Pilgrimage from Darkness
In a scene reminiscent of one a few weeks earlier Elizabeth
wrapped up Robert's arm and helped him into the sling. The word "amputation" hung in the
air even though neither had spoken it aloud.
Giving voice to it was something they weren't ready to do. As Elizabeth
stood behind him she pressed a kiss to the back of his head. She let out a chuckle as she realized she'd
left lipstick behind. Wiping it away
with her thumb she glanced at the clock.
It was almost time to pick up Ella.
Kris had a few days off so she put Ella in the hospital daycare. It was good for her to be around the other
kids and Elizabeth liked being able to check in on her during the day. Robert was known to sneak away from the ER
for a quick peek at his favorite little girl too.
"Are you heading home soon?" Elizabeth
asked him as she cleaned up the tray and instruments.
"Yeah, I've had enough for today.
Dorothy's picking me up," he replied with a hint of bitterness in
his voice. After some long conversations
with his doctors and Elizabeth he'd decided to give up driving all
together. It was just another decision
that forced him to face his diminishing independence. Deep down he knew he shouldn't have been
driving at all since the accident but he did anyway. He'd been considering hiring a driver but was
resisting. Dorothy had been very willing
to pick him up at night and Elizabeth
usually drove him in the morning.
"I still have to go upstairs and check on a few patients. Do you want to take Ella to my place? We can order something for dinner,"
suggested Elizabeth.
"Sure, sounds good. Am I going
to have trouble signing her out of daycare?"
"No. I put you on the
list," said Elizabeth with a
smile.
Robert returned the smile and kissed her cheek as Abby knocked softly and
stuck her head in the room. She stifled
a giggle and covered her eyes.
"Sorry, Dr. Corday, Dr. Weaver is looking for you."
"Abby, uncover your eyes," teased Elizabeth. "Where is she?"
"She'll meet you out at the admit desk in a few minutes," said
Abby as she glanced at Robert. "Are
you ok, Dr. Romano? I heard about your
arm."
"I'm fine. And by the way, you
are forgiven for the comment earlier," he said with a smile as he left the
room.
"What comment was that?" asked Elizabeth
curiously.
"I was helping him gown up for a trauma this morning and he said
'gloves too'. I asked if he wanted
both. It just sort of slipped out,"
said Abby with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Don't worry I would have said the same thing. There's just something about Robert that
brings out the sarcasm in all of us," mused Elizabeth.
Abby laughed a bit and held the door for Elizabeth. After meeting up with Kerry and seeing her
patients Elizabeth headed
home. She called out to Robert and Ella
as she opened the front door. When she
didn't get a response she headed for the backyard. The scene before her brought a smile to her
face. Ella was laughing in the swing of
the new wooden playset Elizabeth
had gotten her for her 2nd birthday.
Robert sat on the swing next to her, swinging slowly, dragging his feet
through the sand. When Ella caught sight
of her mother she called to her.
"Mommy, Mommy,” Robert looked up at Elizabeth
and smiled but didn't make a move to get up.
He was tired and didn't want to interrupt the mother/daughter bonding
moment.
After hugging her mother, Ella was ready to get down from the swing. Elizabeth
set her down to run around. "Did
you order dinner?" she asked as she stood in front of Robert.
"Should be here in about 15 minutes," he answered as he glanced
at the watch on his right wrist. He'd
only recently stopped glancing at his left wrist for the time. As his swing stopped completely Elizabeth
took a step closer and put her hands on his shoulders. With a weary sigh Robert leaned forward
enough to rest his head against her stomach.
"Are you ok?" she asked quietly as she ran her hand over the back
of his head. Robert just shrugged his
shoulders, not bothering to voice a reply.
Elizabeth didn't push the
issue. Instead she gave a sad smile,
kissed his forehead and pulled him to his feet.
He went inside to wait for the Chinese food while Elizabeth
played with Ella.
It was a nice spring evening, the warmer weather had finally settled in to
stay in Chicago. They ate out on the deck, watching the
sunset. When Elizabeth
took Ella inside to get her ready for bed Robert stayed out on the deck with
his glass of wine. Elizabeth
found him dozing lightly in the lounge chair when she came out. She had brought an afghan out and tossed it
over him. She pressed her hand to his
cheek. "I'm not running a
fever," he muttered without opening his eyes.
"I know that now," smirked Elizabeth
as she pushed his legs over a little so she could sit down. "But seriously you need to keep an eye
on things. The road from fine to septic
can be a short one."
"Thank you, Dr. Corday," he snorted.
"Robert, do you think for once you could just accept my concern?"
"I'm trying," he muttered.
He reached for his wine and took a big gulp. It was clear to Elizabeth
that the conversation was over. They watched the stars appear and finished the
wine. It had been a long day and when Elizabeth
started yawning a little after 9 Robert sent her to get ready for bed while he
went to finish cleaning up the kitchen.
He started the dishwasher and grabbed his briefcase from the front
hallway. He settled down on the couch
with a book on the latest trends in ER medicine. He'd made the decision that if
he was going to succeed at all in the ER he would need to catch up on what he
was supposed to be doing.
The next morning Elizabeth woke
up a little after 6. As she walked down
the stairs she realized she didn't even know if Robert had spent the
night. A quick glance at the couch in
the family room and she had her answer.
He was sound asleep on the couch, left arm hanging off, his book across
his chest. She smiled at the sight and went
to move the book and put his left arm over his chest. She headed to the kitchen to start the coffee
maker before she woke him.
An hour later they were on their way to the hospital.
Unfortunately the next few days were rough on Robert. The infection in his arm got steadily worse,
as did his attitude. He was hanging on
by a thread, barely sleeping or eating. Elizabeth
tried to keep on top of things, tried to make sure he took care of himself but
it was proving to be an uphill battle.
It was clear he wasn't in the mood to be helped. Thing between the two of them became strained
both in and out of work. They were short
with each other; Robert was unwilling to let her in and Elizabeth
was unwilling to stand by while he slid into a dark and dangerous place.
A week later, after another crappy day in the ER Robert went home a little
on the early side with a headache. He
kicked off his shoes, fed Gretel and went into the kitchen to make a cup of
tea.
As the fire engulfed his arm he saw his future go up in flames.
**************************
As Elizabeth leaned on the
railing and watched Robert walk away from her she tried her best to hold her
emotions in check. She could never
remember a time when he looked so small, so defeated. When he reached the corner he turned around
for a second to glance back at her. He
gave a half hearted wave before he disappeared.
When he was out of sight Elizabeth
turned to lean over the railing and allow the tears to start falling. She gave herself a few minutes before pulling
herself together and heading back to the hospital to check the OR
schedule. She could have done it in the
morning but she knew she wouldn't sleep if she went home.
Although Dr. Gunn was away on vacation things were going to move
quickly. Elizabeth
made arrangements with Dr. Klein to perform the procedure. He wanted to admit Robert to the hospital the
following night to get him started on some IV antibiotics and do the amputation
the morning after that. Elizabeth
was debating how Robert would feel about that when her cell phone rang. It was Kris, letting her know that Robert had
just turned up on her doorstep. Elizabeth
told Kris to tell Robert she would be there shortly and that she could head
home.
As she tucked the list of things Robert needed to do the following morning
in her coat pocket Elizabeth turned
out the light in her office and headed for the elevator.
When she got home she found Robert on the back deck sitting on the end of
the lounge chair in his pajamas and slippers.
He had an afghan tossed over his shoulders and a cup of tea on the table
next to him. It was clear he was
spending the night, something he hadn't done in over a week. Leaving the door open so she would be able to
hear Ella if she woke, Elizabeth
joined him. "Robert," she said
softly as she was unsure if he'd heard her come out. He looked over his shoulder at her but didn't
say anything. Elizabeth
joined him on the lounge chair. She
leaned forward and rubbed his back for a minute. Robert leaned into her touch and eventually
scooted back as Elizabeth stretched
out her legs. She pulled him back
against her chest, threw the blanket over the two of them and wrapped her arms
around him. She thought it was strange
the way they could go from snarking at each other, to being the best of
friends, to almost being more than that in the blink of an eye. "I made some phone calls. Gunn is on vacation. How do you feel about Klein?"
"He's good; I've seen some of his work. When can he do it?"
"Day after tomorrow," she said, not sure what his reaction to
that would be.
She felt Robert take a deep breath and exhale slowly as a million thoughts
ran through his head. "Fine, better
to get it over with."
"OK, I have a list of things he needs you to do before then. You'll have to be admitted tomorrow night so
he can get some antibiotics started."
Robert just nodded as he pulled his right hand out from under the afghan
and picked up his tea. "Is it ok to
give up?" he asked quietly.
"You're not giving up."
"An hour ago you thought I was," he said.
"I didn't think that. Your
decision took me by surprise, that's all.
I wasn't expecting it to happen this fast."
"You haven't seen my arm," he said miserably.
"No, I haven't."
"I'd like to keep it that way," he whispered.
"OK," replied Elizabeth. She realized that it was important to him to,
for lack of a better word; shelter her, from his latest accident. Letting her treat the first infection in his
arm had been a big step for him. One he
wouldn't have taken if she hadn't come into the room when he was trying to do
it himself. He respected her medical
opinion, even if he rarely admitted it, but he needed her more as a friend at
that moment.
Robert quietly met with Donald and Kerry early the next morning to let them
know he would need to take a medical leave.
Dr. Klein met with him over breakfast in the cafeteria to go over the
procedure. The Prosthetics department
didn't have a lot of time to see Robert on such short notice but they gave him
some literature and would be by to see him the day after the surgery. After having some blood work and a chest
x-ray done he made some calls to his insurance company, spent some time with
Gretel and took Dorothy out to an early dinner.
A little before 7 that night he quietly checked himself into the
hospital. Elizabeth
had offered to come with him but he declined the offer. He just wanted to settle in, start the course
of antibiotics and take a sleeping pill.
