. Elizabeth sat down next to Robert's head and pulled off her bloody gloves. She tossed them in the bin before taking off her glasses. As the procedure wound down she rested her hand on his bare shoulder and just watched his face.

"OK, we're done," announced Dr. Klein as he stood up and stretched. Shirley was in the middle of applying a pressure dressing as Elizabeth stood up. "Are you going to accompany him to Recovery?" she asked Elizabeth.

"Yes, I think I will," she said sadly as she pulled her mask off and took another long look at Robert's face.

Twenty minutes later they were still in the OR. Things were backed up in the Recovery so Elizabeth and Shirley just pushed the gurney to the side of the room and Elizabeth was sitting next to him waiting for him to come around enough to remove the tube from his throat. He was triggering the vent but still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Robert, can you hear me," said Elizabeth as she removed the sensor from his forehead and rubbed his shoulder. His eyelids fluttered a little and with great effort he turned his head to face her. He opened his eyes slightly and with his right hand reached towards the ET tube. "Don't," she whispered as she moved his hand away from his face. "Are you ready?" Robert gave an almost imperceptible nod of his head. "OK, you know the drill, deep breath in and blow out." Robert did as he was told and Elizabeth pulled the tube free. Shirley took the tube from her and raised the head of Robert's bed a little as he sputtered and coughed.

"You ok, Dr. Romano?" she asked as she reached to wipe his mouth. He nodded a little and closed his eyes again. Shirley placed the nasal oxygen tubing over his ears and turned on the flow. Robert had knocked the sensor off his finger when he reached for the tube in his throat and she replaced it with a small laugh.

"What?" asked Elizabeth.

"When he came in I put the pulse ox sensor on his left hand out of habit. I wasn't even thinking," explained Shirley.

"Don't worry about it. He probably won't even remember," said Elizabeth with a little smile. The smile quickly faded as she looked down and noticed blood oozing through the pressure bandage on Robert's arm. "Damn," she muttered as she sat down on the stool next to him. She pulled back Robert's gown, exposing his shoulder. Shirley grabbed two pairs of gloves and sat down to help unwrap the bandage. Elizabeth used the silver nitrate sticks to stem the bleeding. All the while Robert muttered in a drug induced fog, giving surgical orders and rambling on. Elizabeth focused her attention on the task at hand, not emotionally equipped to deal with his ramblings. She muttered a few comments back until his one last remark floored her. He told her he loved her. She was stunned for a few seconds. "And you need to get some rest," she said with a nervous laugh. "I'll check on you later." She ordered a fresh pressure dressing and left the room as quickly as she could. She went to the surgical locker room, hoping it would be empty. No luck, there were two other surgeons in there. She grabbed her scrub coat out of her locker and headed towards the elevator with no particular destination in mind. She wandered around for a while until Shirley paged her to let her know they were moving Robert to a private room.

He was still basically incoherent when Elizabeth arrived at his side. "He's still out of it, he told me he loved me," said Shirley with a chuckle as she hung another bag of IV fluids. "Are you off now?"

Elizabeth looked at her watch, "Yes, as of ten minutes ago. I have to make a phone call, check on Ella."

"I'll stay with him," offered Shirley as she sat down on the chair next to the bed.

Elizabeth called home and made arrangements for Kris to spend the night with Ella. Deep down Elizabeth knew she'd be spending the night at the hospital. Shirley stuck her head out of Robert's room, "He's asking for you."

Elizabeth hung up the phone at the nurses' station and entered Robert's room. His eyes were cracked open just enough for him to realize she was there. "Lizzie," he said his voice hoarse and barely audible.

"I'm here. Don't try to talk," she said as she sat down on the chair next to the bed. "Here, drink a little" she said as she poured him a cup of water and held the straw to his lips. He managed to get a few sips down before collapsing back against the pillow.

"Damn ET tube," he croaked after he swallowed painfully.

Elizabeth nodded as she wiped at a drop of water that had dripped down on his chin. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap," he groaned as he struggled to sit up a little.

Elizabeth raised the head of the bed a bit more, "OK, telling me you feel like crap isn't very helpful," she teased gently as she reached to squeeze his right hand.

"Lightheaded, sick to my stomach and my throat hurts."

"And your arm?"

"What arm?" he asked bitterly, regretting it instantly.

"Robert," Elizabeth said as she moved to sit down on the edge of the bed. She'd been walking a fine line between doctor and friend all day. Playing the role of the doctor had made some things easier during the day but now she just couldn't ignore the pain in his eyes and the defeated look on his face. She adjusted the oxygen tubing and caressed his cheek. "Klein left an order for Compazine, would you like a shot?" she asked, ignoring his comment about his arm.

Robert nodded as he fidgeted a little trying to get comfortable. "It's starting to throb," he admitted softly as Elizabeth got up to go out to the nurses' station.

"OK, would you like me to see what he ordered for pain or are you going to be stubborn about it?" she asked with a little smile.

"Get the good stuff," he said, faintly returning the smile.

Elizabeth returned with a can of ginger ale, a shot of Compazine, something for pain and a blanket from the warmer. She injected the Compazine into Robert's thigh, the pain meds in the IV tubing and handed him the soda. "Drink a little," she said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She leaned over a little to check the pressure bandage. There was no sign of active bleeding. Robert handed her the can of soda and put the head of the bed back down. Elizabeth carefully lifted up the stump and slid the warm blanket under it to prop it up a little.

"Feels good," Robert muttered as the warmth from the blanket seeped through the bandage. Elizabeth folded the other half of the blanket up and over his arm.

"Get some sleep," she whispered as she leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"You'll be here when I wake up?" Robert asked anxiously.

"I may not be right here but I'll be in the hospital. You can page me if I'm not here," said Elizabeth as she moved the phone a little closer to him.

"Thank you Lizzie, for everything," Robert whispered as he closed his eyes.

"You're welcome. Sleep."

*******************

Robert slept restlessly for a few hours under the watchful eye of Elizabeth. He started to stir uncomfortably a little before 6 and Elizabeth moved to perch on the bed next to him. She put her hand on his chest and he calmed instantly under her touch. "Lizzie," he muttered without opening his eyes.