That is exactly what he did.
Elizabeth got to the hospital
very early the next morning. She went up
to check on Robert; half hoping he would still be asleep. She didn't know what to say or how to
act. The line between doctor and friend
was a hard one to toe. As was her luck lately Robert was awake when she got
there. And none too happy either. He was grumbling about the inept nurses on
the floor. "Good morning to you
too, Robert," said Elizabeth
with a grin from the doorway.
"Lizzie. You're here
early," he said, not sure if he was happy to see her or not.
"I'm covering the ER and I wanted to check on a few patients
first."
"And I was at the top of your list?" he asked bitterly.
"Yes. What happened to the
IV?" she asked as she motioned to his right hand which should have had an
IV port in it.
"It infiltrated and the idiot nurse couldn't find another vein. They can restart it in the OR," he
grumbled.
"The surgery still scheduled for 9?"
Robert nodded. He wanted her to be
there but was too stubborn to ask.
"Do you need anything before I get to work?" asked Elizabeth,
clearly beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable.
"No," he replied quietly.
Elizabeth turned to leave and
had her hand on the doorknob when she inhaled deeply, willed back her tears and
walked over to the bed. Much to both
their surprise she leaned over, cupped Robert's cheek and kissed him softly. She left before either one could say a
word.
**************************
After handing Dr. Klein the bone saw Elizabeth
just sat on the stool next to Robert's arm.
Her hands were idle for the moment, her assistance wasn't needed as the
bone saw clicked on and the noise filled the room, competing for space in her
consciousness with the sound of the ventilator, the cardiac monitor, and Dr.
Klein's endless chatter. She glanced
over her shoulder at Robert. Her eyes
drifted from his face to his bare chest crisscrossed with wires and tubes. His chest rose and fell with regularity and
she found herself willing her own breathing to slow down. She turned her gaze back to his arm. She hadn't seen the burns until she'd arrived
in the OR. She thought she had been
prepared to see them, but she wasn't and she was glad Robert wasn't conscious
and able to witness her reaction.
Willing back her tears and emotions she did the only thing that made any
sense to her at the time, she held his hand.
"Would you like the honors?" she heard Dr. Klein ask her as he
motioned towards Robert's elbow. The
thought appalled her but she just declined quietly. After the arm was free she gently picked it
up and deposited it in the waiting bag.
She walked around the gurney as Dr. Klein shaved down the bone and
prepared to suture the skin that covered what was left of Robert's arm. The resident was more than eager and able to
assist. With her foot, Shirley pushed an empty stool towards Elizabeth,
her sad expression more than evident from behind her surgical mask. Elizabeth
sat down next to Robert's head and pulled off her bloody gloves. She tossed them in the bin before taking off
her glasses. As the procedure wound down
she rested her hand on his bare shoulder and just watched his face.
"OK, we're done," announced Dr. Klein as he stood up and
stretched. Shirley was in the middle of
applying a pressure dressing as Elizabeth
stood up. "Are you going to
accompany him to Recovery?" she asked Elizabeth.
"Yes, I think I will," she said sadly as she pulled her mask off
and took another long look at Robert's face.
Twenty minutes later they were still in the OR. Things were backed up in the Recovery so
Elizabeth and Shirley just pushed the gurney to the side of the room and Elizabeth
was sitting next to him waiting for him to come around enough to remove the
tube from his throat. He was triggering
the vent but still hadn't opened his eyes.
"Robert, can you hear me," said Elizabeth
as she removed the sensor from his forehead and rubbed his shoulder. His eyelids fluttered a little and with great
effort he turned his head to face her.
He opened his eyes slightly and with his right hand reached towards the
ET tube. "Don't," she
whispered as she moved his hand away from his face. "Are you ready?" Robert gave an almost imperceptible nod of
his head. "OK, you know the drill, deep breath in and blow out." Robert did as he was told and Elizabeth
pulled the tube free. Shirley took the
tube from her and raised the head of Robert's bed a little as he sputtered and
coughed.
"You ok, Dr. Romano?" she asked as she reached to wipe his
mouth. He nodded a little and closed his
eyes again. Shirley placed the nasal
oxygen tubing over his ears and turned on the flow. Robert had knocked the sensor off his finger
when he reached for the tube in his throat and she replaced it with a small
laugh.
"What?" asked Elizabeth.
"When he came in I put the pulse ox sensor on his left hand out of
habit. I wasn't even thinking," explained
Shirley.
"Don't worry about it. He
probably won't even remember," said Elizabeth
with a little smile. The smile quickly
faded as she looked down and noticed blood oozing through the pressure bandage
on Robert's arm. "Damn," she muttered as she sat down on the stool
next to him. She pulled back Robert's
gown, exposing his shoulder. Shirley
grabbed two pairs of gloves and sat down to help unwrap the bandage. Elizabeth
used the silver nitrate sticks to stem the bleeding. All the while Robert muttered in a drug
induced fog, giving surgical orders and rambling on. Elizabeth
focused her attention on the task at hand, not emotionally equipped to deal
with his ramblings. She muttered a few
comments back until his one last remark floored her. He told her he loved her. She was stunned for a few seconds. "And you need to get some rest,"
she said with a nervous laugh. "I'll check on you later." She ordered a fresh pressure dressing and
left the room as quickly as she could.
She went to the surgical locker room, hoping it would be empty. No luck, there were two other surgeons in
there. She grabbed her scrub coat out of
her locker and headed towards the elevator with no particular destination in
mind. She wandered around for a while
until Shirley paged her to let her know they were moving Robert to a private
room.
He was still basically incoherent when Elizabeth
arrived at his side. "He's still
out of it, he told me he loved me," said Shirley with a chuckle as she
hung another bag of IV fluids. "Are
you off now?"
Elizabeth looked at her watch,
"Yes, as of ten minutes ago. I have
to make a phone call, check on Ella."
"I'll stay with him," offered Shirley as she sat down on the
chair next to the bed.
Elizabeth called home and made
arrangements for Kris to spend the night with Ella. Deep down Elizabeth
knew she'd be spending the night at the hospital. Shirley stuck her head out of Robert's room,
"He's asking for you."
Elizabeth hung up the phone at
the nurses' station and entered Robert's room.
His eyes were cracked open just enough for him to realize she was
there. "Lizzie," he said his
voice hoarse and barely audible.
"I'm here. Don't try to
talk," she said as she sat down on the chair next to the bed. "Here, drink a little" she said as
she poured him a cup of water and held the straw to his lips. He managed to get a few sips down before
collapsing back against the pillow.
"Damn ET tube," he croaked after he swallowed painfully.
Elizabeth nodded as she wiped
at a drop of water that had dripped down on his chin. "How are you feeling?"
"Like crap," he groaned as he struggled to sit up a little.
Elizabeth raised the head of the bed a bit more, "OK, telling me you
feel like crap isn't very helpful," she teased gently as she reached to
squeeze his right hand.
"Lightheaded, sick to my stomach and my throat hurts."
"And your arm?"
"What arm?" he asked bitterly, regretting it instantly.
"Robert," Elizabeth
said as she moved to sit down on the edge of the bed. She'd been walking a fine line between doctor
and friend all day. Playing the role of
the doctor had made some things easier during the day but now she just couldn't
ignore the pain in his eyes and the defeated look on his face. She adjusted the oxygen tubing and caressed
his cheek. "Klein left an order for Compazine, would you like a
shot?" she asked, ignoring his comment about his arm.
Robert nodded as he fidgeted a little trying to get comfortable. "It's starting to throb," he
admitted softly as Elizabeth got up
to go out to the nurses' station.
"OK, would you like me to see what he ordered for pain or are you
going to be stubborn about it?" she asked with a little smile.
"Get the good stuff," he said, faintly returning the smile.
Elizabeth returned with a can
of ginger ale, a shot of Compazine, something for pain and a blanket from the
warmer. She injected the Compazine into Robert's thigh, the pain meds in the IV
tubing and handed him the soda.
"Drink a little," she said as she sat down on the edge of the
bed. She leaned over a little to check
the pressure bandage. There was no sign
of active bleeding. Robert handed her
the can of soda and put the head of the bed back down. Elizabeth
carefully lifted up the stump and slid the warm blanket under it to prop it up
a little.
"Feels good," Robert muttered as the warmth from the blanket
seeped through the bandage. Elizabeth
folded the other half of the blanket up and over his arm.
"Get some sleep," she whispered as she leaned over and kissed his
forehead.
"You'll be here when I wake up?" Robert asked anxiously.
"I may not be right here but I'll be in the hospital. You can page me if I'm not here," said Elizabeth
as she moved the phone a little closer to him.
"Thank you Lizzie, for everything," Robert whispered as he closed
his eyes.
"You're welcome. Sleep."
*******************
Robert slept restlessly for a few hours under the watchful eye of Elizabeth. He started to stir uncomfortably a little
before 6 and Elizabeth moved to perch on the bed next to him. She put her hand on his chest and he calmed
instantly under her touch.
"Lizzie," he muttered without opening his eyes.
"It's me."
"What time is it?" he asked as he reached up to rub his eyes with
his right hand.
"It's about 6. Do you want to
sit up a little?" she asked. Robert
nodded a little and she reached for the control. "How are you feeling?"
"Better I think. But still a
little fuzzy."
"You look a little better, not quite so pale." she asked as she
pulled the blanket off of his shoulder and took a quick look at the
bandage. "No bleeding, that's
good. How's the pain?"
"Not bad, for now."
"Good." They turned their
attention towards the door as the dietary aide walked in with a dinner
tray. She set the tray on the table and
left quickly. "What is it?" he asked warily.
"Jell-O, broth and tea," she said, trying to sound upbeat. Robert just groaned. "You'll get a regular tray
tomorrow." she reminded him. Robert
just grumbled and pushed the food away.
"Robert," Elizabeth
said, slipping seamlessly back into doctor mode. "You need to eat something, your body
needs..."