"It's me."

"What time is it?" he asked as he reached up to rub his eyes with his right hand.

"It's about 6. Do you want to sit up a little?" she asked. Robert nodded a little and she reached for the control. "How are you feeling?"

"Better I think. But still a little fuzzy."

"You look a little better, not quite so pale." she asked as she pulled the blanket off of his shoulder and took a quick look at the bandage. "No bleeding, that's good. How's the pain?"

"Not bad, for now."

"Good." They turned their attention towards the door as the dietary aide walked in with a dinner tray. She set the tray on the table and left quickly. "What is it?" he asked warily.

"Jell-O, broth and tea," she said, trying to sound upbeat. Robert just groaned. "You'll get a regular tray tomorrow." she reminded him. Robert just grumbled and pushed the food away.

"Robert," Elizabeth said, slipping seamlessly back into doctor mode. "You need to eat something, your body needs..."

"Lizzie, please, I've given that speech a million times," he said wearily.

"I know," she said as she pushed the tray away from the bed. "How about I go to that new water ice place around the corner?" she offered, hoping to get him to eat something.

"Sure. Lemon," replied Robert without much enthusiasm.

"I'll be right back," she said as she patted his hand.

After Elizabeth left Dr. Klein stopped by to check on Robert. He unwrapped Robert's arm to take a quick look. Robert declined the offer to take a peek. He wasn't ready and Dr. Klein didn't push the issue. Everything seemed to be going pretty well. The two discussed Robert's rehab schedule and Dr. Klein said someone from the Prosthetics Department would be by in the morning to drop off some more literature and answer any questions Robert might have. Throughout the conversation Robert was quiet and vaguely withdrawn, prompting Dr. Klein to make a note to have someone come down from Psych to talk to Robert the next day. Dr. Klein left Robert with an order to eat something, get some rest, get out of bed soon and to not be stubborn about pain meds.

By the time Elizabeth returned Robert was curled up on his side staring out the window. He made no effort to sit up even though he heard her enter the room. Elizabeth set the bag down on the tray table and took a seat next to him. She tentatively put her hand on his left shoulder. He flinched, out of habit more than pain. "I ran into Dr. Klein on the way back. Things look good."

"That's what he said," muttered Robert as he rolled over onto his back and sat up slowly.

"Would you like to get out of the bed for a while?"

"Uh, not particularly," he muttered as he glanced over the side of the bed and gestured towards the foley bag.

"Oh. Sorry, I forgot about that. If you're ready to get out of bed we can take it out."

"We?" asked Robert with just the hint of a smirk.

"The nurse, Robert. We have bonded enough over the last few months, thank you very much," said Elizabeth with a grin on her face.

The nurse came in, removed the foley, checked the IV and disconnected the oxygen. She nodded towards Elizabeth in the hall as she left the room.

"OK, you ready to get up?" asked Elizabeth as she came back into the room.

"I think so. Did my bag make it up here?"

Elizabeth found his bag, grabbed his bathrobe and slippers and helped him into them. "Now, take it slow. Remember your center of gravity is off," she said as he slid towards the edge of the bed. Elizabeth took him by the right hand and pulled him gently to his feet. "Just stand for a minute. Are you ok?" she asked, taking in his pale complexion. Robert nodded and took a deep breath as Elizabeth grabbed the IV stand. With her help he shuffled to the chair by the window. While he got settled Elizabeth grabbed the water ice and some napkins. She handed him the cup with a spoon stuck in it. He eyed it warily and glanced towards Elizabeth with a helpless look. She sighed and shook her head, "I'm sorry," she said as she took out the spoon and handed it to him. "We're sharing anyway, I'll hold the cup," she said with an overly cheery smile.

Robert ate a little, not really enough for Elizabeth's liking but she didn't say anything. He was quiet and withdrawn, neither of which came as a surprise to Elizabeth. Her attempts at conversation, both lighthearted and serious were met with an occasional one word answer and more often than not, a mere shrug of the shoulders.

They watched in silence as the sun set over the Chicago skyline and the stars came out. Just as Elizabeth was starting to think he'd dozed off Robert began to shift uncomfortably in the chair. She got up from her own chair and knelt in front of him for a minute, right hand on his knee while she took a glance at her watch. "Robert, do you need something for pain?" she asked, pretty sure what his answer would be.

"Not yet," he said as he shifted again. "Can you help me up?"

"Ready to get back in bed?"

"Not yet. Think I can take a walk down the hall?"

"Klein wanted you out of bed, I'm sure he wouldn't object to a trip down the hall," replied Elizabeth with a smile. She stood and helped Robert to his feet, letting him stand for a minute so he could get his bearings. "Do you want me to push?" she asked as she pointed towards the IV stand.

"I'll do it. Tuck that in for me," he said motioning towards the sleeve of his bathrobe that was flapping freely. Elizabeth tucked it into his pocket.

"Ready?" she asked as she slipped her own shoes back on and ran her hands through her hair. Robert nodded and off they went. Elizabeth walked on his left side, her hand gently resting on his back. They made it down to the end of the hall and back before he gave in to his exhaustion. Elizabeth got him back in bed and got him something to drink. He fidgeted and squirmed around trying to get comfortable. Trying to give him some space Elizabeth sat in the chair by the window pretending to read a magazine. After she heard him roll over and curse under his breath for the fourth or fifth time she tossed her reading material aside and walked over to the bed. "What's wrong? Anything I can help with?" she asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"can't get comfortable," he said as his face contorted into a grimace.

"You can have more Vicodin," she said, glancing at her watch.

Robert adjusted the head of the bed a little more, trying to find a comfortable position. The pain was starting return but it was the overall stiffness that was preventing him from settling down. He thought the walk would take care of that. And it did help with the restless feeling in his legs but did nothing for his left shoulder. "It's not even the pain right now. My shoulder's just stiff."

Elizabeth nodded and motioned for him to roll over on his side, facing away from her. She gently put one hand on his shoulder and the other around what remained of his arm. "Let me know if I'm hurting you," she said as she carefully stretched out his shoulder. It was uncomfortable at first but as she loosened up some of the muscles Robert started to relax a bit. When she was done she rolled him onto his back, put a pillow under the stump and got him some Vicodin.

With the pain meds he was able to get to sleep fairly quickly. Taking the opportunity to get a good look at him Elizabeth remained on the edge of the bed. What struck her the most wasn't the sheer fact that he had only one arm. It was the fact that lying there on the hospital bed he looked so small and lost. Now it was true that Robert wasn't a big man by any stretch of the imagination. But curled up on the bed under the blankets he looked almost like a little kid. A frightened little kid. The crisp white sheets washed out his already pale complexion causing his freckles to stand out in stark contrast. Elizabeth reached out and ran her hand over his head. He felt a little warm to her but she didn't bother looking for the thermometer. It was only a matter of time before the nurse would arrive to check his vitals.

A little after 9:30 the nurse came in to check on things. She took Robert's vitals, sharing the readings with Elizabeth. He was doing fairly well all things considered. The only thing that was a little worrisome was the fact that his temperature was hovering just a little over 100. The risk of infection was very great due to the burns and the initial infection that hadn't completely healed. But he was on IV antibiotics and they could be adjusted as the need arose.

********************

As expected Robert slept well for about 5 hours, waking up a little after 3 stiff and uncomfortable. "Lizzie," he called in the direction of the recliner where she was getting some much needed sleep herself. "Lizzie."

"Robert," she muttered trying to clear the cobwebs from her brain. "Are you ok?" she asked as she struggled to adjust the recliner so she could get up.

"I need to, you know," he muttered as he pointed in the direction of the bathroom. With Elizabeth's help he got to the bathroom without great difficulty. As he washed his hand he glanced down at the sink and the sight of only one hand was more than he could handle. He lifted his gaze towards the mirror, the sight of his own reflection wasn't much better. He looked back down at the sink watching the water run over his hand. Flicking off the water with more force than needed he struggled to gain his composure before he completely lost it. For the better part of a year he'd been used to only having one functioning arm. But he was still used to looking down and seeing his left arm, whether it was in the sling, hanging loosely or tucked into his lab coat pocket, it was still there.

And now it wasn't.

As she heard his first choking gasp Elizabeth slipped into the bathroom. Robert was still standing in front of the sink, eyes down, not focusing on anything in particular. He made a half hearted attempt to wipe his eyes as Elizabeth reached out and put her hands on his shoulders. She pulled him back against her chest and reached around to tip up his chin so their eyes met in the mirror. "What can I do?" she whispered.

"I want to see it," he said as calmly as he could.

"Robert, it's the middle of the night. Why don't you get back in bed? You can..."

"Elizabeth," he said sharply. The use of her full name struck a chord with her.

"OK," she agreed. "Sit down," she said as she closed the lid on the toilet and steered him towards it.

She attempted to roll up the sleeve on his gown but that wasn't working. "Uh, Robert," she said sort of gesturing towards his lap.

"Yes, I'm wearing boxers," he said with half a grin.

"Good," she said with a nervous laugh. She untied the gown and pulled it off. Carefully she unwrapped the pressure bandage. The stump looked pretty good, no bleeding. "OK." Elizabeth stood up and took a step back, giving Robert a little space. "I'm going to have to wrap that when you're done. I'll be right back," she said as she left the room to get some supplies. Robert took a deep breath, stood up and looked in the mirror. He tried to look at it through a surgeon’s eye. Through those eyes it looked pretty good. No bleeding, minimally swelling. He tried to lift his shoulder a little to look at it from another angle but found it too stiff and painful. Banging his fist against the door he gave up his attempt to keep his emotions inside as Elizabeth entered the room. She took him by the shoulders and turned him around, taking him into her arms. He let everything out as she rubbed his back and whispered to him. She felt him take a halting breath as his whole body stiffened up. In one swift motion she lifted the lid to the toilet, turned him around in her arms and managed to keep him from taking a header into the edge of the sink as he knelt before the toilet to get sick. Having eaten nothing solid to speak of in over 24 hours Robert was reduced to dry heaving pretty quickly. Elizabeth held his head with one hand and wet a wash cloth with the other to put on the back of his neck.

Twenty minutes later just as Elizabeth was about to hit the red button on the wall to get some backup Robert finally picked up his head and reached for the cup of water on the edge of the sink. He rinsed his mouth and let Elizabeth help him to his feet. She got him settled on the bed, rewrapped his arm and helped him into a t-shirt and pajama pants. "Do you want the bed up or down?" she asked as she picked up the controller.

"Up a little, so it doesn't throb as much," he said weakly. Elizabeth raised the head of the bed a little and turned out the little light over his head.

"I'm going to get you something for pain. Do you need anything else? Sleeping pill?" she asked as she turned off the overhead light.

"A blanket from the warmer."

When Elizabeth came back a minute later Robert was squirming around trying to get comfortable. She gently wrapped his arm and shoulder in one warm blanket and spread the other one over him. "Better?" she asked as she ran her hand over his cheek. Robert nodded a little and scooted over a bit to give Elizabeth room to sit down on the bed. "Just a minute. I want to check your temperature, you feel very warm." A quick check with the ear thermometer gave her a reading of 100.4. After another trip to the nurse’s station for some Ibuprofen Elizabeth wearily kicked off her slippers and sat down on the recliner. Robert rolled over a little to face her and held out his hand in a silent request. Elizabeth hesitated a little, it had been nearly 3 weeks since they'd shared a bed and she didn't know if she felt comfortable with the idea. She didn't want him too feel like she pitied him, even thought deep down on some level she did. She was also worried about hurting him if she rolled over or reached out in her sleep. But at almost 4 in the morning and a full day of surgery on the schedule starting at 9 she agreed. She set the alarm on her watch and crawled into the bed. Robert had rolled onto his right side and she curled up against his back, her left arm around his waist. It was a strange sensation, not having his left hand to hold as she drifted off.