"Lizzie, please, I've given that speech a million times," he said
wearily.
"I know," she said as she pushed the tray away from the bed. "How about I go to that new water ice
place around the corner?" she offered, hoping to get him to eat something.
"Sure. Lemon," replied
Robert without much enthusiasm.
"I'll be right back," she said as she patted his hand.
After Elizabeth left Dr. Klein
stopped by to check on Robert. He
unwrapped Robert's arm to take a quick look.
Robert declined the offer to take a peek. He wasn't ready and Dr. Klein didn't push the
issue. Everything seemed to be going
pretty well. The two discussed Robert's
rehab schedule and Dr. Klein said someone from the Prosthetics Department would
be by in the morning to drop off some more literature and answer any questions
Robert might have. Throughout the
conversation Robert was quiet and vaguely withdrawn, prompting Dr. Klein to
make a note to have someone come down from Psych to talk to Robert the next
day. Dr. Klein left Robert with an order to eat something, get some rest, get
out of bed soon and to not be stubborn about pain meds.
By the time Elizabeth returned
Robert was curled up on his side staring out the window. He made no effort to sit up even though he
heard her enter the room. Elizabeth
set the bag down on the tray table and took a seat next to him. She tentatively put her hand on his left
shoulder. He flinched, out of habit more
than pain. "I ran into Dr. Klein on
the way back. Things look good."
"That's what he said," muttered Robert as he rolled over onto his
back and sat up slowly.
"Would you like to get out of the bed for a while?"
"Uh, not particularly," he muttered as he glanced over the side
of the bed and gestured towards the foley bag.
"Oh. Sorry, I forgot about
that. If you're ready to get out of bed
we can take it out."
"We?" asked Robert with just the hint of a smirk.
"The nurse, Robert. We have bonded enough over the last few months,
thank you very much," said Elizabeth
with a grin on her face.
The nurse came in, removed the foley, checked the IV and disconnected the
oxygen. She nodded towards Elizabeth
in the hall as she left the room.
"OK, you ready to get up?"
asked Elizabeth as she came
back into the room.
"I think so. Did my bag make it
up here?"
Elizabeth found his bag,
grabbed his bathrobe and slippers and helped him into them. "Now, take it slow. Remember your center of gravity is off,"
she said as he slid towards the edge of the bed. Elizabeth
took him by the right hand and pulled him gently to his feet. "Just stand for a minute. Are you
ok?" she asked, taking in his pale complexion. Robert nodded and took a deep breath as Elizabeth
grabbed the IV stand. With her help he shuffled to the chair by the
window. While he got settled Elizabeth
grabbed the water ice and some napkins.
She handed him the cup with a spoon stuck in it. He eyed it warily and glanced towards Elizabeth
with a helpless look. She sighed and
shook her head, "I'm sorry," she said as she took out the spoon and
handed it to him. "We're sharing
anyway, I'll hold the cup," she said with an overly cheery smile.
Robert ate a little, not really enough for Elizabeth's
liking but she didn't say anything. He
was quiet and withdrawn, neither of which came as a surprise to Elizabeth. Her attempts at conversation, both
lighthearted and serious were met with an occasional one word answer and more
often than not, a mere shrug of the shoulders.
They watched in silence as the sun set over the Chicago
skyline and the stars came out. Just as Elizabeth
was starting to think he'd dozed off Robert began to shift uncomfortably in the
chair. She got up from her own chair and
knelt in front of him for a minute, right hand on his knee while she took a
glance at her watch. "Robert, do
you need something for pain?" she asked, pretty sure what his answer would
be.
"Not yet," he said as he shifted again. "Can you help me up?"
"Ready to get back in bed?"
"Not yet. Think I can take a
walk down the hall?"
"Klein wanted you out of bed, I'm sure he wouldn't object to a trip
down the hall," replied Elizabeth
with a smile. She stood and helped
Robert to his feet, letting him stand for a minute so he could get his
bearings. "Do you want me to
push?" she asked as she pointed towards the IV stand.
"I'll do it. Tuck that in for
me," he said motioning towards the sleeve of his bathrobe that was
flapping freely. Elizabeth
tucked it into his pocket.
"Ready?" she asked as she slipped her own shoes back on and ran
her hands through her hair. Robert
nodded and off they went. Elizabeth
walked on his left side, her hand gently resting on his back. They made it down
to the end of the hall and back before he gave in to his exhaustion. Elizabeth
got him back in bed and got him something to drink. He fidgeted and squirmed around trying to
get comfortable. Trying to give him some
space Elizabeth sat in the chair by
the window pretending to read a magazine.
After she heard him roll over and curse under his breath for the fourth
or fifth time she tossed her reading material aside and walked over to the
bed. "What's wrong? Anything I can help with?" she asked as
she sat down on the edge of the bed.
"can't get comfortable," he said as his face contorted into a
grimace.
"You can have more Vicodin," she said, glancing at her
watch.
Robert adjusted the head of the bed a little more, trying to find a
comfortable position. The pain was
starting return but it was the overall stiffness that was preventing him from
settling down. He thought the walk would
take care of that. And it did help with the restless feeling in his legs but
did nothing for his left shoulder.
"It's not even the pain right now.
My shoulder's just stiff."
Elizabeth nodded and motioned
for him to roll over on his side, facing away from her. She gently put one hand on his shoulder and
the other around what remained of his arm.
"Let me know if I'm hurting you," she said as she carefully
stretched out his shoulder. It was
uncomfortable at first but as she loosened up some of the muscles Robert
started to relax a bit. When she was
done she rolled him onto his back, put a pillow under the stump and got him
some Vicodin.
With the pain meds he was able to get to sleep fairly quickly. Taking the opportunity to get a good look at
him Elizabeth remained on the edge
of the bed. What struck her the most
wasn't the sheer fact that he had only one arm. It was the fact that lying there
on the hospital bed he looked so small and lost. Now it was true that Robert wasn't a big man
by any stretch of the imagination. But
curled up on the bed under the blankets he looked almost like a little
kid. A frightened little kid. The crisp white sheets washed out his already
pale complexion causing his freckles to stand out in stark contrast. Elizabeth
reached out and ran her hand over his head.
He felt a little warm to her but she didn't bother looking for the
thermometer. It was only a matter of
time before the nurse would arrive to check his vitals.
A little after 9:30 the nurse
came in to check on things. She took Robert's vitals, sharing the readings with
Elizabeth. He was doing fairly well all things
considered. The only thing that was a
little worrisome was the fact that his temperature was hovering just a little
over 100. The risk of infection was very
great due to the burns and the initial infection that hadn't completely healed. But he was on IV antibiotics and they could
be adjusted as the need arose.
********************
As expected Robert slept well for about 5 hours, waking up a little after 3
stiff and uncomfortable.
"Lizzie," he called in the direction of the recliner where she
was getting some much needed sleep herself. "Lizzie."
"Robert," she muttered trying to clear the cobwebs from her
brain. "Are you ok?" she asked
as she struggled to adjust the recliner so she could get up.
"I need to, you know," he muttered as he pointed in the direction
of the bathroom. With Elizabeth's
help he got to the bathroom without great difficulty. As he washed his hand he glanced down at the
sink and the sight of only one hand was more than he could handle. He lifted his gaze towards the mirror, the
sight of his own reflection wasn't much better.
He looked back down at the sink watching the water run over his
hand. Flicking off the water with more
force than needed he struggled to gain his composure before he completely lost
it. For the better part of a year he'd
been used to only having one functioning arm.
But he was still used to looking down and seeing his left arm, whether
it was in the sling, hanging loosely or tucked into his lab coat pocket, it was
still there.
And now it wasn't.
As she heard his first choking gasp Elizabeth
slipped into the bathroom. Robert was
still standing in front of the sink, eyes down, not focusing on anything in
particular. He made a half hearted attempt to wipe his eyes as Elizabeth
reached out and put her hands on his shoulders.
She pulled him back against her chest and reached around to tip up his
chin so their eyes met in the mirror.
"What can I do?" she whispered.
"I want to see it," he said as calmly as he could.
"Robert, it's the middle of the night.
Why don't you get back in bed? You can..."
"Elizabeth," he said
sharply. The use of her full name struck
a chord with her.
"OK," she agreed.
"Sit down," she said as she closed the lid on the toilet and
steered him towards it.
She attempted to roll up the sleeve on his gown but that wasn't
working. "Uh, Robert," she
said sort of gesturing towards his lap.
"Yes, I'm wearing boxers," he said with half a grin.
"Good," she said with a nervous laugh. She untied the gown and pulled it off. Carefully she unwrapped the pressure
bandage. The stump looked pretty good,
no bleeding. "OK." Elizabeth
stood up and took a step back, giving Robert a little space. "I'm going to have to wrap that when
you're done. I'll be right back,"
she said as she left the room to get some supplies. Robert took a deep breath, stood up and
looked in the mirror. He tried to look
at it through a surgeon’s eye. Through
those eyes it looked pretty good. No
bleeding, minimally swelling. He tried
to lift his shoulder a little to look at it from another angle but found it too
stiff and painful. Banging his fist
against the door he gave up his attempt to keep his emotions inside as Elizabeth
entered the room. She took him by the
shoulders and turned him around, taking him into her arms. He let everything out as she rubbed his back
and whispered to him. She felt him take
a halting breath as his whole body stiffened up. In one swift motion she lifted
the lid to the toilet, turned him around in her arms and managed to keep him
from taking a header into the edge of the sink as he knelt before the toilet to
get sick. Having eaten nothing solid to
speak of in over 24 hours Robert was reduced to dry heaving pretty quickly. Elizabeth
held his head with one hand and wet a wash cloth with the other to put on the
back of his neck.
Twenty minutes later just as Elizabeth was about to hit the red button on
the wall to get some backup Robert finally picked up his head and reached for
the cup of water on the edge of the sink.