The sound of voices and the bright morning sun woke Elizabeth about 10 minutes before the alarm was set to go off. It was time for the shift change and the sound of the nurses talking in the hallway drifted in the room. Robert was curled up in the fetal position sound asleep next to her. She crept out of the bed, trying her best not to disturb him. She was just coming out of the bathroom when the nurse came in to check his vitals. "How high?" asked Elizabeth as the nurse took a glance at the thermometer.

"Just 100, hopefully we can keep it down. How did he sleep?"

"Fell asleep about 10, he was up from 3 to 4 and he's been out ever since. A little restless but not too bad," replied Elizabeth as she ran her fingers through her hair and found her shoes. "I need to go take a shower. Can you ask Dr. Klein to page me after he's had a chance to examine Dr. Romano?"

"Certainly Dr. Corday. Would you like me to page you when he wakes?"

"No, that's ok. I'll be in surgery. I'll check in on him when I have a free minute."

Elizabeth showered quickly and met Ella and Kris in the cafeteria for a quick breakfast. She took Ella to daycare and headed to the 4th floor. It was nearly noon by the time she made it back to check on Robert. He was down in the physical therapy room when arrived so she went to grab something for lunch. Robert was picking at his own lunch when she returned.

"Nothing good?" she asked with a laugh as she leaned against the door jamb.

"Well, it's better than that," he said motioning towards the container of yogurt in her hand. "In between surgeries?" he asked as he stabbed his fork into the bowl of macaroni and cheese in front of him.

Elizabeth pulled up a chair as she nodded. "How was PT?" she asked as she propped her feet up on the edge of the bed and ate her own lunch.

"Painful," he muttered, summing up the whole experience in one word. He was clearly not in the mood to elaborate and Elizabeth didn't push him.

"Did you talk to Prosthetics yet? How's your temp? Has Klein been in today?"

"Lizzie, please, enough with the 20 questions," said Robert wearily. It hit Elizabeth that what he needed most at the moment was a friend, not another medical professional.

"Sorry," she said as she put aside the empty yogurt cup and pushed aside Robert's half eaten lunch tray. She didn't comment on the minimal amount of food he'd eaten, nor did she comment on the fact he was in obvious pain. She just sat on the bed next to him and kissed his cheek, not even commenting on the fact that he was very warm. Robert fidgeted for a few minutes before getting up and using the bathroom. Elizabeth stayed where she was, he didn't ask for any help and she didn't offer any. She just sat cross legged near the head of the bed and thumbed through the magazine. When Robert came back out he grabbed a pillow and curled up with his head in her lap. With a gentle touch Elizabeth stretched out his shoulder and rubbed his back. Keeping one eye on the clock so she wouldn't be late for her next surgery she kept him company.

Which is what he really wanted at the moment.

With one last glance at her watch she patted Robert's shoulder and slid off the bed. "I'll be back before I head home. Get some rest," she said as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.

"Is Ella in daycare today?"

"Yes. Would you like me to bring her by later? How about we come up for dinner?" Elizabeth offered, happy to see his eyes light up from her suggestion.

"Sounds good," he said his face falling quickly, "But are you sure she won't be scared of the one armed freak," he asked.

"I've tried to explain things. But she's only two. She misses you. I'm sure she'll be fine. If she's not, we won't stay."

"OK."

********************

After Elizabeth headed back to work Robert drifted off watching television. He awoke a little while later to a metal on metal tapping sound. Cracking his eyes open he saw Dorothy sitting in the chair next to the bed, knitting needles moving at warp speed. "Hi," he muttered weakly.

"You're awake," she said as she put aside her knitting and scooted the chair closer. "How are you feeling?"

"How do I look?" he asked with a smirk as he raised the head of the bed a little.

"Like crap, Robbie," she said with a smile as she sat down on the bed next to him and squeezed his hand.

"Then I feel as lousy as I look," he sighed realizing he felt a lot worse than when he'd fallen asleep.

"You're warm," she pointed out as she pressed the back on her hand against his cheek.

"I'm sure the nurse will be here any minute to check on me," he said bitterly.

Dorothy tried her best to get him to talk---about anything but he was shutting down. She'd seen it before and knew he was heading for trouble. "Well, I have to get going. There's some Gatorade and some vanilla pudding in there," she said as she pointed at the shopping bag she had tossed on the end of the bed.

"Thanks," he said with a weary smile, "Sorry I'm not better company."

"It's ok Robbie. Get some rest. I'll stop by tomorrow. Call me if you need anything," she said as she picked up her knitting and put it in her tote bag. She straightened Robert's blanket and kissed his forehead, much to his amusement.

"I will," promised Robert, "And don't call me that," he called as she closed the door. Robert drank some Gatorade and made an attempt to eat some pudding but his appetite was almost nonexistent. The nurse came in, declared that his fever had indeed hit 101 and went to call Dr. Klein. Someone from the Prosthetics department stopped by to talk to Robert. He wasn't in any shape to even think about the decisions he would have to face in the coming weeks regarding a prosthetic device.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth's surgeries went well and after she checked on her patients in Recovery she headed for the daycare to pick up Ella. A quick trip to the cafeteria for chicken fingers for Ella and a salad for Elizabeth and they were on their way to Robert's room. As Elizabeth came off the elevator she noticed a Resident from the Psych department on his way out of Robert's room. "He's going to be in a great mood," she muttered to herself as she plastered on a smile.

As expected Robert was a little withdrawn and quiet. He picked at his dinner while Ella all but inhaled her own meal. When she was done she climbed up on the bed next to Robert. He pushed away his own meal as she finally took notice that his left arm was missing. She reached out to touch his shoulder. "Ella, don't," said Elizabeth as she stood up to take her daughter off the bed.

"Lizzie, she's fine," he said, waving her away. "Can you go get me a bottle of iced tea?" He wasn't all that thirsty and she knew it. But she also knew he and Ella needed some time alone. So she headed out of the room after raising the side of the bed so there was less danger of Ella tumbling out.

"Arm," said Ella as she tentatively touched his shoulder, "Gone."

"Yes, it's gone," said Robert sadly.