He rinsed his mouth and let Elizabeth
help him to his feet. She got him
settled on the bed, rewrapped his arm and helped him into a t-shirt and pajama
pants. "Do you want the bed up or
down?" she asked as she picked up the controller.
"Up a little, so it doesn't throb as much," he said weakly. Elizabeth
raised the head of the bed a little and turned out the little light over his
head.
"I'm going to get you something for pain. Do you need anything else? Sleeping pill?" she asked as she turned
off the overhead light.
"A blanket from the warmer."
When Elizabeth came back a
minute later Robert was squirming around trying to get comfortable. She gently
wrapped his arm and shoulder in one warm blanket and spread the other one over
him. "Better?" she asked as she ran her hand over his cheek. Robert nodded a little and scooted over a bit
to give Elizabeth room to sit down
on the bed. "Just a minute. I want to check your temperature, you feel
very warm." A quick check with the
ear thermometer gave her a reading of 100.4.
After another trip to the nurse’s station for some Ibuprofen Elizabeth
wearily kicked off her slippers and sat down on the recliner. Robert rolled over a little to face her and
held out his hand in a silent request. Elizabeth
hesitated a little, it had been nearly 3 weeks since they'd shared a bed and
she didn't know if she felt comfortable with the idea. She didn't want him too feel like she pitied
him, even thought deep down on some level she did. She was also worried about hurting him if she
rolled over or reached out in her sleep.
But at almost 4 in the morning and a full day of surgery on the schedule
starting at 9 she agreed. She set the
alarm on her watch and crawled into the bed.
Robert had rolled onto his right side and she curled up against his
back, her left arm around his waist. It
was a strange sensation, not having his left hand to hold as she drifted
off.
The sound of voices and the bright morning sun woke Elizabeth
about 10 minutes before the alarm was set to go off. It was time for the shift change and the
sound of the nurses talking in the hallway drifted in the room. Robert was curled up in the fetal position
sound asleep next to her. She crept out
of the bed, trying her best not to disturb him.
She was just coming out of the bathroom when the nurse came in to check
his vitals. "How high?" asked Elizabeth
as the nurse took a glance at the thermometer.
"Just 100, hopefully we can keep it down. How did he sleep?"
"Fell asleep about 10, he was up from 3 to 4 and he's been out ever
since. A little restless but not too
bad," replied Elizabeth as she
ran her fingers through her hair and found her shoes. "I need to go take a shower. Can you ask Dr. Klein to page me after he's
had a chance to examine Dr. Romano?"
"Certainly Dr. Corday. Would
you like me to page you when he wakes?"
"No, that's ok. I'll be in
surgery. I'll check in on him when I
have a free minute."
Elizabeth showered quickly and
met Ella and Kris in the cafeteria for a quick breakfast. She took Ella to daycare and headed to the
4th floor. It was nearly noon by the time she made it back to check on
Robert. He was down in the physical
therapy room when arrived so she went to grab something for lunch. Robert was picking at his own lunch when she
returned.
"Nothing good?" she asked with a laugh as she leaned against the
door jamb.
"Well, it's better than that," he said motioning towards the
container of yogurt in her hand. "In between surgeries?" he asked as
he stabbed his fork into the bowl of macaroni and cheese in front of him.
Elizabeth pulled up a chair as
she nodded. "How was PT?" she
asked as she propped her feet up on the edge of the bed and ate her own lunch.
"Painful," he muttered, summing up the whole experience in one
word. He was clearly not in the mood to
elaborate and Elizabeth didn't push
him.
"Did you talk to Prosthetics yet? How's your temp? Has Klein been in
today?"
"Lizzie, please, enough with the 20 questions," said Robert
wearily. It hit Elizabeth
that what he needed most at the moment was a friend, not another medical
professional.
"Sorry," she said as she put aside the empty yogurt cup and
pushed aside Robert's half eaten lunch tray.
She didn't comment on the minimal amount of food he'd eaten, nor did she
comment on the fact he was in obvious pain.
She just sat on the bed next to him and kissed his cheek, not even
commenting on the fact that he was very warm.
Robert fidgeted for a few minutes before getting up and using the
bathroom. Elizabeth
stayed where she was, he didn't ask for any help and she didn't offer any. She just sat cross legged near the head of
the bed and thumbed through the magazine.
When Robert came back out he grabbed a pillow and curled up with his
head in her lap. With a gentle touch Elizabeth
stretched out his shoulder and rubbed his back.
Keeping one eye on the clock so she wouldn't be late for her next
surgery she kept him company.
Which is what he really wanted at the moment.
With one last glance at her watch she patted Robert's shoulder and slid off
the bed. "I'll be back before I
head home. Get some rest," she said
as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.
"Is Ella in daycare today?"
"Yes. Would you like me to
bring her by later? How about we come up
for dinner?" Elizabeth
offered, happy to see his eyes light up from her suggestion.
"Sounds good," he said his face falling quickly, "But are
you sure she won't be scared of the one armed freak," he asked.
"I've tried to explain things.
But she's only two. She misses
you. I'm sure she'll be fine. If she's not, we won't stay."
"OK."
********************
After Elizabeth headed back to
work Robert drifted off watching television.
He awoke a little while later to a metal on metal tapping sound. Cracking his eyes open he saw Dorothy sitting
in the chair next to the bed, knitting needles moving at warp speed. "Hi," he muttered weakly.
"You're awake," she said as she put aside her knitting and
scooted the chair closer. "How are
you feeling?"
"How do I look?" he asked with a smirk as he raised the head of
the bed a little.
"Like crap, Robbie," she said with a smile as she sat down on the
bed next to him and squeezed his hand.
"Then I feel as lousy as I look," he sighed realizing he felt a
lot worse than when he'd fallen asleep.
"You're warm," she pointed out as she pressed the back on her
hand against his cheek.
"I'm sure the nurse will be here any minute to check on me," he
said bitterly.
Dorothy tried her best to get him to talk---about anything but he was
shutting down. She'd seen it before and
knew he was heading for trouble.
"Well, I have to get going.
There's some Gatorade and some vanilla pudding in there," she said
as she pointed at the shopping bag she had tossed on the end of the bed.
"Thanks," he said with a weary smile, "Sorry I'm not better
company."
"It's ok Robbie. Get some
rest. I'll stop by tomorrow. Call me if you need anything," she said as
she picked up her knitting and put it in her tote bag. She straightened Robert's blanket and kissed
his forehead, much to his amusement.
"I will," promised Robert, "And don't call me that," he
called as she closed the door. Robert
drank some Gatorade and made an attempt to eat some pudding but his appetite
was almost nonexistent. The nurse came
in, declared that his fever had indeed hit 101 and went to call Dr. Klein. Someone from the Prosthetics department
stopped by to talk to Robert. He wasn't
in any shape to even think about the decisions he would have to face in the
coming weeks regarding a prosthetic device.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth's
surgeries went well and after she checked on her patients in Recovery she
headed for the daycare to pick up Ella.
A quick trip to the cafeteria for chicken fingers for Ella and a salad
for Elizabeth and they were on
their way to Robert's room. As Elizabeth
came off the elevator she noticed a Resident from the Psych department on his
way out of Robert's room. "He's going to be in a great mood," she
muttered to herself as she plastered on a smile.
As expected Robert was a little withdrawn and quiet. He picked at his dinner while Ella all but
inhaled her own meal. When she was done
she climbed up on the bed next to Robert.
He pushed away his own meal as she finally took notice that his left arm
was missing. She reached out to touch
his shoulder. "Ella, don't,"
said Elizabeth as she stood up to
take her daughter off the bed.
"Lizzie, she's fine," he said, waving her away. "Can you go get me a bottle of iced
tea?" He wasn't all that thirsty
and she knew it. But she also knew he
and Ella needed some time alone. So she
headed out of the room after raising the side of the bed so there was less
danger of Ella tumbling out.
"Arm," said Ella as she tentatively touched his shoulder,
"Gone."
"Yes, it's gone," said Robert sadly.
"Hurt?" she asked curiously.
"Yeah, it hurts like a son....yeah, it hurts."
Ella kissed his cheek and curled up with her blond head resting on his left
shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable
position for Robert but he didn't move her.
He clicked on the television to Nickelodeon. They watched Rugrats and
just enjoyed spending time together.
Meanwhile Elizabeth got
Robert a bottle of tea and she took her time returning.
A little after 8 Elizabeth and Ella headed home. She was off the following day and promised to
come by before he went to PT. Dorothy
had volunteered to watch Ella so Elizabeth
could spend time with Robert.
As expected Robert had a rough night.
His fever spiked up to 102 and he was just plain miserable. Dr. Klein stopped by just after dawn the next
morning, ordered some blood work, changed the antibiotic order and told him to
take it easy for a while. Robert was
almost back to sleep when he heard the door open again. "Lizzie?" he asked, without opening
his eyes.
"No, Dr. Romano, it's Shirley."
Robert opened his eyes and tried to smile a little. "Come in," he said as he put the
bed up a little. "Come to check up
on me?" he asked, without a hint of hostility.
"I came to see how you're feeling.
I heard you had a rough night," she said as she leaned on the back
of the chair.
"You heard right. Do you have a
few minutes?" asked Robert. He'd
had a few things on his mind ever since waking up from the anesthesia and
wanted to get some answers.
"Sure," replied Shirley as she sat down in the chair.
"I just have a couple of questions.
When I was in surgery was Lizzie, was Dr. Corday there?"
"She came in about halfway through.
She assisted for a little while and then she just watched."
"Watched?"
"Well, she sat next to your arm and....and," Shirley looked up to
meet his eyes. It was clear he really
wanted to know what happened in the OR.
"And what?"
"She held your hand. Dr. Klein asked if she wanted to use the
saw. She declined. I think she was repulsed by the idea. Dr. Klein finished sawing the bone and Dr.
Corday...." Shirley stopped short and wiped her eyes.
"She put the arm in the bag," Robert guessed. Shirley nodded.
"And when I was in Recovery?"
"You never actually made it to the Recovery Room. They were backed up so we kept you in the
OR. Dr. Corday was there when you woke
up. She pulled the ET tube and took care
of the bleeder. You were pretty out of
it but you did keep up your end of the conversation. Actually you didn't make much sense but you
were very chatty," said Shirley with a laugh.
"I didn't embarrass myself did I?"
"Well, you told us you loved us.
But that's about as bad as it got," admitted Shirley with a laugh.
Robert looked a little shocked and was very quiet.
"Dr. Romano, you were under the influence of some heavy duty
drugs. Don't worry about it,"
Shirley said, trying to reassure him a little.
She glanced at her watch and sighed.
"I have to get to work. Do
you need anything before I go?"
"Can you fill the water pitcher?"
"Certainly."
Shirley left the room just as Elizabeth
was getting off the elevator. They
didn't have a chance to talk as Shirley had just been paged. Having not talked to Robert or Dr. Klein that
morning Elizabeth didn't know how
bad the night had been. But one look at
him from the doorway and she had a pretty good idea. He had the head of the bed almost all the way
up, his knees pulled up, right arm draped over his legs. With a slight glance in her direction he
acknowledged her presence. Tears that
were welling up in his eyes began to spill down his cheeks. "Oh Robert," sighed Elizabeth
as she sat down in front of him and put her hand on his knee. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to
his forehead, startled at how warm he was. Figuring he was well aware of the
fever she didn't say anything about it.
"Did something happen when Shirley was in here?" Robert nodded. "Would you like to talk about it?"
she asked as she tipped his chin up to look him in the eye.
"She just told me some things that happened in the OR. I know you held my hand and declined to
chance to use the saw." Elizabeth
nodded for him to continue. "She
told me I muttered I was in love with both of you," he said with half a
smile. Returning the smile she wiped a
few of his tears away. "I don't
remember anything after getting to the OR up until I woke up in here with
you."
"That's normal, you know that," said Elizabeth
gently. "I'm glad I could be there
for you. Even if you don't remember
it."
"You held my hand," Robert repeated, as if he couldn't believe.
"Yes, I held your hand. To be
honest, I didn’t know what to do and that seemed like the right thing to do at
that moment."
"Thank you," whispered Robert as he collapsed back against the
pillow and closed his eyes.
"You're more than welcome Robert," she whispered back before
shifting seamlessly back into doctor-mode. "Now, you're running quiet a
fever. Did Dr. Klein stop by?"
"Yeah. He had some blood drawn,
messed with the antibiotic order and told me to take it easy today. It hit 102 sometime overnight, if you're
curious."
"Does he have any ideas about what could be going on?"
"Could be from the initial infection, the burns, a virus I picked up
from the germ infested ER."
"Well, you're running very warm at the moment," she remarked as
she ran her hand over his head.
"Why don't you let me help you into some clean, dry pajamas? I'll change the sheets and see about getting
you something better to eat," suggested Elizabeth
as she pointed in the direction of the untouched breakfast tray. "Have you eaten anything?"
"Today?"
"Today, yesterday, the day before....anytime recently?" smirked Elizabeth.
"Not really. Some pudding and a
little macaroni and cheese."
"Have you kept anything down?" asked Elizabeth,
trying to find out if the problem was lack of appetite or the inability to keep
anything down. She was leaning towards a
little of both.
"The lemon water ice, that was about it," admitted Robert as he
sat up and swung his feet over the side.
"I'm going to go clean up a little.
Can you grab some clothes out of my bag?
And unhook this for a minute?" he asked as he shook the IV
line."
Elizabeth released him from the
IV and handed him a clean pair of pajama pants and a fresh t-shirt. "Do you need help?"
"I honestly have no idea," he said with a weary smile. "I'll yell if I need
anything." Robert managed to wash
his face, brush his teeth and put on his pants.
He ran into a little trouble maneuvering the shirt over his head and the
stump into the sleeve. "OK, yeah I
need a little help," he muttered as he came out of the bathroom.
"OT should be by tomorrow.
They'll help you start to regain some of your independence," she
said as she helped him and steered him towards the chair. She hooked him back up to the IV and finished
making up the bed. Robert bit back the
sarcastic "Thank you DR. Corday," that threatened to escape his lips.
"Well, I don't think the water ice place is open at 8 AM," said Elizabeth
as she glanced at her watch. "So
what would you like from the cafeteria?"
Robert just made a face at her suggestion.
"You're trying to kill me. What
are you going to suggest next? Something
from Doc Magoo's?" he muttered.
"Oh, you haven't heard. Doc
Magoo's burned down."
"Great, well that should cut down on some of the food poisoning cases
in the ER," joked Robert.
"Dorothy brought some pudding, it's in the drawer. Let me try some of that."
As Robert predicted he had trouble getting much of the pudding down. He managed a few bites before his stomach
protested. Elizabeth
didn't push things. Unfortunately, the
little bit of pudding didn't stay down very long. By the time Elizabeth
cleaned Robert up and got him settled back down Dr. Klein came by to check on
him. He shared the results of Robert's
blood work and his plan for a different course of antibiotics. He wrote an order for Kytril to help control
the nausea and vomiting as both seemed to be getting steadily worse as time
wore on.
**********************
Storm clouds gathered over the lake signaling the impending arrival of a
spring storm. Elizabeth pulled the chair
up to the window to watch as Robert dozed on the bed. After a particularly loud crash of thunder
reverberated through the room she turned around to check on Robert. Despite the noise he was sound asleep, curled
up on his right side. Sighing wearily she got up to check on him. The
timed-honored kiss to the forehead told her his temperature hadn't fallen much
in spite of the large dose of Ibuprofen he'd taken. With a gentle touch she wiped his face with a
cool, damp cloth before placing it on his forehead. Figuring he would be out for the foreseeable
future she snuck down to her office to grab some paperwork to occupy her time.
An enormous crack of lightening pulled Robert out of a dreamless
sleep. The storm darkened sky left him
completely disoriented as he struggled to sit up. Deciding that sitting up was going to take
too much energy he just collapsed back against the slightly damp pillow. He
looked around and determined that he was alone in the room. He figured Elizabeth had just stepped out for
a few minutes. The sound of thunder and
the flash of lightning were just adding to the pounding of his head and the
vaguely nauseous feeling in his stomach.
Elizabeth found him curled up in a ball when she returned a few minutes
later. "Hey, you're awake. You could have paged me," she said as
she put her paperwork down and sat on the edge of the bed. She picked up the damp cloth that had fallen
onto the pillow and wiped his face again.
"I guess I don't have to ask if you feel any better?" she
asked as she took note of his pale complexion and glassy eyes. He just shook his head the slightest
bit. "Pick up your head," she
said as she reached to turn the pillow over.
He sighed as his head fell back on the cool, dry cotton.
"When did it start raining?"
"About an hour ago. You slept
through the worst of it. It looks like
it's slowing down a little. I'll swim
over to the water ice place when it stops," teased Elizabeth as she pulled
the blanket back and took a peek at the bandage. "Looks good. How's it feel?"
"Hurts," he admitted.
"You're due for Vicodin. And
here it is now," said Elizabeth as the nurse came in the room. She took a step back to allow the nurse to
check his vitals.
"101.8," declared the nurse as she caught Elizabeth's eye. "Pressure's a little low too," she
added as she stuck the pulse ox sensor on his finger to check the level. "94," she announced as she looked
at Robert before reaching for the nasal prongs.
He nodded his head and let her place the tubing over his ears. "Is there anything else you need Dr.
Romano?" she asked as she jotted down a few notes.
"No, I'm fine, thank you," whispered Robert in an
uncharacteristically sweet voice. The
nurse gave a smile to both of them and headed out to see her next patient. Robert took the Vicodin with a little ginger
ale and settled back down on the pillow.
"Now I know you don't feel well.
You were actually pleasant to the nurse," teased Elizabeth. Robert just gave a little smirk in her
direction. "Robert, you look
absolutely miserable. What can I do for
you?" asked Elizabeth feeling quite helpless at the moment.
"Just sit with me until I fall back to sleep," he said, his voice
hoarse and weak. He was honestly unsure
what he needed or wanted. All he knew
was he didn't want to be alone.
"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him as she pulled the sheet
up over his chest and propped up his left shoulder on a folded blanket. The pain killers knocked him out about ten
minutes later much to Elizabeth's relief; the thing he needed most at the
moment was rest.
Elizabeth sat by the window and threw herself into the pile of long overdue
paperwork for the next hour or so.
Anything to take her mind off of Robert.
Unfortunately it was hard to forget he was right behind her. His sleep was anything but peaceful; he
moaned and rolled around every few minutes.
She got up a couple of times and checked on him, pulling the sheet back
up over him, adjusting the oxygen and generally fussing over him. After putting the cool cloth back on his
forehead for the third tie she heard someone knocking lightly. Abby stuck her head in and gave a little
wave. "I can come back," she
said when she realized Robert was asleep.
"No, please come in. I could
use some company," said Elizabeth as she waved her in. She motioned towards the two chairs by the
window. The two women settled down and
sat silently for a few minutes.
"Are you on a break?" asked Elizabeth.
"No, I was on last night. It was busy so I stayed for a few
hours. I just figured I would stop by before
I went home. We haven't gotten any
information downstairs. And I'm sure he
wants it that way. But I wanted to check
on him anyway. Maybe I shouldn't
have..." she started, suddenly feeling like she shouldn't have come up to
Robert's room.
"Abby, it's fine. Yes, he's
trying to keep things quiet but I think he'd be grateful you stopped by,"
said Elizabeth, trying to reassure her.
"How is he?" asked Abby, not wanting to pry but genuinely
concerned.