"Hurt?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, it hurts like a son....yeah, it hurts."

Ella kissed his cheek and curled up with her blond head resting on his left shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable position for Robert but he didn't move her. He clicked on the television to Nickelodeon. They watched Rugrats and just enjoyed spending time together. Meanwhile Elizabeth got Robert a bottle of tea and she took her time returning.

A little after 8 Elizabeth and Ella headed home. She was off the following day and promised to come by before he went to PT. Dorothy had volunteered to watch Ella so Elizabeth could spend time with Robert.

As expected Robert had a rough night. His fever spiked up to 102 and he was just plain miserable. Dr. Klein stopped by just after dawn the next morning, ordered some blood work, changed the antibiotic order and told him to take it easy for a while. Robert was almost back to sleep when he heard the door open again. "Lizzie?" he asked, without opening his eyes.

"No, Dr. Romano, it's Shirley."

Robert opened his eyes and tried to smile a little. "Come in," he said as he put the bed up a little. "Come to check up on me?" he asked, without a hint of hostility.

"I came to see how you're feeling. I heard you had a rough night," she said as she leaned on the back of the chair.

"You heard right. Do you have a few minutes?" asked Robert. He'd had a few things on his mind ever since waking up from the anesthesia and wanted to get some answers.

"Sure," replied Shirley as she sat down in the chair.

"I just have a couple of questions. When I was in surgery was Lizzie, was Dr. Corday there?"

"She came in about halfway through. She assisted for a little while and then she just watched."

"Watched?"

"Well, she sat next to your arm and....and," Shirley looked up to meet his eyes. It was clear he really wanted to know what happened in the OR.

"And what?"

"She held your hand. Dr. Klein asked if she wanted to use the saw. She declined. I think she was repulsed by the idea. Dr. Klein finished sawing the bone and Dr. Corday...." Shirley stopped short and wiped her eyes.

"She put the arm in the bag," Robert guessed. Shirley nodded.

"And when I was in Recovery?"

"You never actually made it to the Recovery Room. They were backed up so we kept you in the OR. Dr. Corday was there when you woke up. She pulled the ET tube and took care of the bleeder. You were pretty out of it but you did keep up your end of the conversation. Actually you didn't make much sense but you were very chatty," said Shirley with a laugh.

"I didn't embarrass myself did I?"

"Well, you told us you loved us. But that's about as bad as it got," admitted Shirley with a laugh.

Robert looked a little shocked and was very quiet.

"Dr. Romano, you were under the influence of some heavy duty drugs. Don't worry about it," Shirley said, trying to reassure him a little. She glanced at her watch and sighed. "I have to get to work. Do you need anything before I go?"

"Can you fill the water pitcher?"

"Certainly."

Shirley left the room just as Elizabeth was getting off the elevator. They didn't have a chance to talk as Shirley had just been paged. Having not talked to Robert or Dr. Klein that morning Elizabeth didn't know how bad the night had been. But one look at him from the doorway and she had a pretty good idea. He had the head of the bed almost all the way up, his knees pulled up, right arm draped over his legs. With a slight glance in her direction he acknowledged her presence. Tears that were welling up in his eyes began to spill down his cheeks. "Oh Robert," sighed Elizabeth as she sat down in front of him and put her hand on his knee. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead, startled at how warm he was. Figuring he was well aware of the fever she didn't say anything about it. "Did something happen when Shirley was in here?" Robert nodded. "Would you like to talk about it?" she asked as she tipped his chin up to look him in the eye.

"She just told me some things that happened in the OR. I know you held my hand and declined to chance to use the saw." Elizabeth nodded for him to continue. "She told me I muttered I was in love with both of you," he said with half a smile. Returning the smile she wiped a few of his tears away. "I don't remember anything after getting to the OR up until I woke up in here with you."

"That's normal, you know that," said Elizabeth gently. "I'm glad I could be there for you. Even if you don't remember it."

"You held my hand," Robert repeated, as if he couldn't believe.

"Yes, I held your hand. To be honest, I didn’t know what to do and that seemed like the right thing to do at that moment."

"Thank you," whispered Robert as he collapsed back against the pillow and closed his eyes.

"You're more than welcome Robert," she whispered back before shifting seamlessly back into doctor-mode. "Now, you're running quiet a fever. Did Dr. Klein stop by?"

"Yeah. He had some blood drawn, messed with the antibiotic order and told me to take it easy today. It hit 102 sometime overnight, if you're curious."

"Does he have any ideas about what could be going on?"

"Could be from the initial infection, the burns, a virus I picked up from the germ infested ER."

"Well, you're running very warm at the moment," she remarked as she ran her hand over his head. "Why don't you let me help you into some clean, dry pajamas? I'll change the sheets and see about getting you something better to eat," suggested Elizabeth as she pointed in the direction of the untouched breakfast tray. "Have you eaten anything?"

"Today?"

"Today, yesterday, the day before....anytime recently?" smirked Elizabeth.

"Not really. Some pudding and a little macaroni and cheese."

"Have you kept anything down?" asked Elizabeth, trying to find out if the problem was lack of appetite or the inability to keep anything down. She was leaning towards a little of both.

"The lemon water ice, that was about it," admitted Robert as he sat up and swung his feet over the side. "I'm going to go clean up a little. Can you grab some clothes out of my bag? And unhook this for a minute?" he asked as he shook the IV line."

Elizabeth released him from the IV and handed him a clean pair of pajama pants and a fresh t-shirt. "Do you need help?"

"I honestly have no idea," he said with a weary smile. "I'll yell if I need anything." Robert managed to wash his face, brush his teeth and put on his pants. He ran into a little trouble maneuvering the shirt over his head and the stump into the sleeve. "OK, yeah I need a little help," he muttered as he came out of the bathroom.

"OT should be by tomorrow. They'll help you start to regain some of your independence," she said as she helped him and steered him towards the chair. She hooked him back up to the IV and finished making up the bed. Robert bit back the sarcastic "Thank you DR. Corday," that threatened to escape his lips.