"Could be better. Temp's up to
around 102. We're waiting on some
cultures. Not sure where the infection
is coming from. Could be the burns, the
first infection, we just don't know. He's in a fair amount of pain, more than
he lets on, I'm sure. The stump looks
pretty good. Hasn't had much luck keeping
anything down. So all in all, he's
rather miserable."
"How about emotionally?" Abby asked tentatively, quickly adding,
"Not that it's any of my business."
"Don't be silly. You've been
pretty understanding lately. More so
than a lot of other people. He
appreciates you checking up on him, even if he never admits it. Dr. Klein sent a Psych resident down to talk
to him. I didn't even bother asking how
that went. Anyway, he's been very
quiet," said Elizabeth as she looked over her shoulder at his sleeping
form. "Doesn't show much interest
in starting therapy, getting his life back. The only smile I've seen was when I
brought Ella up to visit."
Abby chuckled a little, "It's hard to imagine him bonding with a
child."
"It's amazing actually, he's like a different person," said
Elizabeth as she got up to check on Robert. He'd been moaning and moving around
more in the last half hour or so. His
moaning had just given way to talking in his sleep and she went to sit with
him. As after the surgery he was calling
out surgical orders unaware of his surroundings. Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the bed and
put her hand on his shoulder, hoping to wake him, or at least calm him a
little. "Robert," she said
softly but firmly as she leaned down towards his left ear.
"Watch the bleeder...don't contaminate the field...what's his
pressure?" Robert rambled as
Elizabeth tried her best to wake him without startling him. Abby had gotten up from her chair and went to
stand on the other side of the bed. She
couldn't believe how pale and small Robert looked there on the bed. Unsure of
what to do she just stood by in case her help was needed. Elizabeth put her
hand on Robert's forehead. "Abby,
can you get a temp?"
"Sure," she replied. Abby
went out to find the thermometer, coming back a few minutes later. She gently
stuck the probe in Robert's ear.
"102.3," she announced.
"Damn, it's still rising," muttered Elizabeth as she looked down
at his face. He'd calmed down a little,
the muttering had stopped. "Robert,
can you hear me?" she asked as she gently turned his face towards hers.
"Lizzie," he croaked through chapped, dry lips.
"Yes, it's me."
"Water," he muttered. Elizabeth
caught Abby's eye over the bed and motioned for her to refill the water
pitcher. Robert's gaze followed Elizabeth's
and he gave a weary smile in Abby's direction.
"Abby," he mouthed, no sound actually coming out.
"Hi," replied Abby with a little wave in his direction as she
headed for the bathroom.
"Did Kerry...send her up to...check on me?" he asked his voice
ragged and faint.
"No," replied Elizabeth
firmly, “She came because she was worried about you. She cares Robert, you know
that." Robert nodded in
agreement.
Abby came out of the bathroom and poured a cup of water for Robert. She held the straw to his lips while he took
a few tentative sips. As nice as the
cool water felt he didn't want to press his luck and drink too much. "What time is it?" he asked as he
collapsed back against the pillow.
"Almost noon." answered Abby.
"I was going to go get something for lunch. Can I get you anything Dr. Romano? I'm sure you're not looking forward to
hospital food for lunch. How about a
milkshake, a water ice, ice cream?"
Elizabeth gave her a grateful
smile as the nurse tried her best to get him interested in eating something.
"Water ice. Lemon," Robert
whispered.
"No problem. Dr. Corday, would
you like anything?"
"As long as you're going to get water ice I'll have watermelon."
"Lizzie you need to eat lunch too," teased Robert managing to get
enough energy to speak in a complete sentence.
"Fine, bring me an egg salad sandwich," said Elizabeth
as she tried to glare at him.
"OK, I'll be back in a while," said Abby with a smile. She turned to look back towards the two of
them as she headed out the door. Elizabeth
had leaned over to press a kiss to Robert's forehead and he was reaching for
her hand. Abby smiled to herself and
closed the door.
"Before you ask, I don't feel any better," grumbled Robert.
"Your temp's over 102. I don't
imagine you do."
"Can you flip the pillow over?" he asked as he tried to lift his
head up. Elizabeth
gently cradled his head in her one hand and turned the pillow over with the
other.
"How about a dry shirt?" she asked, realizing the one he was
wearing was slightly damp. He nodded a
little. She grabbed a shirt out of his
bag, noting that he was his last clean one.
Elizabeth helped Robert sit
up and she pulled off his shirt.
"Would you like me to see if I can wash that off?" she asked
as she pointed to the remaining writing on his right arm.
"Sure," he said with a laugh. Elizabeth
was able to remove the marker with some soap and warm water. "Your razor is in the bag. Do you want to shave?"
"Nah," muttered Robert as he ran his hand over his chin.
"I kind of like it actually," admitted Elizabeth
as she ran her own hand over the red and gray stubble that covered his
cheek. The gesture wasn't anything out
of the ordinary for them but there was something more intimate about it. A sigh escaped Robert's lips and for the
first time that day he gave a weak but genuine smile. Elizabeth
returned the smile and reached for the damp cloth. It wasn't cool so she went to the bathroom to
rewet it. She gently wiped his face and
neck trying to make him a little more comfortable. By the time she helped him into the dry shirt
the nurse came in for a vital check. Elizabeth
excused herself for a few minutes when Robert realized he didn't have the
energy to get up out of bed and use the bathroom. They'd bonded enough she didn't need to add
bedpan to the list of things she had helped him with recently. She took the opportunity to grab a cup of coffee
and stretch her legs a little.
"102.1. In case you're curious," muttered Robert as Elizabeth
came back into the room.
"Concerned is the correct term Robert, not curious," replied
Elizabeth, only half joking.
"Whatever," mumbled Robert.
Elizabeth took a deep breath
and sat down on the window sill.
"Robert, what the hell just happened? Ten minutes ago you were relatively calm and
pleasant, considering the circumstances.
The nurse came in and now you're...you're...."
"Back to normal?" he spit out, quickly realizing he had right or
reason to be nasty with her.
Elizabeth cracked a smile and
moved to sit next to him. "You're frustrated, I know. But don't push me away, please,” Robert
apologized. Abby returned 10 minutes later with lunch. Robert managed to finish most of the water
ice and more importantly he kept it down for longer than half an hour.
Robert slept for a good part of the afternoon and managed to sit up in the
chair for a little while before dinner.
Dorothy brought Ella by so the four of them could eat together. Robert's face lit up for the first time that
day when Ella came bounding into the room.
After dinner Robert and Ella watched cartoons while Dorothy knitted and Elizabeth
went to check the surgical schedule for the following day. She had a busy day with 3 surgeries and 2
meetings. The thought of rescheduling
some things or trading with another surgeon crossed her mind but she needed to
throw herself into her work, to get her mind off of Robert. She would still be able to check on him
during the day.
A little after 8 Elizabeth and Ella headed for home. Dorothy stuck around for a while keeping
Robert company until he was out for the night.
She fussed with the blankets for a while and put away the extra clothes
she'd brought for him. When she was sure
he was sound asleep she kissed his cheek and left.
************************
By noon the next day they managed
to hit upon the right combination of antibiotics and Robert's temperature began
to fall. By dinnertime it was hovering
around 100 and he was starting to get restless.
Elizabeth had just gone home
to give Ella dinner and was going to come back for a little while after she put
Ella to bed.
As Elizabeth was getting ready
to leave her house Robert called with a request for a cheeseburger and a
milkshake. She was only too happy to
fulfill his request. When she got to the
hospital Robert was arguing with the Dr. Klein about pain medication. He wanted to stop the Vicodin and just take
Ibuprofen. Quickly realizing he was
fighting a losing battle Klein relented when Robert agreed to take the Vicodin
at night. Elizabeth
just stood in the doorway and shook her head.
"He's all yours," teased Dr. Klein as he left the room.
Robert gave her a sheepish grin and reached for the bag of food. She didn't offer to help and he managed to
get everything opened by himself, even if it took a little longer than
usual. He ate everything plus some
pudding Dorothy had brought him. Elizabeth
sat there amazed that the man in front of her was the same one who had done
nothing but sleep the previous day.
And so the next few days went relatively smoothly. The IV was disconnected when Robert proved he
could keep enough food down and the antibiotic order was adjusted to let him
take everything orally. He managed to
keep his sats up and the oxygen tank was removed from the room. Much to Elizabeth's
surprise he threw himself into PT and OT.
After another few nights in the hospital he was antsy to get out. His temperature had been normal for 2 days
and he was starting to drive every nurse on the floor screaming in the other
direction. Even Dr. Klein had taken to
only stopping by once a day. There were
only a few people who could come into the room safely, Elizabeth,
Ella, Dorothy and Abby.
It had been almost a week since the surgery and Elizabeth
had been very busy for a few days. She
was looking forward to a day off. She
took Ella out to breakfast and then to the park. They picked up sandwiches for lunch and went
to have lunch with Robert. He was in
rare form; completely back to his old snarky self. The nurses were beginning to draw straws when
it came to deciding who was going to go in and check his vitals. Nobody wanted
to cross the threshold into his room.
But his disposition changed completely in Ella's presence to the
amusement of the nursing staff and Dr. Klein who stopped by on his lunch break.
A little wheeling and dealing later Dr. Klein agreed to discharge Robert
the following morning on the condition that he not go home alone. Dorothy was about to go on vacation for a few
days so Elizabeth said she would come stay with him as she had arranged to take
some time off. She was sure that wasn't
the wisest decision she'd ever made but she made it without hesitation. Robert was both pleased and nervous. He didn't know how much help he was going to
need and didn't want to feel pitied by Elizabeth. But he was also looking forward to spending
some time with her without being under the eye of the hospital staff. Their relationship, such as it was, was
stalled at slightly more than friends.
And at the moment that was working for them. A week after life altering surgery wasn't
exactly the right time to be making more life altering decisions.
On the morning of Robert's discharge Elizabeth packed up his things while
he met with Dr. Klein and someone from the PT department to set up his therapy
schedule. It was only a little after
noon when they got to Robert's place but he was exhausted. Against his rather feeble protests Elizabeth
tucked him into bed and drew the curtains closed. He fought his exhaustion for all of 20
minutes and ended up sleeping for almost 3 hours. By the time he woke up Elizabeth had just put
Ella down for a nap. She was rummaging
through the refrigerator trying to decide what to make for dinner.
"Ella sleeping?" asked Robert as he sat down at the island. Out of habit he reached to prop his left arm
up on the counter. The action did not
slip by Elizabeth but she wisely decided not to say anything.
"She just fell asleep. Are you
hungry? I could make you
something," Elizabeth offered as she set a package of chicken out on the
counter.
"I'm not hungry. I'll just make
some tea," he replied as he slid from the stool and grabbed the tea pot
off of the stove. As he set it back on
the burner he had a flashback to the last time he made tea. He stood frozen with his hand on the knob,
unable to turn it on. Elizabeth came up
next to him and gave his right hand a quick squeeze as she removed it from the
knob. She flicked on the burner and
steered Robert back to the stool.
Neither one mentioned what had just happened.
Robert was quiet for the rest of the day.
Elizabeth tried to give him space while still making sure she was within
earshot if he needed anything. He went
through the mail that had piled up while he was in the hospital. Dorothy had sorted it for him and slit the
envelopes so he could read it easily.
There was nothing much of importance other than some things from his insurance
company and a few magazines that looked interesting. He took a long shower before dinner to try
and relax.
Elizabeth gave Ella a bath in the big tub in Robert's bathroom after dinner
while he took Gretel out in the back yard.
After getting Ella settled for the night Elizabeth changed into her own
pajamas and wandered downstairs to check on Robert. He was out on the deck, sitting on the steps
nursing a beer. "Would you like
some company?" she asked as she stepped outside.
"Always," said Robert with a small grin as he moved the bottle so
she could sit next to him. They sat and
shared the beer, watching Gretel run around chasing squirrels in the fading
daylight. The silence was comforting,
instead of stifling. The fresh air was a welcome change from the scent of the
hospital that seemed to permeate everything they wore there. A little after 9 Robert started yawning and
fidgeting.
"Bedtime," announced Elizabeth a few minutes later. Much to her surprise Robert didn't
protest. He wearily dragged himself up
the stairs as she went to the kitchen to get him a drink of water and some
Vicodin. She set them on the night stand
and sat down in the chair by the window.
She idly flipped through a magazine while she waited for Robert to
finish up in the bathroom. He came out
and sat down on the ottoman. "How
does it feel?" asked Elizabeth as she tentatively touched his left
shoulder.
"Stiff. Can you help me stretch it out?"
"Of course." Robert
settled down on the bed and Elizabeth gently helped him stretch out his
shoulder. He mumbled his appreciation as
the pain medication kicked in and his eyelids started to flutter. "Sleep, I'll be right here if you need
anything," she assured him as she turned out the light.
Robert slept fairly well, waking once to use the bathroom. He was still sound asleep when Ella called
from the crib a little after 7 the next morning. Elizabeth got her up and fed her before she
woke Robert up so he could get ready for his therapy appointment.
And so the next few days went fairly smoothly. Robert went to therapy in the mornings and
took it easy in the afternoons. He spent
time out on the deck reading about emergency medicine and upper extremity
prosthetic options. It surprised Elizabeth
that he wasn't pushing to start the prosthetic fitting process. For the moment he was working hard in OT to
learn ways to do various everyday tasks one handed. Elizabeth made it a point to wait for him to
ask for help. And he was learning to do
so before he became completely frustrated.
Ella was taking everything in stride; she loved staying at Robert's
house and playing with Gretel. The three
of them took a walk with Gretel every night after dinner. Robert would either push the stroller one
handed or if Ella was walking her took her by the hand. He tried to walk Gretel on the leash a few
times but she was such a big dog and he was still getting used to his altered
center of gravity that he didn't feel comfortable so Elizabeth held the leash
and walked next to him.
Each night Robert read to Ella and helped Elizabeth tuck her into bed. After Ella was asleep the two of them relaxed
for a while, watching television, talking or reading. They talked about the progress Robert was
making in therapy and about the latest advanced to Emergency Medicine. Robert was serious about learning what he
needed to in order to make his experience in the ER something he could be proud
of. It was a nice change for Elizabeth
to see. By 10 each night Robert was more
than ready for bed. He would let
Elizabeth tuck him in and fuss over him for a few minutes. Each night they slept in his bed wrapped
around each other. It was inevitable
that at least once a night Robert would wake from either a nightmare or from
pain. He was quick to calm down with a
few whispered words from Elizabeth and some Advil.
After one particularly grueling therapy session Robert arrived home, took a
shower and collapsed on the couch in the library before Elizabeth could get him
to eat something. She didn't think much
of it and went to feed Ella and get her down for her nap. As she was coming back down the stairs she
heard Robert get up and walk around. He
was muttering some rather colorful word which was something he didn't normally
do. She found him still in the library
standing in front of the fireplace. He
had his right hand braced on the mantle and his head bowed. "Robert?" she called softly. He glanced briefly over his right shoulder
and acknowledged her presence but didn't say anything. "Are you ok?" she asked as she
approached him with a little hesitation.
As she got closer she could tell he was shaking slightly. Robert didn't say anything. "Robert," she repeated more firmly
as she stood next to him, close but not actually touching him. He inhaled sharply and Elizabeth could see
his whole body tense up, his fingers gripped the mantle until they turned white
and he kicked his foot against the hearth.
"Hurts," he whispered in a ragged voice.
"Come on and sit down. Let me
get you something for pain," offered Elizabeth as she took him by the hand
and led him across the room. Robert
shuffled back to the couch.
"Ibuprofen?" Robert shook his head. "Vicodin?" Robert shook his head again. "Robert, talk to me," Elizabeth
insisted, starting to get a little worried.
"It hurts," he repeated without any further explanation.
"What hurts?" she asked as she gently pushed up the left sleeve
of his t-shirt. Robert pulled away
immediately. "Robert?"
"My hand...it...it feels like it's cramped. It's not there but I still feel it," he
said miserably.
"Phantom pain," sighed Elizabeth.
It was Robert's first experience with the little understood
sensation. He pulled away, not wanting
her to touch his arm, or any other part of him at all. Elizabeth let him be for a moment. She'd read enough to know that there was no
magic cure for the pain he was feeling. She literally and figuratively took a
step back and let him decide what he wanted. "Call me if you need
anything," she whispered as she got up from the couch. She closed the door behind her and leaned
against the wall in the hallway, shaking.
The buzzer from the dryer sounded and she headed for the laundry
room. As she pulled the clothes out of
the dryer she came across a blanket of Ella's.
As she fingered the soft warm fabric she got an idea. She took the blanket back to the
library. Robert was curled up on his
right side facing the back of the couch.
Elizabeth sat down on the coffee table and reached to touch his
shoulder. "How about a blanket from
the warmer?" she asked with a small smile.
Robert gave a little nod and sat up enough for Elizabeth to sit down in the
corner of the couch. He curled back up
with his head in her lap while she gently wrapped his shoulder in the warm
blanket. The warmth of the blanket and
Elizabeth's gentle touch and whispered reassurances calmed him a little. "Better?" she asked as she wiped
away the little tears at the corner of his eyes.
"Yeah, a little," Robert sighed as he rubbed his hand over the
stubble on his chin. "It woke me
from a sound sleep. It was like....it was
like the whole past year was a dream and I woke up with a cramp in my
hand. And then I sat up and reached for
my left hand. And realized it wasn't a
dream, it was the crappy reality of my life," said Robert as he sat
up. Elizabeth had no idea what to say to
that. She settled for rubbing his back
and pressing a kiss to his temple. As the cramping feeling passed Robert's
breathing slowed down and evened out as he started to relax. He finally unwrapped the blanket and stood up
and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat.
The phantom sensations continued for the next few days. They would come and go without warning,
leaving Robert miserable and withdrawn.
Elizabeth could see his confidence and determination starting to
wane. Finally she convinced Robert to
make an appointment with Dr. Klein to discuss his options.
Dr. Klein started Robert on Elavil, an antidepressant that had the dual
purpose of helping with the pain and with the depression he saw creeping up on
Robert. Unfortunately, as with many such
drugs it could be weeks before saw any relief.
Over the next few days Elizabeth tried to keep Robert occupied and keep his
spirits up. She kept him as busy as she
could. They spent time at the park with
Ella and went out to lunch with Dorothy the day after she returned. Dorothy was happy to see the physical
progress Robert was making but like Elizabeth she was worried about his mental
well-being.
***********************
All too quickly Elizabeth's time off was coming to an end. The night before she was scheduled to return
to the hospital she, Robert and Dorothy sat at his kitchen table having, at
times, a rather heated discussion over Dorothy's famous chocolate cake. Robert was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to
convince the two women that he didn't really need help at home, other than what
Dorothy did on a regular basis. That argument didn't get very far when
Elizabeth pointed out the obvious, he didn't drive. In the end he agreed to have Dorothy come in
the morning and take him to and from his therapy appointments. She would fix lunch and leave him by himself
in the afternoon. Elizabeth promised to
stop by at night when her schedule allowed to have dinner with him and
visit. Neither Elizabeth nor Dorothy
were thrilled about his insistence that he no longer needed anyone to stay
overnight with him. But they also knew
that regaining his independence was crucial to his recovery so they gave
in. Both were only a phone call away
should something happen.
The arrangements worked fairly well for the next couple of weeks. Robert didn't feel so smothered yet he knew
that there was always someone to call if he needed something. Once or twice a week he went out to lunch
with Dorothy and then they ran some errands just to get him out of the house
for a while. Even though he was at the
hospital nearly everyday for therapy he never went down to the ER to check up
on things and rarely even sought out Elizabeth while he was there. He didn't have a set date to return to work
and didn't seem eager to discuss it with anyone. That was one aspect of his recovery that
worried Elizabeth. The other was the
fact that he hadn't made any decisions regarding a prosthetic device. In general that wasn't a big deal. Delaying a decision about an upper extremity
was very different from a lower extremity.