"Well, I don't think the water ice place is open at 8 AM," said Elizabeth as she glanced at her watch. "So what would you like from the cafeteria?" Robert just made a face at her suggestion.

"You're trying to kill me. What are you going to suggest next? Something from Doc Magoo's?" he muttered.

"Oh, you haven't heard. Doc Magoo's burned down."

"Great, well that should cut down on some of the food poisoning cases in the ER," joked Robert. "Dorothy brought some pudding, it's in the drawer. Let me try some of that."

As Robert predicted he had trouble getting much of the pudding down. He managed a few bites before his stomach protested. Elizabeth didn't push things. Unfortunately, the little bit of pudding didn't stay down very long. By the time Elizabeth cleaned Robert up and got him settled back down Dr. Klein came by to check on him. He shared the results of Robert's blood work and his plan for a different course of antibiotics. He wrote an order for Kytril to help control the nausea and vomiting as both seemed to be getting steadily worse as time wore on.

**********************

Storm clouds gathered over the lake signaling the impending arrival of a spring storm. Elizabeth pulled the chair up to the window to watch as Robert dozed on the bed. After a particularly loud crash of thunder reverberated through the room she turned around to check on Robert. Despite the noise he was sound asleep, curled up on his right side. Sighing wearily she got up to check on him. The timed-honored kiss to the forehead told her his temperature hadn't fallen much in spite of the large dose of Ibuprofen he'd taken. With a gentle touch she wiped his face with a cool, damp cloth before placing it on his forehead. Figuring he would be out for the foreseeable future she snuck down to her office to grab some paperwork to occupy her time.

An enormous crack of lightening pulled Robert out of a dreamless sleep. The storm darkened sky left him completely disoriented as he struggled to sit up. Deciding that sitting up was going to take too much energy he just collapsed back against the slightly damp pillow. He looked around and determined that he was alone in the room. He figured Elizabeth had just stepped out for a few minutes. The sound of thunder and the flash of lightning were just adding to the pounding of his head and the vaguely nauseous feeling in his stomach.

Elizabeth found him curled up in a ball when she returned a few minutes later. "Hey, you're awake. You could have paged me," she said as she put her paperwork down and sat on the edge of the bed. She picked up the damp cloth that had fallen onto the pillow and wiped his face again. "I guess I don't have to ask if you feel any better?" she asked as she took note of his pale complexion and glassy eyes. He just shook his head the slightest bit. "Pick up your head," she said as she reached to turn the pillow over. He sighed as his head fell back on the cool, dry cotton.

"When did it start raining?"

"About an hour ago. You slept through the worst of it. It looks like it's slowing down a little. I'll swim over to the water ice place when it stops," teased Elizabeth as she pulled the blanket back and took a peek at the bandage. "Looks good. How's it feel?"

"Hurts," he admitted.

"You're due for Vicodin. And here it is now," said Elizabeth as the nurse came in the room. She took a step back to allow the nurse to check his vitals.

"101.8," declared the nurse as she caught Elizabeth's eye. "Pressure's a little low too," she added as she stuck the pulse ox sensor on his finger to check the level. "94," she announced as she looked at Robert before reaching for the nasal prongs. He nodded his head and let her place the tubing over his ears. "Is there anything else you need Dr. Romano?" she asked as she jotted down a few notes.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," whispered Robert in an uncharacteristically sweet voice. The nurse gave a smile to both of them and headed out to see her next patient. Robert took the Vicodin with a little ginger ale and settled back down on the pillow.

"Now I know you don't feel well. You were actually pleasant to the nurse," teased Elizabeth. Robert just gave a little smirk in her direction. "Robert, you look absolutely miserable. What can I do for you?" asked Elizabeth feeling quite helpless at the moment.

"Just sit with me until I fall back to sleep," he said, his voice hoarse and weak. He was honestly unsure what he needed or wanted. All he knew was he didn't want to be alone.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him as she pulled the sheet up over his chest and propped up his left shoulder on a folded blanket. The pain killers knocked him out about ten minutes later much to Elizabeth's relief; the thing he needed most at the moment was rest.

Elizabeth sat by the window and threw herself into the pile of long overdue paperwork for the next hour or so. Anything to take her mind off of Robert. Unfortunately it was hard to forget he was right behind her. His sleep was anything but peaceful; he moaned and rolled around every few minutes. She got up a couple of times and checked on him, pulling the sheet back up over him, adjusting the oxygen and generally fussing over him. After putting the cool cloth back on his forehead for the third tie she heard someone knocking lightly. Abby stuck her head in and gave a little wave. "I can come back," she said when she realized Robert was asleep.

"No, please come in. I could use some company," said Elizabeth as she waved her in. She motioned towards the two chairs by the window. The two women settled down and sat silently for a few minutes.

"Are you on a break?" asked Elizabeth.

"No, I was on last night. It was busy so I stayed for a few hours. I just figured I would stop by before I went home. We haven't gotten any information downstairs. And I'm sure he wants it that way. But I wanted to check on him anyway. Maybe I shouldn't have..." she started, suddenly feeling like she shouldn't have come up to Robert's room.

"Abby, it's fine. Yes, he's trying to keep things quiet but I think he'd be grateful you stopped by," said Elizabeth, trying to reassure her.

"How is he?" asked Abby, not wanting to pry but genuinely concerned.

"Could be better. Temp's up to around 102. We're waiting on some cultures. Not sure where the infection is coming from. Could be the burns, the first infection, we just don't know. He's in a fair amount of pain, more than he lets on, I'm sure. The stump looks pretty good. Hasn't had much luck keeping anything down. So all in all, he's rather miserable."

"How about emotionally?" Abby asked tentatively, quickly adding, "Not that it's any of my business."

"Don't be silly. You've been pretty understanding lately. More so than a lot of other people. He appreciates you checking up on him, even if he never admits it. Dr. Klein sent a Psych resident down to talk to him. I didn't even bother asking how that went. Anyway, he's been very quiet," said Elizabeth as she looked over her shoulder at his sleeping form. "Doesn't show much interest in starting therapy, getting his life back. The only smile I've seen was when I brought Ella up to visit."