He was completely mobile with only one arm and seemed content to learn
how to function in the world one-handed.
It was just completely different from what Elizabeth had expected of
him. She thought he would go out and
test drive all kinds of state of the art devices but that hadn't been the
case. And that just struck her as
odd. But Robert was making progress
physically and mentally so she tried to just support him and not worry so much.
One night, as the summer heat and humidity settled in to stay in Chicago;
Robert had Elizabeth and Ella over for dinner.
He cooked out on the grill, managing quite well with one hand. After dinner Ella and Gretel ran around the
yard while Robert and Elizabeth sat on the deck and watched. "Are you ok?" she asked,
"You've been quiet tonight."
"Just a little tired, I guess," he replied with a shrug of his
shoulders. He took a drink of his iced
tea before stretching his shoulder a little.
"Here, move down a step and I'll help you stretch it out,"
offered Elizabeth as she pointed to the step below the one she and Robert were
sitting on. He moved to sit in front of
her and let her help him. "How's
the phantom pain?"
"Better. I think the Elavil is
working. I guess I'm just getting a
little restless, being at home."
"Are you thinking about going back to work?"
"One handed, I don't think so," he said quickly.
"Robert," she said gently, "you've basically been one handed
for a year now. You've certainly ready
to go back and handle the administrative part of your job."
"Yeah, just great. The part of
my job I suck at," he mumbled as he reached for the bottle of tea. It was clear to Elizabeth that the
conversation was only going to spiral downward if she pressed him much more. She chose to ignore his last comment.
"So how about you just stop by for a visit. I'm sure everyone would like to see
you." Robert laughed so hard iced
tea nearly came out his nose.
"People would be happy to see me?
I don't think so," he spit out bitterly.
"Robert believe it or not people do ask about you, Abby, Carter,
Susan, even Kerry." Robert tipped
his head back to look at her.
"Really, people do care," she repeated as she leaned down a
little to press a kiss to his forehead.
"I'll think about it. So, I
didn't ask but would you and Ella like to stay tonight?"
"We'd love to stay. I have
Ella's bag in the van and I have some things in the guest room to wear
tomorrow."
"Good, I'd like that very much," admitted Robert shyly. Elizabeth and Ella hadn't spent the night
since they had returned home when Dorothy got back from vacation. "We should probably get Miss Ella inside
and ready for bed," said Robert as he glanced at his watch.
Elizabeth gave Ella a bath in Robert's tub while he cleaned up the kitchen
and managed to put a clean sheet on the crib one handed. He and Ella snuggled up together on the
overstuffed chair in his room after her bath.
He held her close, inhaling the scent of baby shampoo as she curled up
against his chest. He sang softly to her as she drifted off. He waved Elizabeth off as she tried to put
her in the crib. He wanted to hold her
for a while longer. She was one of the
few bright spots in his life, someone who could pull him out of the darkness,
even if it was only for a little while.
Elizabeth went downstairs to let Gretel out one more time and got
herself a drink of water. When she
returned Robert was about to drift off himself so she took Ella from him and
set her down in the crib. Robert crawled
into bed and was sleeping by the time she came back a few minutes later.
The next day dawned as one of the early summer days you could only wish
for. Bright sun, high clouds and just a
hint of a breeze greeted Robert as he let Gretel out a little after 7. He
started the coffee maker and stuck a bagel in the toaster just as he heard the
pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs.
"Wob, Wob," called Ella as she ran into the kitchen and launched
herself at him. He scooped her up in his
arm, kissed her cheek and then went to let Gretel back inside. Ten minutes later Elizabeth came down to the
smell of coffee and the sound of Ella chattering away as she sat in the high
chair playing with a banana Robert had put in front of her.
"Ella, don't play with your food.
Eat it please," she said as she kissed her daughter's head. She poured herself a cup of coffee and set it
on the table across from Robert.
"Morning," she said with a smile as she leaned over and kissed
him too. "Did you sleep well?"
"I did. I feel like getting out
of here for the day. Do you have any
plans?"
"None. What did you have in
mind?" asked Elizabeth smiling at the fact he seemed eager to get out and
do something.
"It's pretty warm out, how about we pack lunch and go to the
lake?" Robert suggested as he tossed Gretel the last bite of his bagel and
stood up.
"Sounds lovely. I need to go
home and pick up a couple of things first."
"Fine. You do that, I will pack
lunch."
While Elizabeth ran home for their bathing suits and some beach toys Robert
dragged the cooler out of the garaged, packed lunch and headed upstairs to get
dressed. He pulled on a t-shirt, a pair
of khaki shorts, shoved his feet into his sneakers and grabbed his Cubs hat. He brushed his teeth, found a bottle of
sunscreen and took his pills. By the
time Elizabeth returned he was walking out to his mailbox to grab the mail and
pick the newspaper up off the lawn.
A huge smile came to Elizabeth's face when she saw him. She couldn't ever remember a time when he
looked more relaxed. She knew she'd
never seen him wearing a baseball hat with a backpack slung over his
shoulder. He waved as she pulled into
the driveway.
Apparently a lot of other people had made similar plans for the day and
finding an out of the way spot by the lake proved to be a little more difficult
than they had planned but the look on Ella's face when she first stuck her feet
in the water made it all worth it. She
and Robert splashed in the water as Elizabeth spread out the blanket. Elizabeth wished she had a camera with her as
Robert knelt at the water's edge with her daughter, teaching her to shovel sand
into her little red bucket. He looked
more relaxed than she had ever seen him, before or after the accident.
Elizabeth joined them at the water where Ella showed off her new found
ability to kick up a spray of water.
"You had to teach her to do that," Elizabeth said as she
pointed in Robert's direction with one hand while wiping the cool water from
her face with the other. Robert just
shrugged his shoulders, tipped back his hat a little and gave her his best
innocent look. Elizabeth stuck out her
tongue at him and reached down to scoop up a bucketful of water. A second later when it became clear that she
intended to throw it at him Robert picked up Ella, holding the giggling child
in front of him like a shield. Elizabeth
called truce and Robert set Ella down only to find himself soaked as Elizabeth
kicked up a wall of water at him. He
kicked back a couple of times and then turned to cut towards the beach when his
newly altered center of gravity got the best of him and he went down in about a
foot of water. He was startled more than
anything, as he had landed on his right side.
Elizabeth ran over to help him up; she held out her hand to help him to
his feet and soon found herself just as wet as he was.
"Truce?" Robert asked as he stood up, still holing Elizabeth's
hand. She nodded in agreement and the
pair walked to the blanket where Ella was attempting to open the cooler. The three ate their lunch while they watched
the boats sail by. When Ella was done
Elizabeth washed her off and wrapped her in a towel before walking her up and
down the beach to get her to sleep.
Robert stretched out in a beach chair and read for all of ten minutes
before he also fell asleep. Elizabeth
settled Ella down on the blanket, threw a towel over Robert's legs so he
wouldn't burn and sat down in the other chair to read a magazine.
By 4 o'clock they were stuck in traffic heading back to Robert's
house. Elizabeth sang along with the
radio as Ella and Robert dozed. They
ordered pizza for dinner and Ella fell asleep curled up on Robert's chest as
they watched Sponge Bob Squarepants.
"I'll be back down in a few minutes," said Elizabeth as she
picked up her sleeping daughter.
Curled up in bed later that evening Robert realized he was the most relaxed
he'd been in over a year. Most of that was due to the woman next to him and the
little girl asleep in the next room. He
reached out to try and tuck Elizabeth's hair behind her ear without waking
her. He wasn't successful and she opened
her eyes and mumbled sleepily, "Are you ok?"
"Better than I've been in a long time," he whispered as he leaned
forward to kiss her softly.
"Me too," whispered Elizabeth as her eyes closed and she drifted
off again.
****************
Two weeks later Robert stood in the ambulance bay preparing to enter ER for
the first time since his surgery. Elizabeth
had wanted to accompany him on his first day back but the surgical schedule got
rearranged and she had to go in early.
"Welcome back," said Abby as she came up behind him and touched
his shoulder briefly.
"Thanks," replied Robert warmly.
"Let me know if you need anything," said Abby as the automatic
doors opened with a hiss and she disappeared around the corner.
A little over 3 hours later Elizabeth
came down to the ER for a consult. She
hadn't spoken to Robert all morning and no gossip had filtered up to the fourth
floor. Something that came as a surprise
to her. She passed by the admit desk and
called to Abby, "Where's the rule-out appy?"
"Curtain 3," she said as she headed for the suture room. "And he's in trauma 1. Seems to be doing really well," she
called over her shoulder, answering Elizabeth's
unspoken question.
"Thanks."
After checking on her patient Elizabeth
made her way over to Trauma 1 to see if Robert was still there. She found him right in the middle of things, sitting
by the patient's head adjusting the oxygen mask. She went into the next Trauma
room to get a better look. The patient
turned out to be a little boy of no more than 5 or 6. She could see a badly broken arm in a splint
and Luca putting in a chest tube. Robert
pulled his glove off with his teeth and tossed it into the bin before leaning
over and whispering to the boy as he brushed back his curly brown hair. Elizabeth
smiled as she leaned in the doorway and watched with what could only be
classified as pride. Sensing her
presence Robert looked over his shoulder and caught her eye. He winked and gave her a smile before turning
his attention back to his new little friend.
Her pager went off and she headed back up to surgery feeling happy that for
the first time in well over a year the dark cloud which had followed Robert
around was gone. What made that
realization all the more special was knowing that she and Ella were a big part
of that. And in turn he also helped her,
in more ways than he would ever understand.
THE END