Abby chuckled a little, "It's hard to imagine him bonding with a child."

"It's amazing actually, he's like a different person," said Elizabeth as she got up to check on Robert. He'd been moaning and moving around more in the last half hour or so. His moaning had just given way to talking in his sleep and she went to sit with him. As after the surgery he was calling out surgical orders unaware of his surroundings. Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the bed and put her hand on his shoulder, hoping to wake him, or at least calm him a little. "Robert," she said softly but firmly as she leaned down towards his left ear.

"Watch the bleeder...don't contaminate the field...what's his pressure?" Robert rambled as Elizabeth tried her best to wake him without startling him. Abby had gotten up from her chair and went to stand on the other side of the bed. She couldn't believe how pale and small Robert looked there on the bed. Unsure of what to do she just stood by in case her help was needed. Elizabeth put her hand on Robert's forehead. "Abby, can you get a temp?"

"Sure," she replied. Abby went out to find the thermometer, coming back a few minutes later. She gently stuck the probe in Robert's ear. "102.3," she announced.

"Damn, it's still rising," muttered Elizabeth as she looked down at his face. He'd calmed down a little, the muttering had stopped. "Robert, can you hear me?" she asked as she gently turned his face towards hers.

"Lizzie," he croaked through chapped, dry lips.

"Yes, it's me."

"Water," he muttered. Elizabeth caught Abby's eye over the bed and motioned for her to refill the water pitcher. Robert's gaze followed Elizabeth's and he gave a weary smile in Abby's direction.

"Abby," he mouthed, no sound actually coming out.

"Hi," replied Abby with a little wave in his direction as she headed for the bathroom.

"Did Kerry...send her up to...check on me?" he asked his voice ragged and faint.

"No," replied Elizabeth firmly, “She came because she was worried about you. She cares Robert, you know that." Robert nodded in agreement.

Abby came out of the bathroom and poured a cup of water for Robert. She held the straw to his lips while he took a few tentative sips. As nice as the cool water felt he didn't want to press his luck and drink too much. "What time is it?" he asked as he collapsed back against the pillow.

"Almost noon." answered Abby. "I was going to go get something for lunch. Can I get you anything Dr. Romano? I'm sure you're not looking forward to hospital food for lunch. How about a milkshake, a water ice, ice cream?" Elizabeth gave her a grateful smile as the nurse tried her best to get him interested in eating something.

"Water ice. Lemon," Robert whispered.

"No problem. Dr. Corday, would you like anything?"

"As long as you're going to get water ice I'll have watermelon."

"Lizzie you need to eat lunch too," teased Robert managing to get enough energy to speak in a complete sentence.

"Fine, bring me an egg salad sandwich," said Elizabeth as she tried to glare at him.

"OK, I'll be back in a while," said Abby with a smile. She turned to look back towards the two of them as she headed out the door. Elizabeth had leaned over to press a kiss to Robert's forehead and he was reaching for her hand. Abby smiled to herself and closed the door.

"Before you ask, I don't feel any better," grumbled Robert.

"Your temp's over 102. I don't imagine you do."

"Can you flip the pillow over?" he asked as he tried to lift his head up. Elizabeth gently cradled his head in her one hand and turned the pillow over with the other.

"How about a dry shirt?" she asked, realizing the one he was wearing was slightly damp. He nodded a little. She grabbed a shirt out of his bag, noting that he was his last clean one. Elizabeth helped Robert sit up and she pulled off his shirt. "Would you like me to see if I can wash that off?" she asked as she pointed to the remaining writing on his right arm.

"Sure," he said with a laugh. Elizabeth was able to remove the marker with some soap and warm water. "Your razor is in the bag. Do you want to shave?"

"Nah," muttered Robert as he ran his hand over his chin.

"I kind of like it actually," admitted Elizabeth as she ran her own hand over the red and gray stubble that covered his cheek. The gesture wasn't anything out of the ordinary for them but there was something more intimate about it. A sigh escaped Robert's lips and for the first time that day he gave a weak but genuine smile. Elizabeth returned the smile and reached for the damp cloth. It wasn't cool so she went to the bathroom to rewet it. She gently wiped his face and neck trying to make him a little more comfortable. By the time she helped him into the dry shirt the nurse came in for a vital check. Elizabeth excused herself for a few minutes when Robert realized he didn't have the energy to get up out of bed and use the bathroom. They'd bonded enough she didn't need to add bedpan to the list of things she had helped him with recently. She took the opportunity to grab a cup of coffee and stretch her legs a little.

"102.1. In case you're curious," muttered Robert as Elizabeth came back into the room.

"Concerned is the correct term Robert, not curious," replied Elizabeth, only half joking.

"Whatever," mumbled Robert.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and sat down on the window sill. "Robert, what the hell just happened? Ten minutes ago you were relatively calm and pleasant, considering the circumstances. The nurse came in and now you're...you're...."

"Back to normal?" he spit out, quickly realizing he had right or reason to be nasty with her.

Elizabeth cracked a smile and moved to sit next to him. "You're frustrated, I know. But don't push me away, please,” Robert apologized. Abby returned 10 minutes later with lunch. Robert managed to finish most of the water ice and more importantly he kept it down for longer than half an hour.

Robert slept for a good part of the afternoon and managed to sit up in the chair for a little while before dinner. Dorothy brought Ella by so the four of them could eat together. Robert's face lit up for the first time that day when Ella came bounding into the room. After dinner Robert and Ella watched cartoons while Dorothy knitted and Elizabeth went to check the surgical schedule for the following day. She had a busy day with 3 surgeries and 2 meetings. The thought of rescheduling some things or trading with another surgeon crossed her mind but she needed to throw herself into her work, to get her mind off of Robert. She would still be able to check on him during the day.

A little after 8 Elizabeth and Ella headed for home. Dorothy stuck around for a while keeping Robert company until he was out for the night. She fussed with the blankets for a while and put away the extra clothes she'd brought for him. When she was sure he was sound asleep she kissed his cheek and left.

************************

By noon the next day they managed to hit upon the right combination of antibiotics and Robert's temperature began to fall. By dinnertime it was hovering around 100 and he was starting to get restless. Elizabeth had just gone home to give Ella dinner and was going to come back for a little while after she put Ella to bed.

As Elizabeth was getting ready to leave her house Robert called with a request for a cheeseburger and a milkshake. She was only too happy to fulfill his request. When she got to the hospital Robert was arguing with the Dr. Klein about pain medication. He wanted to stop the Vicodin and just take Ibuprofen. Quickly realizing he was fighting a losing battle Klein relented when Robert agreed to take the Vicodin at night. Elizabeth just stood in the doorway and shook her head.

"He's all yours," teased Dr. Klein as he left the room.

Robert gave her a sheepish grin and reached for the bag of food. She didn't offer to help and he managed to get everything opened by himself, even if it took a little longer than usual. He ate everything plus some pudding Dorothy had brought him. Elizabeth sat there amazed that the man in front of her was the same one who had done nothing but sleep the previous day.

And so the next few days went relatively smoothly. The IV was disconnected when Robert proved he could keep enough food down and the antibiotic order was adjusted to let him take everything orally. He managed to keep his sats up and the oxygen tank was removed from the room. Much to Elizabeth's surprise he threw himself into PT and OT.

After another few nights in the hospital he was antsy to get out. His temperature had been normal for 2 days and he was starting to drive every nurse on the floor screaming in the other direction. Even Dr. Klein had taken to only stopping by once a day. There were only a few people who could come into the room safely, Elizabeth, Ella, Dorothy and Abby.

It had been almost a week since the surgery and Elizabeth had been very busy for a few days. She was looking forward to a day off. She took Ella out to breakfast and then to the park. They picked up sandwiches for lunch and went to have lunch with Robert. He was in rare form; completely back to his old snarky self. The nurses were beginning to draw straws when it came to deciding who was going to go in and check his vitals. Nobody wanted to cross the threshold into his room. But his disposition changed completely in Ella's presence to the amusement of the nursing staff and Dr. Klein who stopped by on his lunch break.

A little wheeling and dealing later Dr. Klein agreed to discharge Robert the following morning on the condition that he not go home alone. Dorothy was about to go on vacation for a few days so Elizabeth said she would come stay with him as she had arranged to take some time off. She was sure that wasn't the wisest decision she'd ever made but she made it without hesitation. Robert was both pleased and nervous. He didn't know how much help he was going to need and didn't want to feel pitied by Elizabeth. But he was also looking forward to spending some time with her without being under the eye of the hospital staff. Their relationship, such as it was, was stalled at slightly more than friends. And at the moment that was working for them. A week after life altering surgery wasn't exactly the right time to be making more life altering decisions.

On the morning of Robert's discharge Elizabeth packed up his things while he met with Dr. Klein and someone from the PT department to set up his therapy schedule. It was only a little after noon when they got to Robert's place but he was exhausted. Against his rather feeble protests Elizabeth tucked him into bed and drew the curtains closed. He fought his exhaustion for all of 20 minutes and ended up sleeping for almost 3 hours. By the time he woke up Elizabeth had just put Ella down for a nap. She was rummaging through the refrigerator trying to decide what to make for dinner.

"Ella sleeping?" asked Robert as he sat down at the island. Out of habit he reached to prop his left arm up on the counter. The action did not slip by Elizabeth but she wisely decided not to say anything.

"She just fell asleep. Are you hungry? I could make you something," Elizabeth offered as she set a package of chicken out on the counter.

"I'm not hungry. I'll just make some tea," he replied as he slid from the stool and grabbed the tea pot off of the stove. As he set it back on the burner he had a flashback to the last time he made tea. He stood frozen with his hand on the knob, unable to turn it on. Elizabeth came up next to him and gave his right hand a quick squeeze as she removed it from the knob. She flicked on the burner and steered Robert back to the stool. Neither one mentioned what had just happened.

Robert was quiet for the rest of the day. Elizabeth tried to give him space while still making sure she was within earshot if he needed anything. He went through the mail that had piled up while he was in the hospital. Dorothy had sorted it for him and slit the envelopes so he could read it easily. There was nothing much of importance other than some things from his insurance company and a few magazines that looked interesting. He took a long shower before dinner to try and relax.

Elizabeth gave Ella a bath in the big tub in Robert's bathroom after dinner while he took Gretel out in the back yard. After getting Ella settled for the night Elizabeth changed into her own pajamas and wandered downstairs to check on Robert. He was out on the deck, sitting on the steps nursing a beer. "Would you like some company?" she asked as she stepped outside.

"Always," said Robert with a small grin as he moved the bottle so she could sit next to him. They sat and shared the beer, watching Gretel run around chasing squirrels in the fading daylight. The silence was comforting, instead of stifling. The fresh air was a welcome change from the scent of the hospital that seemed to permeate everything they wore there. A little after 9 Robert started yawning and fidgeting.

"Bedtime," announced Elizabeth a few minutes later. Much to her surprise Robert didn't protest. He wearily dragged himself up the stairs as she went to the kitchen to get him a drink of water and some Vicodin. She set them on the night stand and sat down in the chair by the window. She idly flipped through a magazine while she waited for Robert to finish up in the bathroom. He came out and sat down on the ottoman. "How does it feel?" asked Elizabeth as she tentatively touched his left shoulder.

"Stiff. Can you help me stretch it out?"

"Of course." Robert settled down on the bed and Elizabeth gently helped him stretch out his shoulder. He mumbled his appreciation as the pain medication kicked in and his eyelids started to flutter. "Sleep, I'll be right here if you need anything," she assured him as she turned out the light.

Robert slept fairly well, waking once to use the bathroom. He was still sound asleep when Ella called from the crib a little after 7 the next morning. Elizabeth got her up and fed her before she woke Robert up so he could get ready for his therapy appointment.

And so the next few days went fairly smoothly. Robert went to therapy in the mornings and took it easy in the afternoons. He spent time out on the deck reading about emergency medicine and upper extremity prosthetic options.